Cover Up (22 page)

The fluid thrusts of Ivan’s hips were driving Parker out of his mind. He did his best to move with Ivan, but between the sensual kisses and the perfect rhythmic pressure on his prostate he was losing control.

Ivan pulled back, breaking the kiss. The new position changed the angle of Ivan’s thrusts, forcing guttural groans from deep within Parker’s chest.

“So fucking hot.” Ivan smiled down at him and wrapped a hand around Parker’s erection.

Parker arched his back, legs stiffening for a moment before he exploded, shouting Ivan’s name. His cock jerked and spit, coating Ivan’s hand. Seconds later, Ivan squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered between his legs, finding his own release.

Parker lay limp and sated while Ivan dealt with the condom and gently cleaned him up. He’d never had better sex, but it was the sweet kiss and whispered words of gratitude that gave him hope for a future with Ivan.

Chapter 9

I
VAN
was so fucked, and not in the good way.

He tucked Parker closer to him, enjoying the heat of Parker’s skin against his own, and flipped on the tiny television on his dresser. He’d had sex with a suspect, again. For several hours, he’d forgotten he wasn’t Ivan Baker, insurance salesman, having drama with a potential boyfriend. He’d forgotten the main reason why having sex was a mistake, and it wasn’t the cheating. When Parker told him he was single, it was like thick, scudding clouds had suddenly disappeared, leaving sunshine and rainbows everywhere. He wanted Parker to be his more than anything, but the evidence of some serious drug-related crimes was mounting, and it wouldn’t be long before he’d have to go to Martelli with it.

But if he was going to save Parker, he needed to get Parker to trust him, and that meant not pushing him away. Meant spending as much time with him as he could. A little voice inside his head—far away and faint, sounding a lot like Trish—said he was rationalizing to get what he wanted, but he shushed her. This undercover op had been pure fucking hell, and maybe Parker was his compensation.

He lightly stroked Parker’s bare skin as Parker’s breath evened out and his body relaxed into that state just before sleep. This time, maybe Parker’s presence would chase away the nightmares. If nothing else, he’d be able to wake up and see Parker was fine, alive, and breathing.

Too soon for him to try and sleep, he contented himself with half listening to the TV while he stared down at Parker, trying to memorize this moment for when he had to return to his apartment alone.

Parker’s breathing quickly edged into snoring, which made Ivan smile. For such a slender, sweet guy, he had one hell of snore on him. Good thing Ivan could sleep through just about anything, although his recent sleep patterns had put a lie to that. Still, he had a good feeling about tonight. One decent night’s sleep and he’d be back to normal. He hoped.

When his eyelids got heavy, he turned off the television and settled back into his pillow, arms firmly wrapped around the body that fit his perfectly.

Right before he drifted off, Parker’s snores stopped abruptly, almost louder because of their absence. Seconds later, he stiffened and sat upright.

The sudden movement triggered Ivan’s adrenaline, and he jumped out of bed. Flicking on the light allowed him to assess the room for threats while locating possible weapons in lieu of his gun.

“What? What’s wrong?” Nothing appeared out of the ordinary—even the throbbing beat from the stereo downstairs hadn’t changed much.

“I… I can’t sleep here. I have to go back to my room.”

Ivan gritted his teeth, biting back the sarcastic reply threatening to pop out. Not sleeping together would prevent them from getting too attached, but shit. He’d been more comfortable than he could remember being in a long fucking time.

Parker got out of bed with the same shameful look on his face, a blush heating his cheeks, and he refused to meet Ivan’s eyes as he gathered up his clothes. This time, though, Ivan was able to engage some logic circuits. Last time, he’d seen this reaction as the guilty response to cheating on his boyfriend, but if that wasn’t the case, what was going on?

He took a deep breath and forced himself to speak calmly. “Why can’t you sleep here?”

“I just can’t.” The blush on Parker’s face got brighter, smoothing away the sharp edges of Ivan’s anger.

“Hey. You can tell me.” Ivan wrapped his arms around Parker, heedless of the clothes he clutched to his chest. He stared into Parker’s face, waiting for Parker to look at him.

