CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) (20 page)

But for him it was hardly enough.
“More,” he rasped tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth, letting his hands
squeeze her bottom with possessiveness that would have given him pause if he
hadn’t been utterly consumed by sensations right now.
“Fuck!” He nearly snarled a moment later when his battered hand protested
against the harshness of his grip the way he imagined Cat would do.

But she just blinked helplessly at him when
he let her go as suddenly as he grabbed her.

Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen
from his kiss and he wanted nothing more than to continue until eventually they
ended up in her bed.

But merely two hours earlier she had told him
she was not ready for more, he thought and swore under his breath.
“Go inside, Cat, and don’t invite me in,” he told her roughly, going against
all he was. “Go!” He repeated when she didn’t do it fast enough.

There was no way he was going to survive
many more encounters like that, he told himself.

CHAPTER 22

Catalina propped her elbows on her desk and
rested her head in her upraised hands.

She knew it was pointless, but the sheer
stubbornness that had never failed to simply let her be refused to give up just
yet.

She was attempting to select the ten best
snapshots from numerous collections she had managed to put together. But how
could she choose since, if she had been given another chance, she would have
made some adjustments or chosen something else completely.

Besides, she could hardly consider any of
those snapshots her best, she thought, rubbing at her pounding temples.

Perfectionism had its price, she knew well,
and it had the capacity to exhaust even the most resilient individual.

She pushed her chair away from the desk,
straightening her stiffened body after hours of sitting in the same position.

What did she know about children in the
first place? She asked herself when her gaze persistently swung back to the
pictures scattered on the surface of the table.

She used to be a child herself, even if she
was not allowed to act like one, she thought.

Not after her parents died anyway.

‘Children are not meant to be heard or
seen’
–
Florence Bennett’s
words were still loud and clear in her mind as if she uttered them a day and
not years ago.

If that was the case, what was the purpose
of having kids in the first place? Catalina had always wanted to ask the very
question but had never dared to, knowing her grandmother would take it as an
insult and insolence both.

And neither was permitted.

Cat looked down at laughing and happy faces
on the pictures, not able to recall a single time being so carefree herself
after she had been given to Florence’s care.

She wasn’t allowed to do something as
simple as play without considering the consequences of her every word and
action, heedless of other people’s opinion.

A sigh parted her lips when it dawned on
her that she was nothing but a fraud trying to capture something she had never
experienced firsthand, not even understanding how it all should work.

A hot flush crept on her cheeks when the
deep feeling of abashment overfilled her, threatening to spill her shame over
at any moment now.

Simply looking at things was a far cry from
tasting how they felt on one’s skin.

Was that why she was reacting so strongly
to Xan and all that his presence was silently promising?

He was inviting her to break taboos with
that cocky smile of his and she was more than happy to oblige, she thought.

They had both been busy for the last two
weeks and their meetings were nothing but stolen moments here and there since
the night of the fight that resulted in his friend’s stay at the hospital.

Catalina knew that Dragon was getting better;
apparently good enough so that he started to talk about getting back on the
ring.

She shook her head, unable to comprehend
it.

Two weeks were not nearly enough for his
cracked ribs to heal, but she was convinced he knew that himself.

She tried very hard to understand what kind
of a magical spell this bloody sport cast over
otherwise
sensible
men, but she was coming up empty-handed
each and every time.

She was happy Xan’s hand didn’t allow him
to return to the ring, but she knew it was just a matter of time, especially
now, since he went back to his regular trainings.

Catalina wondered if the pull they felt
toward the ring was something akin to the addicting ways of hazard.

She had no experience with either but she
was about to taste the latter, she thought, since Xan was taking her to a
casino.

At least that was what she gathered because
he was very stingy with details.

All he had told her was that she needed to
look gorgeous and leave her camera at home
–
which took some of the wind out of her
sails
–
but she still hoped
to change his mind about it. She had the whole afternoon for it after she talked
him into going shopping together.

