Cross My Heart (26 page)

They waded into the crowd, but got only halfway across the
room before Liz caught up with them. "Hi," she said, looking radiant in
peach chiffon, "I didn't see you come in. Did you bring Janey?"

It was Ferris who answered. "Hello, Liz. Yes, we brought
her, but Senator Sterling ran off with her… I haven't had a chance to wish you and your husband
happiness."

Liz smiled. "Thanks, Ferris. Paul's around here somewhere.
Come and let me introduce you to my father- and mother-in-law."

They elbowed their way through the press of people, and
out to the terrace, where an older couple were surrounded by guests.
The woman reached out to Liz as she approached them and took her hand.
"Elizabeth, my dear," she said, "this has got to be your sister, Elyse.
I recognize her from Clint's description."

"Yes," Liz said, "this is my baby sister and her friend
Ferris Rogers."

Grace Sterling was in her early sixties, but her delicate
face was unlined and there was only a trace of gray in her dark hair.
Her eyes were as green as Clint's, and her mint green designer gown
couldn't be larger than a size six.

Shyly Elyse shook hands. "I've looked forward to meeting
you, Mrs. Sterling. I do hope Clint's description was kind."

The other woman's eyes twinkled. "I thought we'd agreed
that you'd call me 'Grace,' and Clint's description wasn't kind, it was
truthful. He said you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever known."

Elyse could feel her face flush and tears sting her eyes,
but Grace quickly changed the subject and introduced her to her
husband, Burton, then greeted Ferris.

Burton Sterling was an older version of Clint, but with
brown eyes and white hair. He sat in a wheelchair and made no apology
for not standing. "So you're Elyse," he boomed. "Welcome to the family.
Lean down here and give me a hug. I'm not so old yet that I can't enjoy
kissing a pretty girl."

Elyse laughed and leaned down into his embrace as she
kissed him on the cheek. "Now I know where the Sterling sons get their
charm," she teased.

A familiar voice from behind made her jump and straighten.
"And this is the third gorgeous Haley female. Janey say hello to my dad
and mom."

It was Clint, still holding Janey, but now she was all
smiles, although Clint still looked shaken.

He put the child down, and while the Sterlings visited
with her and with Ferris, Clint took Elyse by the arm. "I want to talk
to you," he said grimly.

"But I—"

"Now." His tone brooked no opposition. "Dad and Mother
will introduce Janey to the party director, and your boyfriend can damn
well look after himself."

Elyse groaned. So it was going to be like that. Surely he
couldn't be jealous! And too bad if he was—she wasn't going
to be a martyr for any man.

As they made their way slowly through the crowded great
room she caught a glimpse of Dinah Jefferson talking to one of
Sacramento's TV anchormen. She also recognized the secretary of state,
a woman who had championed several women's rights issues, and the
colorful and controversial speaker of the assembly.

Clint ushered her into the den and shut the door. "Sit
down," he said tightly, and motioned toward the couch.

She sat on a chair, instead, but he continued to stand.

"Elyse, I'm surprised and disappointed. I wouldn't have
believed that you'd turn Janey against me. You know how special she is
to me."

Elyse gasped and her eyes widened with disbelief. "I don't
know what you're talking about."

He walked away from her and looked out the window. "Why
did you tell her I was too busy to see her?"

"I didn't. I…" Yes, she had, but not in those
words. "Clint," she said softly, "if that's what she thought, I'm truly
sorry. She kept asking why you didn't come, and I just couldn't tell
her that you wouldn't be coming to see us anymore—"

He whirled around to face her. "Why would you even
consider telling her a thing like that? The only reason I didn't come
was that you asked me not to. It certainly wasn't because I didn't want
to see her or you."

He ran his hand through his hair. "My God, I'm beginning
to wonder if women ever know what they want. First Dinah tells me she
expected me to come looking for her after she told me emphatically she
wouldn't marry me, then left the state. Now I find out that you've let Janey think I was too busy to come and see her after you
told me to stay away. Dammit, I'm not a mind reader!"

