Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love (7 page)

He opened his eyes. He’d followed protocol. Innocence was an illusion. Had the boy been left to live, he would have become a potential future threat, a force of vengeance that could ultimately take out more lives within the Sanitini “family”. Loose ends too easily formed the noose that eventually hung a man.

Cochise slowly circled the bullet hole with the pad of his thumb. And there remained yet one more loose end that required
tying up
. “I’ll find the motherfucker who did this,” he whispered tightly. “And when I do…they’ll be scooping up his fucking remains in baggies.” His hand rubbed up over the dead boy’s head and he leaned down, pressing his lips to Shay’s cool brow. “I promise you.”

Cochise left the morgue and returned to the parking lot. He sat on a metal bench outside the entrance to the ER waiting room and took out his phone. He was confused by his sudden compulsion to call Clint. The cowboy had been in the wrong. Cochise had seen it in his eyes –he’d been prepared to spare Venetti’s life. That had never been option, not for Cochise. Not when Shay lay dead in the hospital morgue by Venetti’s doing. His “reasoning” was not Cochise’s concern.
Shay
was his concern. And he would slaughter each and every motherfucker who’d had a hand in orchestrating the boy’s death.

And Venetti’s son had been guilty by association.

Cochise stared at the cell in his hand, an indecipherable weight in his chest. When his thumb moved over the keypad, pressing numbers, he wasn’t fully aware of who he was calling until the low male voice answered on the other end –hesitant and uncertain.

♦

The bedroom door closed just moments before his phone went off. Kane stood at the door and stared at the device on his nightstand, anxiety knotting his gut. It made no sense to think the man would be calling him. Why would he? To set up a fuck date? That seemed unlikely. The Egyptian made no pretenses –he just showed up to collect. There would be no courtesy call ahead of time.

Still, Kane’s steps were heavy, unwilling as he moved across the floor and set the coffee cup on the stand and picked up the cell. There was no name to accompany the number, but a name wasn’t necessary –he had memorized the damn number long before he’d drank himself into oblivion two nights ago.

Don’t answer. Whatever he’s offering –you don’t want.

The words chanted inside his head as he accepted the call and slowly raised the phone to his ear. “Hello?” he spoke quietly, his voice thick, anxious.

The line was open but there was no reply.

“What do you want from me?” Kane whispered thickly.

Nothing. No response.

Please just leave me alone.
He tried to form the words, but they refused to come. He swallowed thickly as an unexpected pressure squeezed his chest and he was hit with the sudden sense that something was wrong. But even if that were the case –why would the man call
him?

He licked his lips anxiously, confused as to why he gave a fuck and asked cautiously, “Cochise? Are you…okay?”

The line went dead seconds later.

♦

Anthony gripped Angelo’s hands and brought them to his lips, then kissed his mouth softly. He held his hands against his chest and leaned into the kiss without force or demand. The need to make love to the man was nearly more than he could resist, but it shouldn’t happen like this –if it should happen at all. Shay’s death and almost losing Cory as well…it was wreaking havoc on their emotions.

“Just lay with me, and hold me,” Anthony whispered against Angelo’s lips. “Let me fall asleep in your arms.” He mapped the lines of Angelo’s face with a single fingertip, lastly caressing across his lower lip and kissed him again. “Is that enough…for now?”

Angelo nodded and shifted closer. His arm slid around Anthony’s body beneath his open shirt. “I think it has to be,” he said quietly then nuzzled Anthony’s neck and sighed softly. “I’m sorry for…wanting more.”

Anthony kissed his head, his lips lingering. “Don’t be sorry.” He lifted his face and laid another warm kiss on his mouth. “Don’t ever be sorry for wanting more.” He cupped Angelo’s neck and drew him deeper into the kiss, moaning softly. It felt so good to kiss him…to just let go and give into the passion. He pulled back from the kiss just enough for their lips to graze lightly together, tugging gently.

