Dangerous Lovers (21 page)

The bitch had the nerve to try to punch me, but I stumbled out of the way and kicked her in the hard in the back, sending her face-first to the ground. The kick made me fall over too, though, and I couldn’t seem to regain my footing. Someone caught me from behind before I hit the ground and jerked me to my feet.

I looked back to see that it was Kayden. I tried to jerk out of his grasp, but he began hauling me toward the exit. Another Warrior had taken hold of Victoria and was leading her out as well.

“Guys, it’s okay,” Tommy said to the Warriors. “Let Alexa stay. She’s my date.”

Kayden shook his head. “I’m sorry, Thomas, but Lord Caslon specifically stated that there are to be no altercations. Troublemakers are to be removed.” He glanced at the drink in Tommy’s hand with barely hidden disgust. “A condition of allowing the alcohol.”

I shot a look at Kayden, who just kept dragging me toward the exit. I wasn’t the troublemaker here; she had started it. The others started to follow us outside, but I told them to stay. I wanted to have a word with Kayden. Who the hell did he think he was—my father? I was also pretty embarrassed about being tossed out, and I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do in my drunken state.

When we got outside, the Warrior escorting Victoria released her and told her to head back to her dorm. She had a few parting words for me.

“See you around, Warrior,” she spat.

I smiled, my knees going weak. If Kayden hadn’t been holding me up, I might have fallen over right there. “I look forward to it.”

I thought Kayden was going to release me, too. Instead, he led me out to a spot on the large lawn where a stone bench sat near a fountain.

“Sit,” he ordered.

“I’m not a dog,” I snapped, but I sat down anyway because I was finding it difficult to stand on my own.

I looked up at him, and he looked just a gorgeous as I remembered. Maybe even more so, but that may have had something to do with the fact that I was blasted out of my mind. His hair was pulled back from his face tonight in a short blond ponytail on the back of his head. He had shaved, I noticed, though he still had a handsome amount of facial hair covering his strong jaw and presently downturned mouth. His golden eyes were watching me with that intensity that always made my breath short.

“What?” I slurred. “The picture I gave you not satisfying your need?” I knew I sounded stupid, but the thin filter that I usually had to keep me from speaking my mind had disintegrated into nothing.

“You’re drunk,” he replied.

I rolled my eyes. “Well, aren’t we observant?” I took out a cigarette and lit it up.

He moved so fast that it took me a second to realize he was standing over me. I squared my shoulders and tilted my head back so I could look him right in the eyes, refusing to be intimidated. His gaze was so dark and serious that I had to clench my fists so that I wouldn’t flinch.

“Why?” he asked in a low voice.

“Why what?”

“Why do you insist on doing things that are destructive to you?”

I raised my eyebrows, experiencing a momentary loss of brain function with him being so close to me. I crossed my arms and returned his stare. “I am not self-destructive.”

“Oh, really? Then why are you picking fights with Wolves, smoking cigarettes, and completely drunk?”

Anger welled up in me, and I shot to my feet and glared up at him. His proximity made my frustration fade a little, but I was still very much pissed off. “How dare you stand there and throw judgments at me. You cannot possibly understand why I do the things I do.”

He gripped my arms gently, and his touch made my anger fade a little more. “Then, explain to me, Alexa. Why do you cause harm to yourself?”

I tried not to answer him. I tried really hard, but while staring straight into his golden eyes and with him touching me, I knew that was a losing battle. Maybe it was an effect of the alcohol, but I doubted it. He always made me want to pour my heart out, which was the reason I’d told him to stay away from me in the first place.

I dropped my head and took a slow breath. “Because sometimes… Sometimes I have to let it out somehow. It’s like I walk around with a fire inside of me, and the slightest spark can set me off.” I took a breath. “You saw what I did to Daniel. You’ve seen how I react to even the tiniest insult. I can’t help it. I try to control myself, but this raw anger grips me, and then I can’t seem to think straight.”

Kayden closed the distance between us and rested his chin on my head. Wrapping his arms around me, he exhaled slowly. “Oh, Alexa.”

His warmth surrounding me, I felt my anger completely dissipate. I felt happy, like I always did when he held me. I knew I had missed him, but the intensity of those feelings seemed to smack me in the face as I stood in his arms. I wanted to just close my eyes and go to sleep, because everything seemed like it was right in the world. The cigarette I’d been holding fell soundlessly to the ground.

Someone behind me cleared their throat, and Kayden and I broke apart abruptly. Just like that the moment was over. I turned around to see Nelly standing there.

She looked embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She gave me a significant look and jerked her chin toward the house. A few seconds later, Jackson and Daniel came out of the front door and started heading in our direction.

I smiled
a
thank you
at her. I didn’t consider myself Jackson’s girlfriend, but I did like him. He was a wonderful guy, and I didn’t want to think about what would have happened if he would have stepped outside and seen me and Kayden in an embrace. Nelly always had my back.

When they reached us, Jackson flicked his eyes between Kayden and me, and then his gaze settled on me. “You alright, darling?” he drawled, flicking his eyes back to Kayden.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I just need to lie down.”
Before I pass out on the very comfortable-looking grass
.

Jackson came over and hooked his arm around my back. “I figured. I came to walk you back.”

“I’ll be fine. You guys shouldn’t leave because of me.”

Jackson gave me a look that said he’d have no argument. “Why would I want to stay if you’re leaving? Come on, let’s get you back.” “Where’s Tommy?” I asked.