"You mean Dinah was just playing games with you when she
left?" Elyse asked, outrage in every syllable.

He shrugged. "Not exactly, but when I made no effort to
find her she didn't feel she could come back, even though she now
admits she wanted to."

He smacked his fist into the palm of his hand. "It's such
a waste. If she'd just picked up the phone and told me where she was
I'd have gone to her and brought her back, but without any sign from
her I assumed she was staying away because that's how she wanted it."

Elyse hadn't realized she'd still retained a glimmer of
hope until that hope was shattered along with her heart. Dinah still
wanted Clint. She'd come back to repair the damage she'd done to their
relationship earlier, and Elyse had stood back meekly and let her do it.

She didn't notice that Clint had moved until she realized
he was standing directly in front of her. She lifted her head and met
his cold gaze. "Now," he said, "suppose you tell me your excuse. Why
didn't you call and tell me Janey wanted to see me? I would have made
arrangements to spend time with her. In fact, I'd have insisted on it."

Elyse didn't like the feeling of guilt that assailed her.
After all, she wasn't the one who was in love with someone else. "How
was I to know you'd be interested? According to the newspaper you've
been spending most of your time squiring Dinah around Sacramento."

She couldn't miss the look of disgust that settled in his
eyes. "And you believe everything you read in the papers?"

She jutted out her chin. "Usually, yes, unless I have
reason to believe otherwise. And I didn't notice a retraction."

"It wasn't important enough to bother making a fuss." He
turned away. "I notice you didn't waste any time replacing me in both
your life and Janey's. Who's Ferris Rogers and how long have you known
him?"

Elyse stood. They were just hurting each other and getting
nowhere. "I don't think that's any of your business, Clint. You've got
what you've wanted for so long. Dinah's back and willing to marry you,
so grab her before she changes her mind again."

She walked past him and out of the room.

The next day Elyse painted faces on dolls. Slow delicate
work that took every ounce of her concentration and left no time for
what-ifs and could-have-beens. She knew she'd have to get a firm grip
on her emotions and steel herself to see Clint occasionally without
coming unglued. It would be unforgivable of her to destroy the loving
relationship between him and Janey, and since he was also a member of
Liz's family now, it would be impossible to avoid him without seeming
childish.

On Monday she cut out clothes for the dolls, and in the
afternoon she sat down in front of the television to sew. This was a
restful job since she could stitch and watch television or listen to
the radio at the same time. Janey had been put down later than usual
for her nap, so she was still sleeping at four o'clock when Elyse
switched the channel to the popular interview program that aired on a
Sacramento station at that hour.

She was only paying partial attention, when suddenly the
screen went black and big bold letters that spelled NEWS BULLETIN
appeared. A male voice broke in.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a news
bulletin. State Senator Clinton Sterling was shot as he left the
Capitol View Restaurant, where he had earlier given a speech on the
need for gun control legislation at a luncheon meeting sponsored by a
local businessmen's association."

Elyse's cry of horror was drowned out by the loud, rapid
voice of the announcer.

"The senator has been taken by ambulance to
Sutter General Hospital, but as yet there is no word on his condition."

"Repeat. Senator Clinton Sterling has been shot
and taken by ambulance to a hospital, but as yet there is no word on
his condition. We'll keep you posted on events as we learn of them."

For a moment Elyse sat rooted to the chair. Clint shot!
God, no! They didn't say whether he was alive or—

She jumped up and ran for the telephone. She had to call
somebody. The police? The television station? Liz! Of course she'd call
Liz. Liz would know if anybody did.

She grabbed the telephone, but when she started to dial
the number she couldn't remember it. She slammed the phone back in the
cradle and reached for her index file. It slipped out of her trembling
fingers and fell to the floor, scattering the little cards in all
directions.

She wailed a curse and dropped to her knees as hysteria
clawed at her quivering nerve ends. If anything happened to Clint she
couldn't bear it.
Dear God, don't let him die
!

She scooped the cards into a pile, but her hands were
shaking so that she scattered them again when she tried to pick them
up. She was crying hysterically, too shaken to reason, when the phone
rang.

