Defensive (21 page)

Vanessa

I hadn’t felt this comfortable in a while. I didn’t really want to open my eyes. I felt like I could just stay wherever I was forever. I knew that wasn’t possible so I cracked my eyelids open and was happy to know that I was in Jackson’s bedroom.
Our
bedroom.

I wasn’t real sure if this was the best decision of my life but I
did
know that I wanted to be with him. He made me feel safe and protected. I don’t know why I had been so stubborn and pushed him away. I was so heartbroken over the loss of our baby and angry over his reaction to Shane that distance was my first reaction.

I rolled over to face him before he tightened his hold around my waist. “Morning, beautiful,” he muttered.

I kissed his lips softly. “Good morning to you, too.”

“This is an amazing way to wake up. I plan on doing it every day for the rest of my life.”

“You can’t. You travel too much for that,” I told him as I kissed up his neck and let my hands roam over his body.

“Mmm. Okay… God, that feels good. Every day I’m… not travelling,” he finally got out as he rolled me over and hovered over me.

I walked into the teachers’ lounge for lunch on Monday and threw my food in the microwave. Just as I hit the start button, the door opened and in strolled Carla, the bitchiest teacher.

“Oh, hey, Vanessa. I’m so sorry to hear about you and Jackson.”

“What about me and Jackson?” I asked.

“What do you mean? You broke up,” she said with a big smile on her face.

“Crap. If that’s true, then I should probably go move all of my things out of
our
place that I moved into yesterday.” I knew it was a little petty of me to act this way since she had been out of work after having gallbladder surgery. She was relying on gossip from two weeks ago, but she was a bitch, enjoying my breakup.

“What?” she asked as she sank down in a chair.

I turned around before I grabbed my meal out of the microwave. It burned my damn finger but I was having too much fun watching her face to care. As I walked over to a table, I asked, “What do you mean? What?”

“But I heard you broke up. I figured he finally came to his senses.”

“Could you be any more jealous? You can rest assured knowing that, even if I wasn’t in the picture, you’d never have a chance in hell with him.” A part of me wanted to ask him to show up every day during lunch just so we could make out in front of Carla. I wasn’t sure if I hated her but it was very, very close.

“Whatever, Vanessa. I’m sure this is just a fling type thing for him. That’s what he’s known for. Don’t think you’re anything special.”

I didn’t even glance up. “Okay. Believe whatever makes you feel better. Just do me a favor? Don’t think of my boyfriend when you’re alone tonight and bored.”

I heard her gasp. Just as I looked up, the door was flung open and she was practically running out of the room. I wasn’t sure why I had said that to her, but I couldn’t help but giggle to myself. I heard my phone ringing inside my purse and I pulled it out to see Jackson’s name on the screen.

“Hey,” I greeted him.

“Hey, babe. I was just calling to see how you were feeling.”

I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “I’m fine. Really. But it’s sweet that you called to check.”

“I just needed to make sure. I know you wouldn’t call me and ask for help. Is it bad that I also wanted an excuse to talk to you?” he asked.

“Not bad at all. You never need an excuse, though. Call me anytime.”

“I’m leaving in about 30 minutes. You’ll be fine here tonight, right? Would you rather stay with your brother?”

“I’ll be fine. I promise. Remember, I’m in the safe neighborhood now.”

“Trust me I haven’t forgotten. I lined up a mover for Wednesday. I’ll be in town and I’ll oversee the move for you.”

“Sounds great. I gotta go but thanks for calling me. I’ll miss you like crazy.”

He groaned. “I’ll miss you, too. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hit ‘end’ and threw my phone back in my purse. I couldn’t believe that, when I left work for the day, I’d be going home to Jackson’s place. Our home. The thought made me smile.

I changed into a baggy sweatshirt of Jackson’s and some yoga pants, deciding a night watching Netflix and then the Thunder game was in order. I could get lost in a movie and forget how much I missed him until it was time to see him on the screen playing. The doorbell rang just as I made it to the last step of the staircase. I figured it had to be someone I knew but my heart rate kicked up a notch anyway. I knew my mugger was behind bars and would stay that way for a while since he was out on parole when he attacked me. I still felt a little scared though. I quietly walked over to the door and peeped through the hole to find my brother on the other side of the door. Relief washed over me.

I opened the door. “Hey, what are you two doing here?” I asked looking at Landon and Eric.

“Have you eaten? We were in the neighborhood and figured we would see if you were hungry.” He shrugged.

I stepped aside to let them in. “I’m not dumb, you know. You don’t live close to here. You came by to check on me, since you knew Jackson’s out of town.”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said as we sat down on the couch. “I am hungry, though. Wanna just stay here and get something delivered? I don’t feel like changing.”

“Sounds good to us,” he replied, taking his phone out and texting someone.

“Who are you texting? You’re not a texter. Is it a girl?” I asked.

He looked up. “What? No, it’s not a girl.”

