Dead Stars (39 page)

“Jerry, I need to go.”

He became contrite.

“O. Sorry. I'm not really serious. I'm just thinking about this stuff all the time. Kinda just me playing chess in my head, but out loud. Hey thank you for buying lunch.”

“Thank you for visiting.”

“Stay foolish. Stay hungry. I wish you way more than luck.”

“Will you please take care of yourself, Jerry?”

“All day long.” He smiled and finally looked her in the eye. She caught a glimpse of the 11 year-old boy. “All day long.”

“Please. Please take care.”

“I will,” he said. “I will.” Then, “I will.”

“If you need any help in doing that, I want you to promise to call, OK?”

“Yeah yeah, sure sure. Sorry I went off. I'm just fuckin around. With words. You should listen to ‘Syllables'—Dre says
‘the torch is gunna burn out before it gets passed, Jay said it's his last, & 50, & Em, then what?'
—the Puppetmathers & all his slaves are on that song, the Puppetmathers is the very 1st one to sing, like he always is, you will notice that on songs he's always No. 1 & in concert he comes out
last
to upstage the shameful spectacle of the indentured minstrels he has ordained to precede him, but make no mistake, in
Syllables
the vastness of his armies are talking about the end of the
world
not just of rap, they're saying everything
Ashton
was saying, but in code. Meaning, the Wars will bring great suffering, there will be many dead on both sides but the Whites will rise like a Phoenix, the wind beneath its wings comprised of Black Archangel Slaves.
Some
of the code's on
2½ Men
, you just have to
watch and listen
, do
not
underestimate John Cryer's involvement, that would be what they call a Fatal Error. The 2 Chucks—Sheen & Lorre—were
made
from Cryer's rib
,
just as the 2 Carters—DWAYNE MICHAEL
CARTER
& SHAWN COREY
CARTER
—were made from O.G. Sammy Davis Jr . . . Cryer is as close to Puppetmathers as Ye is to Hov, as close as the blonde-rooted patsy ?uestlove is to his slavemaster Fallon, ?uestlove who cowers and kowtows to Tina Fey. Britney's so-called
dance till the world ends
is in code, preapproved by LA Reid . . . its true meaning that General (All-Seeing) Eye-Veen is willing to face the end of
Time
, which is his
strength
, Time, that echo of an axe in the wood. Learn from his example.
All
see it coming
. The Deschanels will sit on the right of the throne, Eye-oh-Veen & L.A. Reid on the left. They are signing everyone up for the fires.”

“Okay. Jerry—”

(Contrite and comical.)

“Ima jus playin! I'll shut up. Ima jus' playin . . . . .”

“Jerry, I really need to go. Maybe you should give me the envelope back.”

“No, it's cool! I'll get it to her.”

“Are you sure? Because I really need to count on you, I'm counting on you. You promise you'll get it to her?”

“No worries.”

“OK then. Please take care.”

“I will. I am. I will.i.am.”

“Just please make sure you get that to Jerilynn.”

EXPLICIT

[Jerzy]

Ebony and Ivory

 

From: Paparazzo Guy ([email protected])

Sent: Sat 4/21/12 1:30 PM

To: Suge Knight ([email protected])

Inbox (131)

 

Dear Reverend Suge Knight (president, founder, CEO Deathrow Records).

My name is
Jerzy Crelle-Vomes
. For several reasons, not to be revealed, I shall be brief.

 

Perhaps you may remember our last meeting, at Cedars-Sinai Hospital in the CCU. I had a heart attack which wasn't too sever, & was forced to make my residence there for a period of one week. You were kind enough to be among my few and special visitors.

 

As you know, Reverend Knight, I am a professional photographer of some experience and well standing. My work brings me into contact with famed celebs of all size and stripe, notwithstanding otherwise notable people who have attached themselves (or wished to) throughout the many years to you with great determinedness in order to gain some of your luster, and move within your Many Spheres. Many of them would not even be known to the world without you having given them a wide birth.

