Cowboy Gangster 03 - Outlaws of Love (9 page)

Don’t you think I wish it was that easy? That I could take back every fucking word that ripped holes in Axel’s heart?

“I’m sorry, Cory,” he whispered, his throat working as his heart weighed heavy in his chest. “But it doesn’t always work that way. I did what I had to do.”

Cory groaned loud and shoved his hands through his hair. “Why are you so fucking
stubborn?
”

“It isn’t stubbornness, Corrigan,” he murmured. “It’s cold hard reality.” The words felt as heavy as his heart, but he spoke true. And once Cory understood the facts surrounding Axel’s assault in the alley…he would see the truth in Clint’s words as well.

♦

“Do you really think it’s okay for me to come back?” Angel stood outside Axel’s apartment door, hesitant to knock. Axel had been emphatic earlier about Angel staying away.

Gabe squeezed his shoulder. “Dane wouldn’t have said it was okay if it wasn’t.”

He was glad Gabe had offered to come along. Dane was there, but it took some courage for Angel to make the trip back to the apartment. His mind had clogged with doubts. Did Axel
really
want him to come back –or was he just telling Dane what Dane wanted to hear?

Sliding his arm around Angel’s shoulders, Gabe leaned past him and knocked on the door.

Dane opened from the other side and immediately grabbed Angel, pulling him into his arms, hugging him so tight that Angel gasped. “I love you,” Dane whispered in his ear, a tremor to his voice. He squeezed tighter for a brief moment, forcing the air from Angel’s body, and then released him. There was a quiet anguish in his eyes when he drew back and for a split second, Angel felt a cold dread; it was the same anguish he’d seen in the man’s eyes when he was still caught in the pain of the past. But it took only a moment for Angel to realize this was different, and all he’d done to help Dane heal hadn’t been in vain.

“I love you, too,” Angel murmured and lightly gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him close again. He leaned up and kissed Dane’s mouth. The man enveloped him in another hug and deepened the kiss.

“No fair,” Gabe grumbled. “Where’s my kiss?”

Dane withdrew and groaned with a roll of his eyes and reached for Gabe, squashing Angel between them as he cupped the back of Gabe’s neck and kissed him on the lips. “Satisfied?”

Angel twisted his head and looked up at Gabe with a grin.

“Fuck,” Gabe snorted. “You know it takes a hell of lot more than a kiss to satisfy me.” He licked his lips and smiled. “Besides, I was talking to Angel, not you.”

“Well,” Dane smiled slyly. “To get to Angel…you’re going to have to go through me.”

Gabe looked him up and down. “Go
through
you, huh? Is that an invitation?”

“Hey,” Angel nudged Gabe. “That’s
my
boyfriend –my
fiancé
–you’re talking about going through.” He shot him a mock glare. “Just back off, buddy.”

“He started it,” Gabe scowled.

“That’s mature,” Dane said dryly and led Angel into the apartment.

Gabe followed. “That’s me,” he chuckled. “The mature one of the family.”

The banter between the men provided levity and Angel needed that. He looked around the apartment but didn’t see Axel. “Where is Axel?”

“In his room,” Dane said. “He wants to talk to you alone for a minute. You can go ahead and go on back.”

Angel hesitated and glanced toward the hall.

“It’s okay, babe,” Dane assured softly.

Angel nodded slowly and left the living room. He walked anxiously to the bedroom door, faltered then knocked lightly. “Axel?”

“Come in,” Axel said from inside, his voice low, thick.

Angel entered the room and closed the door quietly behind him. “Dane said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Axel whispered. He was sitting in the same place as before on the edge of the bed. Clint’s skull buckle was gripped in his hands, the belt straps hanging loose. Axel stared blankly at the buckle, his thumbs absently following the contours of the skull faces. He raised his head then scooted over a little, making room on the bed, and motioned Angel to sit.

Angel sank down beside him and waited for him to speak.

“I’m sorry,” Axel said thickly. His eyes remained on the buckle. “About earlier. I shouldn’t have…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Angel told him. “I understand.”

