Denial (21 page)

“Hi…Amy?” Josh said.

Placing a shaking hand over her eyes, Amy couldn’t believe it. Why did she answer the phone? Feeling dizzy, her pulse beat loudly in her ears.

“Amy?” Josh said sounding troubled at the silence.

Amy tried to control her breathing. She looked at Celeste bent over and turned her back. “Hi…Josh?” she meant to say, but the sound coming out was more of a strangled squeak.

“Amy, are you okay?” Josh asked quickly.

Swallowing hard, Amy replied, “Yes.” She cleared her throat. “Yes. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Josh said with a note of relief. “Honey, I’m calling to let you know that I’ll be working late tonight.”

Cradling the phone and trying to button her shirt, Amy mumbled distractedly, “Oh. Okay then.”

There was a moment of silence. Josh obviously expected her to ask why he would be working late. “Where are you, honey?” Not waiting for an answer, he quickly followed, “I tried you at home, but Maggie said that you were putting in an extra hour so I called your office, but Wendy said you’d gone already.”

Amy stiffened, shocked that Josh was phoning around looking for her. She stopped fumbling; her hands were too shaky and buttons were missing anyway.

Taking the phone off her shoulder, Amy held it with both hands. “I’m just on my way…I was…uhmm…I got caught up and…uhmm….” She couldn’t think. “Oh, Josh, you know what Mondays can be like…they can be so…unpredictable…I thought I had to work late, but then…I didn’t…uh…you know, have to work late,” she finished weakly. She cleared her throat and pressed the phone tightly to her ear. “I’m just on my way home right now.”

A voice in the background called to Josh, telling him that the meeting was about to start.

“Okay,” Josh called back. “Amy, honey, I’ve got to go,” he said hurriedly. “We’ve hit a problem, so I don’t know how long I’ll be but kiss the boys goodnight for me, okay? Love you.”

Amy exhaled. “Love you too.”

The line went dead.

Standing with her back to Celeste a wave of crippling guilt passed over Amy. Josh thought she was on her way home to their boys.

Spinning around to face Celeste, a flush of arousal gripped Amy at the sight of her naked.
Down girl!
She told herself when her flush deepened. She scrambled to pick up her things from the coffee table. “Gotta go.” She hurried toward the door.

“Amy,” Celeste called as she followed her. “Amy.”

The blood pumping so hard through her veins she was sure that her head was about to explode, Amy threw the front door open.

“Wait!”

Not turning around until she was over the threshold, Amy replied, “What?”

“Your buttons,” Celeste said, pointing to the misaligned buttons on Amy’s blouse.

Looking down, Amy pulled her suit jacket closed.

Celeste’s hands reached out.

“I can manage,” Amy said, pushing Celeste’s hands away. She eyed Celeste and tried not to look at her nakedness. “Don’t you feel ashamed?”

Celeste smiled painfully and whispered, “More than you’ll ever know, Amy.” She shook her head and repeated. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Not sure what to believe, Amy spun around and quickly made her way to the elevator. Too impatient to wait and desperately needing to escape, she took the stairs.

Chapter 27

Amy and Camille waved to the last of the parents and their children as they pulled out of the driveway. It had been a very long day and Amy felt nothing but relief that the boys’ birthday party was over.

Following the path around the side of the house with Camille, Amy half smiled, pleasantly surprised by the number of kids who showed up.

When Camille mentioned having the party at their house, Amy was reticent. Back home no one would dream of traveling for a few hours to get to a kid’s birthday party. An hour would be stretching it, but Camille had argued that long journeys were the norm here, and that the boys had as many friends in their grandparents’ neighborhood as their own. So, Amy organized it and the kids and parents came, thankfully.

Amy breathed in deeply and for the first time that day felt her tension wane a little. This morning, when she woke, she desperately wished she hadn’t arranged to spend the weekend at her in-laws, or agreed to have the birthday party there. Lying in bed, she had wished that it was just her and Josh celebrating the boys’ birthday on their own.

Drawing alongside the pool Amy smiled at Maggie, who was lying on a lounger. The redhead called out to her to join her. But needing to put some cream on Ryan’s increasingly red ears, Amy pointed to her son then picked up a bottle of sunscreen.

Ever since Amy’s outburst with Celeste last Sunday, Maggie had pestered her, asking her what was wrong. Keen to avoid any personal chat, Amy had been vague, blaming her behavior on pressure at work, but she knew that it was obvious to her cousin that she was having problems.