 

Some of these Seekers are “with you” but the majority have Fallen & now suck at the Teat of Marshall the Puppet Mathers. I have recently come into knowledge of infornation I believe will be of great invaluable to you. I cannot put it in an email (naturallyI could but choose not to) because of the “sensitivy” of it the information. But I believe it will interest you as it involves the struggle of the Black & even “identifies” all the Black Parasites who have joined the Plantation of
I'Veen, PuppetM, jay-Z, Elton John
and so many more. I shall divulge (if given the chance) who these people are that claim to be involved in the struggle of the Black but are only self-interested & actually will march with the plantation owners when that day we are waiting for comes! They do not know that Puppetmathers has assured that their Deaths await them.

 

Much of this information is only known by agencies such as the
LAPD, CAA, ICM, and WME.
If NOT known by them you can believe they will be coming after it (me) with great gusto, and shall thrown everytning at me and my family they can, in order to pry it. Reverend, I must say that I feel like
Pvt Bradley Manning
who gave his info to
Julian Assange
and now lays rotting and tortured in his Levenworth cell!

 

Reverend Knight, you are my Knight in armor, my
Julian Assange
who I would die for please “allow” me be your
Pvt Bradley Manning
! I believe that with my informanion and your fearlessness and vision “for” the Black, we can triumph. BLACK shall equal TRIUMPH, and WHITE SHALL UNDERGO FAMINE, I know we can turn the tables it is Gods will. It is the same god who created the Mantis and the Hummmingbird. I look forward to sharing a fine cigar with you, & await you respond. I hope this gets to you relativly quick and finds you in excellent health & spirites!

 

With respect,

 

Pvt Crelle-Vomes

998 Rangely

West Hollywood CA

Please do not contact by cellphone by email only please

 

PS, Laurence Fishburne can be trusted, his head hangs low in sorrow and anguish because his young daughter has been conscripted by the Puppetmather troops.

. . .

He got lucky.

Not only was he the first snatcherazzo to get Dakota Fanning's barely legal (panty'd)
honeyshot!
but he scored a blitzkrieg of nipslips too. The multiasstitted Ms. Fanning was crowded into the backseat with some BFFs & had the misfortune of being pressed against the door, which made awkward torquings of her upper body fertile ground for whoredrobe galfunctions. Jerzy strobefroze the peekanips through the car window, standard op procedure for doubleheaders—pictorially, the blouse cherries would be served before the slice of pie.

Harry could barely contain himself; he'd been waiting more than a decade—since
I Am Sam—
since the rape in
Hounddog—
since the ad campaign wherein she was poised to insert a humungus bottle of Lola by Marc Jacobs between her 15-yr-old legs—waiting with jagged jailbated breath to see her
deep undercover
. He wrote Jerzy a check for 5K johnny on the spot. Lately Jerzy had been missing days & Harry wasn't too thrilled about it, openly expressing his displeasure & avuncular advice to stop or slow down whatever he was doing; now, Jerzy'd bought himself some time & good will. Upon delivery of Decoded Fanny, Sir Middleton literally got down on his knees to him & did the I-am-not-worthy hand move.

Harry was a hard one to read; he could go puritan on you when least expected. Like when Jerzy was on his way out the door & one of HM's snatcherazzi showed up with pics of Ashley Tisdale & Audrina, each purporting to show them during or right after a “facial” . . . the latest foto fad among the spunkerazzi was milky cum on the face of a liteweight celeb. Which made Harry round the Middleton
furious
. First of all he said it's all bullshit, the pics aint real, second of all they're disgusting& degrading. He said,
Honeyshot! ain't about degradation, it's about defloration. About girls coming of age no pun intended. We come by our honeyshot!
s
HONESTLY no pun intended.
He was old school, a mons Corleone who refused to traffic in dope & facials.

When Jerzy got home he sent the Fanning link to some of his buds. He almost sent it to MoMA but thought twice. Then he had a cool idea. When Jerzy had his Gagosian show, the pics would all have little cards next to them like paintings do in museums except all that would be on them was whatever link was appropriate.

For example
, Suite
Dakota would have

 

http://harrymiddletonhoneyshot.com/entertainment/celebs/dakota-fanning-and-her-stella-mccartney-micromini-make-for-nipple-slips-&-a-very-special-private-opening-just-between-legs-and-friends-0071825922

 

Very
cool.

. . .

