CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) (8 page)

But instead of boasting his win, he felt
like he had been the one knocked-out flat on his ass.

CHAPTER 7

Catalina needed a friend, someone who could
understand her loss and would be there to listen to her unbidden words because
she didn’t think she could patiently describe the whole situation. Even though
she knew that it was unlikely for her internal turmoil to show on the surface,
she was a mess of emotions within.

She felt unhinged and needed mooring.

Nobody was better at it than Chloé Logan,
she thought.

They had been friends since they met at
Yale University where they were both studying Art. Moving to Santa Monica was
Cat’s idea but she believed she wouldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been for her
friend’s support.

Defying Florence Bennett wasn’t an easy
feat, or everyday occurrence for that matter, and having someone in her corner
helped Catalina immensely.

Life in L.A. was a challenge and a breath
of fresh air Cat desperately needed after the stuffy atmosphere of
sophisticated Connecticut and high-end elite’s life she grew up in.

Yale was an obvious choice, a continuation
of the Bennett family generations’ long tradition and only a step from the
Choate Rosemary Hall which was a highly selective, private college
–
preparatory
boarding school located in Wallingford where Catalina was from.

In Santa Monica, she was a novice just
starting to pave her way to the hermetic world of photography and Chloé was a
budding model.

Her friend’s name was less refined back
then, as Cat liked to tease her about. She was simply Chloe then.

Only when she started to get more lucrative
job offers did she decide to change it into Chlo
é
as her private tribute
toward the French fashion house founded in 1952 by Gaby Aghion. It offered
luxury prêt-à-porter, rejecting the stiff formality of 1950s fashion houses
that had only ever produced Haute Couture for those rich enough who could
afford it.

Chloé decided she was going to be the next
IT
girl and the name change, slight as it was, was supposed to help her to achieve
it.

Catalina wasn’t sure how big a part it
really played in the bigger scheme of things but surely it didn’t jinx it,
boosting her friend’s confidence in the very least.

However, it was a portrait of Chloé made by
Cat that was a breakthrough in her career. Chloé often said that Cat was the
one who helped her climb up the career ladder and she would be forever grateful
to her lucky star for meeting her in the right time of her life.

Cat was equally thankful for that, since
before the other woman stormed into her life she had never had a friend.

Oh, she had plenty of acquaintances, but
not a
real
friend. Especially one who was as bold as Chloé and believed
that life was her oyster.

Now Catalina was looking at the other
woman, waiting for her Zumba lesson to end, wondering why people would
voluntarily undergo twenty-five minutes of this torture and pay for it on top
of it. She much preferred her Pilates routine in the privacy of her own house.

Even sweaty and out of breath, Chloé was
simply beautiful. Her long gypsy black hair was bundled up, exposing the long
and slim column of her neck. Her face bore no signs of make-up, her body was
not adorned by any jewel for obvious reasons.

Cat smiled, knowing that even her state of
dishevelment was nothing casual but an effect of careful planning. Chloé wasn’t
big on believing in coincidence, not leaving anything to a chance if she could
help it.

Usually she could, Catalina thought.

Chloé waved to her as soon as the lesson
was over and walked out of the class with a towel wrapped around her neck. Her
purple sport bra and black leggings emphasized a body rigorously kept in shape.

It made perfect sense since it was her
trademark and working tool. She was around four inches taller than Cat’s
five-feet-six, but the self-confidence that was so much a part of her was
doubling that as Cat often joked.
“I would hug you but I don’t think it would go well with your foppish dress.”
Chloé noticed and Cat laughed despite her mirthless mood.
“I guess everyone would look dapper compared to you.” She noticed and Chloé
snickered.
“Don’t make me change my mind.” She warned. “Give me twenty minutes and we can
go grab a bite. I will order something yummy because God knows I deserve it and
you will tell me what put this look in your eyes.”

It took half an hour for Chloé to be ready
and another fifteen until they were seated in a cozy coffee shop. ‘Something
yummy’ turned out to be a non-fat Frappuccino and a Mango Smoothie for
Catalina.
“He did a number on you. I’m sorry sweetie, I know what this camera meant to
you.” Chloé squeezed her hand in sympathy after Catalina shared events of the
last few days with her best friend.
“But…?” Cat looked at her expectantly knowing better than to believe it was all
she had to say.
“But… I warned you more than once about risks you are taking. I am not saying I
don’t understand why you do; growing under Florence’s gimlet eye would make
anyone rebel at least once in a while. And as much as the guy proved himself to
be an ass, this adventure of yours could have been avoided altogether.”
“I don’t see it that way.” Cat protested.
“Of course you don’t, that’s why you keep doing it obviously. But really, in
the very least you should have taken me with you.” Chloé pouted and Catalina
laughed faintly.
“Now that sounds more like you.” She agreed.
“How is the exhibition coming together?” Chloé wanted to know.
“I am very excited to be a part of it. I think the choice of topic is going to
be a hit, mostly because it should display the side of city most are unaware
of.”
“Hate to burst your bubble, but most simply don’t care.” Chloé noticed.
“I hope it will change their views then.”
“You know how proud of you I am? I keep telling people I know
The
C.
Bennett and a few people told me they are going to be there.”
“Well, when I brag about being friends with
The
Chloé, they just want
your phone number.” Cat muttered and they both laughed. “I appreciate your
support, especially since…”
“Don’t do this to yourself, sweetie,” Chloé cut her off. “A day will come when
your grandmother understands there is so much more to you than the social
butterfly she tried to mold you into and that there are other worlds out there beyond
the Upper Crust one.”
“Great speech, wish I had something more to toast it with than a smoothie.” Cat
commented.
“You are getting mean, which means it’s time for a date. Did I tell you I know
this guy who…”
“Save your breath. I am too busy and uninterested.” Catalina’s reaction was
instantaneous.
“And how can you know that if you don’t even give him a chance?” Chloé demanded.
“Fine, maybe after the exhibition then.”
“I see through you, Miss Bennett. But I will have you know my memory works
perfectly and we will get back to this subject right after it and not a minute
later.”
“As much as I believe in persistence, I don’t think it holds quite the same
appeal when work is taken out of the equation.” Catalina said.
“Work this, work that! There is so much more to life than work alone!” Chloé
threw her hands in the air in exasperation.
“Speaking of which… what happened to Todd?”
“Todd!” Chloé pursed her lips. “Even his name was boring.”
“That answers that.” Catalina nodded not surprised in the least.

