Definitely, Maybe in Love (26 page)

Timing…

“Why did she invite you?” he asked.

I hooked my chin over his shoulder and ran a hand through the back of his hair. “I wasn’t doing very well without you,” I admitted. It was easier to say this while not looking at him. “She knew I needed to get away.”

“Where”—he was back to sounding glum again—“was she taking you?”

“Mexico.” When I felt him shudder, I sat back. “You don’t like Mexico?”

He was displaying his clenched teeth in a parted-lip grimace. I slid off his lap so I could sit next to him. “My concern isn’t so much with the country as it is with the lawless order and behavior in government,” he explained. “I fear being kidnapped in a foreign place and ending up in a Mexican prison. The amount of testosterone is not conducive with my polished manners and rugged good looks.”

I smiled at his formal cadence. Even in mid-embrace, Henry couldn’t help talking like a bourgeois. “It’s so tough being you.” I ran my fingers down his face. “Have you been there?”

He nodded stiffly.

“Bad experience?”

He thought for a moment then laughed. “The last time I was there, my father and I went hiking in a rainstorm and got lost. Cami called the local
Federales
to pull us out. Humiliating.”

“You’re close to your family,” I observed. This wasn’t a question, because I already knew the answer. When his smile broadened, I sighed, missing my brothers, my mother, even my father a little—which was strange. Maybe I missed the idea of family more than anything. Maybe it was time I did something about that.

“You’re not?” Henry asked, sensing my mood shift.

We were alone under the stars, wrapped around each other, and I was feeling things I never knew were possible for someone like me. We should be enjoying the reunion, making up for lost time, confessing our feelings, and
not
talking about my family.

But Henry was watching me with that expression I knew so well. He pulled me onto his lap again, making me feel safe and warm, part of something important.

“My parents,” I began, rubbing a hand over my forehead. “They never really meshed, even through six years of marriage. I haven’t spoken to my father in person for a long time. He had issues;
we
had issues.”

“How long?” Henry asked, taking my hand and pressing it to his chest.

“Years.”
Too long
, I almost added.

Henry nodded, then pulled me forward, hugging me, his hand moving up and down my hair, then burrowing in to hold the nape of my neck. Revealing this part of my personal history was new to me—I wasn’t used to opening up. But being with Henry, his arms like a blanket, his body my pillow, made me want to share.

“My mom,” I continued, my face still buried in his chest, “she never cooked for us, but she did manage to put together a sack lunch for me when I was a kid. Each of the sandwiches she made…” I trailed off, heavy emotions coming out of nowhere. “She always took a tiny bite out of the corner before wrapping it.” I smiled to myself. “That was her way of telling me she loved me, I guess.”

He didn’t say anything at first, then he dipped his chin to touch his nose to my cheek. “I hope you realize,” he whispered, his soft breath brushing my skin.

“Realize what?”

He gathered me to him, even tighter. “I hope you realize”—he kissed me lightly—“that’s one powerful love story.”

His words gave me that lighter-than-air sensation again, drowsy and dreamy and safe.

Loved.

“Thank you,” I whispered, holding his cheek.

“Will you tell me more?”

Chapter 34

I tucked my hair behind my ears and stared into the glass. Then I untucked it, laying it over my shoulders. I leaned in closer to the mirror then backed away. After a sigh, I turned from side to side.

Strange. Nothing
appeared
to have altered. Yet something had definitely changed, because I felt different inside. Happy, trusting, new.

Still, my unchanged reflection puzzled me, or maybe I was simply reacting to the way I was being seen through Henry’s eyes, someone who loved me. I bit my lip, remembering…

“Spring?” Mel’s voice startled me as she called through my bedroom door. “Coming down to breakfast?”

I was forced to pull myself away from the mirror and the memories as I answered in the affirmative.

She was grinning ear to ear when I opened the door. “I think I’m your good luck charm.”

I was endeavoring, quite unsuccessfully, to hide my huge smile.

“You’re utterly buzzing, babe.”

“I am not,” I claimed, knowing I most certainly was.

As we walked down the stairs, I could hear Henry’s voice coming from the kitchen. It made me want to slide down the banister and tumble into his arms, Lilah’s glares notwithstanding.

“Oh,” Mel said as she drew my cell phone from her pocket. “You left this here while you and Henry were, umm…” She was smiling again. “Someone called twice for you last night, but I didn’t pick up.”

I checked the missed calls. “Anabel.” I frowned. “Wonder what she wants.”