He got stoked by the card/link idea and it fired him up to at least take a stab at beginning the inhumanly mammoth job of sifting, snorting & organizing the thousands of captures in his imagebank. To make such an impossible task manageable, he psyched himself that it was all for the
portfolio—
Larry Gaga would need to see a hardcore sample of Jerzy's work to whet his appetite—& that during this process he would most certainly alight on the core group of digital Weegees that would eventually embody the Trojan Magnum
^®
opus of the actual show. He didn't yet have a fallback plan given the unthinkable possibility that his hip didn't hop no more—say, his karma didn't gagosianiacally come together—because aside from the insane genius panache coup of hanging his massive (blown up) celebmashups on the high priest/high white tower walls of Our Lady Of Gaga Cathedral there just weren't any alternate spaces bitchin enough to rival/approximate/be viable. There were always spaces way down on Melrose or East Holly, other bogus Brewery artwalk schmuck arenas downtown, but those were for sk8tr art, not the real shit.

He was
almost about
to start that scary-daunting portfolio culling, but first things first.

He was in his room, bootie bumpin, & into the KJ a bit. (What's a boy to do?) He was on the floor, usual position, legs lotus-crossed, sitting before a low table, Japanese-style. The GUESS WHO'S OLDER? page Tom-Tom tore from
OK!
was splayed before him. Susan Boyle or Madonna? Rachel Bilson or Mischa B? Kate Hudson or Katie Holmes? AnnaLynne McCord or Ashley O? Kim Kardash or Gisele Bundch? Kristen Stewart or T Swift? He had to put tape over the bottom of the page because the idiots didn't print the answers upsidedown they printed them rightside up how fuckin lame. Somebody's head better roll
somebody's headshot heh heh
. What was going on was, he'd smoke a little, do his boo-tay bidness, whatever, but when he turned his attention back to GUESS WHO'S OLDER he would at first forget the premise, instead thinking the side-by-side pix were one of those CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE? deals & he thought,
whoa, there's millions of differences between
that
face
(Kristen S)
and
that
one
(Taylor S),
where/how do I begin? Whoa———their faces are so trillion-different-ways-different
but then he started to wonder, maybe no one's face was. Different.

Shit.

More clipped pages: Salma Hayek, Kim K & Jennifer Hudson were all wearing the same $4000 Alex McQueen ensemble, they asked 100 people at Rockefeller Center who wore it best. The thing had gold epaulets, maybe General I-Veen will be wearing that shit on Day One of
Battlefield Earth
. Jerzy thought Salma wore it best but Salma only got 15%. Jennifer got 34% & Kim got 51%. Everybody loved Kim, even the women h8trs, because she was unapologetically
zaftig
. All women knew that a big fat ass was about the only thing guaranteed to be waiting at the end of the rainbow. He smoked, did a little bidness, & when he went back to WHO WORE IT BEST the same thing happened as before, he thought he was doing a
spot the difference
puzzle, even though he'd never seen a triptych, it was always a diptych, like, how the fuck were you supposed to spot the difference between
three different fucking people
, there would be an infinitude.
Spot the Infinitesimal Infinitude.
There
were
a couple of diptychs though, and that snapped him back to the
who wore it best
deal, Gretchen Rossi & Aubrey O'Day, Gretchen wore it better 81%, Nancy O'Dell & Victoria Justice, VJ rocked it at 61%. Readers weighed in on who sizzles&who fizzles. They better just keep the who wore it best to diptychs not triptychs the shit is getting out of hand. But then he got spooked