Tears began to glisten in Axel’s eyes. “Why do you like me?” he whispered, his throat working. “Why would…why would you and Maddy ever want me for a brother?” He swallowed hard as the tears formed a shimmering wall before his eyes. “How do you…get past the things I did.” His eyes closed slowly, briefly, squeezing out teardrops. “The things I
didn’t
do.”

“We were all three victims, Axel,” Angel murmured. His throat knotted and heart ached as he watched the same hurt and anguish and guilt resonate on Axel’s face, that he’d seen so clearly on Dane’s not so long ago. “You were living in a hostile environment and just…trying to survive.”

“That’s no excuse,” Axel trembled, a quiet sob lodging in his throat. He turned his eyes on Angel, tears running down his cheeks. “Why don’t you hate me?”

Angel stared at him. “Because you were our brother first,” he whispered as his vision blurred. “Before the other. I remember the boy who gave us his blanket and pillow the first night we came to our new home. And the boy who left the light on because Maddy was scared of the dark.” Angel swallowed thickly. “And who played with us when you brought home the puppy.”

Axel lowered his eyes to the buckle again, his face streaked.

“And I remember…” Angel’s voice trembled. “…How we didn’t ever have much to eat, and Wade would take food from our plates. And we would go to bed still hungry. But I remember that even though you didn’t have very much to eat either, you would sneak some of your food into the bedroom and give it to us.”

Axel wiped his face with a shaky hand. “You…you remember that?”

“I remember everything you did that made us feel like we weren’t alone,” Angel whispered. He touched Axel’s arm tentatively. “You just got lost for a while. Who wouldn’t? But you’re not lost anymore. You’re home…with your family.”

Fresh tears welled in Axel’s eyes. “Home…” His chin trembled as he stared at the buckle, a new anguish shadowing his face. He licked his lips slowly. “Is…Jonah okay?”

Angel’s chest squeezed with emotion. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I left him at Max’s. Maddy will take care of him until you want me to bring him back.”

Axel bit his lip as his chin quavered. “I didn’t mean it.” His breath shuddered up his throat and he gripped the buckle tighter. “I didn’t mean it when I said that…that I didn’t love him. Or that…” Sobs gripped him and he ducked his head as he pressed the metal buckle to his face. “…I didn’t ever want him back.” He cried harder, his tears weaving through the grooves of the skull buckle. “I do…I want him back, Angel…so bad.”

“I know,” Angel choked on a soft cry and hugged him as the true depths of Axel’s pain surged through into Angel’s heart. “I know you do.”

♦

“Do you have any idea what the hell is going on with Clint?” Dane asked. “Does this have to do with those men who assaulted Axel?”

Gabe shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ll try to locate him and see what I can find out. I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting him to walk out on Axel. Not after what I saw at the club yesterday.”

“Exactly,” Dane said. “But him leaving totally fucked Axel up. He ripped his heart out.”

“Yeah,” Gabe whispered. “Know how that feels. Ain’t no fucking picnic.”

“No.” A remnant of the pain from Gabe and Cole’s fallout lingered behind the man’s baby blues. And Dane suspected some of his own pain from nearly losing Angel forever still hovered behind his gaze as well. He wondered if that depth of hurt ever fully healed. But maybe that wasn’t always a bad thing. Retaining a sliver of the pain reminded a person how blessed they were to have their love back in their life, and how precious it was.

“You and I, and Cole, all need to have a talk with Clint,” Gabe said. “We could all be at risk and we need to know everything that he knows. If some rogue motherfucker hurts anyone in our family, I swear to God there will be nothing left of him to recognize or identify.”

“No fuck,” Dane muttered. “We need to speak to Abel and Devlin, and Caleb and Samuel. Give them the heads up to watch their backs.”

“Yes. We’re not taking any fucking chances. Once we speak to Clint, we need to get everyone over to Max’s and have us a serious family meeting.”

The bedroom door opened and Dane looked at Gabe. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Gabe nodded.

Angel and Axel came down the hall and into the living room. It was evident they had both been crying. Dane touched Angel’s damp face. “You boys okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Angel murmured.

