Daybreak: The Days of Redemption Series, Book One (8 page)

“May I help you?” A lovely blond-haired girl about Elsie’s and Viola’s age approached as Lorene gently closed the door behind her.

Here went nothing. “I’m looking for John Miller. Is he in?”

“Mr. Miller?”

“Yes. There’s a personal matter I need to speak to him about.”

Still looking doubtful, the girl turned around and went into a back room. “He’ll be right out,” she said when she returned.

“Danke.”

Then, out came John Miller and her heart seemed to race. His blond hair was shorter than she remembered, but his posture was just as straight and proud. Furthermore, his cheeks were still clean-shaven, signifying that Frank was right—he’d never married. And even from across the room, she noticed that his eyes were as mesmerizing as ever, a dark green as deep as the forest.

He strode toward her, his handsome face looking professional and calm. But then he stopped and stared. “Lorene?”

“Yes. Hi, John.”

He approached her far more slowly. So slowly, she felt like he wished he were walking backward. So slowly, the girl who worked for him couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything else but the two of them.

When he was about two feet in front of her, he stopped. Looked her up and down. “Katie said you had something to say of a personal nature. What could it possibly be?”

His tone was cool. His expression was mistrustful. And after all this time, full of hurt.

Her mouth went dry, and she felt twice the fool. What had she expected? That he was going to see her and run into her arms?

She backed up a step. “You know what? I think I just made a big mistake. Bigger even than the one I made ten years ago. I’m so sorry, John. I mean, I’m so sorry to trouble you.” Turning, she practically ran to the door.

It didn’t escape her notice that John didn’t try to follow. Well, what had she expected? She’d practically made it a lifelong pursuit to avoid him for the last ten years. Had she really thought he’d suddenly pursue her now that she’d shown up to talk to him?

Was she truly that full of herself?

As she slowly walked back to Kim’s car, Lorene wondered if she was far more like her mother than she’d thought.

“I just don’t understand why Ed is so stubborn,” Viola exclaimed. “And argumentative! Every time I say something, he acts like he’s getting ready to disagree.”

Giving their aunt Lorene a not-too-subtle look, Elsie paused in her stirring. She and her twin were putting together a big dish of macaroni salad while across the kitchen, Aunt Lorene was chopping squash and sweet potatoes for a casserole for supper. Sam and Mary Beth and their children were coming over.

“I saw that look,” Viola quipped.

“What look?” Elsie replied, not too innocently.

“You know . . .”

“It could be that we’re a little busy at the moment,” Lorene murmured. “The moment I got here, your mother was putting the roasters in the oven.” Yes, everything in their house was in a great uproar, thanks to her grandmother’s revelation. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells, too.

Except for Elsie. She seemed to be greatly amused by Viola’s complaining. “Sounds like Ed made quite an impression on you,” Elsie said.

“A bad impression.”

“Perhaps,” Elsie said with a secret smile.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Only that you seem to mention this man a lot. I mean a lot, considering that you don’t care for him too much.”

“I like his father. And I worry about him. Here he is spending every evening in the retirement home instead of his own house.”

“Didn’t you tell me Mr. Swartz didn’t want to leave the retirement home while Edward was here?”

“Well,
jah,
” she said grudgingly.

“And, though I haven’t met Mr. Swartz, I’ve gotten the impression that he doesn’t do much he doesn’t want to do.”

“He’s no pushover, for sure.”

Elsie added the last of the macaroni and stirred. “Then why are you upset about this?”

“I’m not upset. I am just saying that I think a son ought to do more for his parents. That’s all.”

“Viola, I have to agree with your sister,” Aunt Lorene said, her voice laced with merriment. “You can’t seem to stop talking about Edward Swartz. And so far nothing he’s been doing sounds terrible. Every person has to go out and make their life. I imagine his life in the mission field hasn’t been an easy one.”

“Probably not. Though I don’t exactly know what he was doing over there. His letters to his father talked mostly about the vegetation and weather.”

“Maybe you should talk to him about that,” she said as she pushed one casserole dish to the side, then began chopping up stalks of celery.

“Oh, right.” She looked up as her aunt’s tone finally filtered through. “You’re teasing me.”

