Crossing the Line: Without a Trace series, a contemporary erotic romance novel (27 page)

He holds out a hand, his expression weary but cheerful. “Ah, our last victim. I mean, participant.” He smiles warmly as we shake, and I’m wildly conscious of how cold my fingers are against his very warm ones. “We weren’t sure if we had one more to go—the other party canceled, too.”

“You don’t need Zi?” Lux asks.

“No, no, we can use her. I’ll get Kai to stand-in. Let me sound the alarm to get ready.”

“Ready for—” My question dies on my lips as he turns away, bellowing at his people to get “set up.” I turn to my sister, drawing myself up to my full five-feet-eleven-inches so I can glare down at her. “What am I getting ready for here?”

My tone brooks no excuses, and she lifts a shoulder with a heavy exhale. “They’re making a promotional film for a movie series their doing. It’s silly, fun, whimsical, sweet—”

“And what am I doing here then?”

“You’re one of the cast.”

If the idea of being filmed wasn’t terrifying enough… “Doing what, exactly?”

Lux nibbles her full bottom lip. “Making out with someone.”

“What?” My voice drops an octave.

“It’ll be fun, Zizi Baby. It’s a series of strangers connecting, kissing a bit, showing who we are at our most intimate.” Lux seems to rethink her words. “Hm, okay, maybe that does sounds a little scary.”

“No, absolutely not.” I spin towards the door. “Not going to happen.” But there’s several people behind us now, doing God only knows what, so it’s not like I can run out into the hallway. I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder, and Ger is back, a big smile on his lean face. “Zi, right? We’re going to get you into hair and makeup briefly—just a few minutes—and then we’ll be ready.”

I glare at my sister. “Are you going to explain this to him, or am I?”

Lux takes Ger’s arm. “We’ll be right over.”

Ger laughs and nods. “No problem. Kai’s in a meeting so we’ve got a few minutes.”

Lux doesn’t even give me a second to yell at her. “Look, I know this is weird, and I know this wasn’t what you expected. But you’ve been single for two years now. Not a single date…text…anything.” She grips my arms, staring into my eyes. “You need to have some fun. Let loose a little. This is safe; these are nice folks, they’re doing cool things, and you get to make out with someone for a few minutes without any repercussions. Maybe you’ll rediscover your sex drive.”

“I have a perfectly fine sex drive, thank you very much.” But I can’t deny her words. I’ve worked so much and so hard, and if I’m honest, it’s been easier than even contemplating dating again. She knows why I haven’t stepped toe on the field again, and she’s probably right: if I’m not thrown into the pool, I might never swim again. But that doesn’t mean I’m letting her off the hook. “Why didn’t you just tell me what this was all about?”

“Because you’d never have come. And you need this, Zi. You need something. God, you’re younger than me, yet you act like you’re older.”

I stick my tongue out at her. “Easy for you to say, Ms. Hottie-with-a-Scottie.”

She grins, any mention of her love Fin MacKenzie turning her cheeks pink with delight. “Very true. And we need to find you your hottie, okay? But first, we have to get you in fighting condition. Today might be a good ice breaker.”

I widen my eyes and blow out a breath. “I’m not sure making out with a stranger is going to fix anything.”

“Maybe not.” She steers me towards a door on the other side of the room. “But it can’t hurt.”

Here I am, makeup-ed and my hair spritzed and coiffed—the stylist insisted my long locks should be down in soft curls and used a surprisingly small amount of makeup—and I’m standing on “my mark,” an “X” of black tape on the floor.

“Just do what comes naturally,” Ger says, patting my shoulder. “We’re looking for honest reactions.”

“Don’t I need another party for this?” I ask, my acidic tone a result of my nerves.

Ger chuckles. “You do. He’s on his way.”

I’m just hoping he’s not a stunt double for a hunchback. Lux stands off-camera, chatting with a “grip,” or at least, I think that’s what the woman’s called. A gaffer? I can barely remember my own name at this point.

