Days Like This (36 page)

“I think you’re late by about
fifteen years, but, hey, who’s counting?  So, should I start with my
astrological sign?  I’m a Sagittarius.  Of course, you being my father and all,
you ought to know that.”  Her smile was tight, and a little grim.  “And yours?”

“Gemini.”

“That figures.  Don’t you find
this a little creepy?  Like we’re on a date or something?”

“Cut me a little slack, kid.  I missed
all the junior high school father/daughter dances.  This is my way of making up
for it.  Talk to me.  Tell me what matters to Paige MacKenzie.”

Suddenly serious, she said,
“Music.  What else is there?”

Thinking back to when he was
fifteen, he nodded his understanding.  At fifteen, his music was all that had
mattered to him.  Hell, at thirty, it had been all he truly cared about.  That
and Casey.  Always, Casey had been there, the center of his universe.  Friend,
business partner, collaborator.  The one person on the planet he’d call if it
was three in the morning and he needed bail money.  The one person on the
planet he’d take a bullet for.  It had taken him years to realize he was in
love with her.  That knowledge had slammed into him with the force of a
locomotive one night as they stood knee-deep in the frothing surf on a moonlit
Bahamian beach.  And without a thought, without a care, he’d hauled Danny’s
estranged wife into his arms, and he’d kissed her like a drowning man taking
his last gulp of oxygen.

Then she’d gone back to Danny,
taking all his oxygen with her.

“It’s probably just PMS, you
know.”

He glanced up, disoriented, and
it took him an instant to bring himself back.  “What are you babbling about?”

“Your wife?  Look, I don’t have a
clue where you just went, but I know exactly who you went there with.”

“Ah, shit.”  Rubbing at his eye
with the heel of his hand, he said, “Am I that transparent?”

“Like Saran Wrap.  What was all
that with the cufflink?”

He shook his head.  “When I went
upstairs,” he said, “she was on the bed.  Holding it in her hand.  And crying.”

“Ouch.”

“I don’t handle that kind of
thing very well.  Every time I think we’re on an even keel, he pops up.”

“The late Mister Fiore.”

“And I go ballistic.  He’s the
gift that keeps on giving.”

“She talked to me about him.  A
little.”

“Yeah?”  He set his jaw.  “What’d
she say?”

“Nothing bad.  In reference to you,
I mean.  Just the opposite.  She told me her relationship with Danny wasn’t a
healthy one,  but her relationship with you is built on mutual trust and
respect.”

“You didn’t happen to hear love
in there, did you?”

“If you think she doesn’t love
you, you’re full of it.”

“You don’t understand.  You’re
fifteen years old.  You’re too young to understand.”

“I call bullshit on that.  You
guys have this weird connection thing going on between you.  I can’t explain
it, but I witness it every time the two of you are in the same room.  I mean,
look at you.  You’re the crazy couple that waltzes around the kitchen while
Kermit the Frog sings about rainbows.  It’s romantic.  Sick and twisted, but
romantic.  Once you get past the whole frog thing.”

“There’s more to love than
romance.”

“And you’ve got it.  Dude, you
two are solid as a brick wall.”

“Please,” he said.  “For the love
of God, don’t call me dude.”

“I don’t know what else to call
you.”

“Dad might be a good place to
start!”

He realized his mistake the
instant he saw the uncertainty on her face, she who’d made assertive,
in-your-face certainty a way of life.  He’d blurted it out without thinking,
had simply opened his mouth, and there the words were, and it was too late to
take them back.  “Look,” she said, “I’m not ready for that.  I don’t know if I
ever will be.”

Which one of them was the adult
in this little scenario?  Right now, the way his stomach felt, he wasn’t sure. 
“I won’t push you,” he said.  “I’m sorry if it felt that way.  It wasn’t
intentional.”

“You know—”  She combed her hair
away from her face with the fingers of both hands and studied him.  “You’re not
quite the evil S.O.B. I always thought you were.  It pains me to say this, but
you’re actually sort of okay.  I mean, you drove twenty miles so I could have
McDonald’s fries.”  Her voice softened.  “But we’re not there yet.  You know
what I mean?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“It’ll happen, or it won’t. 
That’s the best I can give you.”

