Dangerous (14 page)

Amy

I stepped out of the cafe and held the door open for Julia’s recruiter friend, Mary.

“Thanks for meeting with me,” I said as she closed the door behind her.

“No problem,” she smiled. “I think I’ve got a few things that might suit you. And I’m not just saying that because you’re Julia’s friend.”

I started to laugh as I glanced around the street for a vacant cab. It was bad timing—at this time on a Friday afternoon, we could be waiting a long time. It was too far to walk. I kept my eyes on the street as I reached into my purse for my cell phone to find the nearest subway station.

Then I saw him.

“Amy? Are you okay?”

Her words were hollow; far away. All of a sudden, it felt like I was under water. I hadn’t seen him since before the break in, but he hadn’t changed. I didn’t know why I was reacting like that, though. He was an asshole. He’d left me while I was in the hospital. I struggled to catch my breath. And he didn’t matter to me anymore, anyway. I had a hot new boyfriend with whom I had far more chemistry than I had with Ben.

But there he was, standing across the street outside some bar I’d never been into. I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing. He was too far away to see me, I figured; it was just by chance that I’d seen him.

I shook my head. Why didn’t I want him to see me? I’d pictured us meeting; of me marching up to him and looking him in the eye and telling him what a cowardly dick he was. I hadn’t just imagined it—I’d longed for this moment. I told myself to walk across that street and tell him what I thought of him. But my legs wouldn’t comply—they were like Jell-O: shaky and unsteady as a newborn deer’s.

“Amy?”

Mary had her hands on my shoulders. I was dimly aware that I needed to make a good impression on her. Luckily, the strange sensation was beginning to fade. I opened my eyes and looked at her concerned face.

“I’m sorry, Mary,” I said, searching my mind for some way to explain it. No matter what I said—reacting to seeing my ex or a side-effect of my injury; it was going to sound bad.

I opened my mouth to continue when my eyes caught a familiar figure in the doorway across the street. I gasped. The doorway behind Ben.

Ryan.

My cell phone dropped out of my hand and smashed apart on the pavement. I stepped backward into the shelter of the cafe door, my heart thumping so hard I was convinced I could hear it.

What the hell?

I grinned nervously at Mary as I forced myself to peep out past the wall and see what they were doing.

Oh, they were still there alright; engaged in deep conversation by the look of it.

“Amy, are you okay? Please. You’re acting really strange.”

Right then, I didn’t care about getting a job or making a good impression on Julia’s connection. There was only one thing I needed to do. And that was get away from there.

They couldn’t know each other. They couldn’t.

But why not? My rational brain asked. It was a big city and they were both natives. Wasn’t it possible that they could have gone to school together or played sport on the same team?

As much as I tried to calm myself, I couldn’t get rid of the unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Amy?”

“Taxi. Now. Please?” I whispered.

My head felt like it was on fire. The pressure was unbelievable. I leaned back against the exposed brick wall as Mary walked to the curb and tried to hail a cab. I must have looked like a crazy mess—I knew from the looks I was getting from passers-by.

I could have cried with relief when a cab pulled up. Mary opened the door for me and I jumped inside, all the time glancing back at the bar. They were gone now, but the pressure in my head was still there. If anything it had gotten worse.

“Thank you,” I hissed, grabbing the door. “I’ll explain everything. I promise.”

Which was a lie. Because at that moment I couldn’t explain it myself.

Ryan

That was the moment the bottom fell out of my world. See, up to then, it had been this conundrum; this problem to tease out. The Soldier had just made it a ticking time bomb.

“What? You want to wait; now you want to get it done as soon as possible. Why now?”

His eyes narrowed.

In my shock, I’d forgotten who I was speaking to. I thought fast, even though my brain was cloudy with dread. Amy wanted to go to a show that night. She’d promised to prepare a mid-winter picnic. I was supposed to be picnicking with the girl I’d just been given twenty-four hours to kill.

“I need to know if something’s come up. With the cops,” I said, as straight-faced as I could manage.

He rolled his eyes. “Max said you were the best.”

“I am.” I didn’t have time for this egotistical gangster’s shit right then. But nor did I want to stare down the barrel of one of his lackey’s pistols. It was hard—all I wanted to do was throw him against the wall and demand to know why he’d changed his mind.

