Crash (21 page)

I left Jessica as she stammered a reply and entered my room, slamming the door shut. I buried myself under the covers of my soft bed and tried to close my eyes, but a vicious cycle of images passed through my head like a slideshow: the nude pictures, Ben, William in handcuffs, him breaking up with me, the paparazzi outside his apartment, and Jessica and Luke waiting for me in the kitchen with a bottle of champagne.

As I thought of them, I felt a fresh wave of remorse and shame. They had done nothing but support me. Luke posted bail for William and they planned to celebrate my new job with me, but how could I celebrate when William was suffering?

We bonded so much on the trip
. It was the best time of my life, but reflecting on it now was like remembering someone who died. I bundled the thick comforter near my face and grimaced against the sadness thickening my throat. He did so much for me.
He got me this job, he made me feel better about myself, and he helped me confront Ben
.

I thought hard about what I had done for him in return, but couldn’t come up with anything. All I did was ruin his life.
No wonder he broke up with me
.

I wanted to help him, a desperate voice inside me insisted. Maybe I should have tried harder.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with my eyes swollen shut with dried tears. I rolled out of bed and grabbed my phone, hoping for a text from Will or a missed call—nothing.
He really is done with me.

I hurled the phone to the carpeted floor, which absorbed the force of my throw harmlessly. A swell of rage burst through my limbs and I wanted to smash the phone with my feet. Ben was the one who deserved this. I took it and threw it across the room with a small scream but I only felt disappointment when it struck the wall, leaving a small dent in the plaster.

Jessica was in the kitchen when I emerged from my bedroom. Her delicate wisps of hair were caught into a severe ponytail and she looked at me and flinched, as if she expected me to throw her across the room, too. I couldn’t help but notice the spotless floor.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I said baldly.

She nodded. “It’s fine. You’re pissed. I would be too.”

“I need to apologize to Luke, too. He’s been nothing but helpful to me.” I sank down at one of the metal chairs surrounding the kitchen table and heaved a great sigh. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on.”

“For starters, you could press charges against Ben.”

I snorted. “With what evidence? And money? The fucking bastard won. He got what he wanted, he drove us apart.”

It should have been easy to move on from a three-week relationship, but I grew way too attached to him during those weeks and there was the fact that I never been happier in my life. I never felt so completely satisfied with someone. Still, I tried to seize upon the advice that I always gave to other people.

Oh well, you’ll find someone else. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Only there weren’t any that interested me. I had done nothing wrong. It ended because of Ben.

No, it ended because of Will. He doesn’t want you.

“Maybe you should go back to his apartment,” she suggested.

I shook my head. “No, that’s pathetic. If he doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want me. Begging won’t help my cause.”

“I’m not talking about begging. I’m talking about just being there for him, even if you’re not in a relationship.”

“I don’t know.” I grabbed my laptop from my room and collapsed onto the couch, reading my work emails, which largely consisted an introduction from HR. I turned on the TV for a distraction.

Bury yourself in work. Don’t think about it.

The only reason I had this job was because of Will.

Jessica sat at the table. Every so often, she would give me an unhappy look as if my misery infected her.

I half-listened to the TV as I drafted a profanity-laden email to Ben that I probably wouldn’t send. There was something about an exclusive report and I almost wanted to change the channel.
I’m so sick of the news
.

“Natalie!” Jessica gasped.

A familiar voice spoke from the TV and I lifted my head from the laptop, bewildered. William stood in front of his apartment dressed in a suit. He looked—

“Oh my God. He looks terrible!” Jessica clapped her hands in front of her mouth and her face went red. “Sorry.”

He hadn’t shaved for at least five days and his face was skull-like. Bloodshot eyes looked directly into the camera without blinking.

“He looks like he’s going to throw up or collapse.”

“Shh!” I hissed.

