Covering the Carolinas (55 page)

Emmett

Watching Mr. Lowery tell Raegan
breaks my heart. I want to hold them both in my arms and tell them
it will be okay, but we all know that it will not be. All I can do
is be there for her. Jordyn heads home, and Raegan excuses
herself for a few minutes.

In these few minutes, Mr. Lowery wastes no time.

“
Boys, I know this going to be hard on each of
you, not just Sunshine, but I need you to know what I expect from
each of you.” He tells us exactly how he expects her future to go,
what roles Cole and I will play, and what he has planned for her
after he passes. It amazes me that a man who is in his final days
can still have a positive outlook on life, but I
also know he wants the best for his Sunshine. No
matter what I have to do, I’m going to
make sure his
Sunshine gets everything he ever wished for her.

Chapter 40

Raegan

I’m not really sure why I leave
them alone, but I do. I almost feel like Grandaddy wants to talk to
them about me or maybe them. I don’t know, but all I know is I go
to my room, grab that bunny and pray like I never have before. I
pray that God won’t let Grandaddy suffer, that
He will take him before that happens, and that he knows I’ll
be okay. As tears stream down my face, I hear that all too familiar
voice of my mama, as well as her touch on my skin. In that moment,
she whispers into my ear it is going to be okay, and by being his
Sunshine, I’ll continue to shine brightly for the entire world to
see. Then, as quickly as she came, she is gone. I dry my tears,
touch up my makeup, and head back downstairs to see Emmett, Cole,
and Grandaddy yelling at the TV as the official makes some lame
call, and I know in my heart, this life is good no matter what it
might throw my way.

Cole and Emmett eat supper with us and Grandaddy
explains a few things to us.

“
Raegan, we need to talk about a few things,
and I want the boys to be here. Are you okay with that?” He
questions.

“
Yes, sir.”

“
Over the past few months I’ve been meeting
with Joe about what I want to happen when I am gone. When your
parents passed, I set up a trust fund for you from their life
insurance policies, but I don’t want you to use that unless you
absolutely need to. I want the farm to be your income. Cole has
agreed to run the farm with you both being partners, if that’s okay
with you.”

“
Grandaddy, this is a lot to take in. Are you
sure this is what you want?”

“
Sunshine, I’ve thought this through. Cole and
you have worked on this farm and know everything about it. If
things continue to prosper, you won’t have to ever worry about
income. You can still go to college and be a young adult, but this
way I know you’re taken care of.”

I look toward Cole and then to Emmett for their
thoughts. “Rae, I love this farm and if this is something you want
me to be a part of, I’d be honored.” Cole states.

“
Grandaddy, this farm is my home. I can’t see
myself anywhere else. I promise we will make you proud. Isn’t that
right, Cole?”

“
You bet.” He says.

Emmett remains pretty quiet throughout the
conversation, and I know that he’s trying not to overstep his
boundaries.

Once the conversation about my future is complete,
we finish supper, and Cole lightens the mood with stories about
great times we’ve had. Emmett begins to relax, and as I look around
the table, I know that I’m surrounded by people that truly love me
for me.

When the table is cleared and the dishes are
finished, Cole and Emmett head home. This is when things begin to
change. I have to help Grandaddy remove his shoes because his feet
are swollen so much, and then I have to walk with him for stability
to the restroom. Honestly, it is for me to make sure he is okay. By
Tuesday morning, I know his days are numbered. Grandaddy insists I
go to school, but my mind can’t focus. On Thursday, I see the
guidance counselor and inform her of Grandaddy’s situation. I know
confidentiality is big in her department; therefore, I feel
comfortable talking to her. Of course, she offers all types of
counseling, but I’m not interested.

Each day is the same routine for me. I get up, check
on Grandaddy, check on the farm, and then help him slide on his
shoes, until today. They won’t fit, and I see the defeat in his
eyes. “Get my slippers,” he says. I do as he says and make my way
to school.