It was strange, Anthony thought, how a passion that had lain dormant for so long…could reignite so suddenly and without warning. His fingertips played along the cord in Angelo’s neck, then the line of his jaw as he grabbed soft kisses from the man’s lips.

Or maybe it hadn’t really been dormant at all…merely
quiet
.

♦

“Let’s go for a walk instead,” Gabe said when Angel headed for Gabe’s car. The man smiled and held out his hand. Angel took it and fell in beside him. Max lived in a nice neighborhood, the houses along the street were cared for with neatly kept lawns. Angel hadn’t expected to ever be acquainted with anyone who lived in such a neighborhood –much less be a real part of their family.

They came to the end of Max’s block before Gabe finally spoke. “I know you’re very angry with Clint right now,” he said gently and squeezed Angel’s hand. “And I understand. Axel was happy, that much was clear. Losing Clint had to have been a painful blow to his heart.”

“It
crushed
him,” Angel whispered, his throat instantly knotting. “And now he doesn’t want me or Maddy or any of us in his life. And it’s Clint’s fault. Why did he bother getting involved with Axel if he was just gonna…break his heart? That’s…cruel.”

Gabe sighed. “Tell me something, babe,” he murmured. “When you saw Clint and Axel at the club yesterday, what was your impression of Clint’s feelings for Axel?”

Angel ducked his head and stared at the sidewalk. “That…that he really cared about him. He showed all the little signs of…a man falling in love.”

“That’s what I saw, too,” Gabe admitted. “Do you know how
real
it has to be, for a man like Clint to display such emotions for others to see? I’ve known Clint since I was eighteen –ten years now –and until he met Axel, I never saw the man show any notable emotion. I mean, he let you know if he liked you. But he was very guarded with his heart, never shed a tear.” He brought Angel’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “Yet Dane said that when he walked out of the apartment…walked out on Axel…there were tears on his face.”

Angel nodded. “Yes,” he whispered thickly.

“If that badass cowboy is crying…” Gabe slowed to a stop and looked down at Angel. “…Then I guarantee he is hurting like hell.”

His throat working, Angel met Gabe’s eyes. “If he cares about him…then why did he leave him? He knew what he was doing to Axel. Why would he…he hurt him like that?”

“Baby…” Gabe cupped his head and kissed his hair. “You have to understand that Clint lives in a different world than we do. And is forced to play by different rules. I know, I used to live in that world as well. It’s a hard life that sometimes requires a man to make hard decisions. If he’s walking out of Axel’s life –he’s doing so because he believes it’s in Axel’s best interest. Not because he doesn’t care anymore, but because he
does
care.”

Angel wrapped his arms around Gabe’s waist and buried his face in his chest. “That’s what Dane said,” he trembled. “More or less.”

Chuckling softly, Gabe stroked his head. “Well, you should listen to your wise boyfriend. Dane is a smart man.”

Angel drew back as uncertainty knit his brow. “Do you know why he left? Did…did he say anything to you? Tell you why he just took off last night?”

“No,” Gabe said. “He didn’t have time to explain what was going on. But whatever it was, it had him scared. And very little scares the cowboy. So it had to have been bad.”

“Is there…” Angel looked at him anxiously. “Is there something going on that you and Cole and Dane aren’t telling me? I know Clint told Dane something.”

Gabe touched his face. “Do you trust us, babe?”

“You know I do.”

“Then trust us on this.” He lifted his face and kissed him softly on the lips. “And don’t lose faith in the power of love. You and Dane are living, breathing proof that love defies all odds. Our entire
family
is proof.” He smiled. “So keep your chin up, and just continue being the angel that you are.”

♦

“I wish I had all the answers,” Dane said gently as he and Axel sat down on the sofa again. “I know you’re hurting over Clint…and Angel. I can’t tell you why Clint did what he did, I don’t know his reasons. But Angel wants you in his life. He wants you and him and Maddy to be brothers, for real.” Dane rubbed his hand down the back of Axel’s head. “You have a chance to be a part of a loving family, Axel. And it’s a large family. Don’t throw that away. Angel loves with a very special kind of love, and when it’s offered to you…you grab it up and hold on tight. There was a moment when I thought I had lost it, and I barely survived.”

