Degrees of Passion (29 page)

‘I was hungover, Mom,’ Sasha answered, drawing a thicker slash of eyeliner across her lid.

‘Are you hungry?’ Beatrice ignored the surly comment. ‘Zoe made sandwiches.’

‘She already brought me one when she demanded I get out of bed and face the day.’ Sasha made the second eye match the first.

‘As you should.’ Beatrice nodded. ‘Kevin was here early this morning looking for you. We had a nice long talk.’

Sasha dropped the eyeliner and tried not to sound too overeager. ‘You did? What did you talk about?’

‘This and that.’

Sasha took a deep breath in exasperation. ‘What and what?’

‘His plans for the future. He’s very intelligent. I’m sure he’ll go far.’ Beatrice shrugged. ‘Why, what did you think we talked about?’

Sasha bit her tongue to keep from shouting, me.

‘He stopped by your room, but said you were still sleeping,’ her mom admitted. When Sasha didn’t answer, she added, ‘So are you going to go after him or what?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Sasha lied.

‘Oh, please,’ Beatrice practically snorted. ‘We all heard you last night, breaking up with him. That poor man must really care for you if he came by this morning to convince you to take him back. Either that, or he likes being in the middle of a one-sided screaming match.’

‘I wasn’t screaming,’ Sasha denied.

Her mom laughed. ‘The neighbors might debate that.’

‘Omigod, I was screaming?’ Sasha hung her head, groaning. ‘I’m never drinking again.’

‘Moderation would help.’ Beatrice touched her arm. ‘And maybe screaming is too harsh of a word. We’ll change that to you had a loud conversation that some of the neighbors who were outside happened to overhear.’

Sasha arched a brow. Grabbing her eyeliner, she stuffed it into her makeup bag. ‘Did you just come in here to torture me?’

‘Perhaps.’ Her mom chuckled.

‘That’s very motherly of you.’ Sasha zipped the bag and made a move to walk out of the room. Beatrice stopped her. ‘What?’

‘Don’t be an idiot.’

‘Those are the great words of wisdom you have for me? Don’t be an idiot?’ Sasha frowned.

‘You’re a smart idiot. You’ll figure it out.’ Beatrice patted her arm. ‘Kevin’s waiting for you outside.’

‘What? He’s here? Why didn’t you say that first?’ Sasha dropped her bag on the counter and turned back to the mirror. In all her anxiety, she didn’t really see her reflection.

‘You look very pretty,’ Beatrice assured her. ‘And if you get out there and be the smart girl I know you can be, everything will be fine.’

‘Mom.’ Sasha looked at her mother. The woman’s eyes were calm and proud and understanding. When Beatrice smiled softly, Sasha felt like she had when she was a child and had just messed up royally. ‘I’m an idiot. He’s perfect and I’m an idiot.’

‘He’s waiting outside for you and you’ll find your way.’ Beatrice pulled her into a gentle hug. ‘I think you’re finally ready to make a decision and stick with it.’

Kevin had thought about what he was going to say to Sasha all day. He thought about it when his brother took him out for a morning ride to clear their heads. He thought about it while eating breakfast with his grandparents and mother. He might have had other thoughts during his shower, with the water cascading down his chest like tiny massaging fingers. But he especially thought about it as he stood over her sleeping form, holding the blank piece of paper thinking of what to write.

With the way she’d been weaving the night before, he hadn’t expected her to be awake. The dim light of midmorning had caressed the soft lines of her face, shadowing her lips to the point he couldn’t help but brush a quick kiss across them. Every part of him wanted to crawl into bed next to her, hold her close and never let go. As he reached to touch her, she’d moved, moaning as if she would wake up. He forced himself from the room, not wanting to talk to her like that.

When he left the bedroom, her mother had been there, drinking a cup of tea, studying it like it held all the absolute answers in the universe. He felt the need to make small talk to assure her in a roundabout way that he hadn’t sneaked in and stayed the night. Beatrice merely laughed at his gentlemanly efforts, turning the conversation instead to the beautiful landscape that surrounded them. He wasn’t sure how she did it, but she managed to turn the conversation in circles, never really saying anything directly but implying enough to where he got her meaning. She believed if he just leaped into the unknown, said what he really felt, let his guard down, then all would play itself out the way it was destined to.

So, now he stood, having changed into a new charcoal-colored cashmere argyle sweater, trying to find the tactful way of saying what he really felt. Even though he took lungfuls of fresh, crisp air, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. The trees and mountains faded until all he saw was the cabin’s front door. Hope filled him, mingling with fear and each beat of his heart felt like it teetered on the edge of heartbreak. One wrong word or even a strange look from Sasha would force the organ to split in two.

Anticipation built inside him and the second the door opened to reveal the object of his desire he couldn’t keep his body from propelling forwards. The second Sasha’s lovely dark-blue eyes met his, he blurted, ‘Marry me.’