Our weekend
is
spent with Grandaddy, and he’s doing a lot of resting at this
point. He’s still stubborn as a mule and independent, but I know
the time is approaching. On Thursday, my fears become my reality
when he begins to slip further and further away. I don’t go to
school and neither does Emmett. He and Cole are right beside
me.

After breakfast, Grandaddy asks for us to call the
nurse, and I know things must be bad. When Christie arrives, we
smile. She’s as sweet as sugar, and Grandaddy loves her. For the
longest time, when she’d come to check on him, he’d try to push her
out the door so she could visit all the people worse than him.

“
Rae, how is he?” she asks me.

“
Not good,” I say as a sob
escapes
. “But, he’s still acting like nothing
is wrong with him.” She laughs and makes her way to check on him.
When she finishes, she comes back out and gives me the information
I knew was coming.

“
It could be anytime now. I’ll be back later
today to check on him.”

“
Thank you for everything,” I say in
appreciation.

Once I go back to check on him, I
see his breath is becoming more labored. I know I will not go to
school tomorrow because he is
more important, no
matter what he tells me.

We have a rough night. Cole stays with me, and we
take turns staying up while Grandaddy sleeps. Hank hasn’t left
Grandaddy’s side since he permanently moved to his bedroom, and he
knows that something is going on.

As the sun rises, Grandaddy begins to mumble
something about fishing, and I try not to giggle. Then, the reality
sets in that this is the end. “Grandaddy, I’m here,” I say as I
take his hand.

When he wakes up, he looks at me. “I’m so tired,
Sunshine. I’m so tired. Why won’t the good Lord take me home?” he
says.

I have no idea what to say, and then out of thin
air, the words roll off my tongue. “Grandaddy, maybe there’s a line
to get in today, and God wants you to stay with me here so you
don’t have to stand and wait.”

A smile escapes his lips. “Maybe
you’re right, Sunshine, but, oh, I’m
so
tired.” He begins to cough, and I
call for Cole. He runs into the room.

“
Go call Christie,” he tells
me. I race to call her, but as I do, I begin to break as I
lose
my
Sunshine. He’s always been the light in my life. What am I
going to do without him?

“
Christie, we need you,” I manage to
say.

“
I’m on my way,” she responds as the phone
disconnects.

After hanging up the phone, I rush back to
Grandaddy’s side. Cole and I talk to him like it’s a normal day. He
gets out of bed to use the restroom and even posts himself on the
edge of the bed as we wait for Christie.

Within twenty minutes, there is a knock on the door.
“Mornin,’ Mr. Lowery. How are we doin’ today?” she asks as she
moves to take a seat beside him on the bed.

He looks at her. “I could be better, I guess.” Then,
he laughs, and we all laugh. Even when the light is dim, he
continues to be positive.

After Christie assesses the situation, she goes to
the refrigerator. “Mr. Lowery, I’m gonna give you some medicine to
make you comfortable. Just enough to help you rest a little.” He
looks at me, and I nod my head. She proceeds to give him a dose of
morphine. Seeing him take that medicine, I know it’s needed, and
within twenty minutes, he is resting peacefully.

I take a step out into the hallway toward the
kitchen to see Christie waiting. “I thought you had left?” I
ask.

“
No, Rae, I just wanted to make sure he got to
sleep. How are you?”

“
Hard to believe, but right now, I’m okay. As
much as it hurts to lose him, I don’t want him to suffer. I know it
could be worse, but my heart can’t take it,” I say as I sit at the
kitchen table with her.

“
I understand. I want you to
know I’m here if you ever need me, even after all of this is over,”
she says as she takes my hands in hers. “That grandaddy of
yours
is special. I’ve never met anyone like
him. It’s always been more about conversation and friendship than
being his nurse. He wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“
I know. I was worried in the beginning,
because he doesn’t let anyone know his business, but you came in,
and he was okay with it. I’m glad you were the one sent to
us.”