“It’s his house, he can’t just leave. Besides, he’s obliterated.” Jack shrugged. “Who cares anyway? I’m here.”

Before we headed out, I turned to back to Kayden. He was already heading back toward the house. “See you around,” I mumbled.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

I fell into a deep sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The next morning, I had a terrible headache, and my stomach felt like it might decide to turn itself inside-out. I showered and got dressed anyway, hoping that a nice run would help me to recover. It was funny, I had always thought I hated running. But now that my mother wasn’t here to insist that I do it, my body seemed to insist for her.

I stopped by Nelly’s dorm to see if she wanted to join me. I was surprised when I opened the door to find her lacing up her tennis shoes.

“Hey, where are you going?” I asked.

She looked me up and down. “I was just about to come see if you wanted to go for a run with me,” she said.

I smiled. “You read my mind.”

Her hazel eyes lit up. “No, I didn’t. But we haven’t gone on a run in while, and I thought maybe I could use it.”

We headed out, running to no place in particular, and I realized how much I’d missed doing this with her. It was a beautiful day outside and the sun shone brightly above us. We ran until we came to a large lake and then we both stopped to take a rest.

Sitting down in the grass, I admired the beauty around us. The sky was perfectly blue with only a few wispy clouds scattered here and there. The air felt warm and fresh, and a sweet breeze cooled us as we sat side by side.

“You seem happy this morning,” Nelly commented.

I lay back on the grass and my smile grew even more. “I am,” I told her truthfully.

Her brow creased for a moment, and I raised my eyebrows. “What?”

She shook her head and offered me one of her award-winning smiles. “Nothing.”

I sat up and looked at her, waiting for an answer.

She blew out a heavy breath. “I just can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with seeing Kayden last night.”

I opened my mouth to tell her that that had nothing to do with it, but stopped when I considered what she was saying. I did always feel better after being with him, so maybe he had a stronger effect on my moods than I had noticed. I really liked Jackson. He made me happy, but he didn’t make the anger that was always inside of me go away the way Kayden did. Even Nelly, whom I loved more than anything, and whom I enjoyed being around more than anyone, didn’t make me happy the way Kayden did. He made me happy in a very different way, a way that made me feel balanced and complete. This realization was as shocking as it was scary.

I turned to Nelly. “Do you think that he, like, put a spell on me or something?”

It was a ridiculously crazy conclusion to jump to, but really, what wasn’t crazy about all of this? I still couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t human.

She considered this and then slowly shook her head. “I don’t think so. I think I would have seen that.”

“How would you have seen it?”

A guilty look came over her face. “Don’t be mad, okay?”

“I hate when you say that.”

“Well, just don’t be. I Searched him a while ago, when I first started to notice the effect he seemed to have on you.”

“How did you manage that? I thought you had to be touching someone to Search them.”

Her mouth turned up in a small smile. “It’s not easy, but it is possible. Most Searchers can only skim the surface if they aren’t making physical contact with the person—and sometimes not even then— depending on how strong the person’s walls are. Kayden keeps his walls firm, so it took a lot of concentration on my part. I’m not sure if a regular Searcher could’ve done it.”

I held up my hand. “Wait, so there is a way to keep someone from Searching you? To put up some kind of wall? Why wouldn’t you tell me that? I would’ve tried to build one, or whatever.”

“Because, your walls are already as impenetrable as they get. I think it has something to do with you being a Warrior.”

I furrowed my brow. “That’s not true, Akira Searched me, so did the queen, and you do it all the time.”

She shook her head. “You gave them permission to. You let down your walls so that they were able to. And I don’t really Search you that much. You’re my sister, and I just
know
you better than anyone else. The only reason I was able to access your memories the other night was because you were really vulnerable at the time. Plus, you let down your guard a little around me. Trust me, no one can Search you unless you want them to.”

I took this all in, making a mental note to do a little more research later on. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “So… what did you see?”

I didn’t have to explain, Nelly was almost always on the same page as me. She hesitated, though, and I got the feeling that she was deciding whether or not to tell me. After a few long moments, she sighed. “I’m not sure. The first time I Searched him, it was so strange because what I saw reminded me of…”

I tilted my head. “Reminded you of what?”

“Well, it reminded me of you, of when I Search
you
. You both carry so much pain inside of you, and it burns so bright that sometimes it’s painful just to see it. It’s like staring into the sun, glorious and impossible at the same time. And until I met Kayden, I had never seen anything like that in anyone other than you.”

I plopped back down on the grass, trying to take in what she was saying, but she continued. “Then last night, when I saw you two holding each other, I did another Search. It was easier than it usually is because both of you had your walls completely down. I’ve never seen you so open before.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “And I watched the fire that usually burns inside of you both… lessen. The burning feeling I get when I usually see it wasn’t so bad. It was like you guys took the pain from each other. Like you guys balanced each other out, just by touching. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen… It scared me a little too.”

That made two of us. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I didn’t say anything at all. I’d known that Kayden made me feel open and vulnerable. I had even known that I was always happy when he was around, but I hadn’t known that I took some of his hurt away too. I was beginning to think I may have made a very bad choice by telling him to stay away from me.

I cleared the lump that seemed to be forming in my throat. “What does that mean?”

She looked over at me, her hazel eyes bright with concern. “I’m not sure, Lex. I really don’t know.”

Nelly hopped up and held out her hand for me. I took it and stood up. “Where are we going?”

She smiled. “I’m supposed to have lunch with Daniel. You’re welcome to come if you want.”