Deep Blue (27 page)

“You have no idea. Taking a shower,” he says, and locks the bathroom door behind him.

After class that evening, I convince Leo to drive the extra distance to Jaeger’s house. Jaeger’s been in his shop most of the day and I want to surprise him with the food and drinks I picked up from the on-campus café. It’s not much of a dinner, but I don’t think he’ll care. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and his cheeks are growing hollow. He makes two sandwiches when he gets to my place and inhales them before crashing on our air mattress. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the only meal he’s had all day.

Leo’s car idles in front of Jaeger’s house as I grab the bags of food. “Nice location,” he says, peering at the moonlit lake beyond the trees.

The front door swings open and Kate steps onto the porch. A motion detector light reveals the scowl on her face. She’s got to be in top evil form now that they issued the eviction notice. I think I’ll skip the house and go straight to the workshop.

I swivel my head to say goodbye to Leo, but he’s squinting at Kate. Kate’s looking straight at him as if measuring him up, recognition crossing her features. “You two know each other?” I ask.

His mouth twists. “I—yeah, I think. My roommate’s into some stuff. He has these parties … pretty sure I’ve seen her at them.”

Jaeger walks out of his woodshop, wiping his hands on a towel. He looks exhausted, his frame bowed. His eyes scan from me to Leo and his mouth tightens.

This doesn’t look good. “Thanks for the ride, Leo,” I say quickly and hop out of the car. Jaeger has been pushed to his limit. I’ve seen the kind of damage he can do to a guy when he isn’t trying. I’d rather not give him a reason to take out his frustration on poor Leo.

“Surprise!” I walk over and kiss Jaeger’s tense lips. His gaze tracks Leo’s small truck down the lane. I shove the bag of food at his chest and he looks down and blinks. A sweet smile spreads across his face. “You’ve been working so hard, I wanted to check in on you.”

“Thanks, babe.” Jaeger’s eyes flicker angrily toward Kate on the porch. She spins around and slams the front door behind her.

There’s the angst.

He holds me close for a moment, his lips skimming over my hairline, the tension in his shoulders releasing. “Give me a minute to clean up and we can get going.”

Jaeger puts away tools, wipes down a table, and sweeps the floor of his woodshop. I watch from the couch, enraptured. I could stare at Jaeger moving around all day in jeans that fit his butt to perfection, wood shavings speckling his T-shirt and hair, all responsible and hardworking.

He glances around as if checking for remaining clean-up, and his gaze lands on me.

I squirm, suddenly aware of the last time I sat on this couch, or rather,
lay
on it.

Jaeger moves forward and my heart kicks up. He crouches at my feet and runs his palms up my bare legs to the edges of my denim skirt. “What do you want to do?”

Oh, I have ideas.

I scowl in the direction of the house. “Go to my place.”

Outside, Jaeger’s face contorts as he looks down the drive. He helps me into his truck. “Who’s that guy that gives you rides?”

“Leo? He’s in my CAD class. We carpool, except it’s not really carpooling because I don’t give him rides. I usually buy dinner after class to make up for gas money.”

“You buy him dinner,” he says in a tone that’s not altogether happy.

“I’ve gotta do something for him, Jaeger. I’d feel like a mooch if I didn’t.”

He nods stiffly, obviously not liking my answer. “We’ve gotta get you a car. I don’t want you stranded or needing to rely on others to get around.”

“Yeah, well, that would be nice, but I can’t afford one. Anyway, for now, I’m good. When Gen and Tyler leave in the fall, I’ll have to use the bus until I can save up for something.”

Jaeger frowns out the window of his truck as he turns the ignition. It’s damn embarrassing to admit to your highly successful boyfriend that you can’t afford a car.

Minutes later, we pull into my gravel driveway, my eyes bugging out at my mom’s blue sedan parked on the street.

What the hell?

Shit.
My mom suspected something between me and Jaeger when I visited, but I haven’t talked to her since things became official. She probably knew more about my feelings for Jaeger than I did at the time. I was still in denial and dealing with the loss of my job and graduate school.

Crap, crap! I’m not prepared for this confrontation. I love Jaeger, but I’d hoped to have a private conversation with my mom. She might draw conclusions about me jumping into a relationship on the heels of my last. To her, this would look like a rebound, but it’s not. My relationship with Jaeger is the first real one I’ve had.