“Just a little bit,” Lorene said in that gentle way of hers. “And, there’s nothing wrong with being smitten with a handsome man like Ed, who’s had an interesting life, too. He sounds
good gukkich
.”

Viola felt her cheeks heat by the comment. It was true, she did find Edward terribly handsome. She also liked how he was no pushover. He stood up to her easily and kept her on her toes. But she’d hoped that she could have kept her feelings a secret for a little longer.

Besides, looks only counted for so much. Hadn’t her mother told her that time and again? “I am most certainly not smitten with Edward. He just happens to be on my mind,” she said airily. “I’m only warning you both about him.”

Elsie blinked. “Because?”

“Because he is exasperating.”

Lorene and Elsie exchanged amused glances. “Because?” Elsie asked again.

“Because he’s a man who isn’t shy about stating his mind. He gives opinions without the slightest bit of prompting.”

Elsie’s smile turned into a full-fledged grin. “Hmm. Sounds like someone else I know.”

Viola knew this had to be a terrible mistake, bringing Edward’s name into her house. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him! About how he was continually baiting her.

Or about how he’d stayed close to her side the whole time they were walking with those pies in their arms. Or how he’d grinned as his father had stared at the pies like they were the most amazing things on earth.

No matter how difficult she found him to be, there was no denying that he loved his father very much.

“Sorry. I’ll stop talking about him.”

“I hope you don’t. It’s fun to hear about someone new.” After a look behind her, Elsie lowered her voice. “Besides, it’s a
verra
nice change from what everyone else is focused on.”

Only because their mother was in the barn, supervising Roman and their father unloading the church benches for next Sunday’s services did Viola dare mention the elephant in the room. “Have you spoken to Mommi about being English? I’ve been dying to know why she’s been keeping her past a secret all this time.”

“She hasn’t said a word to me,” Elsie murmured. “But I haven’t asked, either. I’m afraid to.”

Lorene chuckled. “Viola, has this preoccupation of Edward ruined your mind? There’s no way on earth any of us is going to badger my mother about her secret life without the others there, too.”

Viola winced. Her aunt’s voice was tinged with bitterness. “Do you think any of your other brothers had any idea that Grandmother was raised English?”

“I promise you, none of us had any idea. We all grew up thinking that our mother was as close to perfect as a person could get . . . and that we would never measure up.”

“Perhaps some secrets should be kept secrets,” Elsie said quietly.

“Not that kind of secret!” Viola said. “Aunt Lorene, is that why Uncle Samuel and Aunt Mary Beth are coming over?”

“But of course. We hope to talk to our parents this evening. No matter what the secret is, it’s better for it to be out in the open.”

“I want to be there, too. I think we should all go talk to Mommi and tell her that she has to tell us the whole story.”

Lorene shook her head. “It’s not that easy. And because of that, I certainly don’t think the two of you or Roman needs to be there.”

“We’re not
kinner
anymore, Aunt Lorene,” Elsie pointed out. “We’ve been affected by this as well.”

Viola piggybacked on her twin’s statement. “If all of this comes out in the open, some members in the community will certainly have plenty to say.”

“That is true.”

After another quick glance at the door, Viola said, “Have you talked to any of my aunts and uncles?”

“I talked to Sam and Mary Beth, of course.” Biting her lip, she added, “By now I’m sure everyone else in the family knows. Samuel said he was going to leave messages on the rest of the family’s phones.”

Looking apprehensive, Viola pulled some rolls out of the oven. “What did Uncle Sam and Aunt Mary Beth think?”

“They were as stunned as me. I’m afraid Samuel was terribly upset. I guess he was good friends with an
Englischer
during his
rumspringa
. Mamm and Daed gave him a lot of grief for hanging out with people ‘not like us.’ ”

Elsie winced. “Ouch.”

Lorene thought that comment said it all. “That’s what I thought, too, dear,” she said wryly. “Anyway, Sam says he’s going to have a lot to say tonight.”

“What about you?” Viola asked. “Are you planning to say a lot, too?”

“Nee.”

“Why not?” Elsie asked.