He’d sat on it; he’d done nothing about Amy since the moment he found out she’d survived the first attack. Sure he’d approached Max, but then he’d held off. Now he wanted to hurry? Now?

“This isn’t going to be a problem, is it?” he asked, leaning closer to me.

He wasn’t making a particular effort to keep his voice down, and I found myself glancing around us to make sure nobody else was listening. I resolved then that I’d never work with this guy again. He was lucky to have his connections—without them, I felt sure that he’d have been caught and sent to prison a long time ago. Well, at least if he was this indiscreet about his business all of the time.

“Of course not,” I grunted. “But I need to know if something’s changed. My rate was based on this one being no trouble; not marked by the cops.”

He nodded, gritting his teeth.

“That still the case?”

“Yeah.”

Let her go,
I thought.
Let her go
. For the last ten years, I haven’t thought about anyone but myself. And she chose
now
to get inside my head?

“If I turn up and there’s cops sniffing around…”

To my surprise, he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. “Relax. It’s nothing like that.”

I thought hard. What could have caused his new-found enthusiasm to get the job done if it wasn’t the cops? Whatever it was, I knew one thing for sure. He wasn’t going to share it with me. Behind the gesture of camaraderie was a pair of eyes as cold as ice. I knew what he was thinking—if I didn’t do the job, there were ten, twenty others who’d do it for me.

Suddenly I needed to get away. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow. Same place?”

He nodded.

I took off along the street before I lost my temper and knocked him as unconscious as he’d rendered Amy. But that wouldn’t do me any good. I had to get back to her. Fast.

Amy

“Where to, ma’am?”

I stared at the cab driver, momentarily wondering how I had gotten there. I sobbed. Was I going crazy? I caught his eye in the rearview mirror and shook my head miserably.

“Where to?” he asked again, more impatiently this time.

I reached in my purse and pulled out a twenty. “Eastside,” I gasped.

He didn’t move from the curb. “Address?”

I started to answer, and then time slowed down. Even my hammering heart beat a little slower. My mouth went slack as the haze finally began to clear.

I was dimly aware of the cab driver muttering under his breath as he took off into the swelling late-afternoon traffic. But I didn’t care. I remembered now. Everything. All of it.

I hugged my arms around my waist.

***

It hadn’t been like the cops said. There were no intruders. No threat.

Why didn’t I call Julia?

I shook my head, leaning against the cool window as we inched through traffic. I almost sent the cab driver in the direction where I thought Ben and Ryan were least likely to be. But that was the crazy thing. Earlier, it had seemed strange to see Ben in this part of town.

Now it didn’t.

Everything I’d known about him had been a lie.

And I’d made the stupidest move I’d ever made in my life. I should have run when I had the chance. I shook my head, trying to spur myself into action. Now, here I was trying to rationalize it when I should be putting as much distance between myself and both of them as possible.

“Can I use your cell phone?” I asked, realizing I’d left mine in pieces on the sidewalk.

He looked at me like I was kidding.

“Please,” I whispered. “It’s an emergency.”

Something about my crazy girl expression must have convinced him this was true. “You pay extra.”

I shrugged. It was a small price to pay if it meant I got out of there alive.

I grabbed the phone, my fingers slick with sweat even though the aircon was on full blast. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer of thanks as I tapped in Julia’s number from memory without hesitation. I may not have had a large circle of friends in the city, but sometimes one was enough.

“Julia,” I said when she answered. “It’s me.”

“Amy.” She sounded worried. “Where are you? Are you okay? Mary called. She said you were acting really strange.”

I nodded, cursing myself for not being able to keep it together. “Yeah. Amy, listen. I remember everything. It’s fucked; it’s totally fucked up. Where are you?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, rising panic in her voice.

“Where are you?”

“At work. What’s going on? Tell me. Please.”

I took a deep breath, weighing it up. It was way too much to explain over the phone, but what if they got to me before I could reach her? “Julia I’m coming there. Don’t leave the office.”

“What’s wrong?” she almost wailed.

“3
rd
and State,” I told the driver.

“Amy?”

Don’t freak out,” I said, looking around. Traffic was moving, but slow. We were maybe ten minutes away.

“Tell me, then. God, Amy, you’re—”

“It was Ben,” I said quietly.