It was Liz. But Elyse was too upset to do more than scream
Clint's name into the phone.

"He's alive, Elyse," her sister assured her. "Now calm
down and listen to me. He's at the hospital and he's unconscious, but
the bullet didn't hit anything vital. Honey, please, try to stop
crying. They'll be taking him into surgery almost immediately. Paul and
I are leaving for the hospital, and Grover Irwin is driving Dad and
Mother Sterling in. Sweetie, don't cry so hard. Maybe I should send
Paul on to the hospital and come up there to be with you."

"No!" Elyse shouted. "I want you… to
go… to the hospital. That's the only way… I have
of… knowing what's going on." She was making a massive
effort to get control of herself.

"Will you be all right?" Liz sounded worried and
indecisive.

"Yes, just call me as soon as you know anything. Promise,
Liz!"

"Of course. I've got to run now. Paul's waiting to leave."

For a long time after she hung up the phone, Elyse sat
huddled on the floor with her face buried in her knees and her arms
wrapped around her legs. Her whole body shook with deep hurting sobs
that nearly tore her apart.

What a fool she'd been. What a blind, stupid idiot. She'd
behaved as though time were a friend instead of the enemy. She of all
people should have known that there's no guarantee of tomorrow. Hadn't
she already had her nice secure future blasted all to hell once?

When Jerry had died she'd vowed she would never again put
off what she could do immediately, but then Clint had come into her life, and she'd felt secure again.
She forgot that you had to grab what you wanted and hold on to it. That
tomorrow might be too late.

Why hadn't she just accepted Clint's assurance that he
loved her and gone ahead with the engagement announcement? What
difference did it make if he loved Dinah, too? Once they were married
she could have made him forget about the other woman. She'd have loved
him so much that he wouldn't have needed anyone else. But no. She had
to have it all. She'd insisted on all or nothing, without ever stopping
to think that nothing could be so irrevocably permanent.

No, Clint wasn't going to die. Life couldn't be that
cruel. She couldn't lose Clint as she had Jerry. She could eventually
heal, even if Clint married Dinah, if she knew he was healthy and
happy. But if he died, a large part of her would die with him.

Her sobs finally spent, she got up and went into the
bathroom, where she blew her nose and washed her face. Her skin was
blotchy and her eyes were red with weeping, but she couldn't stay here
and wait for the phone to ring. She was going to the hospital in
Sacramento. She had to be there, even if she couldn't see Clint.

Half an hour later Elyse was tearing down the freeway in
her blue Mustang at well over the legal speed limit. Her most trusted
baby-sitter had been available and had responded immediately when Elyse
had called. Elyse had changed from her paint-spattered jeans into a
cotton skirt and blouse, hastily applied lipstick to her colorless lips
and arranged for the sitter to spend the night if necessary.

It seemed to her that the drive took forever, yet it was
only little more than an hour from the time the news bulletin broke
into the television program until she turned off the highway in
downtown Sacramento and drove to the hospital where Clint was battling
for his life.

The area around the building was chaotic. Aside from the
normal rush-hour traffic, the streets were clogged with news trucks,
cars and equipment. Elyse parked in the public parking lot under the
freeway and ran the block to the entrance, where she was stopped by a
security guard. "Sorry, ma'am," he said, "but unless you have
authorized business I'll have to ask you to come back later."

She had no intention of being turned away. She reached in
her purse and extracted her wallet. "I'm Mary Elyse Haley, Senator
Sterling's sister-in-law." A small lie, but almost true. She showed the
officer her driver's license.

"Just a minute," he said, and spoke into the walkie-talkie
he carried. A moment later there was a response, and the man said, "An
officer will be right down to take you to the family."

A few minutes later another man arrived. He escorted her
to the third floor, where, he informed her, a room had been set up for
Senator Sterling's relatives.

As she entered, Liz, who had been sitting on the couch by
Grace Sterling, jumped up and rushed over to embrace Elyse. "Honey, how
did you get here? Where's Janey?"