“Did she stay back at school in the house with Julia?” she asked. “Those two have nothing in common. She’s probably just bored.” Mel’s brown curls bounced as she trotted down the stairs ahead of me, leaving me to return the call.

I ducked into the dark library for privacy. Its walls were lined with shelves of leather-bound volumes. Half of one wall was adorned with an oil painting of a gray-haired man in a Navel officer’s uniform.

Must be one of the Knightlys,
I mused as I gazed at the noble figure, feeling an almost reverent affection.
So different from my family
. I dialed the number, remembering my father’s upcoming nuptials and feeling surprisingly happy for him.

Anabel answered after the first ring. “Spring?”

“Hey stranger,” I said. “Holding down the fort?”

“I know you’re on the road, but I didn’t know what else to do. But, I mean, I thought I should tell someone, right?” Drama queen Anabel rambled on for a minute but I wasn’t following. At one point, I actually held the phone away from my ear. “I didn’t think she was, like,
that
unhappy, did you? But why else would she say that?”

“Anabel.” I rolled my eyes. “Tell me again, slowly, what’s going on.”

When she spoke this time, her words were still muddled and confusing, but the picture they painted in my mind was all too clear. And suddenly, I was stone-cold sober.

“Are you sure?” I asked, feeling simultaneously sick and numb. “Julia actually…did…” I couldn’t finish, but swallowed hard and sank into an over-stuffed leather chair. When I’d heard enough, my mind snapped into gear, making the decision. “Okay, okay. Don’t do anything else for now. I’m coming home.” I was speed-dialing Julia’s cell a split-second later. Voicemail. Like I feared.

Just as I ended the call, the library door flew open.

“There you are.” Henry’s voice boomed brightly across the room. He looked like heaven, pure heaven. All I wanted to do was run to him, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t bear to tell him the truth.

“I’ve been looking all—” His smile dropped and he stopping in place. “Are you…?”

I squeezed my stinging eyes shut but heard him rush forward, felt him take my hands.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was almost panicky. When I opened my eyes, he was kneeling in front of me.

“I need to go home,” I managed to say. “Right now.”

Henry’s eyes were large like black Frisbees.

“I need to go home right now,” I repeated. When I attempted to stand, he held me down.

“No.” His voice was gruff and his grip tightened. “You’re not leaving me now. What happened?”

I tried again to stand, but every limb in my body was weak. The next second, his arms were around me, pulling me to the floor beside him.

“Tell me,” he said in a low voice. “Let me help if I can. Please.”

“I just talked to Anabel,” I said, breathing hard.

“Anabel,” Henry repeated, staring into my eyes. “Your roommate?”

I nodded, trying to hold it together. “She told me, she…she flipped out and took off. She’s been depressed, I knew that. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her. And now she’s gone.”

“Anabel?”

“Not Anabel.” I sniffed, dropping my eyes, not able to look at him as I continued. “Julia,” I whispered. “She ran away…with Alex.”

All was silent; neither of us so much as breathed. Henry’s face was gray and still. His inscrutable eyes drifted from mine to the empty space beside me.

“Julia,” he said. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, briefly recapping the phone call.

“They left together last night, so it’s been hours,” I said. “She’s unstable; she hasn’t been herself for months. I thought she was getting better, but she actually mentioned something about Alex a while ago. I…” I put a hand over my mouth. “I thought she was kidding.”

Henry’s grip on me slackened. He stood up, leaving me on the floor, alone.

“You know Alex, what he’s done to other…” I couldn’t complete the sentence. “I have no idea where they went, but I have to try and find her, or at least be home when she comes back.”

Henry was standing in front of a large window, staring out at nothing. The morning sun was streaming through a slit in the drapes, shining on him like a spotlight piercing the dark room. It should’ve been a beautiful sight, but there was nothing beautiful about his face when he turned around. He wouldn’t even look at me.

“You understand why I have to go,” I said.

He fingered his chin. “Today?”

“As soon as possible.” Gripping the chair behind me, I pulled myself to my feet.

“Driving?” he asked.

I nodded then attempted to call for Mel, but the tall room seemed to swallow my voice.

“It’s twelve hundred miles,” he pointed out.

I shot him a glance, and his expression showed that he wished he hadn’t said anything. I made my way to the door with no other thought than getting on my way, no time to spare.

“Wait,” Henry said from behind. “You don’t need to drive. We have a plane.”

“No, I couldn’t—”

A phone was already at his ear.

Nothing specific was given as a reason for our hasty removal and there was no time for
bon adieus
. Only Cami and Henry were with us as we rode in silence to the airfield behind their house. Henry handled our bags from his car to the private plane, all while still instructing and directing unintelligibly on a tiny black flip phone over the deafening jet engines.

