Death Wish (24 page)

I wouldn’t dream of hurting him. The little mouse was in no danger from me; I preferred prey that could fight back.

Shaz led a small hunt when we came across a relatively fresh deer trail. I had little interest, but I followed along, slinking through the trees as we tracked the big buck. He was an impressive beast alright. The rack of antlers atop his head was massive. Tall with long legs, he was a gorgeous creature.

I hung back, watching as the others encircled the deer. Kylarai was an ace hunter. She had a way of gliding up alongside her prey without being noticed until it’s too late. Her brown hide was barely visible as she stalked the buck. Shaz paused on the opposite side with Coby, waiting for Kylarai to make the first move.

For a moment, everything stopped as we waited for Ky to pounce.

A twig snapped in the distance, mere seconds before the scent of humans reached me. Immediately alert, I met Shaz’s green eyes, finding alarm in their depths.

The shotgun blast was as deafening as it was shocking. For a split second I couldn’t tell where it hit. Then the deer dropped and began to flail. A strangled sound came from the buck as he thrashed helplessly.

A second shot rang out and something grazed my flank. I’d never known hunters to be in these woods. My heart pounded in my ears. I could barely hear the sound of paws hitting the ground furiously around me as we ran with supernatural speed.

As the adrenaline faded, the pain grew in intensity. By the time we reached Kylarai’s backyard, every step I took hurt. It could have been so much worse; a near miss was nothing to laugh off. It hurt like a bitch. I collapsed on the grass, embracing my human form. The wound was ugly, a large, deep puncture that bled profusely. I felt lightheaded but I’d had worse.

“Are you ok, Lex?” Shaz wasted no time resuming human form. He lifted me carefully in his strong arms. “Looks like it just grazed you a good one.”

“I’ll be fine. It just hurts like a mother fucker.” I groaned and clung tight to Shaz. Burying my face in his neck, I concentrated on his familiar scent. “Last thing I need is to get taken out by hunters. Lilah would love that.”

He carried me inside, down the hall to the bathroom, while Kylarai ran ahead to turn on lights and wet a towel with warm water. Shaz held me while she cleaned the wound.

“I cannot believe that just happened.” Ky’s eyes were wide with terror. “That was too close.” Reaching into the bathroom cupboard for rubbing alcohol she added, “It’s an ugly gash, but it’s not as deep as all the blood made it look. Let me clean you up, and you should be fine.”

I didn’t feel exactly glamorous sitting tight in Shaz’s arms while Ky cleaned and bandaged a wound on my ass. How embarrassing.

“Since when do we get hunters this close to town?” I wondered aloud. “I hope that’s a one-time thing.”

“That scared the hell out of me when that deer dropped. For a second I’d thought one of us had been hit.” With a shake of his blonde head, Shaz grimaced. “Thank God it wasn’t worse than this.”

“This was not how I wanted to introduce Coby to our world.” I groaned when Shaz gingerly set me on my feet. Pain shot through my leg and rear end. “We need to let the others know. They need to be careful. It could still be dangerous out there.”

I limped my way back down the hall to the kitchen where Coby paced near the dining room table. He’d gotten dressed in jeans and a dark hoodie. The anxiety rolled off him in thick waves.

Shaz swept past me, disappearing outside to fetch our clothing. I leaned on the kitchen counter, using it to hide my nudity from the already uncomfortable Coby. He glanced at me with unease.

“We’ve never run into humans out there. Never.” I didn’t think I was reassuring him.

Coby seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at me even though most of my nakedness was hidden behind the counter. Nudity was second nature to me when I was with other werewolves. He was still adjusting.

“That was pretty damn scary. I mean, the guns were terrifying. I’ve never run like that in my life.”

Shaz returned with our clothes, and I slipped my t-shirt on, struggling a little with the tight fitting jeans. They were not ass-wound friendly.

With a gentle hand on Coby’s shoulder, Shaz attempted to calm the nervous wolf. “It was an isolated incident. We’re safe here.”

