Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love
Read Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love Online
Authors: CJ Bishop
OUTLAWS OF LOVE
The Cowboy Gangster, Book 3
CJ BISHOP
Copyright © 2015 Rascal Hearts
All Rights Reserved.
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
For questions and comments about this book, please contact us at
[email protected]
♦
Axel twisted the hot and cold knobs simultaneously, turning off the shower. He squeezed the excess water from his hair and stepped out onto the soft bathmat and grabbed the towel off the rack. It had taken him less than ten minutes to shower. Without Clint to accompany him –a shower was just a shower. Nothing exciting and no reason to linger.
He dried his body and wrapped the towel around his waist then wiped the steam from the mirror. The anxiety that had set in last night remained visible in his eyes and in the pinch of his brow. He couldn’t unclench the knot in his gut or force the tightness in his chest to ease. Clint had been
scared
. And that in itself scared the shit out of Axel. He hadn’t known Clint a long time, but he’d known him long enough to understand that the man didn’t scare easily. Perhaps on a subconscious level, Axel hadn’t believed the cowboy could be frightened
at all
.
He was wrong.
“Scared or not,” Axel whispered to his reflection. “This is
Clint
you’re talking about. He’s fine. Nothing’s going to happen to him.” He gripped the edge of the sink and swallowed thickly, an ache in his throat. “He’ll be home soon, and everything…will be fine.”
Releasing a slow, pent up breath, Axel left the bathroom. He glanced down the hall toward the living room and could see Dane’s stockinged feet propped up on the coffee table, ankles crossed, and Angel’s legs draped over his knees. He couldn’t see their faces from where he stood but was certain they were wrapped up in each other’s arms.
Axel’s arms felt empty, and ached to be wrapped around his cowboy once more. Would Clint be back today? Axel didn’t know what had taken him away last night, but it was bad. He needed to see Clint and know he was okay.
This isn’t going to be the last time something like this happens –not with Clint. Are you really ready to hitch yourself to a gangster? Can you handle it when the shit hits the fan? And it inevitably will. Maybe already has.
Last night had given Axel a huge dose of reality and a crisp glimpse into Clint’s lifestyle, and admittedly –it terrified him. The world was a cold and ugly place, though, whether or not he was involved with a gangster. Wasn’t it
better
to have someone at his side who understood the dark side of life and could help him navigate the waters more safely?
But that isn’t why you want him by your side, not really.
Axel knew the truth. It wouldn’t matter if Clint was an everyday ‘Joe’, Axel would still want to be with him. Clint made him feel complete and…necessary.
And so damn loved.
Axel turned away from the living room and walked down the hall to his bedroom. He was in love with the cowboy, there was no denying it. He didn’t know how he could make such an about face from who he had been, his aversion to being gay –and come to this. His need to resist the emotions Clint stirred in him was no longer present. He craved the man’s love and passion, and welcomed it with open arms. There was no one left in his life to make him feel weak and ashamed and worthless. They had all been replaced by…angels. And not just
one.
Axel entered the bedroom and closed the door –and froze. Every function that kept him alive came to an abrupt halt –heartbeat stilled, blood stopped flowing, and breath lodged in his throat –as he stared at the cowboy standing at the window, hands clamped to his hips, his back to the room.
Clint.
Everything surged to life again so suddenly he went dizzy.
He’s home.
♦
The sound of the shower turning off had almost sent Clint running. He’d looked some of the deadliest people in the eye and hadn’t hesitated to tell them what he was going to do to them, the pain and torture he was about to inflict –and never bat an eye while doing so. His pulse never raced out of his control, his mind never once hitched with remorse or any sense of conscience.
Yet here he stood, shaking in his boots, terrified to look a
boy
in the eyes –and bring the hammer down on his heart.
When the bathroom door opened, he knew he’d waited too long to make a clean escape. Why had he come back? He should have never returned, just stayed away.
You came back because you told him you would.
Maybe that was it –bound by his fucking
word
. Yet he was about to break it anyway, so what the fuck difference would it have made
which
promise he’d backed out on?
His gut knotted into stone as Axel stepped into the bedroom and closed the door. He felt the kid freeze on the spot…heard his breath stall, then surge out of him. His excitement hit Clint like a waft of warm air that quickly chilled his heart.
“You’re…home.” Axel spoke in a whisper, his joy barely contained.
Home
. For that one brief moment…it
had
been home. But it was an illusion, all of it. Most of all…Axel. Somehow Clint had fallen into the role of ‘domestic boyfriend’ –and it had cost him.
Too fucking much.
He’d been busy playing fucking
house
while Cory and Shay had been walking into an ambush. His gut had told him something was wrong. But he hadn’t listened. He hadn’t wanted to leave…
Cochise’s anger was warranted. Under any other circumstance, Clint would have been right there with Cory, watching his back, making fuck sure he got out of there unscathed. The Egyptian was right –he’d fucking
slipped.
And the consequences were too great to ignore.
