Deep in the Heart (40 page)

“
To the first turn we go.” The announcer slid through the horses’ names. “Dragnet in fourth.” The pounding of the hooves was so ingrained in Keith he heard them in his brain even if he couldn’t really hear them on the radio. “Dragnet seems to be making an inside move. Yes, he has overtaken Melody’s Dream on the inside corner. As they round the final turn… Oh! Oh no…”

Keith nearly fell off the chair. “What?”

“
Oh, no. Two of the horses got tangled underneath. It looks like… Dragnet and Mostafar are down at the inside railing on the last turn. And Melody’s Dream wins the third race at Fair Meadows. Troubadour second. And Walesland third.”

Keith launched out of the chair and stalked over to the entertainment center where he put his hands on the wood on either side of the stereo. “What about Dragnet? What happened to Dragnet?”

“
Oh, good. Good news. Mostafar has regained his footing and is being escorted from the track.”

“
What about Dragnet?” The frustration flowed through him like lava from a volcano.

Another announcer took over. “This looks really serious for the Ayer Stables horse Dragnet. He’s still down on the track. The trainer and medical team are on the track as well. Everyone in the stands is on their feet, and it’s clear to everyone this does not look good.”

Keith slammed his hand into the entertainment center. “I knew it.”

The most gut-wrenching minutes of his life passed as Keith placed phone call after phone call to Ike with no luck. He knew the trainer was knee-deep in chaos so after ten tries, he resorted to sitting on the couch with his hands clasped on his knees praying. Finally nearly an hour after the race started, his phone rang. His gaze swept over the ID as he hit the on button. “Is he all right?”

Ike sighed so hard it yanked Keith’s spirit all the way down. “It’s bad, Keith. I’ve never seen one shattered like that.”

“
What…? What happened? Where are you? How is he?”

“
The vet’s here. They’re fixing to put him down.”

“
Down?” Keith vaulted off the couch. “No, Ike! No! Don’t do that.”

Again Ike sighed. “Too late. I already talked to your dad.”

The words took Keith’s knees out from under him. “He… approved?”

“
He suggested it.” Ike sighed again. “The vet’s said it would take a miracle for him to even live much less to ever really walk again.”

For his own sake, Keith backed up from the story to keep from thinking about what was happening now. “What happened anyway? I couldn’t really tell from the radio.”

“
I don’t know. They were rounding the last turn, and they got tangled. Dragnet’s front right leg shattered in the process. I’m telling you, man, it’s bad.”

Clinging to rational, Keith sorted through the accident. “How’s Paul?”

“
Emergency room too, but he’s okay. A little banged up and shaken up, but he’ll be all right.”

“
And Drag…”

Ike was talking to someone else, and Keith wanted to shake him silly to get him to stop and fill him in on the details.

“
It’s a done deal,” Ike said after a moment of pause. “He’s gone.” Even Ike had to corral the emotions to be able to continue. “Listen, I’ve got to get. I’ll see you tomorrow, and we’ll figure out what’s next.”

“
I… Y…yeah. Okay. ‘bye.” Keith hung up the phone without really seeing it. Dragnet was gone. Just like that. And now he was never coming back. Grief jammed into Keith’s throat followed in the next breath by anger. Surely there was something someone could have done.

Who makes a snap decision about a quarter-million dollar horse like that? His thoughts smashed through the image of his father, and he yanked himself off the couch, grabbed his hat from the table and stalked out.

“
I’m hungry,” Peter said after Isabella was asleep Saturday afternoon. Most days during this time they simply played in the next room until she woke up, but today even Maggie was getting claustrophobic. She wished they could go out to the stables and go riding, but with Dallas back, Maggie didn’t have the guts to show her face anywhere she might be compared to the goddess.

“
Well, let’s go down and see what we can find.” She took Peter’s hand, and they trooped down to the kitchen. Inez was off shopping, and Patty Ann and Mrs. Ayer had gone to a luncheon for some organization Maggie couldn’t even pronounce. “How about a ham sandwich?” Her gaze caught on the blender, and she smiled although the memory stabbed into her heart.