She was curious what his preferences were
and what would fulfill his idea of the perfect attire for the mysterious
evening. Catalina didn’t think he would agree, but she should have known
better: it seemed he was incapable of looking away from a challenge of any
kind.

She laughed softly and shook her head
because she simply couldn’t imagine someone as restless as he was patiently
enduring one of the things the majority of men hated the most in the world and
found tedious at best.

She glanced at the face of her wristwatch
and sighed, knowing she still had work ahead of her before she could indulge
herself and have fun.

The pictures displayed on the surface of
her desk were still waiting for her approval and she was determined to finish
the task no matter her doubts and her inadequate knowledge about simple joys of
childhood.

Yes, she was crippled indeed when it came
to basic sensations, no matter how bitter the truth was. She was like a person
who thought they could own things by window shopping alone.

It felt like she had spent her entire life
behind a window glass, left to wonder how life felt and what it tasted like.

Was it surprising she was fascinated by a
man who seemed to have done it all and then some more? She had no idea what
kind of a childhood Xan had, but she could bet that he did all those forbidden
things she had never been allowed to do.

She forced herself to focus on work again,
which wasn’t an easy feat when her mind seemed seized on thoughts revolving
around hedonism in every form and shape.

***

Kelton Donovan wiped his forearm across his
perspiration-damp forehead and glanced at Xan, who grabbed a bottle of water
and was slugging back half of it at once.

They were both dehydrated after the workout
and he would have never admitted it to the younger man but he nearly got beaten
by him today.

Shit, he was getting old, Kelton thought.

He had always assumed his life was going to
end during a military operation while he was serving in Marines but he survived
his service intact… physically anyway… and was pushing forty now.

Forty for fuck’s sake, and he attempted to
drive himself to an early grave by something as cliché as drinking. Not a day
passed by where he didn’t miss the feeling of pressing the cold rim of a whiskey
glass to his parched lips. But he was successfully ignoring this siren’s song
so far and was planning to continue to do so.

It was Xan who saved him in more ways than
one and gave him purpose again. He was like a derailed train, Kel thought, and
the boy set a new course for him when he didn’t think anything could again. He
saw so much of himself in the younger man it was scary at times.

He didn’t have to know every filthy detail
of Xan’s childhood to understand what the boy went through. The brutality of it
didn’t break him, though, which it would have done to so many others.

No, instead it taught him determination to
make something of his life no matter the cards he was dealt. Kelton had always
admired strength of character, maybe even more so after the temporary lapse of
his own.

He knew about the latest events in
Cul-de-sac and the news worried him greatly. He not only felt sorry for Noah,
but was concerned about Xan.

Not that the boy wanted to talk about it or
pick up the subject of his injured hand
–
the condition of which he thought he hid so
well
–
Kel thought, and
nearly chuckled. So if he couldn’t get him to talk about either of it, he
decided to razz him about the girl instead.
“When am I going to meet her?” He asked him now.
“Who?” Xan threw a sweaty towel aside and looked at Kelton.
“Really?” Kel only shook his head and Xan sighed.

Xan actually believed it to be the only
time and place he wouldn’t think of Catalina. And he was about to congratulate
himself for nearly achieving the goal, but Kel just had to open his big yap and
ruin it, he thought.

Fine, he wasn’t nearly as successful in it
as he wanted himself to be, but damn if he were to admit to that, Xan decided.

He constantly wanted her until it turned
into a dull throb in his veins. It was hardly the first time he had desired a
woman, but what bothered him was that he couldn’t recall any other name or
face.

Probably because none of those women before
her had made him wait, he decided.

And as much as he couldn’t wait to finally
enjoy her little body, he started to relish the fleeting touches and kisses
keeping his blood in an unvarying state of simmer and looking forward to a next
time.

He had never considered himself a masochist,
but he couldn’t come up with a more fitting description, Xan mocked himself.
“Damn, the hook in your mouth looks good on you,” Kel chuckled, and Xan raised
his hand to his brow stroking it with his middle finger in answer.
“You can flip me off all you want, but I’ve never seen you like that before.”
“Like what exactly?” Xan frowned.
“You are hooked, my man; she must be pretty special.”
“She is.” There was no point in denying it, he thought.