“So, um, Jaeger?” He looks over, brows furrowing. My voice is shaky and I realize I’m squeezing the bejesus out of his hand on the seat between us. I loosen my grip. “That’s my mom’s car. She’s here. I didn’t know she was coming.”

A beat passes. “You need me to leave?” He’s trying to hide it, but there’s hurt in his eyes.

“No, but it might not go perfectly. I haven’t had a chance to tell her about us.”

“I’m okay, if you’re okay.”

I smile. “I’m okay.” Or I will be after this confrontation. It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid. Mom might react to the suddenness of our relationship, but she’ll get over it.

We walk to the front door. And then I remember the tent out back and the fact Jaeger is
staying
with me.

This is going to be awkward as hell.

My mom is washing dishes in the kitchen, her back to us when we walk in. She’s humming, breaking into a chorus every few bars to
Love Bites
from Def Leppard. It’s one of her favorites. If I’m warped, I blame it on the eighties music my mom subjected me to over the years.

“Mom, what are you doing here?”

She spins, gasping, her hand over her heart. “Calista, don’t sneak up.” She huffs out a breath and eyes Jaeger. “Can’t a mom visit her children?” she says distractedly.

“You usually call first,” I point out.

She shakes water off her hands over the sink and walks into the living room, patting them on her jeans. She reaches out to Jaeger, glaring at me. “Hi, Jaeg. Good to see you again. My, you’ve grown.” Mom’s eyes dart down his body.

It’s official. Jaeger can’t control the effect he has on women. My own mother just checked him out. He’s a weakness to the female sex. I should know.

“Mom, Jaeger’s my boyfriend.”

Despite her obvious admiration, Mom’s mouth puckers and twists. She nods.

I hate that look. It’s the one that says
you’ve got some explaining to do
. I’m a grown woman. Whom I choose to love is my business. “What’s up, Mom? Everything okay?”

She slowly drags her suspicious gaze from Jaeger. “I’m here to talk to Tyler. Do you know where he is?”

So this isn’t about me? It’s about Tyler?

Now he’s done it. Mom showed up, so whatever Tyler did, it must be bad.

Come to think of it, I haven’t kept close tabs on Tyler and he is acting strange. He comes home reeking of beer and cigarettes, and I haven’t figured out why the sudden desire to spend the summer in Tahoe. Getting dumped, fired, and falling in love distracted me. So I’ve been a shitty friend
and
sister. Excellent.

Before I tell my mom I have no idea where Tyler is, he walks in the door and freezes with his hand on the knob. “Hey,” he says nervously.

What is going on? I mean, Mom can still put the fear of God into us, though she’s tiny and we tower over her, but Tyler looks more nervous than I’ve ever seen him.

“Your work called,” Mom says. “You’ve missed the pre-semester meetings and they haven’t been able to reach you.”

Tyler breaks eye contact and bends down, rustling around in his overnight bag. “I’ve got it, Mom. Don’t worry about it.”

“Really? Because it doesn’t seem like you’ve got it, son.”

Jaeger grabs my wrist and sinks onto the couch, pulling me with him. He’s watching my mom and brother with rapt interest. This is the first bit of drama that doesn’t involve us. He’s probably as giddy as I am.

“What’s going on, Tyler?” Mom asks. “Don’t lie—you’re no good at it.”

Tyler straightens and plucks the shoulder of his T-shirt. It’s one of his nervous tics. “I’m not going back. I’m staying here.”

My mom sits on the edge of the recliner. “What does that mean? Your employers thought you were missing, Tyler. This isn’t how you give notice you’re leaving a position. The college administration told me they were about to notify the police. Imagine their relief when they reached me.”

“I should have called.” He knuckles his forehead and sighs.

“Why are you leaving your job? I thought you loved Boulder and your career.”

Tyler crosses to the kitchen and pulls a beer from the fridge. Now that I think about it, he’s kept the fridge stocked with a steady stream of Sierras. He’s been drinking too much.

“I don’t. Not anymore,” he says.

“Uh-hmm. And how will you support yourself? You planning to sleep on people’s couches for the rest of your life?” Mom is pulling out the sarcasm, which means she’s about to go ballistic.

“I’ve been living like a student. I’ve got money saved to last a few years.”

Well, shit, he should be paying me and Gen rent!

