Deep in the Heart (31 page)

“
Yeah.” He let himself get lost in memories of his own, most so obscure he could hardly catch hold of them.

She looked at him across the Dodge seat. “Why do you ask?”

His gaze stayed on the road because he couldn’t bear to look at her just at that moment.

“
Keith?” She sounded so worried, all he wanted to do was to put her at ease; however, he couldn’t get any words out to do that.

He ran his knuckle under his nose to keep the emotions from coming to the surface. He shook his head one way and leaned his head to the side. “Does it ever go away?”

Maggie’s heart was ripping in two from the anguish on his face. He was trying so hard to hide it, and yet it was right there. “What?”

“
Missing them.” He let his wrist down onto the steering wheel hard. “Crud. I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to drag you into this.”

Her gaze never left him. “Well, I’m in this, so you might as well tell me.”

The fact that he never looked at her told her more than she could ever have seen in his eyes. He shook his head again but only barely.

“
My mom died when I was 12.”

“
Twe…?” Her breath slid away from her. “Oh, Keith. I’m so sorry.”

The smile wasn’t really a smile, and his gaze never left the road. “It’s not your fault.”

Maggie was so focused on him, it was like the rest of the world had dropped away. “What happened?”

It took him more than a second to get the words out. “Car wreck.”

She moaned as her ache mixed with his.

“
They went on a trip one weekend, and she never came back. It was like the only thing I had left was the memories.”

“
The funeral?”

“
I don’t remember much about any of it. I think I only went to the funeral. Besides that I stayed with Inez.”

That surprised her. “Inez? Our Inez?”

“
Yeah. That was back before Dad knew about the wonderful world of nannies. In fact, I don’t know that he really cared too much what happened to me or who was taking care of me.” He sniffed, and Maggie could tell he was embarrassed by it. “They’re what got me through it. The staff. But mostly Inez and Ike.”

It was like taking a whack with a hard tree branch, but Maggie absorbed the pain and kept her focus on Keith. There was so much pain there. So much he wasn’t saying, so much she wondered if he had ever said. It occurred to her that the roles from the week before had been reversed—except for the part about holding him while he let it out. Knowing she wanted him to feel as safe as she had felt, she reached across the seat and ran her hand down his soft gray cotton shirt. His arm solid underneath. He always looked so stylish when he wasn’t work-dirty. It was a dichotomy she was only now beginning to understand.

“
I don’t know how much choice they really had in the matter,” Keith said, continuing as though if he stopped, he might break down. “I was a pretty attention-hungry kid. Inez would get me ready for school, and the second I got off the bus and changed, I was down at the stables with Ike.”

For all the animosity Maggie had toward Ike to that moment, she knew then that she would never be able to hate him in the same way again. “What about your dad?”

Keith snorted. “What about him? He was never here, and when he was, all he did was tell me everything I was doing wrong, and believe me, that list got longer every time he got the chance to use it.” Vehemence seeped into his tone. “I hated him. He hated me. So we just stayed out of one another’s way as much as possible.”

With apprehension telling her she must be out of her mind, Maggie’s gaze fell and then slipped back up to him. “Is that why he was so mad last week?”

For the first time, Keith’s gaze came over to her. “Oh, you noticed that too, huh?”

“
It was kind of hard not to.”

For a single second his face let that go through it. Then he tossed it off as if it meant nothing to him. “I’m just sorry you got in the middle of it.”

Maggie smiled. “It was worth it.”

Surprise jumped to his face.

Her glance slipped into the backseat. “The kids had a great time at your place.” She considered the foolishness of telling him, but she’d come this far, and she wasn’t about to step on him like his father had. She let her gaze trail to his face. “And I did too.”

That brought an actual smile to his face, but it was melancholy and poignant. As they turned into the gate, he nodded. “I’m glad.”

Although Keith wanted to stay with her all day, he knew that wasn’t possible. The jockey was coming at 2 to take Dragnet through a simulated 2 o’clock start. They didn’t have much time to get him ready. One month. So Keith left Maggie with the kids and the car seats in the front door of the mansion. He heard Inez come in from the kitchen just as he escaped out the front door, and he was glad for the timing.

It wasn’t a stretch to think the maid had her theories about him and Maggie, and he didn’t want to hear the innuendos and implied understanding. Inez didn’t understand, and the less chance he gave her to act like she did, the better it would be for his heart. Nonetheless, a piece of him stayed right there at that door, with the kids and with her. And something told him, it always would.

“
I called the realtor,” Dallas said on Monday night, and Keith braced for the coming storm. Her voice was cutting and sarcastic. “Thanks to you, that house sold. I cannot believe you let that perfect house slip through our fingers because you’re
busy
.”

Anger bit into him. “I am busy, Dallas. I know that surprises you, but it’s the truth.”

“
Well, I’m not swimming in extra time here either, Keith, but I’ve gotten everything I’m supposed to do done. Why do I feel like you don’t even care about us anymore?”

He was spinning through the accusations. “There are other houses. Maybe there’s something better.”

“
Better? That’s not the point! The point is this one was
perfect
and because you were too lazy to make a phone call, now it’s gone.”

“
You know, you could have made that phone call as easily as I could have.”

“
Do you know how much I have to do? I’ve got graduation in three weeks. Finals. I’m studying for the boards. I’m trying to plan a wedding from 3,000 miles away, and you’re not helping my stress level.”

The anger dissipated, mostly because he knew she was right. “Look, I’m sorry, Dallas. Really I am.” He hadn’t been concentrating on the wedding or Dallas or anything else in the real world. True, thinking of the wedding brought a tightness to his chest that he couldn’t adequately explain, but still, he was the groom-to-be, he’d better start acting like it. “Listen, I’ll make up for it. I’ll find another house. Even better than that one.”