What worried him the most was that he had
no idea whether it was a good or bad thing.
“I am taking her out tonight,” Xan said before he could stop himself.
“Where to?
“One of Tristan’s games… What?” Xan asked when Kelton just whistled.
“You sure you want to bring her any deeper into the illegal side of life?”
“She led a sheltered life so far, someone should have done it a long time ago,”
Xan shrugged.
“And you became such specialist on what is best for her based on your detailed
knowledge about her life, right?” Kel smirked. “Did you even bother to learn
the first thing about her before you fucked her?”
“Watch it!” Xan warned feeling his temper instantly ignite.

He decided not to tell Kel they hadn’t had
sex yet; he wouldn’t believe him anyway, he thought. He could barely believe it
himself.
“Oh I did watch you plow your way through a number of women, boy, and you still
didn’t learn a dick.”
“What the fuck does it even mean?”
“The very fact you don’t know says it all.” Kelton retorted.
“How come you are all over my ass about it? You don’t even know her,” Xan snorted.
“That’s why I asked when I’m going to meet her. I have to see for myself who is
crazy enough to put up with you except myself.”
“Very funny,” Xan muttered, but his anger left him as fast as it appeared. “I
could probably bring her to one of the trainings.”
“You do that and let her watch when I am kicking your ass.”
“I think I might have punched you one time too many, old man,” Xan taunted.
“We are far from being done, boy. Bring it!” Kel waved him on stepping back
onto the mat. “Let’s shadow box and see where you are throwing your punches. Remember,
don’t focus on one area of attack. This is MMA so mix it up! Don’t give me a
chance to defend myself or counter attack!” Kel yelled and groaned when Xan
threw a jab to his face, right round kick to his thigh and a left hook to the
liver.

He got him in a clinch, switching from
stand-up fighting and bringing it to the ground.
“Still wishing she could have been here witnessing
me
kicking
your
ass?” Xan smirked and Kel chuckled regardless his current position.

Vicious punk, he thought fondly.

CHAPTER 23

Catalina was surprised when her doorbell
rang, because as much as Xan was punctual, he had never made an appearance
before the agreed time so far.

He didn’t make it this time either, she
understood after opening the door. It was Chloé who waited on the other side of
it.
“I thought you were working on location today,” she kissed Cat on the cheek. “I
am glad I was wrong. I just need to tell you about the horrible day I had!”
“I’m sorry to hear that, and I am sorry but I am actually on my way out, so we
will need to reschedule or cut it short.”
“Oh? What are you up to?” Chloé measured Catalina’s simple shirt and jeans.
“Nothing official I see.” She decided.
“No, I am actually waiting for Xan,” she smiled.
“Are you like… seeing him?” Chloé frowned. “I thought you got it out of your
system after that night in the club. You haven’t mentioned it is still going
on.”

Catalina sighed and thought that probably
the note of surprise and censure in her friend’s voice was a reason why she
didn’t elaborate on the subject. Not that she hid it, either, but she was
trying to gauge the situation herself first.
“Please come in and tell me about this day of yours,” she said.
“Oh no, it can wait, but my curiosity demands to be addressed right away
darling. Spill it, Cat, we have never had secrets between us,” Chloé reminded
her.
“I know; it’s not a secret since I just told you about it.” She made a face and
Chloé laughed but was not going to be satisfied with that and they both knew
it.

Catalina knew her friend’s retreat that
night from Cul-de-sac was quite purposeful. As Chloé explained to her later,
her disappearance was supposed to help Cat concentrate on having fun with Xan
without being distracted by Chloé’s presence.