Tyler finished his undergrad in three years and a master’s shortly after that. He really did get our father’s brains. Mom and I could never figure out why he didn’t go for his Ph.D.

“Tyler, that money is better put toward a down payment on a house, not—” She waves her hand aimlessly. “—freeloading off your sister and drinking all day.”

Tyler frowns and Jaeger and I glance at each other. This is serious stuff going down. I had no idea my brother was so screwed up. Diabolically, it makes me feel better.

“Drop it, Mom. I’ll let you know when I have things figured out.”

Mom cocks her head. Tyler never talks disrespectfully to our mother—not since he smart-mouthed her at age twelve and had his video games taken away.

She looks at me. “Do you know what’s going on?”

My eyes go wide and I shake my head.

“I’m still in the room,” Tyler says, angrily. “If I wanted you two to know my business, I’d tell you.”

He can get away with being an ass to me, but not our mom. “Tyler!”

He storms out the front door. I jump to the window and catch him tossing the now empty beer bottle in the trash can as he stomps across the driveway to his car. I bang on the glass. “Hey! That goes in recycling!”

Tyler tears down the street.

“Well,” Mom says. “Guess we know your brother is in trouble.” She stands and pats her back pocket, pulling out keys. “He won’t talk to me. You’ll have to help him.”

Wait … what? “You’re leaving?”

She grabs her purse and looks around the room, her gaze snagging on the enormous tent out back. “Not much I can do. He doesn’t want his mother involved in whatever is bothering him. Call me if you need to talk. And don’t let your brother drink and drive!”

I spring up. “Mom! What the hell? You can’t leave this on me.”

“It’s not really on you. It’s on him. This is his life to screw up. I’m just saying, be there if he needs to talk.”

She glances at Jaeger. “And this—” Mom points to the tent and the two of us. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on.” My face burns. “I expect a visit from the two of you in the next couple of weeks so I can get reacquainted with your boyfriend, Cali.”

She squeezes the living hell out of me and smacks a kiss on my lips. “Adios, children!” she says with a wave.

What kind of parenting is this?

This is what you call the hands-off approach.

Growing up, Mom rode Tyler and me when she needed to, but she let us fight our own battles. It might explain why Tyler and I are so independent. We’re capable of lifting ourselves out of the dung when things go wrong, but I get the feeling that whatever is bothering Tyler is big. I just hope it doesn’t hold him down forever.

My CAD class delves deeper into the structure of 3D design today and my analytical mind does a happy dance over the layering. It’s finally getting fun. I’m confident about the progress I’ve made and am hopeful that by the middle of fall I’ll have early mastery of AutoCAD for work. A raise would go a long way toward solving my transportation problems.

Leo, however, seems to be struggling. “Damn, that class is killing me,” he says as we walk through the parking lot to his car. “You don’t find it difficult?”

I’m not going to list the classes I found difficult. Some of the higher math and economics courses I took for a challenge in college, the pre-law courses on constitutional and business law for sure—but CAD? No, CAD is not one of them. “It’s okay. I’m happy to help if you get stuck.”

“Thanks. I’ll probably take you up on that …” Leo’s voice dies at the end of the sentence.

I follow his gaze. A pale, slender guy with chunky black hair stands by Leo’s car, his hip propped against the door.

Leo frowns as we approach. “Brad? What are you doing here?”

“Needed a ride home. You mind?” Brad’s gaze slides to me, his lips quirking at the corners.

Leo darts an unsteady glance my way. I shrug and Leo unlocks the doors, letting us in.

“Cool,” Brad says. “Let’s grab a bite first, though.”

The café is on the other side of campus. Leo drives over and parks in the lot nearby.

I skipped dinner, so this gives me a chance to eat and maybe pick something up for the morning. Jaeger leaves early tomorrow and Leo agreed to give me a ride to work, which is pretty big of him. He works at a restaurant in the mornings and says giving me a ride is no big deal, but I feel I owe him. He’s really helped me get around town these last few weeks. I hope he does take me up on the offer to help with school. It would be one way for me to pay him back.

Gen’s still working nights at the casino, and I don’t trust her behind a wheel at seven a.m. under normal conditions, let alone after only a couple hours of sleep. Tyler hasn’t returned since my mom’s surprise visit, but we’ve texted. I know he’s alive and staying with a friend for a few nights. I’m worried about him. He’s going through something and I wish he’d just confide in me.