Just as I was about to start up the metal stairs, Henry caught my wrist. “Yes, right, but just hold on a sec.” He was looking directly at me but I could tell he was talking on his phone, then he held it away from his ear. “Spring,” he said in a rush, “I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” He held my gaze for just a moment before he let go of my wrist and went back to his phone call. I didn’t even have time to reply before Mel was pushing me up the stairs to board the plane.

“What’s our plan?” she asked as we taxied down the runway.

Still a bit shaken and still feeling where Henry had been holding my wrist, I shut my eyes, my mind whirling too fast. “I don’t have one,” I admitted.

“Remind me,” Mel added. “What exactly did Henry’s letter say about where Alex took Cami. Maybe there’s something that can help.”

I opened my eyes to peer out the window. I could see Henry leaning against the Jeep, arms folded, talking to Cami as he stared toward the plane. Whatever he’d just told her sent both hands flying over her gaping mouth. Then she reached out and grabbed her brother’s arm, shaking him.

Chapter 35

Melanie and I didn’t speak much during our flight home. Henry arranged for a rental car to be waiting for us at the airport in San Francisco to keep for as long as required. I was grateful for this, because I wasn’t in the presence of mind to consider that detail. He also assured that my car would be returned to me as soon as possible.

“I’m going to your house,” Mel said as I was about to make the turn onto her street.

“You don’t have to,” I said wearily. “There’s nothing you can do.”

“I can sit there with you until she comes back,” she insisted. “So shut up.”

“Thanks,” I said, and hung a U-turn toward home.

Anabel was perched on a barstool in the kitchen when we walked in. She looked worried and tired, like I felt. My first impulse was to grab her by the shoulders and scold, knowing that—with her recent track record—this must somehow be her fault. But now wasn’t the time for blame.

“Tell us what we don’t know,” I requested as I sat beside her, Mel on her other side.

“I saw them leave together,” she answered, diving right in. “Alex was over here and—”

“Why was Alex in this house?” I interrupted.

Anabel stared down at her nails. “We’ve kind of been hanging out this summer.”

I glared at my roommate. “I told you to stay away from him.”

“I know.” She toyed with the ends of her hair. “But campus is a total ghost town and he’s cute—”

“Whatever. Why did Julia take off with him if he’s been hanging out with you?”

“Like I said, he was over here. It was weird. Julia was flirting with him, like, hardcore. When I left the room for a minute and came back, they were talking, he was
touching
her, telling her about some secret cabin at the beach.”

My blood turned ice-cold and I glanced at Mel. Her face was white.

“I’m pretty sure he’d been drinking a little.” Anabel bit her lip. “Well, maybe more than a little. And I know she’d been drinking a lot.”

“And?”

“Around midnight, he made a phone call. As soon as he left the room, Julia started bawling. She was hysterical, going on and on about needing to, ya know, get some. Have you ever heard her talk like that?”

I shook my head, but then felt chilled again, remembering word for word the conversation we’d had about how, even though she and Dart had slept together, he still left her, and how resentful she’d felt about that…how it hadn’t been special after all.

“She wasn’t making sense,” Anabel continued. “So I told her to—”

“What did you tell her to do this time, Anabel?” Hot dread filled my veins.

“Nothing!” Her eyes grew wide. “I mean, I told her to chill out. She was drunk. I’m not an idiot. Next thing I knew, she wiped her face and got this look in her eyes, staring at Alex when he finished his call. She walked right up to him and said she wanted to see the cabin.”

“You didn’t stop her?” Mel asked.

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Kick Alex in his family jewels, for one,” I suggested.

“I couldn’t! She grabbed her purse and they took off before I could do anything. They just left me and…it was just really weird.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling another cold shiver down my spine.

“Well, why did he take her and not me?”

“Anabel!” I snapped.

“Sorry.” She blinked and dropped her chin, like she was attempting to appear guilty. But I knew better. She was in shock that someone managed to steal a guy from under her nose.

“Were you waiting up all night?” I asked. She nodded solemnly. “You can go to bed. Thanks for calling me last night. I know it must’ve sucked.”

“Yeah,” she said, then added right before leaving the room, “and I really am sorry.”

I said nothing in reply, I just walked with Mel to the living room. “It’s barely been twelve hours,” I said, slumping onto the couch. “What should we do?”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Mel said. “We can’t even call the cops yet. She’s not missing and in no imminent danger.”

“Imminent,” I muttered, coldly.

