Deeper Than Need (21 page)

Staring … thinking.

Hank.

That was Hank.

Hank Redding saw the whole thing.

Considering the way he was sitting there, Trinity suspected he was
still
seeing it.

Sympathy moved through her.

“Mama! The light’s changed.”

Giving Micah a distracted smile, she pulled her phone out. “Just hold on a minute, baby, okay?”

*   *   *

Some days were roller coasters and this one definitely counted. After that dream, it had taken a blistering shower and four cups of coffee before he felt human. He’d spent a little bit of time with his Bible, because that had settled his mind—it usually did. Then seeing Trinity had taken away the raw edges left by the dream.

But it wasn’t long before he dropped down low again—Louisa had been on a tangent, railing about some fool who’d vandalized her plants. From what Noah could see, only one of them was messed up, and to him it looked like it had just been knocked over. Some new soil and a stake to support it for a while might take care of it. Then he had to deal with more questions about Trinity’s house and why were people still asking him anyway?

There was only one word to describe this day and it wasn’t the kind of word he’d let himself think.

The phone rang, “The Imperial March” coming from his belt loop, and he pulled it off.

Just like that … the day took a turn for the better. Seeing Trinity’s number on his cell pulled him out of his dark mood, although he knew it wouldn’t take much to send him crashing. Days like this made it hard for him to level.

“Hi,” she said.

Memories of the dream—before it went to hell—swamped him. His blood started to hum through his veins and need beat along with it, a hungry tattoo that was going to drive him insane. The heat settled down low in his groin. Hunger and need tangled inside him, a heady mix that he just didn’t want to fight. Not at all.

“Hi back,” he said, tugging off his gloves and signaling to Thomas Yoder.

They headed up a group of Amish builders out of Switzerland County. Thom was Caine’s second-in-charge. With a friendly smile Thom turned away and went to let his men know it was time for lunch. Noah took that time to slide out of the room.

“How are you doing?” he asked, trying not to think about how pretty she’d looked that morning. How elegant and cool … and sexy. He’d looked at her and remembered how she’d looked in his dream, wearing nothing but a work shirt awfully similar to the kind he wore.

He wanted to muss her up. Taste her—

“Oh … fine,” she said, cutting through the fantasies that were stirring inside him.

Fine.
Her voice didn’t sound fine. He might have let it slide, if it was anybody but Trinity.

“Huh. For some reason, I’m not quite buying that. Jeb didn’t come back around and start bugging you again, did he? He can be a bulldog.”

She laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in the sound. Still, it was enough to tug that knot of want harder, tangle it up even tighter. The need Noah had for her was a red cloud, one that surrounded him, entrapped him, and he wanted to get lost in it—in her.

It was getting harder and harder to ignore it. He didn’t even
want
to ignore it

“No. It’s nothing like that. It’s just been one of those days. Spilled coffee; I turn on the computer to do filing and can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing. A dozen hang-up calls, and count them … three paper cuts. Petty stuff, all of that. I can’t stop thinking about that guy.”

“Lee,” Noah said softly. Yeah, he was having a hard time not thinking about that, too.

“Yeah. Anyway, listen, the detective this morning. He said something about your friend Hank. That he saw it, right?”

“Yes.” Noah slid out the back door. “He’s taking the day off. I was about to go check up on his crew—”

“He’s here.”

Noah stopped. “At the office?”

“No. I took Micah out for lunch and he’s sitting on a bench on Main Street. Just sitting there. Noah, he looks terrible.”

Turning his head, he stared up the alley. There was no reason to check on the crew. They’d gathered in the courtyard in the back, most of them already halfway through their lunch. A few of them fell silent as he walked by. He lifted a hand in greeting but didn’t stop as he headed up the narrow path that cut between the coffee shop and Shakers. The door to Shakers opened and he saw Adam come through, but even when Adam went to say something, Noah just shook his head.

Even before he left the alley, he saw her.