“You may not understand this,” he
said.  “But I am so damn proud of you right now.  You’re smart, and you’re
beautiful, and you’re talented, and you don’t take any guff from anyone.  I’m
not sure you realize how far we’ve come.  We may not be there yet, but we’re a
hell of a lot closer than we were when we started.”

“What can I say?  I grow on
people after a while.”

“Then there’s that wise-ass sense
of humor.  Wonder where that came from?”

They studied each other, green
MacKenzie eyes gazing into green MacKenzie eyes.  And then his daughter
grinned.  A real, live, genuine grin.  “Gee,” she said.  “I can’t imagine.”

***

“Ease up on the clutch with your
left foot and press on the accelerator with your right.  Try to use the same
amount of pressure on each pedal.  If it starts to flutter, give it a little
more gas.  But not too much.”

Her face taut with concentration,
his daughter followed his instructions.  The engine revved, a little too loud. 
Startled, she released the clutch, and the Porsche jumped so hard he almost
lost his eyeteeth.  “Shit,” she said.

“Language,” he warned.

“Um, right.  Whatever you say. 
So what am I doing wrong?”

“You’re not doing anything
wrong.  It’s a body memory kind of thing.  Do it enough times, eventually it’ll
feel natural.  Once you’ve learned it, you won’t ever forget.  It’s like riding
a bike.”

“With a little more horsepower.”

“With a lot more horsepower.  Go
ahead.  Try again.”

This time, the car moved ahead a
fraction of an inch before stalling.  “Not bad,” he said.

“Not good, either.”  She looked
at him out of the corner of her eye.  “You know my friend Lissa?  Well, former
friend.”

“That would be the one you got
arrested with.”

“I did not get arrested.  They
didn’t handcuff me.  They didn’t book me.  They didn’t charge me.  They just
took me down to the police station and—”

“Semantics,” he said.  “What
about Lissa?”

“She wanted to know if, since
you’re famous and all, you could introduce her to Scott Baio.”

He just looked at her, noted the
slight twitch at the corner of her mouth.  And said, “Scott Baio?”

“You know. 
Happy Days.
 
Joani
Loves Chachi
. 
Charles in—
”

“I know who Scott Baio is. 
Regrettably, we don’t run in the same circles.”

“No shit.  And the guy’s got to
be like, thirty or something by now.  Really old.  I don’t know what she’s
thinking.”

“Language,” he said again, more
distractedly this time.  “So what’d you tell her?”

“I asked her if she was stupid
enough to think all famous people knew each other.  Then I asked her if she
liked me for me or because my father was a big rock and roll star.
Then
I told her to stop being a dick.”

“Jesus, Paige. 
Language!
 
Did your mother allow you to talk like that?”

“Leave my mother out of it.  Can
we try again?”

“You’re in the driver’s seat.  Go
for it.”

She wet her lips, cranked the
ignition, and hunched over the wheel.  Slowly eased up on the clutch.  It
caught, and the car lurched forward.  Started to lug.  “Feather it,” he said. 
“Feather the gas.  Don’t let up on the clutch yet!  Give her a little more. 
That’s it.  Now bring that clutch up slowly. 
Slowly.
  Good girl!”

The car shuddered, then smoothed
out.  “I did it!  Holy crap, I did it!”

“You did it.  Keep giving it the
gas.  Steer it nice and straight.  Whatever you do, don’t put us in the ditch. 
I don’t want to have to explain to Cousin Teddy why I couldn’t steer the car on
a straight stretch of road in broad daylight.”

“Cousin Teddy is a turkey.”

“I’m with you there.  Get a
little speed going.  Okay, now put your clutch in.  All the way to the floor.” 
When she depressed the clutch, he shifted the car into second gear.  She let it
back up, a little jerky, but managed to keep the engine running and the car
aimed straight down the road.  “Good job,” he said.  “You know, my dad taught
me to drive, back when dinosaurs walked the earth.”

“In one of those Fred Flintstone
cars, with your feet for brakes?”

“Something like that.”

“What am I supposed to do next?”

“Third gear wouldn’t be unheard
of.”  He tried not to think about the damage she might be causing to his drive
train.  “Clutch down again.  All the way to the floor.”  He shifted them into
third.  This time, the car didn’t jerk as much when she released the clutch. 
“See?” he said.  “You’re starting to get the feel of it.”

