DARK SOULS (Dark Souls Series) (28 page)

“Well, I thought that since you were around here anyway, you’d just want to crash here, maybe catch an early breakfast with me when I come back?” My voice went higher at the end of my question. I couldn’t help it. I was stretching the truth, big time.

“And why do I have to be here for that?”

“Because there’s no way to get you out of bed other than physically dragging you from it.” I grabbed at the excuse, finding my rhythm. “If you were in your dorm, you’d make it impossible for me to get through your homemade barricades.”

“Huh. You might actually have a point.” Macy fiddled with her borrowed hat, tipping it to the side before she stared hard at me. “But you know you’re really weird lately, right?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Really weird.”

I tensed a little at her tone, grabbing my jacket off the foot of the bed. I tried to laugh. “Weirder than usual, you mean?”

“You’re not meeting Ettie to bake bread. Come on, Ems.” Macy sat up straight again, leaning closer to me. “My bad influence has convinced you to ditch work on many occasions, and you’ve never, ever, wanted to make it up to Ettie by showing up at four in the morning to bake.” She waved a hand at me as she stood up. “You and I both know you’d burn that damn bread within seconds.”

I stayed where I was, unsure what to say. She’d caught me in a lie, now I just needed to figure out where she was going with it.

“You’ve been so quiet, so closed off. Sneaking around, avoiding me. Withdrawn.” She put her hands on her hips as she studied me. “Looking pale, clearly not paying attention to any make-up tips I’m giving you.” She walked forward and stood in front of me, putting her hands on both my shoulders. “Darling Ems, you forget I’m a psych minor.”

She was almost nose-to-nose with me, grounding me to the floor with her hands. I tried to keep my body still, but I was shaking. “I’m sorry, I know. I can explain…”

“No explanation needed.” She let go and began to walk in a slow circle around me. It seemed that Macy was taking full advantage of her spy clothing. “I already know what it is.”

She stopped suddenly, whipping around before poking a finger into my chest. “You’re puppy-eyed, drooly-mouthed, flush-faced…” She flashed a huge smile before finishing in a sing-song voice, “in
luuurve
.”

My mouth dropped open. “What?”

“Yep. You’re sneaking off to go meet a boy.”

This time I really did laugh. With relief. “I’m not going to go secretly meet a mysterious boyfriend! Don’t sound so excited. I really am meeting Ettie.”

Macy pouted in disappointment before she fell back onto my bed, interrogation complete.

“I could have sworn you were going to say you were meeting Asher,” she said.

Hearing his name felt like a punch to my stomach. “Sorry to disappoint you, Mace.”

Sighing elaborately, Macy grabbed a magazine off of my nightstand and began to read. “Fine, fine. I can’t tell if you’re being really boring, or if you’re actually going to go do something really mysterious. But I’ll participate in your little game nonetheless.”

I smiled through the sweat beginning to dampen my brow. “I appreciate it. The room is yours—oh, and make sure you walk by my windows now and again, okay?”

“Sure thing, weirdo,” she said as she flipped a page.

I waved good-bye and shut my door behind me, creeping down the darkened hallway. Once I descended all five flights, I took a quick peek outside the main door and sure enough, there was Gwyn, perched on the hood of her car as she stared up at my apartment. I counted myself lucky that she wasn’t on the fire escape, looking in as I left. She probably assumed I was sleeping.

Knowing she couldn’t see me but wanting to do it for my own gratification, I stuck my tongue out at her and flipped her the finger before turning around and sneaking out the backdoor.

As I exited out into the back alley, dodging piles of trash bags, I was surprised by how cold it was before I remembered that it was now mid-November. Time was moving much too fast for me these days. Clouds cascaded across the sky, creating a dark, starless night, but instead of shivering underneath such black cover, I wanted to make the most of it.

I wanted to track down some demons. I still needed to kill them; I still needed the darkness. She twittered around inside me in excitement, my deteriorating body vibrating with the need to release her at the same time my mind warned me to keep her in a dark cage, never to be released. My internal conflict was quickly becoming both the bane and the very reason for my survival, and I still had so many questions, even in such a weakened state.   