The door slipped from her fingers, slamming shut. She took the steps slowly, her gaze focused on him. Stopping several feet away from him, she tilted her head to the side, and whispered, ‘What did you say?’

‘Marry me,’ he repeated, without hesitation. ‘I mean, I love you. I hated going to bed last night thinking I’d never hold you again. And this morning, when I woke up, my chest hurt. I don’t want to feel that way again. I love you and it’s quite possible you don’t feel the same way, but I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to go to bed alone. And I know I sound like a fool right now. I’m probably being overzealous and scaring you. But I thought about it a lot. I looked at it from every angle and I can’t guarantee we’ll always be happy. What I can promise is that I love you. I’ll always love you.’

‘Kevin,’ she breathed, not moving. The look in her eyes tore into him. He did not read a yes in that look.

‘Please, just consider . . .’ His voice cracked and he stopped talking.

‘Kevin, no, I can’t just . . .’ She shook her head in denial. ‘Your mother—’

‘Don’t make this about anyone but us.’ He couldn’t ever remember feeling like he wanted to cry. ‘If you don’t love me, just say it. Don’t blame someone else for what you feel.’

She opened her mouth and hesitated.

Kevin didn’t know if his soul could survive her rejection. ‘I understand. I won’t bother you again.’

Sasha tried to say what she was feeling, but she was lost when it came to these things. His hand reached for the truck handle and she closed her eyes. Taking a metaphorical leap, she said, ‘Stop.’ She heard the door open, the telltale creak of metal hinges. Louder, she said, ‘Stop.’

‘What?’ His voice sounded distant, as if he couldn’t look at her.

Sasha opened her eyes. ‘Marry me.’

He slammed the door shut. ‘Are you mocking me?’

‘No.’ She shook her head, moving around the front of the truck to face him once more.

‘Are you –’ he hesitated, ‘– asking me?’

‘I don’t know that I can make you happy,’ Sasha said. He’d been so honest with her and she owed him the same courtesy. ‘I worry about how smart you are and that you’ll grow bored with me. I’m unable to make decisions and overthink things to the point nothing makes sense. I talk myself out of things and into them. Sometimes I’ll believe that fate is telling me something that it’s not. I even sometimes listen to my mother, even though she gets her reasoning from a boiled tealeaf.’

‘What are you saying?’ His confusion was clear in his gaze. He searched her face.

‘I’m proposing,’ she answered, shaking. ‘I thought that was obvious.’

‘But I asked and you said no. I don’t understand.’

‘That’s what I’m trying to explain. How could I say yes without being completely honest with you and what you were getting yourself in for?’ She reached for him, holding her hand in mid-air, hoping he’d take it in his and pull her close. ‘If I’ve scared you off, I want you to know that this, that you, that us, is the biggest decision I’ve ever made and I believe it to be the best. I love you, Kevin. I want to travel the world with you. I’ll follow you any where – into Belize, the jungle, deserts. I don’t care where we go. If I could remember going to bed last night, I’m sure it would have been hell for me, too. I don’t like the idea of going to bed without you or waking up and not seeing you next to me.’

‘Yes.’ He nodded.

‘Yes?’ she repeated.

‘To everything, yes.’ Kevin swept forwards, lifting her off the ground as he kissed her. ‘I love you, Sasha.’

‘And I love you.’ Happiness flooded over her, as she drowned in the pleasure of his embrace. Every wish she’d ever had came true in this most perfect moment.

Trevor Roosevelt Kingston the Fifth rebelled against his parents and quit the family business. After one month in a London flat with a woman poor enough to be the family maid, he sobered up and went crawling back to his fortune. He is now engaged to Cynthia Rockman, but spends most of his nights with his London mistress. Sasha runs into him on rare occasions, the most significant of which was when she dropped off a box of his stuff at his parents’ house – including the webcam. Trevor and Cynthia were there having dinner with his parents. None of them was in formal wear. It was then she realized Mr and Mrs Kingston had put on airs to make her feel like an outsider.

Sasha and Kevin finished their documentary on Project Aztec. Carrie turned the film into her professor, who gave it to a producer for the Historical Network, who in turn offered Sasha and Kevin a job hosting their own show. After Sasha’s graduation, the loving couple began to travel the world exploring remote locations. Carrie works as their main camerawoman and is still madly in love with the show’s production assistant, Jo.

Taffy Merchant finally came around, though she refuses to listen to anything Beatrice’s tea leaves have to say. The couple was married at the Sawmill Pine Inn, in front of the springtime mountainside. Both of their families were there to support them, even Ella made it home for the event.

Ella Matthews finished her tour of duty and now travels around Europe. She falls in love often, but never for very long. Beatrice doesn’t try to matchmake the youngest Matthews sister, often saying not everyone needs to be married to be happy. Samuel Merchant couldn’t agree more.

Sasha thinks they’re both nuts. Her happiness is very much tied to her marriage to Kevin. Though it is in debate between the two of them as to who exactly proposed to whom. Every day is a new adventure and, though they have their arguments, they never wake up alone.