Cross My Heart (25 page)

"There have been some… developments. I'll tell
you all about it when I see you." She hung up and went to find Janey.

An hour later Elyse and Janey were joyously greeted by
Paul and Liz in their Sacramento apartment. There were gifts of Swiss
musical toys for Janey and French perfume and handmade frilly lingerie
for Elyse. "For your honeymoon," Liz said with a teasing smile, and
Elyse bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

This had been Liz's first trip out of the country, and she
chatted nonstop about art galleries in Paris, pageantry in London and
gondola rides on the canals of Venice. It was late afternoon and Janey
was napping before she finally got to the question Elyse had been
dreading. "Now tell me about you and what you've been doing for the
past three weeks. I notice you're not wearing your ring yet. When are
you and Clint going to announce your engagement?"

Elyse hated to put a damper on her sister's enthusiasm,
but there was no way to avoid it. She braced herself before she spoke.
"There won't be an announcement. I've given Clint's ring back to him."

"What!" The exclamation rang from both Liz and Paul
simultaneously.

Paul was the first to recover. "Good Lord, Elyse, what
happened? You two were so happy together."

There was no way she could soften the truth. "Dinah
Jefferson is back."

Liz gasped. "No!"

Paul's sudden oath betrayed the depth of his shock. "Are
you saying that my idiot brother dropped you for
her
!"

Elyse shook her head. "Not exactly."

She told them about the Ogdens' party and Dinah's surprise
appearance. About Clint's illness, her quarrels with him and Dinah's
presence at Clint's house. She tried to give them a clear account of
her last discussion with Clint the day before, but it was so confused
in her own mind that she bewildered her listeners, too.

"Now wait a minute," Paul said. "I don't understand. If
Clint still wants to marry you, what makes you think he's in love with
Dinah?"

Elyse sighed and raised her palms in a gesture of
uncertainty. "He doesn't deny it, Paul. He claims he doesn't know
himself how he feels about her, but he does have strong feelings for
her. Maybe it's not love anymore, but until he finds out whether it is,
I can't marry him. It would be disastrous."

Liz took Elyse's hand and held it. "Of course you can't,
honey," she said angrily, "and when I see him I'm going to give him a
tongue-lashing that'll blister his hide."

"Oh, no, Liz." Elyse's dismay was clear in her tone. "You
mustn't do that. He can't help how he feels, and he didn't want me to
break the engagement. If you take sides it will only cause trouble in
the Sterling family. After all, he's Paul's brother, your
brother-in-law."

Liz wasn't about to be appeased. "Well, you're my sister,
and I'm not going to stand by and let him hurt you without a protest.
What's the matter with the man? It sounds to me as though this woman
doesn't know what she wants."

"I'm sure Clint realizes that," Elyse explained. "But we
seldom get to choose who we're going to fall in love with. Look how
hard you fought against loving Paul."

"Well, yes, but…" There was a shade of
uncertainty in Liz's tone.

"Actually, I think that's the reason Clint wants to marry
me. He says he loves me and I believe him, but it's a love born of
desperation. I came along when he'd given up hope of getting Dinah
back, and I filled a large void in his life. I gave him the love,
companionship and the warm physical intimacy he so badly needed. He
liked it, and he knows that if we married I'd continue to give of
myself. He also knows he can't trust Dinah not to desert him again."

"That's for damn sure," Paul growled. "I used to like
Dinah. The whole family did. She was beautiful, bright, well educated,
the perfect wife for Clint—or so we thought. Then after
they'd announced their engagement and were planning a wedding, she
changed her mind and walked out. Just turned tail and ran. Wouldn't
even make an effort to solve her problem, even though she knew how much
Clint loved her and what her leaving would do to him. He'd be out of
his mind to take her back now."

Elyse winced. It was an automatic reflex against the pain
she felt when anyone talked about how much Clint had loved Dinah. "I'm
certain he realizes that, but I don't think he trusts himself to
remember it if she stays around and he's free. Try to put yourself in
his place, Paul. Liz was adamant about not marrying you. If she'd gone
away instead of relenting, could you have just turned off your love for
her?"