Axel released a shaky breath. “How do I…forgive myself for what I did to him?” He looked at Dane with tears in his eyes. “How does a person do that?” he lowered his gaze and hugged himself. “It’s that first time that gives me nightmares. When…when Wade brought Angel home from that…that shithole where he’d left him for two days…” Axel squeezed his eyes shut, his chest tightening. “I’ll never forget the way he looked, the...horror in his eyes. He was…shaking…and crying…and he didn’t stop for days.” Axel trembled. “He just sat in the corner of his room, on that filthy mattress…his head in his arms and…was crying and rocking. And…and Maddy cried the whole time, too. He was terrified, he didn’t know what was wrong with Angel.”

Leaning forward, Dane rested his arms on his knees and slid his fingers through his hair, gripping his head. “Believe me, Axel,” he shuddered, his voice strained with tears. “There were…others whose sins far surpassed your own.” Axel looked at him and Dane whispered, “I was there…in that hellhole where Wade dropped Angel.” A visible tremor coursed through the man and tears brimmed in his dark eyes which resonated a pain that matched what Axel felt inside. “That horror on his face…I helped etch it there by my own hand.”

Axel stared at him. “You…you were there?” he whispered unsteadily. “Angel…knows?”

“Yeah,” Dane swallowed hard and wiped his eyes. “When he found out…that’s when I almost lost him.”

Axel’s eyes swam. “But he…forgave you?”

He nodded. “The night we came to the apartment…and I saved him from Wade. Somehow it helped lay the past to rest and…and he was able to forgive me.” He closed his eyes. “But forgiving myself was the battle. But one that he helped me win…simply by loving me.” His eyes opened and tears slid down his cheeks. “If he forgives someone, Axel…it’s for real. You don’t have to worry about the past pushing back in and stealing away your redemption.” He cupped Axel’s head. “If you need to be angry at Clint right now, then be angry. Sometimes we need that, to help us cope. But don’t push Angel away, or Maddy.” He drew Axel closer and kissed his hair. “Or me.” He smiled softly and added, “Or Jonah.”

Jonah
. Axel already missed him terribly. But how could he look at the pup every day and not relive that moment when Clint gave him Jonah? The wound was too fresh.

“Do you think…” he whispered thickly, “…That Angel or Maddy could keep him for a little while?” His chin trembled and he leaned against Dane. “Just a little while and then…then I’ll take him back. I just…can’t right now.”

Dane hugged him and touched his lips to his head. “Of course,” he murmured. “I understand.” The man’s comforting arms were reminiscent of Clint’s embrace, and Axel wilted against him, sobbing quietly. Dane held him tighter. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered against his hair. “You’re going to be okay. I promise, little brother.”

♦

The car idled stationary on the shoulder of the road. Clint gripped the steering wheel, squeezing harder and tighter as an ache began to wind up his forearms and higher into his shoulders. He’d barely made it out of the city before he was forced to pull over as a fit of shakes hit him stronger than he had experienced in nearly twenty-five years.

“Fuck.” he choked, his jaw clenched. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed the shakes to pass. They slowly began to fade, but in their wake came a churning nausea. Clint shoved open his door quickly and threw up on the gravel shoulder. He coughed and spit, his eyes bleary as he stared at the soiled ground. He could barely remember the last time he’d vomited –about the same time he’s last succumbed to such a severe fit of the shakes.

He spit again then opened a half empty bottle of water and rinsed out his mouth before closing the door again. He sagged back against the seat and stared at the roof of the car, his breath quick, uneven. His chest squeezed with an ache that threatened to asphyxiate him.

You said you were mine.

His eyes closed as the pain inside mounted.

Please…stay.

Clint opened his eyes slowly and warm tears seeped down his temples. He straightened and stared out the front windshield as his tears changed course and rolled down his cheeks. He wiped them away and cleared his throat.