Crazy Little Thing Called Love (36 page)

“Go. Enjoy.” She gave Riley a pointed look
that told him she hadn’t missed his defection to his brother, “I’m
going to hold you to that dance later buddy.”

He nodded and in a flash he and Maddie were
hand in hand heading towards the dance floor. She realized a moment
too late that letting Maddie go with Riley didn’t just leave her
alone. It left her with Zach.

He was standing too close. This close to him
he’d be able to hear her heart pound in her chest. This close she
could smell that distinctly Zach smell that made her belly tighten
in anticipation. This close her skin itched so she needed to get
away from him.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks. I have to drive home later.”

“Water’s a drink too.” One corner of his
mouth ticked up slightly, “Come on, I’ll get you a water at the
bar.”

He reached out and his big palm settled
against the small of her back. He touched her the same way he’d
touched her a hundred times. Only this time she flinched because
this time she’d fall apart if he touched her. This time his touch
made the aching a hundred thousand times worse and she couldn’t
keep it under her mask of cool.

“Blue…” His tone was lower, husky and it took
everything in her to pull away.

“Please don’t.” She shook her head and looked
away.

“Okay.” He nodded and removed his hand.

“I’m going to go dance. Excuse me.” She
turned on her heel and walked away from him as quickly as she could
despite the promise she’d made to herself that she wouldn’t
run.

Zach watched her pretty blond head walk away
from him and felt his anger pitch to the surface. She grabbed a
rough looking biker guy and the loser had the balls to slip his
hand around her hips as they walked out onto the dance floor. He
wanted to punch him, wanted to punch anything or anyone. He was so
far past calm he was seeing spots but he took a deep breath and
tried to be logical.

He hadn’t known she was going to be here. He
hadn’t known how he’d react the first time he was forced to see her
again. He hadn’t known his body would turn on him, that he’d break
out in a nervous sweat that his throat would burn with words he
couldn’t say. He hadn’t known it would feel like his entire
universe had just been demolished in one fell swoop when she turned
her back on him and walked away.

God she looked pretty. She always looked so
damn pretty. She was wearing another dress, one he hadn’t seen on
her before. She was wearing a shiny red dress that he’d never had
the pleasure of pushing up, of sliding his hands beneath to stroke
her ass and find out if she was wet for him beneath her panties.
God he wanted to though, wanted to right then and there, could
barely think of anything else.

Except for the one other thought that he
couldn’t push down, the one that told him the biker deserved a
warning about where his hands belonged and where they didn’t. His
hands didn’t belong anywhere near Bluebell, let alone on her warm,
smooth skin. The biker shouldn’t be touching her; nobody should be
touching her but him.

The biker’s hand dropped from her hip to the
curve of her ass and he heard her growl a warning and try to push
the guy away and he was already on the move. He stormed through the
crowd to get to her. He was going to murder the biker.

“I think this dance is over.” He growled as
he clutched a shoulder and pulled hard in the opposite
direction.

“What? Hey?” The guy groaned and tried to
shrug him off.

“Zach! Stop it!” Bluebell’s eyes went wide
and her mouth gaped open.

“Get off me bro. We were just dancing.” The
guy tried to shrug him off again so he increased the pressure and
held him a firm two feet away from where Bluebell was staring at
them in horror now.

“What you were just doing is trying to cop a
feel and the lady said no. Take it somewhere else.” His voice was
dangerously low, a growl and threat of violence.

“Zach! I said stop it.” Bluebell growled,
“Please. Stop.”

“Damn bro, let up. I’m going.”

“When the lady says no, it means no.” He
hissed.

“Zach! You’re scaring me. Stop it.”
Bluebell’s voice had changed to a low whisper and he felt her small
hand on his arm.

It was like being electrocuted. All the
synapses in his body hissed and died at the exact same time. Some
of the violent need to bash this guy’s face through the back of his
skull lessened and the buzzing in his ears lowered to a reasonable
level.

“I didn’t know she was your girl. Swear.” The
guy whined at the way his shoulder was twisted to nearly the
breaking point.