“Amy. I don’t understand.”

“There was no break in. Don’t you understand? It was him.”

“He attacked you?” she said. I could hear the skepticism in her voice.

“Yeah. Listen. I’m coming to you. Don’t leave. It’s not safe.”

“Not… safe. Ah, Amy. Are you…”

“I’m not going crazy,” I almost cried. “Please. You have to believe me. Ryan is working with him.”

“Amy,” she said sternly.

I nodded, ignoring the driver’s narrowed eyes in the mirror. This conversation might have been one of the most important I’d ever have in my life. I didn’t care how much he charged me.

“Look, I know it sounds crazy. And I don’t know why I didn’t go to you before he attacked me. I guess I didn’t believe it myself.”

There was shuffling on the other end of the line. She was moving someplace quiet. “Amy. Please. Start from the beginning.”

“Don’t leave the office, Julia. Okay? I’m about five minutes away.”

“I won’t.” I heard her exhale, long and slow. Was she deciding whether or not to believe me? If I couldn’t convince her… that wasn’t an option. I wouldn’t let him harm her because of me.

“Ben isn’t a broker,” I said finally, struggling to organize my thoughts into coherent sentences.

She was silent.

“He’s a criminal. He makes his living hurting people. Not selling stocks to wealthy dentists.”

I expected her to make some wisecrack, but she said nothing. I hoped she was still listening and not calling my doctors to tell them I’d taken a turn for the crazy.

“I never suspected. Well not until the end. And even then I didn’t think it was this... serious. Maybe insider trading or something. He’s a gangster, Jules. Can you believe that?”

She sighed. “I wouldn’t have suspected either,” she said levelly. “How did you find out?”

I closed my eyes and willed myself to remember how our life had been. Ben seemed so normal—he worked late, like me. He had always worn bespoke suits and expensive shoes that I associated with finance guys.

We’d been dating for two years at the point, but we’d only been living together for a few months. And it had been Ben who’d instigated that. I’d been perfectly happy living in my little studio apartment. I wondered why he’d bothered. If I hadn’t found out, would he have kept up the facade for much longer? Was he secretly married? I hadn’t met any of his friends, but I hadn’t thought that was strange. We both worked long hours, and it wasn’t like he’d met my friends very often either.

But I’d begun to suspect something was up. I’d noticed he had a way of evading my questions about his work. I hadn’t even realized it. And once the doubts had been seeded, they’d refused to stop niggling at me. I remembered that day in the office now—that’s why I’d been crying. Ben hadn’t been home in two days, and he hadn’t answered his cell.

I gritted my teeth.

I let him walk all over me. Why didn’t I just leave him?

But I knew why, didn’t I? It was pride. It was stupid pride that had kept me from sharing my suspicions with Julia—I had wanted so much it to be my imagination.  My dream of the perfect relationship had been the most important thing to me—well, guess what? It had almost cost me my life.

“How did you know?” Julia pressed.

I felt a flicker of doubt when I heard her tone. Was it possible…? I shook my head. That was the problem when your entire world was turned on its head—how did you know who to trust?

“Julia? Can I trust you?”

“Of course,” she whispered, her voice full of anguish.

I debated for a moment. Had he gotten to her too? Should I tell the driver to turn around and go to the airport?

“Amy?”

But what kind of life was that, running away from everyone I’d ever known?

“I came home early one afternoon,” I said, drawing the words out. “And he was there. I could hear him walking around the lounge. I was just about to go surprise him when I heard someone else speak. Cold. Hostile. I was literally just about to barrel through the door, but it made me stop. So fast I almost stumbled.”

I breathed a sigh that was both relief and foreboding. If I’d hit that door they would have heard me. And it might have all been different now. That other man. The cold one. He wouldn’t have left me for dead; he’d have made sure the job was done.

“I stayed outside for a second or two. That’s all. Our bedroom is—was—just down the hall so I went there. Lay on the bed. Felt like an idiot then. I was always telling Ben he should bring some of his colleagues over for dinner.

“I got up and marched to the door, determined to play the part of the welcoming banker’s wife. I was an idiot for reacting that way solely on the basis of the guy’s voice, I told myself. But, Jules.” I paused. “If you’d heard it. It was cold.”