&then he got

PISSED
freaked
addled-anxious, bothered
whatever
& skipped to another Tom-Tom-torn page called MY MINI-MAN. Tina Fey is 5-4: her hubby's 5 feet. Nicole K's 5-10: K Urban's 5-8, and Tom the ex is 5-7. L'Wren Scott is 6-3, Mick's five-10. It was dumbass though the thing about Tina's hubby being such a dwarf was kinda interesting.
Zorba the Geek.
Tina Fey. Wow. Please god may I pretty please rape that? He skimmed the ifotos . . . . . . . . always enjoyed seeing his own pics . . . . . .
this
batch taken outside of Harry's employ of course . . . fuckin schlep pix of Sandra Bullock & that black baby,
hated
those schlep pics, black prop baby wedged in there, jaw set in steely essence of
motherhood
, she
aint
a fuckin mother & that
aint
her fuckin kid why doesn't the world talk about
that.
Like where she bought it and the fact we all have to
play along that's it's really hers
. Fucking taboo bullshit. We're all supposed to ooh & ahh well
fuck
them & their stolen black babies, Bullock & Jolie & fuckin Madonna do what the Puppetmathers
behooves
them to do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT'S IN AUDRINA'S bag? Like anyone gives a shit. She's deader than fucking Zsazsa+stevejobs put together. What the fuck tho, lookin for clues.
What's In Audrina's Bag?
Aside from maybe the implants she took out. Lookin for clues cause he had a dream Audrina was going to hook up with a mandingo just like Khloé & Kim K
you know, like if she was gunna pass the (Black) buck————
nuthin but whoremasters under the employ of M
²
.
What
is
in Audrina's frickin bag————hmmmmmm let's see now, there's a
YSL makeup kit . . . . . . . . Vikto&Rolf Flowerbomb perfume . . . . . . Pup-Peroni sticks for the teacup yorkie . . . . . . Batiste dry shampoo for volume Heather Morris now what's in Hemo's bag? She'll wind up with a nigger, they are no match for blond hardbodied white dancers, the latter's supreme powers of seduction being among the foremost armament & weaponry the Puppetmathers uses to ensnare) why can't the Blacks see it's like
Body Snatchers
they close their eyes & when they open them it's too late they're on the Plantation. But what
IS
in Heather's bag? hmmmmm—Goody ouchless hair ties, Colorscience corrector palette, MAC mineralize skinfinish, bronzer, MAC impeccable brow pencil in blonde, Mason Pearson rake comb/smoke & mirrors NYC lash, Flirt! all that Lash mascara, Burt's Bees tinted lip balm, Flirt! Luv-a-licious perfume spray Flirt! all that Flirt! shit——————
one more shpritz up the ass, Jerzy goes for one more booty bump,
bumpin bumpin bumpin
yes please sir may I have another

. . .

Jacks.

Jackin' the
lolo
 . . . LOL
—————

Watches a youtube interview with Montana Fishburne, the actor's pornster daughter. Montana AKA Chippy D is sayin, “Porn is Art. Beautiful people touching each other in sensual ways. [
Like she's talking about a couples massage workshop in fucking Marin
] It's
all
Art: film, music, porn . . .”
www.hellobeautiful.com
says Chippy the chipper's mom still loves her anyway. Chippy thinks she's in the vanguard, that her
films
will rocket her to the starry stratospheres & in scholarly fashion cites the sextapes of Paris, Kim & Sasha Grey.
www.popeater.com
says that when Mr. Fishburne went to the emmys, he kept a far piece from Kim Kardash, who happens to be Chippy's callypygian mentor/entreprenOOZE—Double K-cup Kimmy.

His cock is fucked
up.
Hasn't been taking the Valtrex, recent flare-cluster of herpes, tiny blisterbroken bubblewrap lesions, itchy/sting-y. Can't stop the marathon rub-offs so it never has time to scab over. Neosporin with lidocaine staves off infection (for now) but doesn't promote healing. Jerzy promotes healing by finding a 58-minute Montana strokefest on xhamster.com (Tags:
Ass, Blowjob, Celebrity, Cumshot, Dancing, Facial, Pornstar, Sex tape
Categories:
Ebony
)—ooo-
WOO
what a skank. Chippy D commences to get buttfucked by a rappin fool. Acne on the ass.
Yuk.
On the chest too, like Mike the
Zit
uation. Ewww. They call it chacne. As opposed to bacne (on/between shoulderblades). Chippy's probably got that too. Stretchymarks . . . yucky yucky
yuck
. Did she have a kid? Probably a bunch of late term aborts. Good decision, Chippy . . . . . . . . but let's not I mean why speculate
  does montana fishburne have any children
       
but the top hits were MOM STILL LOVES HER DESPITE PORN CAREER and LARRY FISHBURNE SHOULD BE PROUD OF DAUGHTER'S XXX-RATED CAREER! And MONTANA FISHBURNE: I WON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY KIDS WATCHING . . . it didn't say anything about offspring or aborts. Probably she just used to be fat, yeah that's it, chicks who were big tubs when they were kids are always fucked up. Though Mom & Dad must've been so proud when she lost that weight.
So proud that first time she got dp'd/squirted on camera . . .