Derek’s desertion forced me to learn that I could only rely on myself, and I had to start being proactive and stop being a scared little girl, unsure of her abilities and even more afraid of the possibilities.

Yes
, she approved. Finally, she was detecting the strength in me.

The night settled over me like black velvet as I shifted into the shadows. I jumped a flimsy wooden fence separating the apartment building behind mine.

I had to shimmy down a thin alley in order to get to 2
^nd
Street, and while I sideways-walked between the two brick walls, looking like a rumpled starfish with my hands and legs spread out for balance, I cursed Gwyn for forcing me into this position. What happened to the days when I could just walk out my front door and kill a demon?

When I popped out of the alley, I glanced around, seeing no Gwyn in sight. I pictured her still gazing up at my apartment, thinking I was much too stupid to ever try to evade her.

Well think again, bitch.

I walked east towards 1
^st
Avenue, feeling the demon energies buzz around me like bees, ripe for the picking. I decided to try and sniff out one of the stronger ones. According to Derek, I had merely been dealing with the lower castes of demons, the weakest of the bunch, save for my brief scuffle with the winged demon that didn’t really teach me anything. If I were to learn anything more at this point, the frailer, punier demons just wouldn’t do.

I still didn’t know what became of the winged demon that had attacked Asher, and I doubted Gwyn or Asher would ever decide to enlighten me. It was yet another question I would have to answer later, when I had gathered enough courage to break through their mental barriers, or even when I had gathered enough knowledge to locate a flaw in those barriers so I could crack them a little.

Tonight, however, just before the early light of dawn, I didn’t want to think about Gwyn anymore. I didn’t want to keep dwelling on Asher. I was only focused on one thing: nourishment. I sorted through my thoughts and put a soft, plush blanket of silence over my internal struggle over Asher and gently stashed him away in the back of my mind. With my mind cleared, I found it easier to separate the demon energies surrounding me, some only barely grazing my radar, while others throbbed strongly against me, the forces almost tangible pinpricks against my skin.

This time, I slipped easily into the darkness inside me as she came forward, closing my eyes. I sensed her willingness to cooperate, for her feelings were my own as she languished inside me. We were both in deep need of sustenance and survival, despite our divergence with each other. I couldn’t survive without her, nor could she without me. I couldn’t fight against the cold temptation to bring her forward, to allow her to nourish my body. I could no longer avoid what I was.

Derek had deserted me, Asher had left me empty, and my mother had left me tormented. The darkness was the only one that stayed; she was the only one who understood my anguish. In return, I needed to accept her, to hold her as she held me.

I needed to embrace the dark.

I braced against her impact as she veiled my mind, her fingers black tendrils of smoke as they unfurled down my arms and arched my fingers. When my eyes opened, they were once again hers.

She stretched, appreciating the feel of my skin on hers while I welcomed the burn as she entered my veins and traveled throughout my body.

She understood my need to try with a stronger demon. In fact, she relished the challenge.

Of course, she wasn’t afraid. I walked with her as she glided down the sidewalk, soundlessly, predatorily. I watched as her head moved from side to side, assessing, targeting. This time I felt myself move with her instead of against her, giving into her needs and making them my own. In acceptance, she allowed me to have partial control. We were both working together as we crossed 1
^st
Avenue and continued to Avenue A, the beginning of Alphabet City. We were looking for pockets of danger, and this area would be ripe with it, especially with no sunlight to smooth out the cracked ridges of buildings or illuminate the deep crevices of the streets.

The unsettled lurked here, troubled minds, possessed souls. It was perfect.

I felt the power cloak our body at the same time she did. The source was close by, wandering down the same side street we were and observing the one or two darkened boutique windows peppered in with the residences in lazy boredom.

We walked towards it confidently and without fear, our eyes and legs steady as we walked and targeted. When the demon came within our sights, just before we reached Avenue A, I internally stiffened.