“Now you do. Beat it.” He released the guy
when he heard Bluebell’s gasp beside him.

He took a couple of deep breathes and tried
to think clearly. The rage made it impossible. He wanted to destroy
something. He needed a sledgehammer otherwise he’d start using his
fists. He needed a distraction, something to calm him down,
fast.

“Zach?” Bluebell’s voice caught his attention
and as he turned to her all the anger got caught up in a sea of
other emotions he couldn’t name. “Zach, you’re scaring me. Please
calm down.”

He’d scared her. Guilt coated his insides.
He’d never wanted her to see that side of him. Ever. He was still
shaking, still trying to swallow it down and beat it back. He’d
never wanted her to see his dark side but the guy had touched her
and he hadn’t been able to think of anything but getting her away
from him.

“I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, “I’m
sorry Bluebell. I’d never hurt you. Never. You have to know
that.”

“I do.” She nodded though her eyes remained
big and wary, “What can I do?”

That ache in his chest tightened. She was
offering to help? She’d seen him on the edge, the brink of becoming
a destructive force of nature and she wasn’t running away. She
wasn’t turning on him. She was comforting him despite everything
he’d done to show her he didn’t deserve her.

“What can I do to calm you down? You look
like you want to murder someone Zach.” Her eyes searched his face
until he looked away.

“I want to follow that guy outside and put my
fist through his face for ever daring to touch you. I want to keep
swinging until there’s nothing left but blood and bone and then I
want to just keep going.” He shook his head, “I’ve never wanted to
cause anyone that much harm.”

“Zach? What can I do?”

“Dance with me.” He knew instinctively that
touching her, holding her would calm him. He just needed to hold
her, know that she was okay but when he looked up quickly he saw
her wariness turn to real fear.

“I can’t.” She shook her head. “I… I want to
help you but I can’t do that.”

She knew he’d never physically harm her but
the fear didn’t come from that. He knew it. He knew he’d already
hurt her too deeply to deserve anything but her denial but he
couldn’t leave it at that. He couldn’t walk away without at least
apologizing so he did the most selfish thing he’d ever done in his
life. He did the exact thing he’d just threatened to rip the biker
apart for. He grabbed her before she could walk away.

“Zach…” She gasped his name as his fingers
closed around her wrist, “Please.”

Oh hell she was going to rip him apart. If
she said his name and begged him to let go he’d lose his mind. He’d
go crazy. Just thinking about her saying those words to him and it
not being on a breathy moan nearly destroyed him.

“I just want to apologize. Please hear me
out. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, it’ll kill me but I
won’t. I promise.” He let go of her and waited for her to turn and
walk away again.

He was holding his breath when she finally
nodded, “I’m walking out to my car. You have the two minutes it’ll
take to get there and then I’m leaving Zach. I’m leaving and you
aren’t going to follow me okay.”

“Deal.”

He followed as she turned on her heel and
headed for the door and he rushed after her, couldn’t let her out
of his sight, wanted to be close enough to see her reaction when he
said, “I never meant to hurt you Bluebell. I never wanted to hurt
you.”

She didn’t look up, in fact she kept her chin
to her chest, “I know. I know you never meant for any of it to
happen. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters.” He turned his hands
to fists to keep from dragging her to a stop, “And I’m sorry I
didn’t tell you about the ranch. I know you must think the worst of
me but it was never about the land. My brothers wanted it. They
asked me to talk to you a couple of days before your dad died but I
couldn’t bring myself to do it because I didn’t want to lose
you.”

She stopped so fast he ran into her backside
and scrambled to keep them both upright. He steadied her shoulders
but her hands shoved him away in the next instant. She turned
around and poked him in the chest so hard he actually stumbled
backwards though it might have been from the shock of the anger
shining in her bright blue eyes.

“You didn’t want to lose me?” She hissed, “I
was never yours to lose. I’m not your girl and I never was. You
made that perfectly clear. You had no right to say that in there.
No right.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry.” She growled, “You’re
sorry for the ranch. You’re sorry for hurting me. How about being
sorry for breaking my heart on the worst day of my life? I lost my
father and you the very same day. How about being sorry for
that?”