Paul shook his head. "I wouldn't have let that happen. I
knew Liz loved me in spite of her fears about the difference in our
ages, and if she'd run away I'd have gone after her. I had no intention
of letting her go, no matter how long it took or how much trouble it
was to make her see that we belonged together."

His gaze locked with his wife's across the room, and Elyse
could feel the warm happiness that radiated between them.

"That's what Clint should have done," he continued, "and
I'm convinced he would have if he'd really wanted her as badly as I
wanted Liz."

Elyse wanted to believe that, but she knew Clint far more
intimately than Paul ever would. It wasn't out of character for Clint
to put Dinah's feelings ahead of his own.

"I'm not so sure," she said. "Clint is a sensitive man.
Probably too much so for his own good. He didn't try to find her
because he respected her feelings. He didn't want to force her into
marriage if she honestly didn't want it. He told me so. That may have
been a mistake, but he'll have to come to terms with his feelings for
her on his own. I refuse to be his shield."

Elyse kept busy with her doll-making. She was working on
Christmas stock and already had several orders for personalized dolls
from friends of Paul's who had seen Liz's collection of her work. She
didn't have time to brood during the day, and at night she fell into
bed, exhausted, and slept.

It was early the weekend after Paul and Liz's return that
she saw the item in the Around the Town column in one of Sacramento's
newspapers, to the effect that the handsome bachelor senator, Clinton
Sterling, had been seen in various places with the beautiful former
administrative assistant, Dinah Jefferson, who had been living in
Paris. The writer reminded her readers that Clint and Dinah had been
engaged at one time, and wondered in print if they were taking up where
they'd left off four years before.

The next day Elyse accepted a date to go to a movie with
Ferris Rogers, a teacher whom she'd dated occasionally before she'd met
Clint. Not that she wanted to go out with anyone else, but she was
determined to get back into the mainstream of life and not sit at home
and brood.

On Tuesday the telephone rang, and it was Grace Sterling,
Clint's mother. "We're at the house in Cameron Park," she said after
introducing herself. "We arrived on Sunday and are looking forward to
meeting you and Janey."

"But, Mrs. Sterling," Elyse said, trying to overcome the
jolt this surprise call had given her. "Didn't Clint tell
you—"

"He told me the story of your broken engagement, yes, and
I'm truly sorry about it, but whether you marry our son or not, you're
still a part of the family. We're totally captivated by Liz, and we
want to know her sister and little niece. My husband and I are having a
cocktail party on Saturday to get together with family and friends we
haven't seen for nearly a year, and we'd like you to be there."

"Oh, but—"

"I realize it might seem a bit awkward for you, and I
certainly don't want to cause you distress, but we're both especially
anxious that you come."

Going to a party at the Sterlings' was the last thing
Elyse wanted to do, but neither did she relish embarrassing Liz by
seeming ungracious and standoffish to her sister's new in-laws.

"Does Clint know you're inviting me?" Surely he wouldn't
want her there. It was too much to hope that Dinah wouldn't be invited,
too.

"Yes, he does, and he asked me to make every effort to
persuade you to accept."

Damn him! Why couldn't he leave her alone! Did he get some
sort of perverted kick out of having two women falling at his feet?
Well, she'd show him.

"Mrs. Sterling—"

"Please call me 'Grace'."

"Grace, if I do come, may I bring an escort?"

There was a slight pause, but when Clint's mother answered
there was approval in her tone. "Yes, of course you may, and bring
Janey. This won't be a riotous affair. Several people are bringing
children. We've arranged for a hostess and a clown so the little ones
can have their own party around the wading pool. We'll expect you about
six."

By Saturday evening Elyse was a bundle of nerves. She's
spent the past three days trying to think of a socially acceptable
excuse for not going to the Sterlings', but short of coming down with a
communicable disease there was none. She was Liz's only family, and she
couldn't let her sister down.

Ferris Rogers had readily agreed to escort her. He knew
she'd dated Clint a few times, but not that they'd been engaged.

