Crossing the Line (The Baltimore Banners Book 1) (15 page)

     When it came to making a grand exit, AJ was an abject failure.

     She had the entire scene planned: it would be mature, quiet, positive. Professional, even. And, hopefully, leave Alec-the-jerk feeling like a lowlife as she waltzed out the door with her bag and laptop in tow.

     In reality, grand exits lost a lot of their drama when the person doing the exiting fell asleep with a wet head and only a partially-packed bag. And grand exits really lost all their appeal when the person doing the exiting had to be awakened by the person being exited.

     Those were the incoherent, groggy thoughts that floated through AJ's head as she slowly came awake in the dim room. A few long seconds passed as she pushed herself to a sitting position and glanced around, trying to remember where she was.

     Oh yeah. She was in Alec's guest bedroom. She had driven here after the fiasco following the photo shoot and packed most of her stuff, intending to just leave. The creeping soreness throbbing through her muscles had convinced her to at least take a shower so she wasn't completely miserable. Then she had stretched out on the bed, intending only to stretch, and had promptly fell asleep.

     She pushed her tangled hair out of her face and eased herself out of the bed with a stifled groan, ignoring Alec as he leaned against the doorway and watched her. She threw her few remaining clothes into her duffle bag and zipped it shut, then stiffly walked across the room, stopping when Alec refused to move out of her way.

     "Where are you going?"

     AJ looked up at him and wondered why he even bothered to ask the question. Maybe the earlier kiss had melted what few brain cells she had given him credit for having.

     "I'm going home."

     "Why?"

     "Why? Did you really just ask me why? Why do you think?"

     "I don't know. That's why I'm asking."

     AJ gritted her teeth and tried to push past him, only to have his arms close around her. She stiffened in his hold, refusing to budge, refusing to look up at him. She just stood there, only barely resisting the urge to swing her duffle bag upside his head, and then only because she didn't think she'd be able to lift it that far.

     "Aren't you even going to ask me who she is?"

     If possible, AJ stiffened even more, her back teeth grinding so hard she expected them to crack under the pressure. Her lying words were clipped as she spoke. "It's not my business."

     "It's not?"

     "No, it is not." But oh, how she wanted it to be. She wanted to know exactly who the woman was, how well Alec knew her—although she figured she already knew the answer to that one—and what their relationship was. Then she wanted to know where the woman lived so she could find her and rake her eyes out of her skull. Then she wanted to come back and do the same thing to Alec.

     "You're lying. You want to know."

     AJ pushed against him and broke free from his hold, her suppressed hurt morphing into sudden anger. How dare he try to make light of it? Did he really think it was funny?

     She gripped her duffel bag tighter and pushed past him and into the hallway, heading for the stairs. Alec followed her but she ignored him, wanting only to get downstairs and out the door.

     "AJ, wait. AJ, c'mon. I was joking."

     She paused at the bottom of the stairs and turned to look up at him. "Joking? Yeah. Ha ha. Real funny."

     Alec jumped the last two steps then moved in front of her when she turned away from him. He placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned down, pushing his face closer to hers. "AJ, I'm sorry. Alright? I thought if I tried to make a joke of it, the whole thing wouldn't suck so much."

     "Well, it didn't work. And like I said—it's not my business, so don't worry about it." She stepped away and Alec's hands dropped from her shoulders. They looked at each other for a long minute, and AJ tried to think of something to say to break the silence. Her mind came up blank. After all, what could she say?

     She couldn't come out and tell him how she felt—she wasn't even sure how she felt herself, not really. And he had never said anything about how he felt, either. Yeah, he liked having her around. Not exactly a declaration, since she was pretty sure he liked having food around, too.

     "Why don't you think it's your business?" Alec finally asked, his voice quiet. She looked into his eyes but they were carefully veiled, giving away nothing. She took a deep breath and looked away, shaking her head.

     "Alec, it's not like...I mean..." She took another deep breath and adjusted her grip on the bag. "We're not together, okay? You don't answer to me, I don't answer to you. So if there's...you know, someone else...that's your business, not mine."

     "We're not together? Then what are we, AJ? Hell, you share my bed every night. What exactly is it that we're doing here?"

     She couldn't look at him, afraid he would be able to see too much in her eyes if she did. So she shook her head again and took a step back. "I guess we're just sleeping together. And we wouldn't even be doing that if not for your stupid bet."

     "Stupid bet?"

     "Yeah. You would have never given me even a minute of your time if not for the bet and you know it." AJ's breath hitched in her chest at the words, and at the harsh truth of them. Up until a month ago, it was all she could do just to get Alec to look at her, and then it was usually because he was looking over his shoulder as he ran away. It would have almost been funny how quickly things had changed...if not for how she really felt.

     She glanced up at Alec and wished she hadn't. He was standing less than a foot away, staring at her, his body stiff, his face devoid of all emotion. "So the last few weeks were, what? Research? An extra inside scoop?"

     "What!" AJ stepped back as if she had been slapped. And while Alec seemed completely drained of all emotion, hers boiled to the surface. "Is that what you really think? You honestly believe I could just...do that? Thanks, Kolchak. You just proved that you know absolutely nothing about me."

     She turned her back on him and walked to the door, digging in the bowl he kept on the entranceway table for her keys. Her eyes closed and she counted to ten while taking deep breaths, searching for a rational calm she didn't feel. Alec was standing next to her when she opened her eyes, studying her, his face no longer quite so blank. But she still couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling.

     "AJ, that's not—"

     "Listen, just...don't say anything, okay? I'm almost finished with the series and you're getting ready for an away stretch. The thirty days will be over before you get back so..." She shrugged and cleared her throat, looking away from Alec. "It's time for me to leave, anyway."