“I know.” Coby nodded. “I’m just trying to process what just happened. I knew life was about to get dangerous, but I had no idea what to expect.”

“That’s the thing. You never know what to expect.”

“If it’s not vampires and demons, it’s idiot humans with fucking guns.” I swore up a storm as I helped myself to an iced tea from the fridge.

Kylarai emerged from her bedroom, clad in a long robe. I envied her comfort. My ass throbbed, and the jeans were not helping. I wanted to get back to Arys’s house, to my own robe.

“Well, that was a rush,” Ky said, her soft features set in a grim expression. “As long as nobody starts a wolf hunt out here, we’re safe.”

I nodded, lost in thought. An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. It seemed to be a random run in. They’d been hunting deer, not us. Still… I couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy.

“I’m going to drive Alexa back to Arys’s place. Do you mind if I leave Coby here for a few minutes?” Shaz asked Kylarai. “I’ll be right back for him.”

“No, of course not. He can hang out here for a bit.” Ky gathered her hair into a ponytail before giving me a quick squeeze. “Take it easy.”

I wasn’t too keen on being chaperoned from place to place, but Arys had been adamant that I not be alone. Trouble really had a way of finding me lately, but I didn’t need a babysitter, dammit.

Getting into the small confines of Shaz’s Cobalt was both physically and emotionally painful. I was pretty sure we were about to have a conversation neither of us would enjoy.

“Are you ok?” Shaz asked as he backed out of Ky’s driveway. He gave his head a little toss to flip a stray lock of platinum hair out of his eyes. That one little action made me melt, and I had to stifle a sigh.

“Yeah, it’s all good. Nothing a little time won’t heal.” Unlike other things.

“That’s not what I mean.” He glanced over briefly, long enough for me to see that look in his eyes. It was the same look he’d given me the night he’d discovered Arys and I had slept together. The night he showed up at my door and said those dreaded words, ‘We need to talk.’

I stared at him expectantly, studying his profile, my gaze lingering on his strong jaw line and the curve of his lips. Did we have to do this now? Couldn’t we just continue to sweep it under the rug?

“I’m sorry about last night,” Shaz continued. “I shouldn’t have been such a dick. How are you doing? With the whole Shya incident? Arys said you haven’t slept since.”

“Oh he did, did he? Vampire has a big mouth.” I frowned. They had taken to discussing me behind my back, an annoying habit. “I’m fine. I’m just not ready to relive it in my dreams yet.”

Shaz winced. “That bad, huh?”

“I can say this much, if you ever think you’re a monster, attend a scary ass demon ritual, and you’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself.” I shuddered as an image of the savage demon orgy flashed through my mind.

“That’s reassuring.”

We drove along in silence for several blocks as Shaz took the long way around town to Arys’s house. I waited patiently. I knew Shaz well. Whatever he wanted to say, it would come out. Shaz wore his heart on his sleeve. Emotional and sensitive, he was everything I wasn’t. And, I loved that about him.

His grip tightened on the wheel. He ran a hand through his hair once, then twice, his most obvious tell. Finally, he blurted, “I want to be the one you choose in the end. We belong together, Lex.”

“In the end?” I stammered, trying to grasp what he was saying.

“I can’t shake this feeling that things are going to get worse between us before they get better. I’ve been in love with you for years. We’re just getting started, and already we’re falling apart.” Shaz stopped the car at a red light and took the opportunity to squeeze my hand. Pain tainted his energy, thick and stifling. “We can’t go on like this forever.”

My pulse quickened, and I sat up straighter in my seat. A sharp throb shot through my leg, and I made a pained sound. “What are you talking about, Shaz?”

“Come on, Lex. How long can we all keep playing musical beds for before it blows up in our faces? Three is a crowd, and five is just getting downright nasty.” He made a face of disgust. “Not to mention however many lovers Arys has on the side that neither of us know about.”

“None,” I said, uncertain of my feelings regarding this conversation. I was an unwilling participant. “The only ones messing around on the side are you and I. Believe it or not.”