“Clint…”
He could let his mind turn on Axel, blame the kid for his own fuck up. But Axel didn’t deserve that. He was an innocent bystander who’d simply made the horrible mistake of falling for the wrong man. And now –like Shay and Gianni Venetti –he would become collateral damage in a war he should have been nowhere near.
The fault was Clint’s and his alone. He could take the blame for young Gianni’s death as well. It was his inability to pull the trigger on Carlo –that ultimately put the bullet in the man’s son.
This last casualty was unavoidable. But maybe…if his aim was off…he could just wound Axel. He would recover, move on…and forget about all of this as Clint silently rode away into the sunset –as was the ultimate destiny of all cowboys.
Axel came closer. He didn’t hear him move, so much as feel him.
Turn around and face him. You owe him that much.
“Clint…what’s wrong?” A slight tremor crept into Axel’s voice. “What happened?”
What happened.
Clint stared out the window, the buildings across the street shifting in and out of focus as his vision blurred.
I fucked up –that’s what happened! And now you have to join the others who are paying for my mistakes.
“Please say something.” The boy’s voice shook with added fear. “Look at me.”
Clint tried. His legs wouldn’t work, his boots cemented to the floor. Once he turned and looked at him –it would be over. Everything. The dream would disappear and reality would set back in for good. There would be no going back to sleep, crawling back into that sweet dream.
His breath shuddered hard in his throat when Axel’s arms wrapped around his waist and he pressed his lips to the back of his neck. “You can tell me,” he whispered. “No matter what it is.”
Clint lowered his head and stared at Axel’s hands pressed flat against his stomach, his hold on Clint a testament in itself of the truth of the young man’s words –he
could
tell Axel the truth.
But it wouldn’t
change
anything.
His hands shifted from his hips and he slowly covered Axel’s hands, gripping…then squeezing as he pulled the boy’s arms tighter around him. His throat knotted, closed as he ducked his chin to his chest and the tears began to escape one at a time. His body trembled in Axel’s embrace and the boy hugged him harder.
“Clint…” Axel choked quietly, fear and uncertainty quaking his voice. “What’s-”
Clint turned quickly and grabbed Axel’s face, startling the young man as he crushed his mouth in a desperate kiss and backed him urgently to the bed. He held Axel captive in the kiss and dropped his hands, ripping off the towel before he clutched the boy’s ass and lifted him up. Axel flung his arms and legs around him and gripped fistfuls of Clint’s hair, kissing him hard and desperate as they fell onto the bed together.
“Clint,” Axel shuddered through their kiss, his hands trembling as he tugged urgently at Clint’s clothes. Clint grabbed at Axel’s lips, preventing any imminent questions from forming, and aided in stripping himself naked.
Pressed firm between Axel’s legs, Clint scooted him up against the pillows. Axel flattened his palms on Clint’s cheeks, soft moans rolling up his throat as their kiss seemed to go on forever. The boy curled his legs around Clint’s body and lifted up to him. Clint broke their kiss only long enough to spit in his hand and coat his stiff erection before entering Axel.
“Fuck,” Axel swallowed thickly, the word hardly falling from his lips before Clint seized another kiss and crushed the boy in his arms, pushing deeper inside him. Axel whimpered into his mouth and squeezed Clint’s flanks with his thighs.
Clint kept his eyes clamped shut, feeling the tears building behind his closed lids as the heat of Axel’s perfect body engulfed him on every level. His throat worked and lips began to tremble against Axel’s mouth. He pushed deeper into the kiss as he buried himself in the young man, his thrusts urgent, desperate. The tears began to force their way out and he shifted his mouth to Axel’s throat, clinging to the young man, his breath broken and ragged as he fucked him harder.
“Uuh!” Axel gasped loud. His fingers gouged Clint’s slicked back, embedding in his straining muscles. “Yes…Clint!” The boy’s teeth raked his earlobe, his breath hot, panting. He clung to Clint, his body conforming to Clint’s every thrust and shift of his hips.
Axel unexpectedly initiated a shift of position and pushed Clint over on his back, moving with him in a smooth action, their bodies remaining united as Axel ended up on top, straddling him. Their rhythm hardly interrupted, Axel rocked his hips, gliding sensually up and down Clint’s rigid shaft.
Tears drained down Clint’s temples as he opened his eyes and gazed up at the boy. Axel started to slow, concern squeezing his brow.
“No,” Clint whispered thickly and gripped Axel’s hips, keeping him moving. “Don’t stop…”
A wet sheen glossed Axel’s eyes, fear pooling in their depths. “Clint…”
“Shhh…” Clint shook his head slowly, his vision swimming. He wove his fingers through Axel’s own and gripped the boy’s hands. “Not now,” he choked quietly. “Not yet.” He sat forward and hugged Axel tight against his body. Urgency quickened their rhythm, trembled the bed beneath them, and Clint buried his face in Axel’s neck, clinging to him desperately as warm tears dripped onto Axel’s damp skin and mingled with his sweat.
Don’t make me wake up yet…let me stay in this dream just a little longer.