In order to make me feel more comfortable, Ger introduced me to several of the people standing around in casual wear, some manning cameras and mics, others with clipboards. There’s not that many people—maybe eight, total, but it seems like a lot in this small space.

“Sorry that took so long,” echoes a deep voice behind Ger.

“No worries, Kai. Zi, this is our executive producer, Kai Isaac.”

I’m not a short woman, but Kai makes me feel tiny. If the man didn’t play basketball, coaches somewhere must’ve drowned in sorrow. His dark hair, wavy, in a rumpled, not-quite-styled look begs to be touched. Like the rest of the crew, he wears jeans and a t-shirt, and he moves with an elegance that belies his casual air. But I’m captured by his gaze. Smoky green and muted amber, with flecks of gold around the center, and when those eyes meet mine, there’s a softness that steals my breath.

“Good to meet you,” he says with a smile.

His hand feels huge around mine as we shake, and I struggle to find my tongue. “Y-you as well.”

“Now that we’re all here, we can get started.” Ger steps back, leaving Kai and me facing each other. “Remember: we want this to be honest, so try to relax. We’re going to roll tape, and you’re going to get started when you’re ready. And…action.”

Suddenly, the room seems too small and too big at the same time. Kai looks down at me, his full lips curved with a small grin. “Are you okay?”

“We’re not supposed to talk or something first?” I lick my lips, my mouth dry, and I’m wildly aware that I didn’t chew gum after eating breakfast. God, is my breath bad?

“Not really. The goal is to show what happens when strangers lose themselves in another person.”

I’m pretty sure I’m already lost. I trail my hand through my hair, nerves fluttering. How am I still upright? He steps closer, reaches for my hands. His touch is gentle, and he draws my palms up to his shoulders. “Pretend we’re in a club, and I’ve gotten up the nerve to ask the most beautiful woman in the room for a dance. You don’t know me, but there’s something between us.” He grins, both charming and teasing. His broad shoulders are hard beneath my fingers, and as his hands rest lightly on my waist, it’s impossible not to melt against him, to feel his long, muscled body against mine.

“I don’t know how to dance,” I whisper, then want to kick myself. With my hormones firing like loose cannons, anything’s liable to come out of my mouth.

“I’ll teach you.” With aching slowness, he lowers his mouth to mine. His lips are soft, curious, and as we explore each other, he tightens his hold around me, his fingers slipping into my hair. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding against mine, and he tastes of cinnamon with a hint of coffee. I can barely take a breath as I dissolve against him. His palm grazes my hip, seeking purchase as he presses me closer, and I can feel the hard length of him against my lower stomach. Some part of me is relieved: I’m not the only one getting turned on. A small voice in the back of my mind reminds me that I’m making out with a total stranger, but that doesn’t seem to make much impact. Or maybe, that’s the point?

Minutes—hell, it could be hours—pass, and we break away, both breathing heavily. I catch a faint whiff of something mildly spicy—aftershave?—mixed with him, and I want more. He holds my face close, his gaze seeking. Satisfied, his lips brush against mine. An invitation, and one I’m more than happy to oblige. This time, I guide our pace, mouths hungry and wanting, my hands exploring the hard planes of his back and shoulders. He answers easily but doesn’t push. Instead, I take us deeper, dropping my hand to his ass and pulling him against me. His mouth trails to my neck, searing my skin with kisses and small nips. It’s all I can do not to moan. His fingers slide beneath my tank, over the bare skin of my lower back, as his lips blaze a path over my shoulder and collarbone. My knees weaken, and I hold onto him as every nerve ending sparks with pleasure.

I’m ready to explode when he gently pulls back, drawing his hands up to my shoulders. “I’d love to enjoy you even more, but I’m not sure if you’d want that on camera,” he says softly. He glances over at Ger, who calls, “Cut!”