The bright banner of her hair was still pulled up and back, restrained in a neat little twist. Earlier, he’d wanted to figure out how to take it down, see all that gold fall down around her shoulders; then he wanted to fist his hands in it and take her mouth, see what she’d do just before he kissed her … something he was starting to think he’d really have to do before much longer.

It was a thought he had no business thinking just then, he knew, not when a guy he’d known most of his life lay dead, not when a man he called one of his friends sat just across the street, staring out at the world like he had absolutely no idea where he was, who he was.

Trinity had no idea Noah was there, still gripping the phone. He stood there, mesmerized, unable to look away.

“Noah, are you there?” she asked, her voice soft. Soft and steady, but it broke the spell.

Tearing his eyes away, he shifted his attention and looked around until he found Hank. “I’m here. I’m just across the street. I’ll be there in a minute. Go ahead and hang up, angel.”

It slipped out of him without him realizing it until he’d already disconnected. But there was no taking it back. Her head turned, and across the street their gazes locked and connected.

It was the sort of
connection
that just went all the way through him, too, and he could tell just by looking at her that she felt it, too. He felt it echo through him, from his head down to the soles of his feet, and every inch in between, centering square in his chest … and a little lower as the blood settled low in his groin and started to pulse, hot and heavy.

The air in his lungs felt superheated. The air around him felt charged.

All from a look.

What would happen if he went to her then? he wondered. If he touched her then. If he … what … what would he do? It had been
twenty years
since he’d even
wanted
to feel some sort of connection, and back then it had been easy.

Everything with Lana had been easy. He’d been young and stupid and naïve … and in love. Life had been simple then, and now it was anything but. Then, he hadn’t had any idea what it was to hurt.

Things with Trinity would be anything
but
easy. He was older, more tired, and even though the feelings he had for her were spiraling far out of control, and fast, life was not even close to simple and he’d spent too much time knowing nothing
but
hurt. Loneliness.

But he still couldn’t cut her out of his mind. Somehow, she’d worked herself into the very fabric of his soul.

Figure it out after you take care of Hank,
Noah told himself. At least he’d acknowledged it. He had stepped out of the shadows of his past, even if they still dogged him. Everything else could be figured out.

After Hank.

Slanting his gaze toward the other man, Noah felt a chill settle around his heart, one that was enough to cool any lingering rush of heat.

It was almost enough to turn his blood to ice, really.

Hank looked like a corpse sitting there, skin waxen, eyes sunken and hollow. Just yesterday, he and Noah had been talking and the man had looked fine.

Now …

Trinity stood a few yards away. She smiled at Noah and Micah saw him, his eyes lighting up. Before the boy could come barreling toward Noah, she caught up and swooped Micah up in her arms, strong and steady, pressing a kiss to his neck. “Come on, big guy. I think Mr. Noah has somebody he needs to talk to. Maybe we’ll see him later, okay?”

“But…”

Noah didn’t hear any of the argument as Trinity carried Micah away down the street. Settling on the bench next to Hank, Noah rested his elbows on his knees and stared out over the street. Cars drove by, darting into parking spaces, idling at the lights, creeping ever closer as they waited for the lights to shift to green.

Life,
he thought. Somehow, no matter how bad things got, no matter what horrors or tragedies happened, it just always carried on.

“I heard about Lee,” Noah said after a minute.

“Preach, you don’t need to be worrying about me any,” Hank said, his voice slow and raspy. “You got enough worrying, trying to take care of half the town the way you do. I’ll be okay.”

“I don’t worry about half the town.”

With a halfhearted smile Hank murmured, “Just about. How many nights you stay up late trying to take care of those kids on those forums?”

“I don’t pay that much attention.” Restless, he shrugged. “Hank, why are you here? Go on home to Tina. You got a good man who can help with your crew for a day or two and I’ll help out as much as I can. They’re doing fine right now. Why don’t you take a day or two, let your mind settle, okay?”

“Let my mind settle.” He nodded slowly. “I could do that. Maybe. But I can’t stop seeing it. Why…?”

Abruptly he clapped his hands over his eyes like that might block out some horror that only he could see.