“
Me, too,” she replies. “I’m going to make a
few more calls. If you need me, call me. I will check back in later
today.”

“
Yes, ma’am,” I say, walking her to the door
before going back to Grandaddy’s side. “Cole, you can go home for a
while if you want, or go check on the farm. Don’t feel like you
have to stay here all day,” I state.

“
Raegan, I can’t believe
you’d say that
. I love that man more than you
know, but if you are okay for a few minutes, I’m going to feed the
animals in the barn and check the water. Emmett’s coming around
lunch.”

“
Good, and that’s fine. I haven’t checked the
chicken house either, and Cole, I didn’t
mean to be that harsh a second ago. My emotions are runnin’
crazy.”

Cole walks over to me and holds me tightly. “There’s
no need to apologize. I feel the same way. I’ll be back in a few
minutes.”

He exits the room, and I sit beside Grandaddy in the
chair next to his bed. I watch as he sleeps peacefully, but his
breathing is hard and a big puff escapes when he exhales. As he
sleeps, I say what is on my heart, “It’s okay, Grandaddy. I’m going
to be fine. You don’t have to hold on any longer, and no matter
what, I’ll never let you go.”

In his sleep, he mutters, “I’ll never let you go,
Sunshine, but I’m wore slap out.”

“
I know you are. Rest a while until the line’s
an express lane.” I slide out of my chair and onto the floor beside
the bed. I continue to hold his hand as I rest my head on the edge
of his bed. Before I realize it, the sounds of voices wake me. Cole
and Emmett have slipped into the room.

“
Have a nice snooze there?” Cole asks, and
panic sets in as I look at Grandaddy to see if he’s still
breathing. His breaths are further apart, but he’s resting. “You
think we need to call Christie?” he asks. I just shake my head
no.

“
I just want the four of us in this room when
the time comes.”

“
Are you sure?” he asks once more.

“
I’m sure,” I reply and
neither says another word. Cole takes my seat in the chair as I sit
on the bed with Grandaddy, and Emmett stands to the side.
Grandaddy’s eyes open, and a smile crosses his face when he looks
at me. “Grandaddy, you
want me to sing for
ya?”

“
That’d be perfect, Sunshine.” Just like that,
I look at him and smile as I begin to sing his favorite hymn,
“Amazing Grace”. Grandaddy does his best to sing with me, but by
the final
verse, he doesn’t say a word. He
smiles at me, and mouths he loves me. Tears begin to flood my eyes,
and I give him everything I have. As I sing the final note, he
takes his last breath.

As the reality sets in, I scan the
room to find
Cole and Emmett. Cole looks at his watch
for Grandaddy’s time of death as Emmett moves toward me, and all I
can do is hold onto Grandaddy. His
hand is
warm as I cry for him and what my life will be like without him.
Emmett embraces me from behind, and I sob. Vaguely, I can hear Cole
on the phone with someone whom I assume is Christie, but I can only
focus on the body in front of me.

Emmett loosens his grip on me, and
I crawl into bed with Grandaddy and hug him, just like
he did me all those years ago when I lost almost everyone
that was important to me.

Emmett

As we walk outside, Cole gets
choked up, but pushes the tears behind him. “Cole
,
it’s okay to cry. He’s like another dad to you.”

“
I know, but I promised not to cry. He
wouldn’t want it
that way,” he says as
Christie’s car pulls up the driveway.

She doesn’t knock. She just comes inside and looks
at us before making her way to Mr. Lowery’s room.

“
Cole, this is a new beginning for all of us.
We need to be there for Rae, but we also need to be there for each
other. You’re the best brother I could have asked for, and I’m here
for ya. Just like I know you’re going to be here for
me.”

“
You know I’ll be here for ya. I just hope
that when Uncle Dover looks down on us, we make him proud in
everything we do. I want his legacy in this town to live on, and we
can do that keeping up the farm and running it like Uncle Dover
did. I hope one day, I’m half the man he was.”

Chapter 41

Raegan