Deidre's Death (#2, Rhyn Eternal) (21 page)

He wondered if she’d be able to swing
helping him. If she turned him over to Darkyn, he deserved it. But
he hoped that wasn’t the case.

Gabriel stepped out of the portals to find
himself beside the lake near Rhyn’s fortress. It was almost morning
on this side of the world. He wiped his face, still able to smell
the scent of his mate on his skin. It stirred his blood. Seeing
human-Deidre left him pensive, not entirely certain what to do
about his own mate.

His eyes settled on the lake. She’d figured
out how the souls were crossing over. Their attempt to dig a hole
to the underworld failed, but at least they’d stemmed the flow of
souls. He was proud of her for this and for telling him what she
did.

What he couldn’t quite rationalize: what he
would’ve done if she hadn’t gotten lucky and Darkyn didn’t want his
mate. The goddess fucked over Deidre without any sort of remorse.
Now human, she understood what she had done. It helped but wasn’t
enough for him to be able to forgive her just yet.

His thoughts returned to the deal the two
Deidres made. Neither had told him what exactly it was. All he knew
was that it would be over soon. He didn’t believe Darkyn’s mate
when she said it didn’t matter. Or that she bore them no ill will.
It sounded as if she’d already won, which meant his mate had
lost.

What was on the line?

Gabriel glanced towards the fortress. He
hadn’t been able to face his mate since her confession. He wasn’t
certain that he was able to now. She hadn’t sought him out, which
made him think she was too afraid to talk to him.

He’d promised to spend every night with her.
Unable to determine what he felt, he did want to at least see
her.

He walked back to the fortress, hoping the
cold night air cleared his mind.

When he reached her bedroom, he hesitated
then entered. The French doors were open, rendering the room cold.
His eyes fell to a toaster on the dresser with two socks resting
beside it, as if waiting for their turn to warm her feet in the
morning.

His mate was curled into a tight ball in the
middle of her bed, on top of the covers. Her sleep was fitful, and
he walked to the bed, standing beside it in the dark.

How the fuck did he just go with what she’d
done? He still didn’t know. The human was okay, and his mate was at
his side, where she’d always belonged. He sat on the bed, reaching
over to rest a hand on her head. He used his power to soothe her
sleep.

Being near her calmed him, despite his
ambivalence.

She’d told him the truth, because she wanted
them to have a relationship built on trust and love. Because not
telling him was hurting her.

This wasn’t the same goddess who fucked them
all over. She’d been incapable of empathy or remorse. Darkyn
stripped her power, turning her human. The woman in the bed behind
him wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

The woman in the bed behind him had taken
three days to warn him about the human left in Hell. What if Darkyn
slaughtered the innocent life dragged into this mess for no other
purpose than to make the goddess’ transition easier.

Disposable.
The human thought herself unwanted, except by
Darkyn, who had done more to help her than Gabriel thought
possible. She was able to justify it as destiny. He wasn’t as
forgiving of himself or his mate.

There was never a day when you didn’t love
each other.

Gabriel considered the human’s sad wisdom.
This was what troubled him most: that despite everything his mate
had done, he never stopped loving her. He hadn’t been able to
during their time together when she was a goddess and he her
servant. He couldn’t now that their roles were reversed.

He had never doubted himself before. He
couldn’t afford to now but there was a part of him that hurt.

Deidre stirred from behind him. She took the
hand he rested on her forehead into both of hers. Gabriel didn’t
know what to say.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel,” she whispered
again.

“So am I.” He squeezed her hands.

“Do you hate me now?”

“No,” he said quietly. “I’m angry.”

“At me.”

“Yes and at myself.”

“You did nothing wrong, Gabriel. I did. I
thought I was doing right.”

“I know,” he replied. “Deidre, is there
anything else?”

She was quiet for a moment. Her hands left
his. He heard her stir and shift. Gabriel shifted to see her. Her
hair was mussed.

“Yes,” the word was barely audible. “We made
a deal.”

“Who?” he asked, unwilling to tell her that
he already knew the answer to this question.

“Deidre and I did. In Hell. She challenged
me to win you over in a week like she did.”

“What was at stake?” He felt cold. By the
tremor in her voice, she knew she’d lost this one as well as he
did.

“Oh, only my soul,” she replied with a
half-laugh. “We were both a little emotional at the time. I didn’t
realize … anything.”

Gabriel rose and paced. It was worse than he
thought. The firm assertion of Darkyn’s mate that she bore no one
ill-will made more sense when he understood why she said it. She
may not, but Darkyn … what would he do to get the soul of
past-Death? The Dark One had let it go once as part of a deal. He
wasn’t going to let her go again.

“At least I can’t kill you,” he mused.
“We’ll keep you safe until we can return home. He can’t go
there.”

“Does it really matter? You can’t ever love
me.”

He wanted to agree out of anger but
couldn’t. The truth was he never fully stopped, because he
couldn’t.

“I’ll always take care of you,” he replied.
It was better for both Deidres if he worked to ensure his mate
never died-dead. “We need some time to … deal with all of
this.”

There might one day be a way to win her soul
back. If he kept her alive and well and his eye on any potential
opportunity to rake the Dark One over the coals, he’d do it.

Never mind that they bartered over his love
like some sort of prize to be won at a fair. Never mind both women
had not only betrayed his trust to make deals with Darkyn, but
would soon both have their souls owned by the Dark One.

Near the boiling point, Gabriel drew a deep
breath.

“I’ll be hunting demons today,” he said,
needing a release for his fury. “Stay at the fortress.”

Deidre said nothing. He left, barely able to
see straight let alone think straight.

When he was done killing demons, he’d
interrogate the death dealer he had sitting in a cell at the bottom
of the fortress. He wanted the dealer scared but not dead, and
right now, he didn’t think he’d be able to handle a traitor without
ripping off his head.