“Try her cell again.”

I did, but I’d been getting nothing but voicemail all day. I left another message, begging her to call.

“We don’t know for sure they went to that beach cabin,” Mel said, sitting beside me. “The same one he took Cami to.”

“That’s what he
does
, Mel,” I countered, running a fist across my forehead. “You read Henry’s letter.”

“Yeah,” she replied, somberly. “I’m just hoping we’re wrong.”

We weren’t wrong, and I knew it. “He got rough with Cami,” I said after a minute. “And she was fifteen. She wasn’t the only one; he’s been doing this for years, always keeping his exploits on this side of a felony. What does he do if they try to fight back?” I shut my eyes in a long blink. “He’s disgusting and deserves to be castrated!”

“Do you know where he takes them?”

“Not the exact location. All Henry alluded to was somewhere down by Monterey, but that’s a big place.”

Mel and I sat for hours, sharing our worries, while going over possible scenarios and hoping Julia’s ex–Navy Seal father didn’t call the house. I tried Alex over and over too, but he never answered his phone. Shadows crept across the floor of our living room, slowly morphing the scene from afternoon to evening. Tomorrow, we decided, we would call the police.

Eventually, Melanie’s head sank to my shoulder and we both fell asleep.

My dreams were sporadic, because I slept without rest. The only one I remembered was right before I awoke. The picture in my head was mostly fuzzy, but there were definite fireworks, and a cowboy hat, and a face. The face was the only part of the dream that was crystal clear. When I lifted my arms out to him, there was a sudden stabbing pain in my side, but that didn’t keep me from reaching out, even though I felt the knife stabbing me again and again. Over and over.

“Spring, wake up.”

I peeled my eyelids apart, feeling Mel’s sharp fingernail poking my ribs. Through the dim early morning shadows, she was staring at me.

“Julia,” she whispered then pointed at the front door.

I threw my legs off the couch and sat up.

She was standing by the door under the only illuminated light in the room. She wasn’t looking at us, but at whoever was lingering under the threshold, unseen behind the open door. She whispered something then an arm reached out, the front half of Dart’s body coming into view. Silently, he touched her cheek in the gentlest of ways. She tilted her face so he could cup her cheek, whispered something to him, then he left.

After she closed the door, she stared at it, touching the wood with her fingertips. I knew she knew we were there, but she didn’t acknowledge us.

“Are you okay?” I asked, easing to stand. My body ached from having napped in a vertical position.

A few moments passed before Julia turned our way. She appeared unharmed, but she didn’t
look
fine.

I walked to her, trying not to wince when I noticed the marks on her upper arms. Rage and sorrow spun like a tornado in my stomach. Julia must’ve caught my examination because when I met her eyes, they were brimming with tears, and her lips trembled.

“Jules?” I opened my arms just as she broke into loud sobs. “Shhh.” I rubbed her back as she cried on my shoulder. “It’s over. You’re home.”

She couldn’t talk for a while. I didn’t blame her; it wasn’t a story I was eager to hear. As I waited, I silently surmised that the reason Dart had been with her was because Henry must have told him why Mel and I had suddenly left his house that morning. Then Dart must have taken over and tracked them down.

Whether Dart got there in time, I didn’t know yet. But considering how long Julia and Alex had been alone, as well as the angry red marks ringing her wrists, it did not look good. When the deeper sobbing started, I had my answer, and felt sick.

Julia wept while I held her and listened. “I’m so sorry,” was all I was able to offer. Because I was sorry. It was me who had brought Alex into our lives and I couldn’t help feeling tremendous guilt about that.

We went through three pots of tea but didn’t move from the couch, me on one side of Julia, Mel on the other. After a while, Julia seemed to want to tell us everything, maybe needing to get it out at least once. Terribly unhappy, more than buzzed on peppermint schnapps, she’d left with Alex. She admitted that everything got pretty fuzzy after that, but they did arrive at a cabin a couple of hours later. She’d been drunk but consensual. I said a silent prayer of thanks that nothing more than rough sex had taken place. Knowing Alex’s tendencies, it could have been worse. She did remember that a condom was used, which seemed pretty miraculous. But that was probably just Alex wanting to cover his tracks in case Julia pressed charges. Still, nothing is 100 percent foolproof. Julia would have to be tested. Mel and I promised to be with her when she took the first one.

Julia remembered still being slick with Alex’s sweat when Dart had shown up. He’d rushed straight to her, wrapped her in the bed sheets and carried her to the car. Julia sobbed as she recalled how he’d placed her in the backseat, laid his head on her lap and begged for forgiveness. Mel and I were sobbing, too.