“
Can I have peanut butter and jelly?” Peter climbed up the stool by the counter.

“
Peanut butter and jelly?” Maggie was surprised he’d ever even heard the term. “Sure. If I can find some.”

“
We used to have those with Mrs. Ortega before she got in trouble and left.”

Maggie opened the refrigerator. “Why’d she get into trouble?”

Peter shrugged. “For being in Mom’s room. We used to go in there a lot.”

The story was beginning to bring real curiosity to Maggie. “Oh? Why?”

“
So she could play dress up with Mommy’s earrings and stuff.”

“
Momm…” But she didn’t get that question out as the front door slammed with an earth-shaking crash. Fear pummeled into her. No one just walked in unannounced like that, especially not with a foundation-cracking door slam for emphasis. “Peter, you stay right there.” Wiping her hands on her pants, she went to the door and turned the corner to the foyer where she met Keith coming the other direction full-steam.

“
Is my father here?” He looked like he might bulldoze anyone who stood in his way.

“
Uh. No. I don’t think so. He’s gone until Monday, I think,” Maggie said, shaken by the sight of Keith who looked more out-of-control than she had ever seen him.

“
That figures.” He glanced over his shoulder. “You’re sure he’s not here.”

“
You can go check if you want, but…”

A scowl marred his face. It was almost as if he wasn’t even really seeing her when he looked at her. “I do not believe this.”

“
This… what? What happened?”

He glanced at her as anger flashed through his eyes. “My sorry excuse for a father told them to put Dragnet down without even consulting me.”

It was serious. That much she understood, but not much more. “Hold on. Who’s Dragnet?”

“
The horse we had racing today at Fair Meadows.” Keith seemed not to be able to contain the rage as his body rocked side to side with its power. “He went down around one of the turns, shattered his foreleg, and my brilliant father told them to just put him down.” His fist came up and then dropped to his thigh. “They didn’t even bother to call me before they made the decision.”

It wasn’t so much the news as how he was taking it that knocked into Maggie. She tilted her head to be able to see his face which was bowed. “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

He reached up and readjusted his hat, clearly fighting not to let any emotion other than rage find the surface. “Yeah. Can you get me a new father?”

She hated seeing him in such turmoil, and her voice became soft with compassion. “I wish I could.” She shouldn’t, she knew, but it was all she could think to do. With only a step toward him, she slid her arms through his. At first he seemed surprised, but then he bent his head onto her shoulder and clasped his arms around her so tightly she wondered if she would ever breathe again. Gently she rubbed his back with her hand. It was a funeral hug, just like the kind Mrs. Malowinski had taught her to give. The kind where you don’t let go until the hurting person does. And so she stood there in the middle of the Ayer mansion foyer holding Keith for no other reason than he hadn’t yet let go.

Finally his grip released, and he stepped back. There were no tears but anguish slashed across his face just the same. “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

“
I think Patty Ann said Monday.” Maggie wished with everything in her that she could do something to ease the pain searing across his face.

“
Then I guess I’ll be back Monday.”

She followed him to the door. “Are you going to be okay?”

Sad acceptance slid through the ache. “Do I have a choice?” And with that, he left.

“
Hello. How was your day?” Dallas asked, walking up and kissing the side of Keith’s cheek as he sat at the table, slowly spinning the Spaghetti O’s on his plate.

They were cold by now. In fact they’d been cold for 30 minutes, but he hadn’t had the energy to even get up.

“
Ugh. The malls were swamped. End of school all those kids with nothing better to do. It was a madhouse.” She walked into the hallway still talking all the way to the bedroom and back. “Tracy is going crazy. Her maid of honor dress came in like two sizes too big. They’re having to do all these alterations. I’m glad mine is done, and the pictures are done, and the photographer’s confirmed.” She went into the kitchen and got some water.