After a long moment, she said, “It’s no secret that I don’t have a terribly good relationship with my
mamm.
This is just making it harder. I don’t have much to say, not anymore. I think it would be best if I keep my head in the sand instead. Even though it’s nothing to be proud of, for sure.”

“What happened with you two?” Viola blurted. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

As Aunt Lorene looked like she was struggling to answer, Elsie glared at her. “What happened with Aunt Lorene is none of our business, Viola.”

Only her twin could make her feel shame like this. “I’m sorry. Elsie’s right. Please, forget I asked.”

Her backing off seemed to help Lorene. Shrugging, she said, “Actually, now that I think about it, it’s not that big of a secret. Only painful.” She sighed. “The problems with Mamm go back to ten years ago. I was seeing a man I really liked. My mother didn’t think he was suitable but I disagreed.”

“What happened? Did you see him anyway?”

“Why was he unsuitable?” Elsie added.

Viola heaped on another question. “Was he not Amish?”

“Oh, you two. Sometimes when you twins start finishing each other’s thoughts, it can be maddening!” After a moment, she said, “John was Amish, but he was . . . scruffy. And I was tempted to see him more. . . .”

Elsie pushed the dish she was filling away. “I’m not even going to pretend I’m interested in cooking right now. Tell us more.”

“What do you mean, he was scruffy?” Viola asked.

Lorene frowned. “Goodness, perhaps saying he was scruffy wasn’t the kindest way to describe him. He was a
gut
man, but a bit rough around the edges. He didn’t have any money to speak of. His family was poor, and his mother died young. So his clothes were always a little dirty, and never quite fit right. Later, his father wasn’t able to care for him and his brother.”

“What happened to him?”

“An uncle took the boys in. That was good, but the uncle was something of a recluse.” Her voice cracked, illustrating just how affected she still was by the bittersweet memories. “John Miller was someone who could have been so much more, if he’d just had someone who believed in him.”

“But you believed in him, right?” Elsie prodded, her eyes wide.

“I did.” Blushing a little bit, Lorene added, “He was so kind to me, and he was sensitive. I could talk to him about almost anything. I was sure he was the right man for me. But, of course, my mother didn’t see things that way.”

Caught up in the story, Viola blurted, “That shouldn’t matter.”

“It did at the time.” Tilting her head down, she winced. “When I was with John, I felt like the prettiest, smartest, most special girl in the room. He believed in me, you see.” She sighed. “I suppose I should have tried harder for him to be accepted. . . .”

“What did Daed say?”

“Peter? Oh, gosh, I never told your father. I never told any of my siblings. I’m the youngest, you know. And when my parents told me that I couldn’t see him anymore, no matter what, well, after a few weeks of arguing, I realized that I wasn’t going to win that battle. I certainly wasn’t going to get the rest of the family involved!”

“Because you were afraid that they’d side with your parents, too?”

“I had thought they would.” Her bottom lip trembled. “But now? I’m not so sure. Maybe I should have trusted them more?” Softly she added, “If I had trusted myself more, things might have turned out far different.”

“Where is John Miller now?” Elsie asked. “Did he move away?”

“Oh, no. His brother moved away, but he’s still here.”

“I’ve never heard of him,” Viola said.

“No reason why you should have. There are thousands of Amish in Holmes County. Plus, John doesn’t belong to our church district.”

After exchanging a look with Elsie, Viola said, “You should go talk to him, Aunt Lorene.”

“Actually, I did. Today.”

Viola reached out and squeezed her sister’s hand. “And? Are you two still in love after all this time?”

A shadow slipped into her expression. “I’m afraid not. John owns his own furniture store now. He’s quite successful. But it was clear he still hasn’t forgotten how I broke things off. I fear he’ll never forgive me.”

“All you have to do is explain things, Lorene,” Elsie said in a rush. “I’m sure once he hears that you regret things, he’ll understand.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that easy. It’s been ten years. And that’s a mighty long time to wait to tell someone that you’re sorry.” Picking up a potato, she said, “I only told you that story . . . Gosh, now I don’t even know why I told you. It’s not important. Not anymore.”

“Maybe he’s your true love,” Elsie murmured. With a glint in her eye, she added, “Just like Edward might be Viola’s true love.”