Cowboys Mine (13 page)

“I wasn’t first, but Bessie placed. We got a blue
ribbon.” She reached in her shirt pocket and pulled out her prize, waggling it
out for him. When he reached her, he didn’t take the ribbon, but rather pulled
her into a tight hug. Her father’s familiar rustic scent made her feel safe. She
closed her eyes, a tear slipping out without warning.

“I missed you, Eva. I missed my sweet girl.” He didn’t
let her go, as if the physical connection was all they had left. She didn’t
want things to change with her family, just as much as she knew things had to
change if she wanted Colton and North in her life.

“Eva!” Her mother came running across the yard, a tea
towel still in her hand. She stole Eva from her father, hugging and kissing her
like she’d been gone a year not a week. “I’m so happy you’re home. Where’re the
boys at? Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Gone home I guess.”

“What’s this?” Her mother noticed the blue ribbon in
her hand. She took it, holding it up to the light to read. “You won a ribbon! My
little Eva raised a prized cow all by herself.”

She knew her mother would probably mount it amongst
the family photos next to the fireplace. It was good to be home. Her parents
were always loving and supportive, but just how deep did their support reach? Did
they even realize she wasn’t a child anymore?

After the reunion, she continued to offload her prize
cow and settle her in the barn with Ruby. She took off her cowboy hat and ran a
hand through her hair. The sun was close to setting, the clouds turning shades
of red, orange, and pink. She began to think about the brothers again. Should
she go over to offer a helping hand? They had a ton of work to get caught up
since missing a week. She decided it would be best to stay away after her last
unannounced visit ended disastrously. Eva hoped things were okay for them at
home, because she could never imagine the hell they were going through.

****

North slammed his truck door shut. “Why’d you take off
so fast? We didn’t even get to see Mr. Ford.”

Colton was already walking ahead, trying to avoid him.
“I’m not going to be a two-face. I’ll see him when there’re no secrets between
us.”

“It would be better coming from us than Eva, don’t you
think?”

“Hell no. She’d kill us if we said a thing. You know how
she is.”

North caught up with his brother. There was a quiet,
nervous tension between them because neither of them knew what to expect when
they opened the door to their house. The lights were off inside despite the sun
lowering on the horizon. It gave North an uneasy feeling. He immediately staked
out the living room, noting some overturned furniture. The kitchen counter was
full of dirty dishes and the fridge wasn’t closed tight, creating a strip of
light across the laminate.

“Ma?” he called out.

“I’ll check her room,” said Colton.

North did a quick sweep of the other rooms and
bathroom, not finding their mother. Since they’d taken the keys and ensured she
had no pills to abuse, it seemed impossible for her to get in any trouble. But
when Colt screamed for him, he knew she must have found a way to support her
habit.

“What’s the matter?” he asked after bounding into her
bedroom. She was passed out across her bed, several open pill bottles on her
night side table. “Shit, how the hell did she get a hold of those?”

“She must have hid them. Or someone brought them here.”

“She breathing?”

“Her pulse is fine. She’s just out cold,” said Colton.
“At least she’s been eating and getting up.”

North shook his head and stormed out of the room. He
crossed his arms and leaned against the wall in the hallway waiting for Colt.
After his twin closed the door, he didn’t hold back. “At least she’s been
eating? She did nothing but get high all week, Colt. I’m sick and tired of
fucking babysitting her. She’s not getting better and she doesn’t want to. The
only way she’ll quit is when she stops breathing.”

“She’s still our mother.”

“
How?
How is
she our mother anymore? Does she do a lick of work around the house? Does she
stay sober for more than a damn minute? Does she even give two shits about us?”

“I can’t deal with this right now,” said Colton,
putting a hand to each side of his head. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

He watched his twin walk down the hall to his room.
North felt pumped up on adrenaline and ready to blow a gasket. He couldn’t take
any more of the same trials. There was only so much a man could take before he
reached his breaking point.

He called out. “If she doesn’t take Aunt Laura’s offer
soon, I’ll fucking check her into rehab myself!”

North stopped to catch his breath. His first instinct
was to rush over to Eva’s house, to slip into her window and drown in her
sweetness. He was addicted to forgetting his pain. But he’d ruined that refuge
for himself by tainting Eva’s innocence and building a wall between them and
the Ford family. Until Eva explained their new relationship, it would be hard
to face the family again. If their news wasn’t accepted, he might never see Eva
or the Fords again. That would be indigestible, just the thought making his
stomach queasy.

He crashed onto his bed and stared up at the
water-stained ceiling. What was Eva doing now? When he closed his eyes he could
see the tin stars dangling from the ceiling, smell her sweet shampoo, and feel
the plushness of her comforter.

Fuck, he felt trapped and lonely. These walls weren’t
a home, but a prison.

North rummaged in the top drawer of his night side
table, pulling out a small stack of pictures. He sifted through them as he lay
on his back. There were plenty of Eva throughout the years, some with the three
of them, and one with just North and Eva sitting on a fence eating watermelon.

He had a couple of his father from before he left.
There were many times he’d been tempted to burn them, and even Colton didn’t
know he kept them. He wasn’t sure if he was holding onto them for the physical
memory of the man or if he enjoyed torturing himself.

North rolled to his side when he flipped to a picture
of his mother. She looked so happy. That was a long time ago. Her face wasn’t
gaunt and her hair was brushed neatly off her face. He stared at it. Maybe if
he looked long enough he could will his mother into the woman she once was.