“
And where are you going to find this better-than-perfect house?”

“
I’ll make some calls. Surely that wasn’t the only wonderful house in Houston.”

“
Well, don’t make it too close to Houston. I don’t want to live in the city-city.”

“
Not too close.”

“
And I want a pool, and at least three bedrooms and an office.”

The list was pushing him deeper into the cushions.

“
And the kitchen needs to be state-of-the-art. I’d like two sinks if possible, and granite cabinets. Oh, and state-of-the-art appliances. And no fake wood floors either, if you get wood floors, I want them real wood.”

At least she wasn’t picky.

“
I’ll make some calls tomorrow.”

Keith wasn’t sure where his week had gone by the next Sunday. Basically, it had disappeared into a dark well of looking at houses and trying to get some work done. The work wasn’t so bad. The houses were another story. Bedrooms, bathrooms, backyards, floor plans, financing. It was enough to give a monk a migraine. During the day he burned up the phone lines. At night he burned up the modem. He had looked through so many virtual tours, his head felt like it was still spinning. On Sunday he’d had enough looking. He needed some peace.

Showing up on a cold call to the mansion wasn’t the best idea in the world, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Besides even if his parents nixed the idea, at least they would know the church thing was his idea and not Maggie’s. He rang the doorbell, knowing that just walking in would be a mistake.

Inez opened the door.

Keith’s nerves jumped to the surface. “Hi. Is Maggie here?”

Slowly Inez surveyed him head-to-toe, and her getting Maggie was less than certain.

“
Who is it, Inez?” his father’s voice boomed through the entryway.

The maid turned. “It’s Keith, Sir.”

Uh-oh. Not good. Not good. Not good.
Keith wanted to disappear. If the earth opened up and swallowed him, that would’ve been kind.

His father appeared at the door, and his eyes hardened as he gazed at his son. “I didn’t know we had a meeting today.”

The breath Keith tried to take in didn’t get his lungs. Instead it lodged at the top of them, making it impossible to talk. “I… Umm… I was wondering if Maggie and the kids wanted to go with me to church.”

The middle of his father’s eyebrows narrowed. “Church? Why?”

“
Be…Because I was going anyway, and…” He glanced out to his pickup and wished he had never thought of something so absurd as to come get her. “But that’s okay. I can go alone. I’m sorry. It was just a thought.” He started to turn, hoping he could get out of here without a yelling match.

“
Were you planning to take them in that thing?” his father asked, indicating Keith’s pickup with a nod.

Keith turned back. “Well, yeah. It’d kind of be a long walk otherwise.” The joke fell like a pancake under an army boot.

However, his father examined him without rebuke. “Inez, page Ramon. Have him bring the car around front.”

The middle of Keith pitched forward. “The car?”

“
If you’re going to go, you might as well go with a real driver.”

How his father could give such backhanded assistance, Keith wasn’t at all sure.

Inez came back. “He’s on his way, Sir.”

“
Good.” His father nodded. “Go tell Ms. Montgomery it’s time for church.”

“
Yes, Sir.”

Maggie hadn’t seen Keith for a whole week, and it was starting to grate her nerves not knowing where he was or if he was all right. She and Greg had talked twice during the week, and although he hadn’t asked her out again, that was just a matter of time. Had she met and fallen for Greg first, this would all be perfect. As it was, perfect felt a million miles away.

She sat on Isabella’s window seat and gazed out at the backyard. She wondered about Keith if his week had gone well, if the horses were coming along, if things were going well with Dallas. Yes, she would’ve even taken talking about Dallas to have the opportunity to talk with him about something.

“
Ms. Montgomery?” Inez asked as she knocked on the door.

Instantly Maggie was on her feet. “Yes, Ma’am?”

The look on Inez’s face went from happy and hopeful to condescending and cold. “Mr. Keith is here to see you.”

A joy she had never before felt flooded through her.

“
Keef!” Isabella said from the floor where she and Peter were playing.

Maggie knew she would need all the reinforcements she could get. She swung Isabella to her hip. “Come on, Peter. Let’s go see why Keith is here.” She followed Inez out the door.

“
He’s at the front,” Inez said but turned for the kitchen.

“
Okay.” Maggie walked to the main staircase and started down it. On the curve halfway down, she caught his gaze, and the smile couldn’t be stopped. However, she had to keep it as professional as possible because Mr. Ayer was standing there watching. “Hi. Inez said you wanted to see me?”

“
Hey,” Keith said. “I wondered if you wanted to go with me to church.” He seemed subdued and hesitant. His hands were behind his back, and his head was down more than it was up.

“
Oh… I don’t.” She glanced at Mr. Ayer. “I don’t know if the children…”

“
I’ve called the car, Ms. Montgomery,” Mr. Ayer said. “If you would like to take the children to church, I think that would be acceptable.”

She looked from his father to Keith and back again. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

The saddest but almost not there smile she had ever seen met her. “I think it would be good for them.”

The Dodge was one thing. The limo was quite another. Maggie helped Peter strap in while Keith got Isabella settled. When both children were ready, Maggie sat down on the plush seat that faced backward, and Keith sat next to her although at the far other end of the seat. He buckled in and then tapped the dividing door. The car rolled out.

This was beyond anything Maggie had ever expected. She wasn’t made to ride in limos. She wasn’t even made to stand on the street corner and watch a limo drive by. Limos weren’t a part of her world. However, the thought slid through her that they were how Keith had grown up. That thought stabbed into her as it illuminated in brilliant colors why they could never be together. Nonetheless, she was sure he was enjoying this chance to exhibit his status in the world. After all, wouldn’t everyone?