Noah wished he could take it from Hank. The man had enough nightmares to last him a lifetime. He’d never gone into detail about what had happened or who had done it, but a few times they’d talked. Some bad things had been done to him as a boy. Very bad. Noah would like to make somebody pay for that, but by the time Hank ever mentioned it years had passed and the man wouldn’t give up a single name.

The nightmares, though, Noah knew the man had nightmares. More than anybody should ever have to bear. He didn’t need any more.

Rubbing his palms together, Noah blew out a breath. Finally, he looked over at the other man. “Hank, if you’re looking for answers, you know there are times when there just aren’t any. Looking for them isn’t going to make this any easier for you to understand.”

Hank’s shoulders, wide and sturdy, shuddered as he gulped in a ragged breath of air. “Why did he take off running like that? I just don’t get it.”

Noah had finally gotten a full recount of what had happened last night, thanks to one of the EMTs who’d worked the scene. They attended church together and the EMT had been nursing a cup of coffee at the café before he went home to try to sleep. The knowledge didn’t make it any easier to know what to say to Hank, though.

Sometimes there just wasn’t any
easy.
Nothing about death was supposed to be easy, though.

“The only man who could answer that question for you isn’t with us anymore, Hank. But it’s a good possibility that he just wasn’t thinking. Lee had a history of trouble. You know that as well as I do. Whatever possessed him to go into Trinity’s house last night? I guess he didn’t want to get caught. He spent a long time running from whatever demons he had. Last night, they were running a little faster than normal.”

“Running from his demons…” Hank closed his eyes. “This fucking town. It’s lousy with them.”

The venom in Hank’s voice caught Noah off-guard.

“Hank, what happened last night was an accident. The Tremble kids—”

“Fuck it. I ain’t talking about those kids.” Hank surged upright. “Stupid mistake and now they live with that stupid mistake their whole lives, although their dad was told time and again he needed to get them in line. He didn’t and now what? A man is dead, they were drunk when they hit him … but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

He turned and stared off down the street. His mouth flattened out into a thin, straight line and rage seemed to pour from him. “Monsters,” he muttered. “They are every-
fucking
-where you turn here, Noah. I need to get the hell away from here. Me, my wife, my kids…”

He slid Noah a look. “If you were smart, you’d get the hell out of this town, too.”

“What are you talking about?”

A car came idling down the road, a long, black town car, the windows tinted, the paint polished to a mirror shine. It slowed just a bit as Hank turned his head and glared hard in the direction of the driver’s window.

Then Hank looked back at him. “Nothing, Preach. My head’s fucked up. That’s all. I gotta get out of here. Walk home. Get some air. I’ll be back on the job tomorrow, make sure we get our part of the project finished.” He nodded and turned away, striding down the street, shoulders rigid, hands jammed in his pockets.

*   *   *

“Think he’ll be all right?”

Noah looked over his shoulder and saw Trinity a few feet away. She held a white bag in her hand.

“I thought you-all were getting some lunch.”

“We did … to go.” She smiled a little as Micah swung their hands.

“We’re going to go eat by the fountain,” Micah said. “You can come if you want.”

“I’d love to, but I’m already running behind today, Rocketboy.” Noah gazed down the street, but Hank was already out of sight. What had he been going on about? “Maybe we can do a rain check.”

“What’s a rain check?”

“It means we’ll do it some other time,” Trinity murmured, stroking his hair back. She bent down and murmured in his ear, pointing to the window of the bookstore.

Micah’s eyes rounded and he took off, running to press his face against the glass.

“You are a pro at misdirection,” Noah mused.

“Comes with the job.” She studied him. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve had better days. But I’ll be all right.”

She nodded. “What about your friend Hank? Will he be okay? He was looking pretty rough.”

“Yes. Yes, he was.” Still slumped on the bench, Noah rubbed his hands down his face. “Those two were friends a long, long time.”

“Did you know him?”

“Lee?” Noah glanced up at her. “Not so much. Just to say
hi
is all. But he was close to Hank.” Sighing, Noah forced himself to stand up. It seemed like he’d aged twenty years in the past twenty minutes. “I need to get back to work.”