Todd, Tom, Timothy… the names didn’t matter
at all, because as much as men were flocking to Chloé for the obvious reasons none
wanted to get to know the woman behind the model persona, Cat thought. Most
were superficial and who knew that better than herself?

In her world, or rather in Florence
Bennett’s world, the front veneer was all that mattered. People didn’t care
about what lay beneath and it was a shame really, because in Catalina’s opinion
that was where the crux of every matter was hidden.
“And you ask why I’m not interested in dating?” She taunted her.
“Ah, but it is not about the end result. Sooner or later it’s unavoidable to be
disappointed. To me it is all about the chase and games at the beginning.” She
winked at Cat who only shook her head.
“That’s very cynical.”
“Try modeling and we will see if it won’t turn you cynical. Not all of us
believe in happily ever after. More to the point… it is not meant for
everyone.” Chloé told her and Catalina said nothing because she found no
argument that could refute her friend’s theory.

***

Persistence was the key to everything in
life, the only path she knew how to walk on, Catalina repeated to herself the
same afternoon. It wasn’t something she had ever questioned, but when she found
herself staring at an old, weathered picture she thought that maybe this one
time she should have just let it all go.

Her fingers twitched convulsively at the
mere idea, threatening the precious photography, already touched by unforgiving
time.

She had her mother’s coloring, she marveled
for a thousandth time, surprised and delighted anew. No matter how many times
she had looked at the image of her parents before, each time felt like a gift being
unwrapped all over again.

A gift with a bitter undertone to it,
considering that was all that was left after people who were long gone from
this world.

Catalina knew she owed the stubborn line of
her jaw to her father and was grateful for it, even if it had landed her in
trouble more times than not. If she was being perfectly honest, she was proud
of it each and every single time because in those moments she shared yet
another special bond with her father.

A bond which didn’t die with him on that
horrendous night.

A bond that would live within her as long
as she breathed herself.

These two people smiling at her from the
picture had brought her to life, yet it was getting harder and harder to
remember either one of them along with the love she had for them.

Cat closed her eyes, fighting to recall the
smallest reminiscence, a touch, a scent, but her memory denied her even this
substitute of comfort in a day she needed it more than usual.

Perhaps it was silly to be so broken up
about the camera but she couldn’t shake it off. The senselessness behind Xan’s
act of destroying it felt even worse than the damage itself now.

The camera was her charm, her memento, the
last thread connecting her to the man who was her father. She could swear that
each time she used the Canon, it felt as if he were next to her, keeping watch
and ward over his daughter.

Cat liked to believe that even if he hadn’t
approved of all of her choices, he still would have respected her enough to
support them.

Support her.

Instead of undermining her every step as
was her grandmother’s way. Catalina knew that Florence didn’t have bad intentions;
it was all a matter of Cat wanting to walk her own path. A path that was
nowhere near what the other woman had envisioned for her.

Catalina had spent many years trying to
make her father’s mother happy until she understood it was an impossible feat.
No matter her efforts, Florence had always only pushed for more, not leaving
her even an inch of space to be her own person.

At times it was really hard to believe the
woman gave life to someone as independent and strong-willed as Matthew Bennett.

But even he bent on several occasions,
choosing a career in politics over going after his dreams of becoming a
photographer. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why he tried so hard to
encourage his only child to do what he didn’t follow through on.

Cat often wondered if she hadn’t taken his
advice to heart too strongly.

She gazed down at the photographs of her
parents again. Now all she was left with were those pictures, a few stories and
her mother’s diary from the time she was carrying Catalina under her heart.

But the journal felt too intimate for her
daughter’s eyes. It was hard to read those pages filled with the endless love
Naomi felt toward Matthew Bennett and her unconditional affection for her
unborn child. Uncovering each paragraph felt like sacrilege, making her focus
more on guilt rather than the words alone.

How much different would everything be if
they were still alive?

The question was far from being new; it was
the one she asked herself often over the years while she entertained many
scenarios. There were so many paths her imagination lead her to but no matter
which one was on the forefront of her mind, each chain of events assumed a happy
ending.

A happy ending her family was not granted.

In her version of a fairy tale, they were
still all together and love was more than an empty and unfulfilled void living
within her.

She knew Chloé was right and it was hard to
find something true and real enough that would connect two strangers for life.
But as someone who was a result of such thing, Cat knew that sometimes it did
happen.

However,
connecting
and
staying
together
were two different matters.

She sighed, caressing the picture with
delicate brushes of her thumb wishing just once she could touch the faces of
people who were as much strangers to her now as the idea of affection was.