Amy felt a pang of guilt that Maggie was confused, then felt instant relief that she had been savvy enough to ask Wendy not to mention Celeste turning up at the office. Unfortunately, and to her amusement, the request didn’t sway Wendy’s need to gossip, but a blatant bribe of dinner at an expensive restaurant of her choice had her capitulate immediately.

Picking up Ryan, Amy took him into the shade. He squirmed trying to get out of her hands, but she held him tight. Maggie approached as Amy applied sunscreen on his ears. Sitting down beside them she began telling Ryan that today he and his brother were sharing their birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.

“Why are you telling him that?”
 
Amy snapped. “This is his day. Who cares if nine million other people share it?” She stood. “Anyway, how do you expect him to understand that?”

Maggie looked at her cousin in surprise. “Well,” she replied, “you’d be surprised how clever kids are. Did you know—”

“For God’s sake, that’s enough!” Amy interrupted, her voice low.

Maggie’s brow furrowed deeply, but she said nothing.

Without another word Amy walked away from Maggie, took Ryan over to the side of the pool and put him into the arms of his father.

Josh asked her to join them but Amy made an excuse, telling him that she needed something from the kitchen.

Feeling annoyed, Amy marched into the kitchen, yanked open the fridge door and reached for a carton of juice. Closing it, she strode over to a cupboard, flung it open, reached for a glass and slammed it on the counter. Wanting to vent, she banged the carton down and looked around for something else that she could attack.

Amy stopped. Breathing in deeply, she filled the glass and held it to her head. She closed her eyes and let the coolness bring her temper down. She sighed in frustration. Since her visit to Celeste’s apartment on Monday she’d been an emotional wreck.

Opening her eyes, Amy watched Maggie through the window playing with the kids in the water. Immediately she felt guilty. She knew Maggie would be upset. She shouldn’t have barked at her like that, but this whole thing with Celeste was driving her crazy. She sipped her juice. Unbidden, her eyes trailed over to Celeste, who was sitting on her lounger talking to Sophie.

A few days ago, Amy received a package. Thankfully, it was clearly marked private and confidential and sealed. Otherwise, Wendy would have had her sticky little mitts on it. When Amy opened it, she found a key to Celeste’s apartment with a note attached to it; a quote from the poet William Blake:
‘Those who restrain desire do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.’
 

Amy’s blood had boiled. She immediately ripped it up and threw it in the trashcan along with the key.

Rubbing the glass down her cheek, Amy looked Celeste over. Immediately she felt a strong tug of desire. Ashamed, she turned her back on the window. Putting down her glass, she tightened her ponytail and thought about the trip here this morning.

†

When they arrived, Josh got out and let the boys and pups out of the Jeep. Amy fought the urge to get into the driver’s seat and drive like a bat out of hell to get out of there. Reluctantly she got out when Fraser and Camille rushed out of the house calling out their welcome.

To Amy’s surprise, Sophie approached and gave her a hug.

Hugging her back, Amy saw Celeste’s bare feet first. Her eyes slowly moved up to her cutoffs and widened when the slinky red bikini top came into view. Her heart raced and raw desire tugged at her.
Why
,
does she have to look so hot, dammit?

Amy pulled out of Sophie’s arms, terrified that her sister-in-law would feel her heart thudding.

Celeste smiled warmly. “Hi, Amy,” she said casually. She gave Josh a hug then picked up Christopher and tickled his stomach.

Christopher squealed with delight.

Amy’s eyes narrowed.

When Alex came out of the house, Amy smiled. Over the last few years, she had gotten to know him and really enjoyed his company.

Alex hugged her tightly.

Pleased, Amy hugged him back then caught her breath as it suddenly hit her that Alex knew. Withdrawing slowly from the hug, she looked at him apprehensively and tried to read him. She couldn’t. Instead, trusting her instinct, she whispered, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Alex smiled and taking her hand, squeezed it reassuringly.

Once they unpacked and were settled, Celeste asked if the boys wanted to go for a swim. They squealed and instinctively looked at Amy to make sure it was all right. She laughed at how excited they were. “Okay, let’s go and get you both changed.” She looked at Celeste and warily told her, “They’ll be two minutes.”

Amy took the boys to their room to change them.

Ryan wasn’t happy.

“Mom,” he protested. “No! Don’t want to!” He pulled at an inflatable armband that Amy was putting on.