Shaz was quiet, his lips pursed in thought. “I’m surprised. Doesn’t seem like his style.”

I took a deep breath, bracing myself, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake with what I was about to say. “You know, Shaz, you’re the only one currently involved with someone outside the three of us.”

He stiffened and took the next corner sharp enough to make the tires squeal. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I’m the bad guy here. I can’t stop punishing you for what happened with Kale.”

“I noticed. Why is that exactly?”

We turned onto Arys’s street. I thought he might not answer. Shaz pulled the car to a stop in front of the house and turned to me. The emotion in his eyes was raw and strong when he said, “Because I can’t punish you for Arys.”

The silence was deafening. It had been no secret that Shaz wasn’t happy about my relationship with Arys. Hearing his confession made it painfully clear how deep his feelings were. He would never be ok with what Arys and I shared.

I didn’t know how to respond. I was shocked by his confession. And hurt. Hurt that he would hold this inside for a year, letting it fester into something too big to control.

“So Bianca is my punishment for something that has never been within my control?” My voice cracked, and I cringed inwardly. “That hurts, Shaz.”

He looked away from me, out the driver’s side window at the dark house across the street. “I thought it would make me feel better. Like I’d evened the score. All it’s done is make me feel like shit.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” I couldn’t tear my gaze from him. He wouldn’t look at me, and that made the suffocating sensation inside me grow.

“I know you and Arys belong together.” Shaz’s voice caught as if he wrestled with his emotions. “But, I spent so many nights lying awake at Raoul’s, listening to him have his way with you, wiping your tears after, the entire time wishing you would look at me the way you looked at him. And now, I’m reliving it with the vampire.”

I felt myself deflate. His solemn words crushed me. “I’ve always loved you, Shaz. I didn’t always know it though. Raoul was a teenage dream. A foolish nightmare I was torturing myself with. Arys is part of me. He is my other half. And, you and I should both know that if I am anything, it’s my own worst enemy. I adore Arys, but I need you.”

“But for how long?” He turned to pin me with jade green wolf eyes, stormy with emotion. “How long can we play this game for three? I get it. I do. It’s like he and I are black and white, and you’re the shade of grey that links us. I feel like I’m part of this whether I want to be or not.”

“You don’t have to be,” I murmured. I couldn’t help but think of Kale and his plea for me to set him free. Maybe it was time to set Shaz free, too. “I love you, Shaz, but I don’t want to imprison you. You deserve more. I want you to be happy.”

His shoulders slumped. Again, he ran a hand through his hair. I hid a smile, knowing he wouldn’t understand it.

“You make me happy, Lex. I know I have a role to play here. I don’t want to let you down. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. I just wanted to apologize for last night, and to tell you that no matter what happens, I’m still here. I’m still yours.”

The intensity in his eyes was both startling and reassuring. We were both fighting so hard to keep things from coming between us. But, we couldn’t win that battle as long as he was seeking a fix from Bianca.

“I know that, Shaz.” That wasn’t what I wanted to say. Rather than risk an argument about Kale or further discussion about our ill-fated triad with Arys, I simply smiled and reached to stroke a hand down his face.

I shared his desperation, the need for the assurance that everything would be ok. It wouldn’t though. There was no happily ever after for us, at least not the way we wanted.

Chapter Sixteen

I clutched a takeout cup of my favorite coffee and stared expectantly at the entryway. Any moment now, Shya would sweep through the doors of The Wicked Kiss. After avoiding my attempts to reach him for the past three days, the demon had decided to grace me with a few minutes of his precious time.

The last few days had been blessedly quiet. After the talk with Shaz the night of the barbecue, I had fallen into Arys’s bed and slept a luxurious twenty-four hours. For that one day, I escaped into my subconscious where for once, everything was calm.

Things had been unusually quiet since. There had been no further attempts on my life from Lilah’s vampire flunkies, and I had yet to see her again. However, that was only a matter of time, hence the need for Shya and I to have a little talk.