Desert Gift (12 page)

Viv shrugged. “He didn’t answer the cell, so I tried the office. He mentioned something about flu going around and being understaffed.”

“Maybe he has the flu after all.”

“Jillie, don’t get your hopes up. Anyway, before Gretchen left this morning, she and I agreed he should be told that you were safe and sound out here, not there. She said if she talked to him again it would be the last time ever and it would not be pretty. So I offered.”

Jill nodded. It was best Gretchen had left for Phoenix to meet a client. She took away a large amount of agitated air with her. While Viv empathized, Gretchen discussed how she planned to slug Jack.

“Viv, how did he sound?”

She took her time chewing and swallowing. “Like a doctor in between patients. Preoccupied and professional, but he thanked me.”

They ate in silence for a few moments, Jill majoring on the bread. Her stomach was not ready for green pepper or sausage.

Viv said, “I told him that you didn’t have plans yet.”

“I can’t even think about going home. The thought of Jack not living there—” fresh tears collected—“I can’t face that.”

“He was angry that you didn’t do what he asked, to stay put. He hasn’t stopped loving you.”

“But he said—”

“Shh. On another subject, you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want.”

“Oh, Viv. Marty’s avoiding me. It’s Tuesday night and he’s not home.”

“Bowling league. No worries about him, okay? But you have all your friends in Chicago. Maybe you’d be more comfortable with them.”

“What would I say?”

“Not much. This is when you just cry together.”

Jill imagined those women closest to her. Besides Gretchen, there really was no one else. Of course she enjoyed downtime with coworkers and lunch with church ladies occasionally. Except for social outings with Jack, she spent her time either doing shows or preparing for them, not nurturing friendships. She shook her head.

“You think people are going to judge you.”

“Of course.”

“So? That will puncture your pride. Not a big deal.”

“But pride goes before a fall, and I am not ready for a fall yet, Viv. All I’ve been able to do is get myself through the day. E-mail has gone by the wayside. I need to figure things out, maybe salvage some dignity.”

Viv chewed, tilting her head one way and the other.

“You’re not buying that.”

She swallowed. “I understand. What about the show?”

“I’m covered for a while. We prerecorded several. They’re running old ones too.”

“What did you tell the station?”

“That Jack and I hit a bump in the road and the PR trip was put on hold.” A sinking sensation came over her. “They should cancel the show immediately. They shouldn’t be broadcasting all that stuff I’m not even sure comes anywhere near the truth. I don’t care if it is touted by
experts
.”

“Hey! Knock it off with the
should
s. There is truth in what you teach. The point is you don’t have to think about the show yet, right?”

“Okay, okay. Right,” Jill agreed begrudgingly. “Are you sure you don’t mind me staying for an indefinite time? I can’t imagine it will be long, but . . .”

Viv reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Yes, I am sure. It’s smaller than you’re used to but I hope you feel at home.”

“Thank you. It’s comfy.”

The one-story bungalow Viv and Marty had lived in for twenty-plus years was pleasant. It sat on a busy hill, close quarters with neighbors. Marty kept the small backyard with its patio and fruit trees well manicured. One could even catch a slim view of the airport runway and harbor three blocks away.

She missed her sprawling Chicago suburb and roomy house. She missed Jack. She missed the life that was—in the blink of an eye—no more.

Viv grinned. “The downside is we don’t cook much.”

“That makes three of us.” Jill looked around the compact kitchen with its old-fashioned tile countertops. Blinds covered the many windows and the sliding door behind Viv’s chair, masking the winter night’s cold and dark. “I don’t know what else to do. Where else to go.”

“Don’t worry, Jillie. We’ll get through this. Do you want me to call Mom and Pops? Do you want to see them? We could run over there tomorrow, spend a few hours, come back.”

Jill shuddered. “I can’t face Mom yet.”

Viv’s eyes beamed with understanding. Daisy Wagner was so far off the path of nurturer they couldn’t even tease about her.

“Okay. Do you have work to do, e-mails and stuff?”

“Yeah.” Corresponding with listeners had been a highlight of her week, but now the thought filled her with dread.

“I was thinking that if you have time tomorrow, maybe you’d like to see the office?”