Catalina didn’t think she would have
vanished without a word herself if the situation were reversed, but she could
understand Chloé’s point of view. She was even happy she didn’t stay to witness
later events in the fight club, since she was against Cat’s involvement in the
first place.
“You can do better than that, Kitty-Cat.” Chloé pursed her lips.
“We’ve been seeing each other since then.” Although ‘seeing’ seemed like a
far-fetched description in her opinion because they were both busy.
“You can’t be serious!” Chloé looked at her as if she didn’t know her at all
and was not sure what to expect from her next.
“And why not?” Catalina tilted her head.
“He is good looking and has this dangerous vibe going on about him; I will give
you that much, but do you really think he will get a green light from Florence?
She finds the policeman profession too vulgar and brutal, remember? And Gabriel
is actually on the right side of the law. What do you think her opinion of an
illegal street fighter would be?” Chloé laughed at the idea alone and Cat
couldn’t blame her because it was something beyond comprehensible indeed.

A man like Xan was too untamed to ever make
her grandmother’s cut. He was the type to flip society the finger, quite
literally.
“First of all, we are just seeing each other; it’s not like I am marrying the
guy. Second of all, I thought you were on my side.” Catalina folded her arms.
“I am, but I can also imagine the kind of hell that will break loose if word
about any of it gets to Florence. And you know that eventually everything is
revealed sooner rather than later.” Chloé sent her a sympathetic look. “I am
not defending the society and its stiffening etiquette but neither am I going
to support his kind of rough-and-tumble. I just don’t want you hurt,
Kitty-Cat.” Chloé touched her arm and Catalina sighed again.

She knew Chloé loved her and meant well.
She also knew all the arguments her friend brought up were valid, but it was
not changing anything in Cat’s eyes.
“I have never felt as alive as when I am with him.” She looked at Chloé, searching
for understanding; and that was exactly what she found in her dark gaze.

There was no judgment but a silent warning.
A warning Catalina was aware of anyway; but heeding it was another story, she
thought.
“What are your plans for today?” Chloé asked.
“We are going shopping.”
“Shopping. Is this some kind of a code for a weird activity?”
“No!” Catalina laughed nudging her friend.
“I don’t know any man who would do that willingly unless he lost a bet or was
going to get rewarded afterward… ah… is he?” Chloé looked at Cat with more
attention.
“How about he just wanted to accompany me?” Catalina asked.
“Yeah, I will go with a no,” Chloé snorted out loud.
“God, you are so cynical.” Cat shook her head.
“And you are naive, darling, but I love you anyway.”
“I love you too.” She hugged Chloé and jumped slightly when a firm knock
sounded.
“Don’t give him more power by letting him know how he affects you.”
“Sage advice,” Catalina muttered, heading toward the door; even if it was too late
for that, she thought.
“Xan.” Was all she managed to say before he swept her off her feet.

Literally.

His mouth took control of hers while he
carried her inside.
“Guess what I would rather do than shopping,” he said setting her feet on the
ground again.
“Yes, Cat, don’t keep us in suspense and guess.” Chloé laughed and his head
snapped up.
“Hi Chloé,” He winked at her.
“Hello Xan.”
“I would have said we are not alone if you had given me a chance,” Catalina
announced with dignity, ignoring a hot blush spreading over her cheeks.
“That’s my cue. Enjoy your shopping… if that is what you will end up doing,
that is.” Chloé smiled sweetly. “I will call you later, Kitty-Cat,” she added
and walked off.
“Kitty-Cat?” Xan raised an eyebrow.
“Apparently my name is just too ordinary for you people,” Catalina said and he
chuckled.
“There is nothing ordinary about you…
Kitten
. Are we set?”
“If by that you mean going out, then yes, although I thought you would cancel
on me,” she admitted.
“And why would I do that?” One arrogant eyebrow went up.
“Because people keep telling me that this is not any man’s favorite pastime.”
“I think we are good… as long as you don’t turn out to be one of those women
who need to try on absolutely everything on racks.” He smirked.
“I promise I will do my best and try… to avoid that. Might help if I know what
are we looking for and where are we going… later?”
“Nice try. Let’s go and I will show you what we need for tonight.” He grabbed
her hand, pulling her toward the door.