“Good thing this is a back road. 
Where does it go?”

“Damned if I know.”

“You’ve lived here longer than
me.  You should know this stuff.  What if we get lost?”

“Not that much longer.  And we
won’t get lost.  I may be a city boy, but I’m not a complete rube.  Casey could
tell you where it goes.  She knows every back road in the county.  And probably
most of the snowmobile trails.”

“Yee haw.”

“It’s not such a bad place to
live.  It grows on you.”

“Says you.  Don’t tell me you
actually like living here?”

“Doesn’t matter.  Casey likes
living here.  I like living wherever Casey lives.”

“That is just so damn cute. 
Young love.”

“Your day will come, little
girl.  One of these days, you’ll open your eyes and it’ll be time for your
twentieth high school reunion.  And you’ll be looking around you, scratching
your head and wondering where those two decades went.”

 “Um, Gramps?  I think I’m ready
to quit now.  How do you stop this thing?”

“Clutch in.  Okay, now shift her
down into second.”

“Me?”

“You won’t always have somebody
to shift gears for you, so learn to do it yourself.  Remember the H pattern I
taught you?  Slide over, through neutral, then pull back.  Good!  Nice and
smooth.  Now brake just a little—a
little!
  And ease it over to the side
of the road.”

They came to a shuddering halt on
the shoulder.  His daughter’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel. 
“Jesus,” she said.  “I’m sweating like a pig.”

“You think you’re sweating,
imagine how I feel.  Do you have any idea how much I paid for this car?”

“That was pretty cool.  To
celebrate, I think we should go out for a couple of cold ones.”

“Nice try, Sunshine.  Ready to
swap places, or are you still shaking in your shoes?”

“I wasn’t shaking in my shoes!  I
was just sweating a little.  This is a very expensive car.  You could’ve taught
me in the Explorer.  Automatic’s a lot easier.”

“Automatic’s boring.  You just
sit there and steer.  Anybody worth their salt learns to drive a stick.  Turn
off the ignition, leave it in gear, and set the parking brake.”

When she’d followed his
instructions without incident, he opened the door and got out.  That was when
he saw the FOR SALE sign on the side of the road.  The gravel driveway next to
it led nowhere, but the towering maples, some of them still clinging to a
brilliant orange leaf or two, told him there must have been a house here at one
time.  The property was mostly flat, riddled with winter-yellow untamed grass
that grew waist high in places.  He studied it, took it all in, listened to the
wheels turning inside his head.  Thought about taking down the phone number on
the sign.  Then shrugged, turned to walk around the car.

And saw the view.

It grabbed him by the heart and
squeezed, the same way a wailing saxophone could make his chest tighten and
send shivers running down his spine.  High on a hill, he could see for miles
and miles, just like that old song by the Who.  Dark evergreen forests. 
Mountains as far as the eye could see.  The landscape dotted with bodies of
water whose names he would probably never know.  God’s country. 

From the far side of the car,
Paige circled around and stood beside him, following his gaze.  “Wow,” she
said.

“Yeah.  Wow.”

His daughter crossed her arms. 
Still looking at the view, she said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Ask away.”

“Did you love my mother?”

The unexpected question drove a
knife through his gut.  He leaned against the side of the Porsche.  Propping
his elbows on the roof, he said, “That was all such a long time ago—”

“Stop waffling.  It’s not brain
surgery.  It’s a simple yes or no answer.”

Was it that simple?  The wind
lifted a strand of her hair and blew it into her face, that beautiful face that
displayed a vulnerability she couldn’t quite hide beneath the hard, brusque
exterior mask she wore to face the world.  He couldn’t lie to the kid.  She’d
been lied to all her life.  Right now, he and Casey were all the stability she
had.

“I liked her a lot,” he said. 
“But I think that if I’d loved her...if I’d really, truly loved her…I would’ve
taken her with me when I left for New York.”

“Yeah,” she said.  “That’s about
what I thought.”

“I’m sorry.  It’s not the answer
you were looking for.”

She kicked at the gravel beneath
her feet.  “Hey, you were honest.  You could have lied to spare my feelings. 
You didn’t.”

“Right.”  He wondered why that
didn’t make him feel any better.

“So...I guess you probably had a
lot of girlfriends over the years.”