Deep in the Heart (39 page)

Halfway to the far fence, Keith stopped, and even in her anguish, Maggie saw his. He seemed not able to face what lay in front of him as his head was back, and his eyes were closed. “I miss her so much.”

Maggie stepped over to him and put her hand on his upper arm. “I know. Believe me, I know.” At that moment she glanced down at the headstone, and reality scattered. “Oh, my…”

That brought Keith’s senses back to him with a snap. He looked over at her, concern and grief whiplashing their way through him. “What, Maggie? What is it?”

She stood, staring at the headstone, her hand over her mouth. It was as if she had frozen in place right there.

Fear drove into him. “Maggie, what’s wrong?”

“
She… They…” Maggie was shaking her head as horrible thoughts went across her face. Then she looked at him in blank disbelief. “They died the same day.”

He wasn’t following. “What…? Who…?”

It was all she could do to get the words out. “My parents and your mom. They died the same day.”

The trip home was spent in stunned silence. Neither of them knew what to say to the other, and so no one said anything. At the mansion Keith let Maggie out and made some lame excuse about needing to check on things at the stables. She, too, had things to do, and so they went their separate ways. The rest of the week was pretty much living that one hour over and over again. There was the shock of it, followed by the numbness.

Maggie did her best to be normal around the kids, but it wasn’t easy. She wondered how he was doing, and she even thought about calling to check. But she always talked herself out of it. If he was doing half as bad as she was, talking to her would just confirm that it had actually happened. And somehow making believe it hadn’t seemed easier.

“
For someone leaving for a four-day party, you look like death warmed over,” Ike said on Thursday evening. “You okay?”

Okay? It was such a strange word. How could you ever tell you were okay? Maybe others could, but your real thoughts and feelings were so unreliable, how could you ever be sure? Keith’s thoughts swept him away from the conversation so fast, he didn’t realize he hadn’t answered.

With a concerned look, Ike swung onto the chair. “Is everything all right?”

Keith looked at him as the emotions threatened to break through the numbness. Vehemently he pushed them back. “What do you remember about the accident?”

“
Accident?” Ike looked like he’d driven around a blind corner. “What accident?”

“
Mom’s. When she was killed. What do you know about it?”

The horrified look on Ike’s face barely registered in Keith’s fuzzy brain. “Why?”

“
Because I want to know. That’s why. I’ve never really known. One day she was here, and then she wasn’t. Nobody ever told me what really happened.”

Ike got up and went to the filing cabinet. “Well, it was a long time ago. I don’t really remember all the details.”

“
Then give me the rough outline, Ike. Come on. I’m 29. I’m not a child any more.”

“
I don’t know that anyone really knows what happened. It was kind of… Well, it wasn’t real clear. There was a crash, and she went through the windshield. That’s all we were ever really told.”

Keith’s grief gripped him. “Yeah, but what did she hit—a tree, a sign, another car?”

“
I don’t think she hit anything. I think it just happened.”

This was a one-way trip down a blind alley.

Ike came back to the desk. “Listen, Keith. It was a long time ago, and stuff like that is better just put to rest and left alone. There’s nothing you can do about it now except accept it and move on.”

Keith wanted to lash out, to take his anger and grief out on Ike, but that wasn’t fair. Ike had pulled him through like no one else had. And there was no reason for Ike to lie. If he didn’t know, he didn’t know. Keith wrenched himself out of the chair and stalked to the office door. “I’m going to make rounds, and then I’m going to pack for Vermont. I’ll be back Tuesday.”

“
Have a safe trip.”

Greg called again on Friday, and again Maggie told him no. She knew Keith was already gone. The whole house was buzzing with the anticipation of Dallas’s graduation and their imminent arrival on Monday. Monday. It seemed to occupy a space in a parallel universe—one in which he was again attached to Dallas’s side, and Maggie was left to occupy the little, infinitesimal space she called life. “Dear God, please get me through Monday, and the Tuesday after that, and the Wednesday after that…”

“
Dallas Celeste Henderson,” the speaker at the podium read, and with that Keith watched her stride across the stage and accept first her diploma and then the hood of her new, vaunted position in life. He clapped politely, just like her parents did beside him.

They had all apparently decided to leave the unpleasantries until after Dallas’s victorious walk. Tomorrow they would argue. Today they would celebrate.

“
This is Keith Ayer, my fiancé,” Dallas purred as they made their way around the well-appointed restaurant. “He’s
Conrad Ayer’s
son.”

“
Oh,” several of their prey said. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ayer.”

Keith smiled, hoping he looked happy about the connection Dallas was so fond of making. They got to the refreshment table after a walk that would’ve left a camel dehydrated, and Dallas took a flute of champagne and handed him one. However, Keith held up his hand.

“
No thanks.”

“
No thanks?” Dallas laughed. “What does that mean?”

“
It means I don’t really want to drink right now.”

“
Yeah, right.” She pressed the glass into his hand. “For later.”

He’d watered three flowering plants and two green ones, hoping it wouldn’t kill them. If Dallas kept this up, he’d have the whole place watered by the time they left. They’d been at this party for three hours, and it was getting boring making small talk with people who cared nothing for him except because of his family’s money. Nonetheless, he followed her around like a good little puppy dog until his feet ached from the monkey shoes he’d had to wear.

“
You know, I’m really beat,” he said as the clock slid toward eleven. “What do you say we go back to the hotel?”

“
Ooo.” Dallas slipped her arms around his neck. “Now there’s an idea.”