The cab pulled up outside Julia’s building and I threw the rest of the fare at him, almost leaving with his cell.

“Meet me at the security desk?” I whispered, before hanging up.

I closed the door and ran across the sidewalk to her building, taking the steps two at a time. It felt irrational to be more afraid on the street than in a cab, but I felt more exposed.

Had I told Ben where she worked? Or Ryan?

What had I told them?

By the time I reached the security desk, an ashen-faced Julia was already there.

“Amy,” she said, taking me into her arms.

I fell against her gratefully, with the false sense that everything was going to be okay. I glanced at the desk. There were two guards there, but even then I didn’t feel safe.

“Is there someplace we can go?”

She nodded.

I took the temporary pass the guard handed me and signed the register with a made-up name. “If two guys come looking for me…” I said haltingly. “Don’t tell them…”

Julia took my hand and squeezed it.

“You’ll understand when…”

She pulled me along to the elevators. When we were alone inside she turned to me. Her eyes were red and puffy.

“Jules, I’m not crazy,” I said as calmly as I could.

She bit her lip. “What happened? You were telling me about the guy with the cold voice.”

I nodded. “Okay. Yeah. They were in the apartment and I was going back to the lounge telling myself not to be paranoid. The guy was a banker, right? The only danger he posed was to the financial system. Not to me. But then…”

I stopped. I could see it clearly in my mind.

I had reached the door. I was almost there when it flew open. It opened out, so all I could see was the door. But that was enough to make me stop. It was the force of it. It wasn’t like Ben. He was usually so calm and measured. That made me uneasy. I started to think my first instinct had been right, even though at that point I didn’t understand what was happening. I started moving backward, as quiet as I could. As I reached our bedroom, the strangest sound came from the lounge. Like the thwack of a tennis ball, only softer.

I’d never heard it in real life before. And I didn’t realize what it was. Until seconds later, when someone fell through the open doorway into the corridor.

I’d never seen him before.

And there he was, writhing on my carpet.

I didn’t stay to see what happened next—survival mode kicked in. I’d left the bedroom door open. I sidestepped inside, confident that he hadn’t seen me. But I didn’t feel any safer. I was frozen with fear; unable to move. Had the door been open when I got home? Or closed?

I was hovering there when I heard the voices. It took me a while to realize what that meant—there had been three of them. It was the cold-voiced guy who spoke. He was barking instructions at Ben as if it was something he did every day. Ben sounded agitated.

I leaned against the wall, flattening myself as much as possible. I didn’t want to listen. But I did.

My boyfriend had just killed someone. In our apartment.

And I needed to know why.

I couldn’t make out everything they were saying, but I caught bits and pieces. Ben kept insisting that they weren’t meant to do it here. Not in his house. Cold-voice disagreed. He needed to be done. Before things got out of hand. From what they were saying, I thought maybe they were talking about some drug deal gone wrong. They talked about shipments. About him failing to keep his end of the deal.

Then the words that almost made my heart stop.

“What if she finds out?”

“What do you care?” cold-voice asked, without an ounce of emotion in his tone.

Ben stuttered. I didn’t catch his answer, but maybe that had more to do with the fact that my pulse was hammering in my ears. My whole world had been turned upside down, but I wasn’t totally naive. I could figure out what those words meant.

If they caught me, I was dead.

I stared around the room, paralyzed by fear and terror. In the midst of that, I had the strangest feeling. You know, like when you’re getting waxed and you need to stay still? I kept thinking, what if I just burst out laughing? What then?

Luckily I got it together. We’d only been living there for a few months, so it was hard to picture the layout of the apartment in relation to the rest of the building. Whatever way I ran through it, though, there was no way for me to get out without going directly past them. The corridor led off in a semicircle from the main door. The lounge was directly opposite that door. There was nowhere for me to go.

“Where the hell did you go?” Julia asked, leaning forward.

By now we were sitting in a conference room on her floor of the building. I felt safer now: this level was only accessible by keycard. I knew that would do little to keep out someone like Ben, but I clung on to it nonetheless.

I shrugged. “Nowhere. I was too afraid to go hide in the bathroom or the closet, just in case the doors squeaked. So I hid behind the door in our bedroom. I didn’t even dare call the cops in case they heard.”