     Saying the words out loud hurt her more than she thought they would, but she didn't know what else to do. She had known it would be too easy to become attached but she had let herself do it anyway, thinking...well, she hadn't been thinking. That was the whole problem.

     Her hands closed around the keys and she squeezed her fist closed, not caring that the metal dug into her palm. When she looked up, Alec was still standing next to her, not moving, not doing much of anything. She wished he would say something to break the silence and at least make her feel less uncomfortable. It felt like a full minute dragged by before he finally nodded and stepped away. It wasn't quite what she was expecting—or hoping for.

     "Well, if the time is up, then I guess that's it." He took a step back, not really looking at her, his gaze focused somewhere over her shoulder. AJ stood motionless, pain tearing through her. Had she really thought he would declare his undying love for her? No.

     But that didn't mean she hadn't hoped. Maybe not for an undying declaration, but certainly for something other than his obvious dismissal.

     Alec looked back at her, his eyes distant, a slow ticking in his clenched jaw. "So tell me. Is it really because the time is up for the bet? Or is it something else?"

     She swallowed and looked down at the keys in her hand, blinking hard several times, wondering what she should say. She finally looked up and shrugged. "I don't know. I mean...I don't know, Alec. You asked me what we're doing here. I could ask you the same thing. What do
you
think we're doing here? Because, you know, I'm not the one who was sucking face with some strange woman in front of reporters and spectators."

     He watched her for a long minute then looked away with a small shake of his head. AJ's stomach clenched and her heart tightened in her chest. She took a deep breath, swallowed, then let the breath out in a rush. "Yeah, well. It's been fun, right? And it's not like we won't see each other again, so—"

     "AJ, that's not—"

     "No, really. It's not a big deal, you know? We're both adults and—"

     "AJ—"

     The shrill buzz of the doorbell echoed through the entranceway, silencing both of them. AJ met Alec's eyes, wishing she could read their dark depths. The doorbell buzzed again and Alec cursed as he stepped toward the door. "Damn shitty timing."

     AJ was going to say something about him not having to answer it but her mouth snapped shut when he opened the door. Standing on the other side was the blonde from earlier, one hand resting high on the door frame, the other resting casually on her hip. The pose was so obviously deliberate.

     And her appearance so very shocking that AJ actually sucked in her breath in surprise, feeling as if she had been slapped across the face. She couldn't see Alec's face, but she thought his back stiffened and she was pretty sure he was just as surprised at the blonde's appearance as she was.

     Or maybe she just wanted to believe that. Because, once again, the blonde stepped forward and grabbed Alec in a full-body embrace and plastered her mouth against his.

     AJ didn't bother to wait and see Alec's reaction; she leaned down to grab her bag and threw it over her shoulder, then pushed pass the lip-locked couple, not caring that she hit them with the bag. She pressed the button for the private elevator and muttered a sigh of thanks when the door opened immediately. Alec called her name but she ignored him and hit the button for the lobby before turning around, careful not to look up.

     The door had just started to close when Alec raced in beside her, pushing her against the wall of the elevator with his solid body. "AJ, don't go."

     The door closed with a hiss and AJ felt a second of panic at Alec's closeness. She shoved against him, staring at her hands splayed against the shirt pulled tight across his chest. His solid body didn't budge; instead, he stepped closer and cradled her face with his hands, forcing her to look up at him.

     "AJ, don't go," he repeated, his voice just above a whisper. She finally raised her eyes to meet his, searching for something, an answer or an indication or...something. But the dark depths of his eyes revealed...nothing she could easily read.

     "Alec, there's no reason for me to stay."

     His mouth closed over hers in a searing kiss she didn't see coming, his lips claiming hers with a moist heat so intense that she fell against him with a soft sigh. Alec gentled the kiss too quickly, pulling away and resting his forehead against hers. "For this. Isn't this reason enough?"

     AJ closed her eyes and took a deep breath. More than anything, she wanted to say yes. But for reasons more than deep kisses, passion, lust.

     "Alec, I...no, it's not. I'm sorry." This time he took a step back when she pushed against him, his face carefully blank. The door opened and Alec placed his hand against the frame, his gaze holding hers. She searched her mind for something to say, anything, but came up with nothing. AJ told herself it was just as well, because she doubted if she could get any words past her thick throat.

     She readjusted her grip on the bag and stepped past Alec, out of the elevator and into the lobby. She stood with her eyes closed for a second, then turned when she heard the doors begin to close. Alec stood motionless, his face blank as he stared at her. At the last possible second, just before the doors finally closed, an emotion flashed in the depths of his eyes, so briefly that AJ told herself it was merely a figment of her imagination, wishful thinking.

     She took a deep breath, swallowed, and blinked hard, then turned and walked out of the lobby.

**

     The paper landed in front of her with a loud rustle, covering the keyboard. AJ glanced down at it, clenched her jaw, and impatiently brushed it away, not bothering to look up at the person who threw it. The shadow grew larger, blotting out the light in her cubicle, and she let out a sigh of irritation.

     "They make a nice couple, don't you think?"

     AJ gritted her teeth again and took a deep breath, warning herself not to let her impatience—or anger—show. "If you say so."

     Gerry Brown reached down for the paper and made a show of casually flipping through the pages. "I still don't know which picture is my favorite. There are so many to choose from. There's this one of them dressed up on the town..." The colorful pages rustled as he flipped through them. "Or this one of the happy couple reuniting at the rink..." More rustling, then a chuckle. "But I do think my favorite is this one here. It really captures your graceful side." The paper was tossed back on her keyboard, and she didn't have to look down to see which picture he was talking about. She had seen them all before, had their images branded on her retinas from staring at them in disbelief for so long.