When Parker finally lifted his eyes, the uncertainty in them made Ivan squeeze him just a little tighter. He might not be able to protect Parker from everything, but from this? Whatever reason Parker had for not wanting to sleep here, Ivan was sure he could protect him.

“What is it?” Ivan’s voice dropped to a low, coaxing register.

Parker pushed out of Ivan’s arms and glared at him. “Fine. If you want to know so bad, come on.”

Ivan snatched up a pair of briefs and slipped them on before following Parker to his room. Between their rooms, music swelled; the party was still going.

Once inside, Ivan closed the door and locked it while Parker tossed his clothes over a chair and walked to his nightstand.

Ivan almost laughed. Surely it wasn’t something to do with the limited number of sex toys, was it?

Parker pulled out the fighter pilot mask and black tubing, and Ivan’s urge to laugh disappeared. Shit. That kinky sex toy? No, that wouldn’t explain… no.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a CPAP machine, and it keeps me breathing while I’m asleep.”

“To keep you breathing?” Ivan didn’t understand why Parker sounded so angry when the thought of Parker needing something to keep him breathing scared the crap out of him.

Parker lifted a shoulder. “Okay, fine. Maybe it’s not quite as dramatic as that.” He sank down on the bed, shoulders curled in defeat.

“Explain, please.”

“I have a condition called sleep apnea. It makes me snore, and I’ll stop breathing for a few seconds, several times a night. If I don’t use it when I sleep, I’ll wake up with migraines, and it fucks up my blood pressure.”

“But you wouldn’t like, stop breathing altogether, right?”

Parker twined the tubing around his fist. “Probably not. Hasn’t yet, anyway.”

“So, you need this. What’s the problem?”

Squinting at him as though he were from another planet, Parker just waited. He waited long enough for Ivan to finally figure it out. Was he old before his time? This didn’t seem so earth-shattering, but then, things were always more dramatic and angst-inducing when you were young. Still, Parker probably never had one-night stands, not here at least.

But he was too fucking exhausted to spend too much time counseling Parker, and he didn’t want to lose the remnants of his post-orgasmic lassitude talking this out.

“Well, strap it on and let’s get some sleep.” Sleep. He might actually sleep tonight if he got to hold Parker through the night.

“I can’t!”

“Why the fuck not?” Ivan stripped off his briefs and climbed into the bed on the other side of Parker.

“Neil would never stay the night because it’s too loud.”

Ivan sat up, muscles tense like he was ready to fight. “I thought you weren’t together.”

Parker’s nostrils flared. “We’re not. Jeez. But he’s been my best friend since we were kids. Staying the night and not having sex is possible, you know.”

Relaxing back into the pillows—now that he didn’t have to go punch Neil—he waved at the machine. “And staying the night, no matter what your medical condition, is also possible.”

Before he could determine if the suspicious glint in Parker’s eyes was anything more than a trick of the light, Parker directed his gaze downward at the mask in his hands. With trembling fingers Parker performed actions which were clearly second nature.

“Come on.” Ivan patted the bed, and Parker climbed in beside him. “Let’s get some sleep, Darth.”

Parker’s eyes widened over the mask, and he reached a hand up to pull the mask down.

“Calm down. I’m joking.” He wrapped an arm around Parker’s waist and pulled him close. The stiff, unyielding muscles felt somewhat like trying to cuddle a surfboard, but he persevered. He pressed his nose to the side of Parker’s neck and gave him a tiny kiss. All in a rush, Parker’s muscles loosened, and the man in Ivan’s arms became pliant. Ivan let himself relax, breathing in the sweaty musk that he’d love to fall asleep next to for the rest of his life.

P
ARKER
danced around the kitchen, the stereo… not blasting, because Ivan was still asleep, but playing at a volume that let him sing along. Sleeping next to Ivan had been better than he’d imagined, because every time he’d imagined it, he hadn’t been wearing his CPAP. Somehow, he’d lucked into meeting a great guy who was great in bed and didn’t care that Parker wasn’t experienced, and who didn’t care about his condition.

