Deep Down True (52 page)

Alder was there right from the start—even before Dana! I had originally envisioned her for my first novel,
Shelter Me
, but there wasn’t a spot that was quite right for her. So I knew I would include her in my next story, which turned out to be
Deep Down True
.

I’m glad I waited, because in her offhanded, teenagery way, Alder is the perfect role model for Dana. As they both struggle for healing and repair, Alder is willing to be alone or hang out with the very unpopular Jet. Refusing to cave to her domineering mother, she goes to Dana, who, Alder knows, will give her the support she needs without making her concede to outside expectations. And Alder quietly demonstrates for Dana how not to be such a doormat—from getting Grady to help clear the table, to standing up for herself in the final showdown with Ethan. Everyone should be lucky enough to have an old soul like Alder in her life.

 

 

 

Not really. While it’s familiar, it’s no less dramatic because of the tsunami it can create in its wake. And I don’t really see this as a divorce story so much as an awakening that happens to have been launched by a divorce.

I think that in each one of us there is what some would call the True Self, or the Divine Self, or the Center. We get pulled out of that center all the time—by stress or disrespect or hormones or any one of a million things. And if we pay attention, we can feel when we’re in and when we’re out. There’s something very appealing about being with someone who knows her True Self and can be that self a lot of the time, because it helps us discover and love our own. Dana’s growing self-respect is ultimately a stronger draw than her relentless niceness.

 

 

 

 

Oh my gosh, is there a harder question than what makes a good parent? Loving but not indulgent, attentive but not hovering, strict but not controlling ... I can say all these things, but they hold different meanings for every parent and each kid may need a different balance of each.

Dana and Kenneth are well-intentioned parents. They love their children. But while Dana is a bit of a hoverer, Kenneth is fairly disengaged—just like in their marriage. They both learn to correct for that more by the end of the story. And they learn to parent better
together
as they do, which is tricky enough for married couples, and even harder—and more important—when there’s a divorce.

 

 

 

Absolutely. I never thought I’d ever write such a detailed account of vomiting, of all things! But while there are many examples of Dana’s failings, I wanted to show one of her great strengths, which is the length to which she will go to understand fully and be compassionate toward the people she loves.

 

 

 

For my first novel,
Shelter Me
, I had a title in mind as I wrote that ultimately didn’t work out. This time, I decided not to title it until the end, and see what the story offered up as a suitable name, which I think it did in
Deep Down True
. There was, however, a phrase that I kept in the forefront of my mind as I wrote to hold me on course. That phrase was “the tension between being true to yourself and being liked,” which, while not a good title, was a very helpful compass for the journey.

1. Dana’s husband tells her that the divorce is his “best chance for happiness.” What does this statement say about him? What is Dana’s best chance for happiness?

2. Throughout the book, Dana struggles to allow herself to feel anger. Is this emotion productive for her, and if so, how?

3. Sometimes Dana learns about herself through her children’s observations. How do her children perceive her and how are their insights helpful to her?

4. In times of stress, Dana turns to food to comfort herself. How might her behaviors have directly or indirectly influenced Morgan?

5. For Grady, his dad’s golf ball is a precious gift. What does it represent and how does it comfort him?

6. There are many parallels between Dana’s social life and her daughter Morgan’s middle school lunchroom as they jockey for position among the seemingly popular, more powerful people. How do the Kimmis and Noras of the world shape who we are?

7. Dana must eventually confront the unspoken truth of her past and what really happened to her father. How has this event affected her and her sister? How are they similar or different as a result?

8. Dana eventually begins to regain her sympathies for her ex-husband, even as she continues to cope with her own disappointment and anger. Why does she start to see his point of view, and how does this change her behavior?

9. As Dana’s relationship with Tony blossoms, it becomes clear that he is giving her something that she doesn’t get from other people in her life. What is this quality, and how does it bring out the best in her?

10. By the end of the book, Dana’s life has changed significantly. How is it different and which of these changes surprised you?

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