“You know, Ryan,” Amy said patiently, “I don’t think your aunt Celeste will take you swimming without them.” She began to slide the armband off. “But if you don’t want to wear them, I can just tell her that you’ll go swimming another time.”

Ryan’s face fell. He quickly conceded, “Okay.”

Amy smiled, knowing that there would have been a battle of wills if she had insisted, but at the mere mention of his aunt Celeste, he gave in. She stopped smiling, suddenly reminded that Celeste’s influence wasn’t just with the boys.

†

“Are you okay, Amy?” Camille asked, interrupting Amy’s thoughts.

Amy looked at her mother-in-law in surprise. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Good,” Camille replied as she removed a bottle of chardonnay from the fridge.

Amy watched her take two glasses from the shelf.

“It is just that you seem a little on edge,” Camille said, pouring wine. “I noticed that you have not been able to settle at all today.”

“Oh…yes, I suppose I have been a little preoccupied.” Amy tried to think of an excuse. “It’s hectic at work and sometimes it’s hard to unwind if you’ve had a busy week. By tomorrow I’ll be fine.”

Camille held out a glass. “Here, have this. It will help you unwind, no?”

Smiling, Amy accepted the glass.

“If there is anything that you want to discuss, please talk to me,” Camille said softly. “I am concerned that you can’t unwind because of problems at work. Sometimes it helps to unburden oneself.”

“Oh, Camille,” Amy replied reassuringly. “It’s nothing, you know.” She sipped her wine. “I’m sorry if I’ve worried you. I didn’t intend to spoil your day.”

Camille reached out and touched Amy’s cheek. “No, my darling, you do the opposite. You bring happiness here always.” She smiled. “That is why I noticed that you are not your normal self. Just take care. There must always be a balance, hmmm?”

Amy nodded. “I’ll try.”

Amy went outside and started clearing up.

“
Chéri,
you have done enough,” Camille said, following her.

Amy, needing time to breathe, insisted she clear up.

Camille took hold of the twins’ hands. “Right boys, your mama needs some quiet time, so let us get you into the bath and to bed.”

“Oh no,
grand-mère
. No!” The boys cried out in unison.

“Let me give you a hand,” Alex said, picking up some glasses.

Amy smiled, happy to accept his offer.

Halfway through tidying up, the sound of a motorbike filtered through. Sean must have arrived. Amy decided to give Maggie and Sean a little time together before going out to welcome him.

Amy smiled when she heard Camille shout for her boys to come back. She laughed, not surprised that the little toe-rags had escaped the clutches of their
grand-mère
. Since discovering that Sean owned a motorbike store, the boys adored him.

Amy stopped laughing when Celeste entered the kitchen. Her heart started to pound.

Celeste opened the fridge door and took some beers out.

Trying to ignore her, Amy filled the dishwasher then set the cycle.

“Do you need a hand,” Celeste asked, closing the fridge door.

Taken aback by the suggestiveness in her voice, Amy looked at Celeste, then at Alex to see if he had noticed. She saw Alex give Celeste a withering look. Amy bowed her head. It was evident that he knew exactly what was going on.

Celeste repeated her question, but Amy didn’t respond. Instead, about to make her excuses and leave, she hesitated when Sophie entered the kitchen. Sighing with relief, she leaned on the worktop and asked Sophie how her book was coming along.

Sophie grimaced as she fished out a cigarette from her pack. “Everything is fine, but I’ve hit a problem with some of the characters. I’ve used all my favorite methods of killing in my previous books.” Placing the cigarette in her mouth, she patted her jacket pockets. “Normally, my characters die horrifically, one by one.”

Amy watched the cigarette bounce up and down as Sophie spoke.

“I need to decide whether or not to wipe out an entire family,” Sophie said, chewing the end of the cigarette.

Amy paled when Sophie explained some of the ways that her characters might die. Listening, she wondered if Sophie’s therapy sessions were actually doing her any good.

Celeste interrupted. “Do you need a hand, Amy?”

Amy shook her head and asked Sophie, “Have you met Maggie’s boyfriend yet?”

Amy froze when Celeste put both hands on her waist and, leaning forward, allowed the whole of her upper body to press into her. Her mouth touched her ear. “Do you mind moving so that I can get the bottle opener from the drawer?”

Stunned, Amy moved away quickly. “No, of course not.”

Embarrassed, and trying to hide her anger, Amy quickly muttered that she was going to greet Sean before hastily retreating from the kitchen.