“Dart’s a real hero,” I said, rubbing Julia’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” she said, trying to smile through her wobbly bottom lip.

“How did he know where to find you?” Mel asked, passing Julia a fresh cup of chamomile tea. “And so fast?”

“Henry,” she whispered, her hand trembling as she took the cup.

“Henry, what?” I asked.

She didn’t answer.

“He probably told Dart where the cabin was,” Mel explained logically. “He knew the location because of Cami, right?”

Julia stared down at her cup then took a slow sip.

“Is that what happened?” I asked. “Is that how Dart found you?”

“That’s what I thought at first,” she confirmed. “All I saw was Dart at the cabin. He’s the one who broke through the door and got me out. When he took me to the car, we sat there for a while in the backseat. Maybe twenty minutes later, I realized the car was moving.”

“Who was driving?”

Julia finally looked at me. “Henry.”

“Henry,” I repeated, my mind fuzzy. “He was there, too?”

Julia bit her lip and nodded. “I honestly didn’t realize it was him at first. I was still a little out of it. Dart never left me for a second, and I guess I hadn’t noticed that Henry went inside the cabin after Dart got me out. Alex was still in there. When we stopped for gas an hour later, my purse and clothes were in the front seat. I noticed it then, Spring.”

“Noticed what?”

“Henry’s knuckles,” she whispered. “They were red and—” She broke off. “I have brothers, I know what it looks like after someone has a fight.”

My stomach hit the floor. “They fought?”

Julia shrugged helplessly. “I think so.”

“Is Henry hurt? Do you know what happened?”

Mel reached over the back of the couch behind Julia and touched my shoulder. “I’m sure Henry beat the living hell out of him, babe.”

“Besides his knuckles,” Julia said, “he looked fine. Not a mark on him, I swear, Spring. After he dropped us off, he was heading straight to the airport.”

“What?” I blinked, rising to my feet. “Henry dropped you off here?” I spun around to the front door, thinking that he might materialize from thin air. “Why didn’t he come in?”

When Julia didn’t answer, Mel said, “He probably thought you were asleep.”

“So? He could’ve woke me up.”

“I don’t think he wanted you to know he was with us,” Julia whispered, her voice watery with new tears.

“Why?” I stared at her, then at Mel, then at the wall behind them. No one had an answer.

“Maybe he had to get right back to the ranch,” Mel offered. “I mean, Cami was still there and, ya know…the horses?”

“What?” I gaped at her.

Mel spread her hands. “I don’t know. I’m just
talking
.”

I couldn’t help exhaling a laugh at Mel’s attempted explanation. “Well, thanks for comparing my needs to that of a horse.”

Mel batted her eyelashes. “It was too easy, babe.”

“Springer, I’m sorry,” Julia said, touching my arm.

“Yeah,” I replied, feeling sullen again. Honestly, I didn’t know what she was apologizing for. For running off and making us worry? For cutting my road trip short? Or was she proxy-apologizing for Henry not coming in to see me? I met her eyes, she looked exhausted and had probably been awake for longer than back-to-back study sessions. And of course, she’d just been through an unspeakable ordeal. “You should go on to bed,” I said.

Julia nodded, gave me a hug that I barely felt, then disappeared up the stairs.

“You can leave, too,” I said to Mel, pressing my fingertips over my eyelids.

“Yeah, not a chance. I’m making blueberry pancakes then we’re getting pedicures. My treat.”

“No, thanks,” I said, trying to smile, but the fatigue of the past day’s events was weighing down my entire body. “Maybe tomorrow. I think I’ll just crash.”

“You sure?”

I nodded. For a few minutes, Mel argued against leaving, but I was resolute, and finally, I was alone.

Too weary to climb two flights, I curled myself into a ball on the couch, trying very hard to fight back the thing creeping its way into my thoughts. Even if he’d assumed I was asleep, why would that stop him from coming in? From seeing me? I scowled at my phone, which was just sitting there, all void of new messages or calls. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my legs, thinking of him, missing him.

That glorious Fourth of July, as Henry and I curled around each other, no official words were declared, no tender confessions divulged. I’d chosen instead to let my actions speak. I thought he felt,
knew
what I didn’t know how to say.

But he hadn’t come inside my house. Why?

He’d done this wonderful, magnanimous service to my little college family, and then disappeared. Not calling attention to himself, simply providing a service that only he could.

Spring, I don’t know when I’ll see you again.
Those had been his last words to me. But what did they mean?