“
Have you heard from Jane yet? She said she’d call when that house she was working on listed.” Dallas walked back into the dining room and stopped. “Keith, are you listening to me? Good grief, you look like the morning after the night before.”

“
Yeah,” he said for no other reason than some of the times that was enough to satisfy her. It was as if his life had closed in around him in one swipe. He needed something, something to hold onto that felt solid and safe. “Umm, I’m thinking about going to church tomorrow. I was wondering if you wanted to go.”

“
Church?” She made the word sound more like prison. “What would you want to go to church for?”

“
Well, we had some trouble with the stables today, and I thought…”

“
Oh? What kind of trouble?”

He exhaled, feeling like he was giving her his heart. “They put one of our horses down at the track where it was racing. It shattered a leg.”

Dallas paused for a long moment, and then it became clear she was waiting for more. “Is that all? You’re moping around because of some dumb horse?”

Squish went his heart.

“
Jeez, Keith. It’s just a horse. What’d you think it was going to live forever?”

Why did he bother? He stood from the table, took his plate to the sink and dumped the Spaghetti O’s down the disposal, liking the growling noise it made.

“
Mom called today. They got five more gifts in for the wedding. Some of the crystal and the china. But now she’s freaking out because we should’ve had them route all the presents to Texas.” Dallas took a drink. “You know my mom. She’ll find something to complain about, and if she can’t find something, she’ll make something up.”

“
So church is out then?” he asked, verifying in case he had misunderstood.

Dallas shook her head and laughed. “Sometimes you are so funny.”

Maggie had known they wouldn’t be going to church, but still, it hurt that they weren’t. All day Sunday she went through their routine, and every time her mind traced to Keith, she said a prayer for him. She hoped he’d found some peace about the horse. She knew how attached he was to them, and any time you put that much effort and love into anything, losing it is like ripping the foundation out from under you. “Dear Lord, please be with Keith. Remind him that You are there and that You love him.”

It was the second worst Sunday of Keith’s life, and that was saying something. The night before he had wanted alcohol worse than he ever had in his entire life, and yet he had thrown all of it out the night after his decision on the matter. However, he hadn’t counted on how badly un-dulled pain hurt. It felt like it would kill him outright, and long after midnight he had resorted to getting up and going to the living room to read Maggie’s Bible that he had secreted in the hidden compartment in the entertainment center.

Dallas would never understand—not in a million years. So since her arrival, he had done his best not to think about the little book he had spent many nights reading before her arrival. It was so strange to be two different people. So strange. After most of the night spent reading, he found himself on Sunday half real Keith, half Keith Ayer as he stalked into the stables, trying to find something that would take his mind off of not being with Maggie at church.

Real Keith wanted answers as to what happened on that track and to lay down the law that this would never happen again. Keith Ayer, however, knew that wasn’t his place. He wasn’t the manager here. He was just putting in time. In two weeks he would ride off into the sunset with his new bride, and this place would be a distant memory.

As he fed the horses, he stopped at Dragnet’s stall, the hay in his hands, the empty stall beyond the gate. With a shake of his head, his heart shattered, and he stepped past that stall to Nell’s. “Good morning, girl. How’s it going?” He threw the hay over and tried not to think about how empty the stables felt today. His thoughts went to when Ike and Tanner would return. Tomorrow at the earliest. Would it be better to ask for every detail like he wanted to or to just shrug it off as if it didn’t make an ounce of difference to him? After all, that’s how everyone else seemed to think he should act.

It was enough to make a stress headache feel like an aneurysm.

Just after lunch on Monday afternoon the pickup and trailer crept up the trail and stopped at the stables in a small cloud of dust. Keith, who’d just returned himself came out of the breezeway. Ike got out one side of the pickup, Tanner the other. Both heads were down, neither set of eyes came up to meet his. They stalked past him to the office. Frustrated, Keith turned and followed them.