He set the pictures back in the drawer. At this point,
she’d end up killing herself if they didn’t intervene. Colton thought he was
doing their mother a favor by hiding the truth and covering up her frequent
episodes. It only encouraged her self-destructive cycle. The answer was to call
their Aunt Laura and ask her to help. She lived alone in Newcaster, a couple
hours from them. It was a larger city with many resources and facilities made
to help addicts. Living on the old ranch filled with memories of her love and
loss only added to her sickness. Their mother needed a change of scenery, a
fresh start in life before it was too late.

Just as North realized the same applied to him.

****

Eva went over her list one last time. Her father
wanted definitive numbers for the big corn roast coming up in a week. This
would be the biggest yet. Although she’d been overly excited about the event
before leaving for Chester, it was difficult to inspire herself now. It had
been a week since they’d come home and she hadn’t seen Colton or North once. Each
day felt like a lifetime, her zest for life slowly slipping away. Part of her
wondered if they wanted to write her off, but in her heart she knew they were
waiting on her. She was expected to announce their relationship to her old-fashioned
parents. It chilled her to the bone just thinking about it. Every day she’d
promise herself she’d do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never came.

Eva found her dad in the barn, unsaddling his riding
gelding. Dust motes danced in the rays of light peeking in through the knots in
the wood. It smelled familiar of hay and manure.

“I have the list,” she said.

He turned to her, staring for a few long moments
before beckoning her closer with a crooked finger. “Something you’re not
telling me?”

She shook her head. “Why would you ask?”

“Well, for one, it’s the first week the McReed twins
haven’t offered to help with the cattle or show up for a meal. Seems odd to me.”

Her nerves flared. “I’m sure they’re just busy getting
all caught up.”

He tilted his head as he studied her. She felt like
glass—fragile and transparent. He hated it when she lied. Most of her
punishments had been for lying, and her heart beat double time under his
suspicious glare.

“But they’ll be at the corn roast, no?”

“Of course. I mean, I don’t see why not.”

He lifted up her chin. “You haven’t been yourself
since coming back from Chester, Eva. You look…sad. I don’t like it.

She wanted to offer him part of the truth because she
needed his love and acceptance, now more than ever. “I went to the city for a
lot more than a ribbon. I wanted to show you I was capable, to show you I’m not
just a child anymore.”

Her father smiled. He always had a sense about people,
able to look past the exterior to the goodness within. It was one of the
reasons she loved him so much.

“You’ll always be
my
child, Eva.” He pulled her into a tight embrace as he petted her hair. “But I’m
also proud of the young woman you’ve become. I never doubted you, never saw you
as incapable. I’m just a foolish daddy worried too much about his baby girl.”

“You’re not foolish,” she cried. Her tears soaked his
plaid shirt. They came seemingly out of nowhere. She’d been a basket case since
coming home because she knew what had to be done.

“I need to remember you’re nearly twenty-three, not
ten. It won’t be long until you’re ready to start your own family, and I’ll be
beside you every step of the way. Next time I mess up, you make sure to give me
a swift kick.” He cupped her face and kissed each of her closed eyelids moist
from tears. “No more crying now. We have a corn roast to plan, and I’m going to
do something a little extra special for you this year.”

She smiled up at him. “Thank you, daddy.”

Eva started to return to the house but decided she
couldn’t sit idle any longer. She needed to know what Colton and North were
thinking. God, she needed to see them. It was torturous being separated for so
long. She didn’t even realize how engrained they were in her life until they
were no longer in it.

She mounted her Palomino mare and rode across the
fields to the McReed farm. Their little bungalow came into view, but the
tractor in the distance caught her eye next. She steered her horse to the left
and galloped across the partially plowed barley fields. The twins kept her
father’s cattle in hay for most of the winter.

When she neared, she knew it was Colton in the
tractor. The sunlight made the blond highlights in his hair appear like rays of
gold. She rode a wide circle around his tractor to signal him to cut the
engine. Growing up on a working farm, she knew better than to risk life and
limb around the deadly blades of farming equipment.

The rumble of the tractor wound down until silence
returned to the morning. She dismounted her horse and rushed over to see
Colton. Her spirits lifted just being near him, but he didn’t greet her like he
usually did. Colton didn’t get off his seat and his face remained stoic.

She swallowed hard, not even attempting to climb up
into the cab like she usually did. “Hi,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”

He looked straight ahead, not even turning to
acknowledge her. “You tell your dad about us yet?”

“Not yet,” she said. Eva knew she’d been stalling all
week. It wasn’t an easy thing to do. She had to tell her parents that she
planned to spend the rest of her life with not one, but two men. It was unheard
of but also the only answer for her. “I was thinking maybe after the corn
roast.”

“Sure, Eva.” Then he turned to face her, his emotions
guarded. “I don’t think you ever plan on telling him.”

“It’s not exactly simple. Have you told your mother?”

“Our mother’s gone. She left two days ago.”

Eva felt like a monster for having mentioned Karen
McReed in the first place when it was only to take the focus off herself. “What
do you mean, Colt?”

“I mean she’s fucking gone. It’s the story of my life,
didn’t you know that? People leave. I’m over it.” He started up the tractor
again, the sudden noise spooking her horse. “And I expect no less from you,
baby girl.”

She watched him drive away.

Eva felt numb. Part of her wanted to chase after
Colton. She wanted to apologize, to tell him she was different than all the
people who’d hurt him. That she loved him. This was the first time he’d ever
raised his voice at her. He’d always been kind and patient, and never brushed
her off. Maybe she’d pushed the brothers away for good.

When she turned around, she could only see the distant
image of her horse as it headed back home without her. Eva had a long walk
ahead of her.