“Fine, don’t tell me. I’m going to go look for some menus,” I said as I got up.

“It was your boyfriend. He asked if I would make sure you were okay.”

I looked back at him. “Seriously? He asked that you check on me like I’m a child?”

“Don’t get mad or defensive. He was terrified when he found you unconscious the other night. He’s just being a caring boyfriend.”

I sighed. He was right. I was being defensive about not being able to take care of myself. He wasn’t saying I couldn’t; he was still thinking about the other night. “I’m not mad. It’s just weird to have someone around who cares is all.”

“I get that, sis. You’ve been through a lot over the years but you need to let him care about you. It’s okay to let someone take care of you every once in a while. Doesn’t make you needy or pathetic. I wish I had someone around to help me out.”

“You’re right,” I told him and then decided to change the subject. “So, have you been out lately?”

“No. I’m kinda busy with my full-time job and full-time parent thing.”

“No need to get snippy. Maybe you should try to go out and meet someone. I’m here to babysit. Let me help you.”

“Listen, I didn’t come over here to talk about my love life. Let’s just order something and watch TV.”

“Okay. Whatever you say,” I said.

“Is the game on regular TV?” he asked.

“Yep, I was going to watch Netflix and then watch the game when it started.”

“Sound good, Eric?” Landon asked.

Eric looked over at us from where he was sprawled out in the recliner. “Yeah, I love watching Uncle Jackson.”

I had to giggle a little at that comment. “Uncle Jackson, huh? We’d have to be married for him to be your uncle.”

He shrugged. “That’s what he told me to call him ever since I started playing video games with him.”

I looked over at my brother. “What does he mean ‘started playing video games with him?’”

He seemed to be considering his words carefully. “Um, well, Eric and I have been hanging out with Jackson when he’s in town.”

Huh. I guess it didn’t matter that much since we were back together. “He really said to call him Uncle Jackson?”

Eric looked at me again with a confused look. “Is that not okay?”

“It’s fine. It’s perfect.” The thought made me smile. Even though I had been awful to Jackson by pushing him away, he was still hanging out with my family and considered himself an uncle to my nephew
.

“Hey, um, we’re hungry and you never called in a delivery,” Landon pointed out.

“Oh crap, sorry.”

“So, would you mind watching Eric on Friday?” he blurted out.

“No, I don’t mind. We can go to the game together. Do I get to ask what you’re doing or is that talking about your personal life?” I asked.

“I might have asked Amanda on a date while we were at the hospital.”

A huge smile spread across my face as I hugged him. “She said yes, right?”

“Yeah, she said yes. I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“I am so excited for both of you!” I yelled as a tear escaped my eye.

“Why are you crying?”

I pointed to my eyes. “Happy tears!”

“Okay, enough about me. What’s up with you and Shane since you’re back with Jackson?”

“I called him after I got out of the hospital. I explained that he would always be my friend and we could hang out every once in a while, but Jackson was my life now. He agreed and was happy for me. He really isn’t the guy I was married to. He’s the guy I grew up with and dated.”

He pursed his lips and nodded but didn’t say anything. Typical Landon, but I was grateful in that moment. I didn’t want to share Shane’s drug problem, which was the only way anyone would understand my forgiveness.

After the pizza was delivered and we watched the Thunder beat the opposing team, I hugged them both goodbye and headed upstairs to shower. I knew Jackson would call as soon as he was available so I wanted to be open to take his call. As soon as I crawled under the covers, my phone rang from the nightstand. “Hello?”

“God, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Why the sad voice? You just played an amazing game and y’all won,” I said as I rolled over.

“Where are you? Are you in bed?” he asked.

“Yeah. You didn’t answer my question. You should sound happy.”

He sighed. “I am happy but I really want to be in bed with you.”

I giggled. “Soon. Tomorrow night.”

“Tonight. We’re flying back tonight. It may be three in the morning when I get there but I’ll be there when you wake up.”

I smiled at that. “Then don’t be sad. Think positive.”

“You really are a teacher. Always the optimist, except with yourself.”

“Maybe.” He had a point. I always encouraged everyone else, but felt too inferior to do anything in my own life.

“Not maybe. Truth. But that’s okay. I’m here to show you for the rest of your life just how amazing and wonderful you are.”

“You’re those things, too,” I said. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey, no more of that. You deserve better. I can’t wait to get home and show you exactly how amazing you are. And beautiful.”

“Quit trying to sweet talk me and get your ass back here,” I told him, trying to lighten the mood.

He snickered. “I’m hurrying. Believe me, I’m hurrying. I love you, babe.”

“I love you, too.” I told him before disconnecting and placing my phone back on the nightstand.

At some point in the night, I felt the bed dip and Jackson laid down behind me, moving me close. I wasn’t completely awake but I did feel him kiss my cheek and whisper, “I love you.” I wasn’t really sure if it came out or not but I tried through my sleepy state to whisper it back to him.