The portals were unlocked. Deidre tested
them three times but was afraid of pissing off Gabriel by
disobeying him so early in the day. Of course, it didn’t matter,
since he was already angry. Tell him the truth hurt more than she
thought.

With nothing else to lose, all she could
think about was what happened to the human she left in Hell. The
news of their deal had infuriated Gabriel once more and driven him
off, leading Deidre to believe that he had loved the human more
than her. It was a brutal realization, one that left her devastated
but also guiltier than ever.

She couldn’t start to make things right with
him, if she didn’t start there. Gabriel had seen human-Deidre but
said nothing about what shape she was in. Deidre needed to see
Darkyn’s mate herself, to face what horror she’d committed before
she was able to understand the consequences of her actions.

Deidre entered the shadow world and summoned
the human she’d left in Hell. After a moment, a form emerged from
the black portal.

Darkyn’s mate stopped as soon as she was
through.

Deidre’s heart flipped in her chest. She
almost cried out in relief. The human was alive and well. Still
wearing the garb of Hell, Darkyn’s mate was sporting fangs with her
pink hair and a heavy sultriness that made Deidre look twice.

“Hello,” Darkyn’s mate spoke first in a
hushed voice.

“Hello,” Deidre replied. “My gods, what
happened to you? Darkyn turned you into a sex-demon?”

“
I guess if you give a man
the ability to build his own mate, he’ll make her a tramp.” The
Dark One’s mate rolled her eyes.

Deidre stared at her then gave a startled
laugh. She didn’t expect to find the human alive, let alone of a
mindset to make a joke.

The moment turned awkward. Their first and
only exchange hadn’t been pleasant and resulted in a deal made
under duress. Deidre didn’t know what to say. Her perspective of
everything was too different now for her to recall what happened
with anything but regret.

Darkyn’s mate ducked her head and crossed
her arms.

“You called me?” she asked.

“I guess I wanted to see how you’re faring,”
Deidre managed.

“Weird, but good,” she replied. “You?”

“You’re doing good.” Deidre smiled. “I’m
really glad to hear it.”

“You mean surprised?”

“No. I mean, yes, I am surprised, but I’m
also glad,” Deidre said. “I, uh, know now what I did wasn’t the
best route to take. You must hate me.”

“I don’t.”

An awkward silence fell. Darkyn’s mate was
gazing at her. There was hurt in her eyes but not the anger Deidre
expected.

She’s not broken like we
are,
Wynn had told Deidre before she left
Hell. She began to see what he meant. The human bore her no
ill-will. Deidre didn’t understand how that was
possible.

“How can I help you?” Darkyn’s mate
asked.

“I’m pretty sure no one can,” Deidre
admitted, embarrassed when the last word came out choked. She
cleared her throat. “I’m failing miserably. Darkyn stripped my
power when I left Hell. I thought it’d be easy. I mean you humans …
I guess you make it look simple. You know I couldn’t figure out how
to turn on the shower? I won’t tell you how fascinating I find
kitchen appliances.”

Darkyn’s mate smiled.

“I’m just not getting some things,” Deidre
said. She paused, sighing. “Like emotions. I never knew there were
so many. I don’t know how to control them or to make decisions when
they’re always there just confusing me.”

“You’re starting from scratch,” Darkyn’s
mate said. “You have to go easier on yourself. Take time to learn
the new things and try not be so frustrated with yourself.”

Deidre stared at her. “How can you be so …
nice?”

Darkyn’s mate flushed.

“I mean, you’re in Hell maybe even being
torn to pieces every day and you’re being kind to me. I don’t
understand any of this.”

“I guess I pity you.”

Pity.
Deidre face grew warm. Wynn was wrong about her being broken.
No, she was lost like the souls sitting in the mortal
lakes.

“Why did you want to see me now?” Darkyn’s
mate asked. “You could’ve checked up on me at any point.”

It was a fair question. A brutal one but
fair nonetheless. Deidre thought hard about how to respond.

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “I guess I was
afraid to see what I’d done. I kept hoping things would just go
well. I told Gabe about what I did to you yesterday, and he walked
out on me.”

“That’s rough,” Darkyn’s mate murmured.

“I’m fucking up everything,” Deidre
continued. “He came back but he’s barely speaking to me. Like he’s
there but I’m not.”

“I remember the cold shoulder. He’s good at
pushing people away.”

“I figured I had nothing to lose now. I
might as well see what all I’d fucked up,” Deidre finished. “I
wanted to check on you. If you were alive, I wanted to see if you
had any … advice about how to deal with Gabriel.”

Turmoil crossed the features of Darkyn’s
mate. She took a deep breath.

“Well, first, you didn’t fuck me over. I
thought you did at first and I’ll admit, I’m not completely certain
things might not break bad, but for now, I’m fine. Darkyn hasn’t
hurt me and won’t. Look.” She turned to show her back.

Deidre gasped, understanding now how Darkyn
planned on ensuring his mate didn’t go anywhere, even after she won
their deal.

“Oh my god!” she
exclaimed. “He
blood
-bound you! That crafty son of a bitch!”

“In case I win our deal.” Darkyn’s mate
flushed and cleared her throat. “Sorry. Seems kinda tacky to bring
it up.”

“No.” Deidre shook her head. “I knew he’d
figure out something. Never guessed that. He’s not someone who bows
to others, and a blood-bond is pretty serious, considering you were
already mates. I can’t imagine the impact of both on him when one
is more than enough.”

The puzzled curiosity on the features of
Darkyn’s mate made Deidre wonder if the girl fully understood what
had happened. The idea Darkyn voluntarily took a bond to a human
when he made a name for himself disobeying his former master …