Christ, I’d forgotten where we are.

Fabulous.

My skin inflames with embarrassment. “Good point.” I force a grin against my stiff cheeks, stepping out of his embrace. “That was fun.”

Those unique eyes of his—both green and gold—meet mine, a hint of confusion in their depths. But he masks his bafflement quickly. “It was. Thank you.” He nods his head slightly, punctuating his words. Ger sidles up to him, and I use that as an opening to escape.

Lux grabs my hands. “Oh. My. God. That was hot.” She smiles. “Who knew my sister had all that sexy Dom in her? Damn.”

I’m too shaken by the experience to make jokes. “Can we go?”

She cocks her head, not sure how to take my reaction, probably. “Sure. Let me just say goodbye.”

“Fine. I’ll wait outside.” I nearly run for the door, hoping I remember which way to turn to get to the exit. The bright morning sun offers a beacon, and I leave the building as though someone’s chasing me. In the intense heat of my car, the sun beating through the windows, I drop my head in my hands. What on earth did I just do? I shouldn’t berate myself: if a customer came into my shop and told me of a similar experience, I’d herald her as liberated and enjoying her sexuality. But it’s been so long since I experienced lust and wanting, and some part of me feels wrong for enjoying it. Especially under the circumstances—a public display like that? Even worse, I can’t remember his name. Corey? No. Casey? Crap. It had a hard “C” sound. Who makes out with someone and doesn’t have something as basic as the person’s identity memorized?

Lux joins me minutes later, interrupting my self-flagellation. “You totally floored them in there. I think Kai is still recovering.”

That’s his name. Kai. His name rolls over my silent tongue, the hard
i
worth savoring. I shake myself. “Good to know. Where to next?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just…I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, no. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Fin, you talk about shit, even when you don’t want to. Spill.”

I roll my eyes, inwardly cursing her red-haired love, even if he’s right. “I’m uncomfortable with what happened. It’s…disconcerting, I guess.” I stumble through the words, not sure how to describe the heavy weight that’s centered on my lungs.

“Okay. I admit, it’s definitely outside of your comfort zone. And you went over and above what they were expecting. I got to see some of the raw video while you were in makeup—most people just kissed for a bit and called it a day. You and Kai…that was something.”

Given my sister’s previous career and her love of sex clubs, she’s seen plenty of sensual public displays. So if she thinks what happened between me and Kai was hot…

“Great. It’s worse than I thought.”

“Whoa. Where’s this coming from?” Lux stares at me, her perfectly arched eyebrows drawn together. “There’s nothing wrong with what you did. You had some fun. Blew off some steam. Enjoyed a very steamy make-out session with a delicious man—did you hear his drop-dead sexy voice? That deep timbre? Dear God. It’s amazing women don’t throw panties at him everywhere he goes.”

Despite my angst, I can’t help the grin that tugs at my mouth.

“You, dear sister, need to let your hair down more often.” She fingers one of my loose curls, tossing it over my shoulder. “You spend too much time worrying about other women’s sex lives, and not enough about your own.”

I can’t argue her there. “Maybe. But can we talk about something else? Like what we’re doing today?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be shopping?”

I’m not in the mood. “I have more clothing than any one person should own, and my shoe collection might need its own closet soon. Let’s go for a movie instead.”

Lux shrugs. “Works for me.”

We opt for
Taylor Made
, a new action/romance film starring the hunky mega-star Mick Jeffries—whom Lux actually knows, no doubt courtesy of living in New York City. But the darkness of the theater serves only to insulate me with my thoughts. Lux might be right: it has been too long since I dated and had some fun. How can I, though, when something like today nearly paralyzes me with self-recrimination? Despite my confusing emotions, my mind won’t stop replaying this morning’s kisses…or the heat of Kai’s gaze as he looked at me. When was the last time I felt that desired? And he definitely wanted more—hadn’t he said as much afterwards? Or maybe he was just being a flirt?