With Liz's more knowledgeable help she'd chosen a long
oyster-colored pleated skirt with a loose-fitting sleeveless overblouse
in a whisper-soft gray floral print. With the outfit she wore matching
hose and high-heeled sandals. The only contrast was a chunky necklace
of black and oyster, and a wide black satin bow that caught her hair in
the back and tamed it to cascade down between her shoulder blades.

When Ferris arrived his eyes lit with admiration, and his
long, low sexy whistle made her grin. "Hey now," he said in his
pleasant tenor voice, "I always knew you were beautiful, but I never
realized you were elegant, as well. What happened to the gypsy maid in
the quilted skirt and wild curls who went to a movie with me Monday
night?"

Elyse laughed. "She turned into Cinderella for a few hours, but she'll be
back at the stroke of midnight. Elegant just
isn't the real me. It suits you, though. I've never seen you looking
more handsome, Ferris. I'm proud to be with you."

She'd spoken the truth. His dark slacks and white coat
were well tailored and accentuated his blond good looks.

When they arrived at the Sterling home the small parking
lot was full of luxury cars, and more were parked along the shoulder
between the road and the creek. Ferris parked his well-used but still
classy black Datsun 280ZX about a block past the house in the first
empty space, and they walked back.

When they came to the bridge and steps Ferris reached down
and scooped Janey into his arms. "Come on, sweetie, I'd better carry
you so you don't fall into the creek or skin your pretty knees on the
stairs."

Janey, who was dressed up, too, in a navy-and-white cotton
dress with a white ruffled pinafore, giggled and threw her arms around
his neck.

The door was opened by Grover, Alice's handyman husband,
who apparently doubled as butler. He directed them into the great room.
The place was alive with people and they filled the large space and
spilled over onto the terrace. Soft background music accompanied the
sounds of conversation and laughter.

As the trio started to move toward the crowd Elyse looked
up and saw Clint coming toward them. Her heart sped up, and her calm
was shaken. He was so handsome in his beige linen coat and dark
trousers. But his wide smile changed to a frown when he noticed Ferris
standing beside her, holding Janey.

For a moment he glared at them. Then apparently
remembering his manners, he managed a reluctant half smile. "I've been
watching for you, darling," he said with just a slight emphasis on the
word
darling
, as though he wanted to be sure
Ferris heard.

Ferris eyed Elyse warily, but before she could speak Clint
turned and held out his arms to Janey. "Hey, sweetheart, don't I get a
hug?"

To Elyse's surprise Janey tightened her hold on Ferris and
buried her face in his shoulder.

Ferris looked startled, and the shadow of pain in Clint's
eyes was so strong it almost tore Elyse's breath from her.
"Janey—" his voice couldn't completely disguise his anguish,
"—what's the matter?" He put his hand gently on her small
back. "What have I done? Why won't you come to me?"

Elyse was as shocked as Clint. For a while after he'd
stopped coming over Janey had asked about him every day. Elyse had made
excuses—he was busy, out of town or whatever—and
soon she'd stopped asking. When Elyse had told her about this party at
Clint's home, Janey had shown only mild interest instead of the wild
enthusiasm Elyse had expected at the prospect of her seeing her beloved
Clint again. It had surprised Elyse, but she'd been so upset at the
same prospect that she hadn't registered a problem.

She was almost undone by the effect Janey's rejection had
on Clint, and she spoke more sharply than she'd intended. "Janey,
you're being rude. Answer Clint."

"No, Elyse, please let me handle this." Clint tenderly
lifted Janey out of Ferris's arms and cradled her against him. "Now
tell me, baby, what did I do to make you angry with me?"

Janey wouldn't look at him. "You didn't come and see me.
You don't like me anymore."

Clint quickly turned his back on Elyse and Ferris, but not
before she caught the torment her daughter's remark had caused him.
"Excuse me," he said in a choked tone, and walked away with Janey
clutched in his arms.

Ferris looked at Elyse. "Is there something I should know
about?"

Elyse pressed her lips together to keep them from
trembling. "It—it's just that Janey got very attached to
Clint while he and I were going together, and I guess when we stopped
dating she was more upset than I realized."

Ferris took her arm. "It looks as though all three of you
are pretty upset," he murmured. "Come on, let's find our host and
hostess and introduce ourselves."