Glancing between them, Dane said, “I was thinking…maybe Axel could come to work at the club.” He looked at the young man. “Do you think you might like that?”

“Doing what?” Axel asked uncertainly.

“Just helping out around the club.” He chuckled. “There’s plenty of jobs that don’t require you stripping down and shaking your booty on stage.” He winked. “Although you might just like it if you tried it.”

Axel smiled and shook his head. “No…I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable doing that.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” Gabe spoke up. “It’s especially fun when you’re dancing with another hot, sweaty boy up there, the crowd throwing money at you and screaming for more. Quite the rush.”

Laughing softly, Axel shook his head again. “I don’t think so.” He shrugged. “I can’t dance, anyway.”

“Lots of boys at the club who love to teach you,” Gabe flicked an eyebrow.

“Uh…no,” Axel smiled.

“But you’ll still come to work there, right?” Angel asked.

“Uh…” Axle glanced between the three of them. “I guess so. I still need to call in and officially quit my delivery job, but yeah…I would rather work at the club.”

“Great,” Dane smiled. “We’ll talk to Max tomorrow and see what he can set you up with.”

Until they knew what and who they were dealing with, they needed Axel where they could keep an eye on him even during work hours. It seemed odd to Dane that Clint would walk out on Axel immediately after a threat was presented.

What the hell was going on inside the cowboy’s head?

♦

“There’s more to it, Corrigan.” Clint raked at his hair, every muscle in his body strained with tension. “I jeopardized Axel’s life just by being in it. Our worlds don’t mix.”

Cory stared at him. “How did you jeopardize his life?”

“Those men,” Clint spoke low, seizing Cory’s eyes. “The ones you brought in, who assaulted Axel…” He released a tight breath. “It wasn’t a random attack. They were set on Axel. Someone out there
hired
them to…” His lips stretched taut as a fire burned his blood. “…Take Axel out.
Snuff
him.”

“What?” Cory’s eyes widened and darkened with fear. “They said that?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re sure they were telling the truth?” Cory asked. “Not just trying to save their own asses?”

Clint slowly rubbed his mouth, his fingertips dragging over the thin, coarse stubble along his jaw. “They were fully aware that
nothing
could save their asses.”

“Did they give up his identity?”

“They didn’t know who he was,” Clint said. “And that much I believe. This fucker…he’s too smart to reveal himself to a couple of street thugs.”

Frowning, Cary sagged back against the pillow. “Why Axel?”

“I think it was a personal hit,” Clint murmured. “Against me.”

“Personal…” Cory swallowed tightly. “Do you think it’s connected to what happened to me and Shay?”

“I don’t know,” Clint admitted. “But it feels connected.”

“So someone out there has a personal vendetta against you?”

Lifting an eyebrow, Clint muttered, “Is that so hard to believe?”

Cory shifted and his face pinched. “Could it be one of Quinton’s men?”

“Ray was the greatest threat out of that bunch,” Clint said. “And you took care of him.”

“So who? You mentioned the Albanians. You think they’re out for revenge after all this time?”

Clint shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know. But we can’t afford to disregard any possibility. Even the possibility that it could be linked to Quint, though that would be my last guess. This is too…thought out and organized. Quint’s men weren’t that smart. The Albanians –yes.”

Exhaling unsteadily, Cory closed his eyes and slid one hand through his hair.

Clint watched him, feeling the punch of how close they’d come to losing Cory. It hurt like fucking hell to lose Shay. If Cory had died as well…Clint was certain he would have gone savage on the world. Could he blame Cochise for his present state of mind? Whether the Egyptian openly admitted it or not, the boy had been like a son to him…as Cory was to Clint. In truth, it was a wonder the man was holding it together at all.

“Maybe we should discuss this later,” Clint murmured. “You need your rest.”

“No, I’m…” Cory sighed and opened his eyes. “I’m fine.” He looked at Clint. “Why would you leave Axel if he’s in danger?”

It hurt too fucking much to talk about Axel, to think about him. “Me
being
there put him in danger,” he said low. “If he’s no one of importance in my life, then he’s safe.”