“Several years ago I was involved in a fatal DUI accident. My friend, Daniel Martinez, was driving my car.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Three people were killed: Julian Metsky, Michelle Ramos, and James Ramos. I think of them every day. Words cannot express how much I regret my actions that night and if I could give up my life to return the victims back to their families, I would do it in a heartbeat.

“It has come to my attention that I am completely incapable of moving past the accident, and I would like to take this opportunity to give my resignation to Pardini Worldwide.”

With that, William turned around and reentered his apartment, ignoring the scream of questions that exploded the moment he stepped away from the microphones.

“Oh my God,” I moaned. “He’s resigning?”

Will, what are you doing?

Jessica removed her hands from her mouth. “His father won’t be happy.”

My heart pounded as I watched him disappear behind the door. “I can’t believe he just did that.”

It’s not your problem anymore.

But there was no way I could ignore what just happened. Maybe I needed to do something to ignore the pain building up in my chest. I didn’t want to think about Will retreating into his own misery and wasting away. I needed to do something.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

“To see Ben,” I muttered as I ran into my room. I opened my laptop and clicked on the email Will sent me days ago. Attached to the email were screenshots. They weren’t damning evidence on their own, but if I had more information…

“What?” Jessica’s scream of outrage followed me into the room. She stood at the doorway, her hands on her hips. “Did I hear you correctly? You’re not fucking going!”

“I’m going to get him to drop the charges against Will.” I waved the printed screenshots at her. “If he doesn’t, I’ll go full steam ahead.”

“And how easy do you think it’ll be for him to accuse you of blackmailing him, because that’s what this is! Don’t be stupid!”

“I DON’T CARE!” I stood up and the printed pictures floated to the floor, sliding out of my grasp.

Jessica stumbled back from the force of my voice. “I know that you’re angry, but think, Natalie. If you go charging off to Ben’s house again, you’ll only dig yourself a bigger hole.”

Frustration was bleeding into anger. Why couldn’t she understand? I looked at her calm face and wanted to shatter it. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing!”

“No,” she agreed. “You can’t.” Jessica heaved a sigh. “I’m probably going to regret this, but I’ll come with you.”

“I don’t want to get anyone else in trouble. Besides, you two hate each other. It’s just asking for trouble.”

“You need someone with a cool head to come with you to stop you from doing anything stupid.”

Whatever. “I’m leaving now.” Grabbing my purse and keys, I swept past Jessica who hurried behind me.

* * *

“We could still head back,” Jessica suggested.

I shook my head firmly and raised my fist to the door, which was thankfully closed.

“He might not even answer. Once he sees you, he’ll just—”

My fist pounded against the wood to drown out her protests. I brushed aside her sigh of anger and waited in front of the door, willing myself to be calm and not lose my head. Several minutes passed, but I kept knocking on the door.

“He’s not coming. Let’s go,” she pleaded.

A piercing pain shot through my heart as the door cracked open, revealing a tall man. I was pleased to see tape over the bridge of Ben’s nose.
Looks like Will broke it. Good.

“You’re not supposed to be here. If you want to say something to me, you can contact my lawyer.”

He smirked and shut the door, but I wedged my foot in between before he could close it.

“I’ll also be sure to contact your lawyer with the evidence that you put those pictures online. I’m willing to settle this now without pressing charges.”

Ben’s smirk faltered. “You’re bluffing.”

“Okay,” I quipped, removing my foot. “I’ll leave since you’re not interested.”

Jessica looked at me in bewilderment as I turned around to descend the stairs. One step. Two steps.
Any moment now.

“Hold on.” His baritone voice called out to me, much clearer than before.

I buried the smile on my face before turning around with a neutral expression, pleased to see that Jessica lost her shocked expression. Ben stood on the patio of his brownstone, looking at Jessica with an ugly look.

“You.”

The way he said it made me think of cockroaches. Jessica returned the look, straightening her back.

“Me.”

“Are you willing to talk?” It was strange how powerful I felt, even as I looked up at him. His eyes flicked back and forth, unsure, cautious. I had all the cards; I just had to not screw this up.