Being with Dallas was like taking a turn on a stuck CD. She had two modes sex and money. And then every so often he got really lucky, and she turned on the power mode. How she couldn’t wait to be at Hayden & Elliott, how she planned to make junior partner before 28, how with his money and her family’s connections, she was destined for full partnership before 32, it was only a question of if she would stay that long.

By the time they landed in Houston, Keith had never been so happy to get off a plane in his life. Although he had brought his pickup, Dallas insisted on the mansion sending the limo to get them. So Jeffrey had come for the pickup, and they rode in the limo. The rest of her stuff was being shipped to a storage building until they found a place of their own, which considering that house hunting started tomorrow, was only a matter of time.

“
I’m so happy to be home.” Dallas lifted Keith’s hand which was intertwined with hers and arched it over her shoulder. “This is too good to be true.”

“
Yeah,” he said, trying to be enthusiastic but not even getting close.

When they drove into the gates of the estate, Dallas just about squirmed out of her skin with excitement. However, the second the driver slid past the main circle, the squirming stopped. She sat up incredulously. “Why aren’t we stopping? Where is he going?”

“
To the guesthouse, Dallas. Where you’re staying. Remember?”

“
Well, yeah… but I thought we’d stop at the mansion first, to… you know. Say hello.”

Keith laughed softly. “No one’s home.” His thoughts went to one who probably was, but he yanked that thought back.

“
No one? Not even the staff?”

He lifted his eyebrows. “You want to say hello to the staff?”

She caught herself then and leaned back petulantly. “Fine. We’ll go to the guesthouse.”

“
The square footage is 2,750,” the agent said as she led them through the third house on Tuesday afternoon. They were all pretentious, all way over what they needed, and all meant only to impress anyone who happened to be impressible.

“
That’s a little small,” Dallas said, folding her arms unconvinced.

“
Yes, but it does have a pool and a library.”

“
Well…” Dallas said as Keith followed her around the vaulted entryway with the crystal chandelier hanging high above.

“
It’s okay, Ms. Henderson. I have lots more properties to see.”

“
Then let’s keep looking.”

If there was a house they missed, Keith’s feet wouldn’t have believed it. The next morning as he stuck them in his cowboy boots, they groaned. However, he had chores to do, work. Good, honest work, and he wasn’t going to let some little triviality like his feet feeling like they were about to fall off keep him from it.

“
Are you leaving already?” Dallas asked, coming from the hallway. Her silk robe tied just so around her body.

“
Gotta get cracking.” He stood and put on his hat over his bandana.

She wrapped her arms over themselves like an angry teacher. “Ugh. Do you have to wear that ugly thing? It’s disgusting.”

“
I’m working in the stables. The horses wouldn’t be impressed with a coat and tie anyway.”

With a shake of her head, her scowl deepened. “We’ve got to find you something else. If I have to look at that thing every day of my life, just shoot me now.”

It was a thought; however, he shoved that thought down. “I’ll be back for dinner. We’ve got to get Dragnet ready to go for tomorrow.”

“
Dinner?” Dallas sat down at the table petulantly. “But I thought we were going to take a mini-vacation.”

“
No. I said you are going to take a mini-vacation. You’ve got all day to yourself.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Help yourself to anything you need. I’ll see you later.”

“
Yeah, later.” And there wasn’t an ounce of happiness anywhere in the words.

“
I don’t know,” Ike said, striding into the office. “Paul’s got Drag on the track, and he’s about as jumpy as a June bug. I don’t know how he’ll fly at the race Saturday.”

“
Pulling him’s not an option?” Tanner asked with concern.

Ike looked at Keith who sat at the desk, trying not to listen. “I talked to Mr. Ayer last week, and he’s adamant that we’re racing him.” Ike put up his hands. “I’ve done all I can do.”

Like clockwork, Greg called on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Maggie hadn’t seen Keith in so long it was almost possible to make herself believe he really was just a nice dream. However, the pit of this-isn’t-what-I-want stayed with her each time she talked to Greg.

“
Friday night,” Greg said. “Come on, Maggie. Why don’t you just ask off? It can’t be that hard.”

She put her head in her hand and dragged her fingers through her hair. “Greg, we’ve been over this. They haven’t hired anyone new, and I can’t just leave.”

“
Even for one night?”

“
Even for one minute.”

Dallas was out shopping. Again. Keith wondered how there could be that many things to buy in all of Houston. She’d already bought new sheets for his bed, which she didn’t even plan to take with them, new kitchen towels, new bathroom towels, and two new pillows that were on the couch but not to be touched nor sat on. He’d found that out the hard way.

Grateful for a small reprieve from her omnipresence, Keith turned on the satellite radio in the living room Saturday afternoon and sat down in the recliner. With the remote control he flipped through the channels until the race came in so clear it was like he was at the track.

“
We’re here at the third race at Fair Meadows.” The announcer went through the line up of horses, and when Dragnet’s name was called second, Keith sat forward.

Elbows on his knees, he tapped his lips with his index fingers. “Come on, Paul. Just take it easy on him and get through this race. We can concentrate on winning the next one.” Seconds slid by as the track personnel went through their race-start protocol.

Keith was glad he hadn’t gone. Race day always razed his nerves. Traveling frayed them even further. Being around that many people and having to act like an owner rather than a trainer really was impossible. He hated the way people looked at him when they knew who he was. No, this was better, sitting here listening, alone and anonymous was much, much better.

“
The horses are in the gate. Oh, number two seems a bit jumpy today.”

“
Settle down, Drag. Just settle down. Calm him down, Paul and get through this.”

“
Looks like they’re working with him.” A minute slid by. “Okay, I believe we are set. The horses are in their gates, and they’re… off.”

Keith sat forward, coaching Paul as if he could really see him. “Come on. Come on.”