Jill met her sister’s medium-brown eyes. As usual they twinkled, hinting at fun. The corners of her wide mouth were, also as usual, slightly turned up, hovering on the verge of a grin. Her medium-brown hair, long and layered, was a mass of natural waves seldom styled or even brushed. Freckles still sprinkled her nose.

Viv said, “It’ll be like the old days.”

Like the old days.
Those would be the days before Jill had met Jack Galloway. Given the fact that nothing was the same, those days might be a good place to visit.

She nodded.

* * *

Jill went to bed early that night. Viv thought it a good respite for her. To Jill it felt like sheer coping. If she shut out the world long enough, maybe everything would change.

The next morning Jill awoke without her chest afire. That was a change.

As the day wore on, though, it felt heavier and heavier, like a bag of solid concrete, as if the unspoken words had piled so densely they died of asphyxiation.

Maybe God was telling her just to shut up.

Which made no sense. Her gift was the gift of yap. Exhorting, encouraging, cajoling, explaining, teaching. Communicating.

She went with Viv to her office, a mute tagalong.

“Ta-da.” Viv spread her arms wide, grinned, and took a twirl in the middle of Vivvie’s Tours. “What do you think?”

Jill rubbed her chest. “A trip down memory lane is easier in theory than reality.”

Viv lowered her arms. “Come on, Jillie. Give it a try.”

Lord, please help.

Eons ago she and Viv were business partners in the agency. When they were barely nineteen and eighteen years old, their aging grandmother offered her business to them lock, stock, and barrel. Ellie’s Tours catered to senior citizens, taking them on simple day trips all over Southern California. The sisters skipped straight from high school into self-employment, had a blast, and made enough money to support themselves. Then Jill met Jack and . . . everything changed.

And now it was all changed again.

“Jill, forget memory lane. Start with the here and now. Tell me it’s nice.”

She heard the anxious note in Viv’s tone and focused on the scene before her. The place was nice. Extremely nice. A storefront in a strip mall, it had windows facing the parking lot and morning sun. There were overstuffed chairs, a love seat, wallpaper, and carpet, all in desert colors of tans, corals, and turquoise. Framed colorful posters depicted Southern California’s highlights: ocean, mountains, and desert. Scattered about on low tables and the single desk were plants, brochures, and maps.

“Viv, it’s wonderful.”

“Thanks.” She smiled. “Remember my other place?”

Jill cringed inwardly. No, she did not, not really. Her last visit to San Diego had been too brief to visit this office, new at that time. Before that—well, she wasn’t sure when she last saw Viv’s place. It had been sometime after she’d moved from the original hole-in-the-wall where they started.

Viv said, “This is a little larger and heaps better locationwise.” She set a bag of fresh croissants on a side table and flipped on a coffeepot. “Come see the boss’s office.”

They walked into a small room at the back, tastefully furnished too but messier than the front.

Jill smiled. “Obviously your space.”

“Bet your desk looks the same.”

“Well . . . yeah.”

“We are a couple of hurricanes, huh?”

“The trick is in knowing where the eye is.”

“And staying in it when necessary.” Viv gave a thumbs-up. “That was our motto. The problem was we never seemed to be in the eye at the same time.”

“We clashed so much. Grandma Ellie thought we were nuts to try to work together. She was so surprised when we made money. She would be proud of you now.”

Viv laughed. “I do look legitimate, don’t I?”

“Definitely.”

“And you haven’t even seen the new minibus yet.”

“I’m so proud of you too, Viv.”

Her sister stared at her for a moment, a somber expression on her face. “Thank you.”

“I should have told you sooner. Years ago.”

Viv shrugged.

But Jill knew she didn’t mean it.

She walked over and embraced Viv in a long, silent, overdue bear hug.

* * *

A short while later Dustin Kovich breezed into the office. Jill still remembered him as a toddler at Viv and Marty’s wedding. He’d grown into movie-star cute with dark eyes like Marty’s and none of the machismo.

“Aunt Viv, that was so cool.” He spotted Jill behind the front desk. “Hey. You’re Jill, the famous sister.” He stepped over and thrust out his hand. “Hi.”

Jill shook it. “You’re Dustin, all-grown-up famous right-hand guy.”

He glanced at Viv. “You said that?”

Viv smiled. “I talk nonstop about my right-hand guy. So what was so cool?”