“Fine. Come inside.” He stepped aside to allow us into his dark apartment.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jessica said quickly. “I’ve no intention of being sent to jail for whatever trumped up charge you’re dreaming of accusing me.”

The smile returned to his face. “Whatever.” He zeroed in on me. “Now what is it that you want?”

My hands tightened around the pictures I held. “I want you to drop the lawsuit and the charges against Will. In return, I won’t ruin your career by taking this evidence to the police.”

His thick arms folded across his chest, his eyes flicking from Jessica, the paper, and me. “What evidence?”

Now don’t screw this up.
I kept my eyes trained on his, my eyes watering from not blinking. I held them out and he took them, another infuriating smile forming on his face.

“Is this all you’ve got? Screen captures?” He shook his head and peered at them. “You know, these aren’t the most flattering pictures of you.”

Ignoring the barb, I forced a harsh laugh of my own. “Oh, that’s not all. Will has a ton of private investigators and computer savvy people at his disposal. We’ve already matched your IP address to the last login on your computer, and I already know that you emailed yourself the pictures from your phone.”

None of that was true, of course, but as the last word fell from my lips his face visibly whitened.
Bingo.

“And I’m pretty sure I can afford the best lawyers what with my boyfriend being rich and all.”

“I won’t drop the charges against Will. He attacked me in my own home—”

“After you attacked him first!” It was hard looking at him. Pain still throbbed in my chest from what he had done to me. I couldn’t even see him anymore. I didn’t recognize this bitter, vile person who somehow took over Ben’s body.

“Says who? I have two police officers who arrived on scene—”

“Actually, they got there while you were fighting. I’m the only witness. You know that the judge will throw this case out, anyways. You have no proof, but I do.”

Fury worked all over his face as he twisted his mouth and thought through everything I said. He knows I’m right. He won’t risk ruining his career. Jessica caught my eye and flashed a quick, triumphant smirk.

“All right, I’ll drop the charges and the lawsuit, but you better hold up your end.” His mouth twisted with hatred, he spat on the ground.

My eyes narrowed. “You’ll contact his lawyer tonight. If I don’t hear about this from Will, the deal’s off.”

I stared into his blue orbs until I knew he understood and turned away from the man who wrecked Will’s life. It was hard—really hard—not to run back up the stairs and knee him in the balls a second time, but I desperately wanted this to work. A tiny pathetic part of me hoped that Will would call me when he heard the news.

We closed the doors to my car and sat there in silence for a few moments. I heard Jessica’s head turn against the headrest.

“That was awesome. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks.” My facial muscles somehow lifted into a smile. It was almost like I forgot how to do it.

“Now what?” she prompted me.

The car roared to life as I turned the ignition. The possibilities seemed endless—I had outsmarted the criminal defense lawyer who I used to look up to with a mixture of devotion and awe. He was the man who my parents loved, who had somehow gained their approval.

What did they know? He was just an idiot.

“Let’s get a drink.”

“Yeah, sounds good!”

Chapter 11

The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache and no memory of how I got into bed. Moaning, I sat up and blinked blearily at the sunlight pouring through the blinds. My mouth felt as dry as sandpaper and my eyeballs felt as though they had been dipped in acid.

Ugh. Hangover.

I peeked Jessica’s bedroom, but she was not there. I wandered from room to room, searching for her, but it was clear that she had taken her things and left the apartment, probably to stay at Luke’s house for the weekend.

Feeling lonely, I sat in a rickety chair at my kitchen table, listening to the ticking clock hanging on the wall, and slowly drank a tall glass of water as I watched my phone.

I’ve never felt so pathetic and alone in my life.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and DO something.

Do what? What could I do to help Will that I hadn’t tried already? I dragged my laptop to the kitchen and scrolled through the comments section on an article at CNN about the DUI fiasco:

Rehab for a DUI? What an insult to the victims’ families.