No.

It was a child.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

She couldn’t have been more than ten years old, her blonde hair cascading in waves across her shoulders and down her back. She had the tiniest pink barrette clipped to the side of her hair, pulling her bangs delicately across her smooth, flawless forehead. She reminded me of a doll, complete with her pretty clothing. She was dressed exactly like a child’s plaything, in a white shirt with frilled cap sleeves and a pink skirt that puffed out at the sides, revealing a delicate line of pink lace at the bottom. On her feet were white Mary Jane shoes, the socks peeking out of them curled with white lace.

And, of all things to do so early on a Monday morning, even in the city that never sleeps, she was sucking on a bright red lollipop.

We had drawn her attention, and she looked over at us with indifference, her cheeks pulled in over the lollipop as she regarded us flatly and with eyes no ten-year-old should possess. Eyes I knew all too well.

She walked back up the steps that had led her to a storefront basement nestled just below the sidewalk. “You don’t belong here,” she said, talking through the lollipop in her mouth.

“
Neither do you
,” we whispered back, our voice melting in the wind.

She perked up with interest once we spoke. “I haven’t seen one of your kind before.”

I could feel my body glowing, swaying, though my feet remained steady on the ground. “
I am the last thing you will ever come across.
”

The child whooped with laughter. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

I couldn’t say I did. But the darkness knew. “
I can’t wait to devour you.”

The child’s face changed, her once sweet little gaze morphing into one of angry revulsion, her features almost melting into one another as her skin stretched and popped to reveal two sunken, hollowed out eyes. Two long fangs, like forceps, grew out of her mouth and down her chin. The face on her skin seemed to sink in on itself and dissolve, revealing bloodied strips of white sinew in its place. Yet, despite her horrific, decaying appearance, she remained the same size, her head barely reaching my chest. As much as I wanted to immediately destroy this little demon, the hunger inside me getting stronger the closer I got to my next meal, I had to control myself.

She’s just a child
, I thought.
I can’t be responsible for the killing of a child.

This is no child
, the darkness whispered back.

As if on cue, the child zipped forward, so fast that I didn’t react in time to avoid her hitting my knees with such force that I could feel my bones crunch beneath.

I howled with pain but my true voice made no sound, as my mouth was no longer my own. The darkness fought against the pain and internally yowled as she snapped back into standing position and shot out my leg, dropkicking the demon child a few feet away.

Before the child could blink, my darkness was already moving forward, quick as a snake, my hands outstretched and ready to strike.

The child was ready for me, already on her feet and her mouth wide as she grabbed me by the arm, lifted me up, and slammed me back down to the earth. I moaned silently in pain as the darkness within me lifted up my arm and hurtled my elbow towards the child’s face. I felt the delicate bones crumble under the force.

She’s just a child!
I screamed as the child-demon wailed in agony.

Do you want to survive?

Again, I was up on my feet and shot forward to crash against the demon, sending us through the basement storefront window and onto the floor, glass shards and shattered pieces of chinaware covering us as we rolled and fought around the shrapnel. I landed with my foot pressed down on the child-demon’s neck. She was not about to concede however, and latched her little hands around my ankle and twisted it—hard. I felt my tendons pop and snap as she dislocated my ankle and held it firm at an unnatural angle.

Angered, my dark flame continued to press my dislocated foot down on the child-demon’s neck, the pain practically short-circuiting my mind. In an unexpected defense, the child curled her neck sideways and sank her teeth into the flank of my shin, her fangs piercing the denim easily and hitting bone.

This time, even my darkness screamed as what felt like hot poison shot from her fangs, ripping through my leg and straight into my heart. Even though every fiber of my being screamed for me not to do it, my body crumbled, my legs pitching forward, and landed on my knees.

With my heart pounding and my breath hitching with every intake of air, I knew I was in trouble. I could feel my body weakening and atrophying as the poison took hold. I could feel the darkness flailing.