“Breakfast at the Del. The ladies ate it up, and I don’t mean the eggs. The food was out of this world but it was the ambience. You know how our Casitas Pack love their upper-crust moments. The old hotel was perfect.”

“Pack?” Jill looked at Viv.

“That’s what they call themselves. They live in the Casitas senior complex and take at least one outing a week with us. Now they’ve started a breakfast club and asked if we’d provide transportation.” She chuckled. “With Dustin of course.”

When he blushed, Jill figured the elderly women doted on him.

He said, “Now can I drive the bus?”

“No way.”

“Come on, Aunt Viv. You promised.”

“I said when I can go with you. Today is not a good day.”

Jill said, “Why not, Viv? You two go. I’ll stay. I’m a little rusty with booking a tour, but I know how to answer a phone and take a message.”

Viv hesitated.

“I’m fine. Really.”

“If you need to, you know, like emotionally shut down or something, just lock the door and turn out the lights.”

Jill wanted to crawl under the desk. She didn’t care if Dustin was a relative of Viv’s, he was a stranger to her. Why should he be privy to her emotional state? Why should he think anything other than that she was there on vacation?

She held up a hand and plastered on a smile. “Go.”

A few moments later they were out the door and walking toward the beautiful white minibus Viv had shown her earlier. A wide, flared racing stripe in yellow flowed around lime green lettering:
Vivvie’s Tours
. In smaller fonts were the phone number and Web address. The whole thing was splashy, yet sophisticated—very Viv-like.

Her sister had
arrived
.

Jill felt a stab of envy.

She swiveled in the desk chair, turning her back to its source.

A couple weeks ago she never could have imagined such a reaction. She was the one who had arrived. She was the one with a public ministry growing by leaps and bounds. She was the one in a truly communicative marriage. She was the one with a faithful husband who never forgot a birthday or anniversary or Valentine’s Day or Christmas. She was the one whose son graduated at the top of his college class and was working on a master’s.

Now none of that mattered.

None of it mattered.

“Really, God? It doesn’t matter? It’s what? Suddenly null and void? Was it just a sham? What exactly do You want? I gave it my best shot and my husband left me. Is this the end—of my marriage and my career?” She exhaled a frustrated breath. “It can’t be. You made it clear this was my path. Okay, I get it. You put me on a side road so I can get a different focus. Like men in midlife. I line up experts to interview. Hint here and there that Jack and I are entering the danger zone. Meanwhile I tell him—no, I insist—that we see a counselor. Lew is my first choice, our initial step. He knows us.”

She nodded. Yes, it was a start. She had to believe Viv’s version, that Jack did not mean what he said.

“Excuse me?”

Jill jumped at the soft voice behind her and spun the chair around.

A short, plump woman stood a few steps inside the door, her eyes hidden behind dark wraparound sunglasses. “I am so sorry. You must not have heard the jingle.” She pointed a gold cane upward at the small bell attached to the door. Bracelets on her wrist sparkled and clinked.

“No, I didn’t.” Jill’s heart still pounded. At least the surprise visitor appeared harmless. She wore a hot pink velour jogging suit. Straight white hair hugged her head like a bowl, enhancing the chubbiness of her face.

She slid the glasses off. They dangled from a sporty elastic strand. “I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation.”

Jill gave her a blank look. “Conversation?”

“You sounded rather upset and you were waving your arms. But then I noticed that you didn’t have one of those blue teeth in your ear.” She pointed at one of her ears, its lobe hidden behind a cluster of pink rhinestones. “I suppose you’re like me. You process verbally. You think better if you hear your thoughts expressed out loud.”

Jill had no response.

“Oh, where are my manners!” She stepped to the desk and held out her hand. “You’re new here. I’m Agnes Smith. Vivvie knows me. I’m with the Casitas Pack.”

Jill stood and shook the woman’s hand, noticing the firm grip and many rings. “I’m Jill, Viv’s sister.”

Agnes grinned. “Yes! Yes, you are! You’re that famous lady. I saw your picture on the book cover. I must say, you’re even prettier in person. I am so happy to meet you.” She rummaged inside her large handbag. “I take it Vivvie is not here. No matter. I wrote down some new ideas for our breakfast club and wanted to give them. Here we go.” She handed Jill a slightly crinkled envelope. “If you’ll just give that to her, angel, I would appreciate it.”