Their sleep hadn’t been completely uninterrupted. Ivan had awoken a couple of times during the night with what appeared to be some sort of nightmare, but as soon as he looked at Parker and patted him a bit, he fell back asleep.

Pulling out bowls and pancake mix, Parker began to sing along with the song. It was a bit of an oldie, but it made him think of Ivan—everything did, lately—and he knew the words. He might not be much of a cook, but pancakes he could do, and Ivan deserved a treat. Maybe they could go to the market today as Ivan had suggested earlier. Boyfriend things, although he didn’t want to rush labeling their relationship. After all, Ivan had just gotten out of a marriage. Still, he couldn’t wait to tell Neil that he was right. And he was so happy now, he might not even bitch Neil out for the insane fucking mess he’d left from the party. Today, nothing could ruin his good mood.

Warm arms wrapped around him from behind. Sighing, he leaned back against Ivan’s chest. This was how it was supposed to be. This was what he’d been missing and wanting.

“Morning.” Ivan’s voice was gravelly with sleep, and the press of lips against his neck felt like home. As long as he didn’t rush things, waited for Ivan to be ready for another relationship, things would be great. “What are you making?”

“Pancakes.”

“Oh, yeah? I should make you sleep with me every night. ”

Parker closed his eyes and manfully held back a plea for Ivan to do just that. Ivan hadn’t cared about his condition, hadn’t flinched or freaked out or anything, and, if this morning was any indicator, hadn’t lost any of his attraction for Parker.

“Ready to eat?” That was a safe thing to say.

“Sure.”

Parker dished out the pancakes that he’d made. Probably not enough to satisfy them both, but he could make more later.

Sitting across from him at the table, Parker smiled shyly at Ivan. He’d never had breakfast with a guy after spending the night together, but it was pretty fucking awesome. Was it too soon to suggest they sleep in the same room every night? Ivan might have been joking about that. They hadn’t discussed anything; Ivan might not want to be exclusive. But he was so thankful he hadn’t called Thom last night. Somehow, even if he’d had sex with Thom, he knew he wouldn’t have woken up as happy as he did this morning. He didn’t fit with Thom like he did with Ivan.

“Neil’s guests left quite a mess.” Ivan spoke between bites.

“Yeah, I know. I’ll clean it up after breakfast. Then maybe we could go to the St. Lawrence market or something?” He waited, barely breathing. What if now that they’d slept together, Ivan didn’t want to do dating stuff together? He didn’t really even know if Ivan was out. Even if they did go on a “date,” he’d have to be careful about how he interacted with Ivan in public.

“Why do you let him do that? He’s taking advantage of you, you know.”

Parker grimaced. No matter what other people thought, he wasn’t all that naïve. “When we moved in here after my grandmother died, I started a new school where I didn’t have any friends. No one wanted to be friends with the new kid, especially not….” He swallowed heavily. Ivan had been more accepting than he’d expected about his sleep apnea, but Parker had experienced firsthand, and multiple times, the bias gay men had against overweight guys. He’d lost most of the excess weight he’d been carrying, but he could easily gain some of it back, and he sure wasn’t as toned as Ivan was.

One brow lifted while Ivan’s bright blue eyes stared at him. “Especially not….” Ivan prompted.

“Especially not the new fat kid.” Parker whispered the last two words, but Ivan heard him, because his eyes softened in an expression Parker hoped wasn’t pity.

“Is that why there aren’t any pictures of you around here? You should put up some of you and your mom.” Ivan coughed like he’d swallowed wrong, then cleared his throat. “I mean, you must have some, right?”

Parker nodded.

“I bet you were a cute kid.” There was no doubt in Ivan’s voice, and Parker found himself able to smile again. “So, you’re grateful he was nice to you? That’s why you let Neil walk all over you?”

“Yep. He’s been my friend throughout everything. Helped me when my mom died. I know he can be a little selfish, but he’s there for me. He’s a constant in my life. Besides, he’s also my first.”