“I am. I’m sorry for all of it.”

The thing he was sorrier about than anything
was that she couldn’t stand his touch. He was so close all he had
to do was reach out and he couldn’t because he’d promised. He
couldn’t touch her because he couldn’t stand to see her flinch away
from him again. He couldn’t pull her close and lose himself in
her.

She shoved him, both hands against his chest
and he stepped back again. She was so mad, so angry. He didn’t want
to see her look at him like that, like he was nothing. He wanted
her to look at him like she used to, hated that he might never see
her look at him that way again.

“Sorry doesn’t make any of it okay.”

“I know.” He grabbed her wrist when she tried
to shove him again, “I know. Nothing is okay. I’m dying without you
Blue. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything. I miss you so
damn much.”

“Zach, please…” She tried to pull her wrist
away from him but she’d said the wrong thing. His name on her lips
in that low throaty tone, the fact she’d followed it up with
please, he couldn’t take it anymore. He lost his mind, went crazy.
It didn’t matter that every sane part of his brain said she was
begging him to let her go, what his body heard was simply begging
and he reacted like he always did.

He kissed her. Hard and heavy, on the lips
with every ounce of hunger and need he’d ever felt inside him. The
heat that was always simmering between them burst into a flash fire
and there was no holding back. He wasn’t in control anymore, wasn’t
in control of anything when it came to her. He had to touch her,
couldn’t even begin to let her go again, never again.

His heart beat too hard in his chest. Boom.
Boom. Boom. His head answered with a call of its own. Mine. Mine.
Mine. He’d never thought of himself as a possessive man but he knew
in that instant she belonged with him. She was his.

“Zach! No!” She shoved against his chest and
he stumbled backwards again in a haze. “Stop it. I won’t let you
hurt me anymore. I can’t.”

He couldn’t get enough air in his lungs to
make his brain work, “I’m not going to hurt you ever again.”

“Yes, you will.” She shook her head, “You
will if I let you but I won’t.”

She was already turning away from him. They’d
reached her car at some point during the fight. He hadn’t even
realized it. The door locks beeped and she reached for the handle.
He had a flashback to the first time he’d ever kissed her, ever
touched her. She’d run away from him then too but he wouldn’t let
her go this time. She was his.

He shoved his hand against the door, slamming
it back shut and she gasped and jumped back, “You said you loved
me.”

“I know what I said but I don’t want to love
you anymore.” She tilted her face up and he froze.

Tears streamed down her pretty cheeks. It was
like a knife to his chest. It shocked him so much to see her cry
that he took a step back. Bluebell never cried. She hadn’t cried
when he took her home and ended their relationship. She hadn’t
cried when she put her father in the ground.

She hadn’t cried until now. He’d made her
cry. He’d broken her.

“Please stay away from me. I can’t love you.
I can’t be around you until it goes away. Please just stop.”

He was in such a state of shock that he
didn’t reach for her again when she pulled the car door open and
slipped inside. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think anything except
that this was his fault. He’d hurt her, broken her down. He’d taken
a strong woman and made her cry.

His anger worked its way back to the surface
and this time it was directed inward. Real rage, real anger, the
kind that made him ball his fists and see spots. It was the kind of
anger that couldn’t be calmed, wouldn’t be dispersed. He had to
beat something up but the only one who deserved to be ripped apart
was him.

Blue looked around the master bedroom with a
mix of sadness and appreciation. She was still in the process of
moving her things into the big room. Arlene had taken care of
getting rid of the hospital equipment but when she’d offered to get
the oak furniture out of storage Blue hadn’t been able to say yes.
She wouldn’t hold onto her loss like her father had, never moving
forward. She might not need to keep moving physically but she had
to emotionally.

So she’d packed up her father’s things. Some
of it was in storage. Some of it she’d donated to the Goodwill.
Still other things lingered around her now. The vase she’d put the
bluebell flowers in for him had been her mother’s and it now sat on
her wrought iron nightstand. The photo of her parents on their
wedding day was on her dresser. Her Daddy’s Carter bible was in a
drawer as was her mother’s Montgomery belt.