Desire of the Soul (13 page)

I ran back where I’d just came from, still wanting to get out of the castle and breathe but ignoring the feeling.
 

When I arrived back where Aness had just moments ago been screaming into her phone, I noticed that Aness’s wings were back to their pure gold, no black marring the edges. That must mean she was no longer angry, and thank God cause her angry was a little scary.

“Aness, I have a question.” I blurted out before I could think about what I was doing. She nodded, and so I told her everything about the dream I’d just had from figuring out that the man was Dracul to the feelings she felt with him.
 

“Please, I need to know, do you know what he’s talking about? I have to listen to Time before it will listen to me. What does that mean?” I felt tears forming, and hated myself for being weak. Wasn’t being an Amatores supposed to make me stronger? Cause it seems the only thing it’s making me is weaker than a pile of hay.
 

“I don’t, I’m sorry Tammy. But, before you say anything, I think I know someone who will know something. Follow me.” Aness moved quickly, not even looking back to make sure I was actually following her.
 

We went through the same halls I’d gone through before, and down stairs I hadn’t noticed on my run to find a way outside. Deeper and deeper we went down, until my teeth were chattering hard enough to break from the coldness of the air.
 

To distract myself of the cold, I looked around at my surroundings. All I saw though was dirt. Dirt stairs and dirt walls. That’s all that made up the area that seemed to never stop going down. “Uh Aness are we almost there?” I asked between the chattering of my teeth. I rubbed my arms up and down my arms to try and get the goosebumps to leave, although it did nothing.
 

“Yes, in fact we are there right now!” she exclaimed, staring at a wall with pride. A dirt wall. With nothing on it.

“Aness...I’m sorry to break it to you, but there’s nothing here.” My voice was soft as if I was afraid of breaking her, but she just laughed.

“Oh Tammy, I’ve forgotten how young you are. Here let me help you, you have to look with your mind not your eyes. Close your eyes alright, and just let go of everything that holds you to this world. Let go of all your worry, your pain, your stress, let it all go.” I did what Aness said, her words soothing me and making the letting go easier. When I opened my eyes again a bronze door appeared on the wall, inscribed with foreign lettering. It glowed with the same light as Aness, and felt warm and comforting.
 

“Good job Tammy, now come with me,” she said, and opened the door. My heart stopped, and my whole body dropped to the ground. Damn, this would definitely hurt later on that much was for sure, I thought before feeling blackness take over my vision.

---

I was floating through blackness, my sense of time completely gone. It felt like hours, day, even years were passing by. Memories tangled within me, though they were nothing more than blurs of the past. I wondered where I was, and what happened that stuck me in this place. Was I dead? My thoughts floated lazily around me, and I giggled. If this was heaven, I liked it. It was so calm, so warm. The blackness wrapped around me, setting me into a cocoon of comfort.

I continued to float, worrying about nothing, wondering about nothing. That is, until his voice pushed through.
 
’Tammy, you have to wake up. If you do not you will be stuck in this limbo forever. It may be comfortable now, but it will not stay like this forever. Your memories and senses will soon come back, and you will see this area for what it truly is. You have to wake yourself up. Now!’
 
The voice sent a warm tingle throughout my body, and another giggle popped from my mouth.
 

‘
I don’t want to leave,’
 
I
  thought back, and smiled. I never wanted to leave.
 

‘
I know you do not, but you soon will. Listen to me Tammy, you have to wake yourself up. If you do not, you will never be able to get back.’
 
My smile quickly turned into a frown and I felt my annoyance build. Whoever this was, he was ruining the comfort, the warmth I’d just been feeling. His voice was still sending tingles up and down my body, but I was starting to feel things come alive around me.
 

Fear started to crawl up my spine, and nausea blossomed. Suddenly I felt the need to get out, I had to get out. The darkness didn’t look so peaceful anymore; in fact it was starting to take on a really scary quality. Shapes were starting to appear, shadows that danced at the edges of my vision. Each one had a different face, each one looked so lost, so terrified, so sad, it shook me to my core.
 

I felt myself sucking in their emotions more and more as I stared into their bottomless grey eyes. Sadness, terror, pain, all their feelings soaked up into me and creating a tornado inside my body.
 

‘
Tammy! Stop, please stop! Do not look into their eyes alright? That will worsen their effect, and then you will become as they are. Just-just listen to my voice. Listen to my voice, listen to me damn it, and-and pull yourself out of this place!’
 

The voice pushed through all the feelings swirling inside of me, holding me in place so I didn’t follow the urge to speed towards the shadows. I needed to be by them, I had to be by them.
 

“Yes, come to us Tammy. Join us, and you will never again have to return to the filthy human world,” one of the shadows said, his voice like sharp metal against a chalkboard. I flinched, my hands involuntarily going to my ears.
 

The hold that the shadows seemed to have grabbed on me wavered, and I looked away. What I saw made a gasp fly out of my mouth, and pure, complete terror build up again.
 

Grey and black were the only visible colors, but that wasn’t what had scared me. No, what I was seeing was much worse. I had landed in what could only be described as another world, and everything was twisted, seeming to be almost leaning towards me. The trees looked as if close to grabbing me with their branches, the grass looked as if going to impale me, and even the flowers looked deadly. Whatever the shadows had done to me before was completely gone now, and I knew without a doubt in my mind I was done with distractions. I was leaving, now.
 

‘
How do I pull myself out?’
 
I yelled desperately in my mind, hoping and praying that whoever had been speaking in my head was listening.
 

I saw everything creeping closer to me, including the shadows, and felt tears build up in my eyes. If my question wasn’t answered soon, I sure as hell wasn’t coming out here ever again. I hugged my legs to my chest, rocking back and forth with my eyes shut tight. If I was going to die, I definitely didn’t want to see it happen.

‘
Close your eyes, and seek out with your minds eye for where ever your body was supposed to land. Then imagine waking up in that exact area.’
 
The voice finally answered back, a mere whisper in my head.

I did what he said, although my eyes were already closed, and looked out with my mind. I saw myself standing in the tunnel as Aness opened the door, and saw myself drop to the floor and then get sucked into the blackness. Aness smiled, her wings turning black, and ran into the open door, landing in a beautiful ethereal landscape. It looked almost fairy-tale like, with a huge white castle and rich green lands.
 

Fey were flying above the greens, laughing and talking amongst one another, their faces just as ethereal as the landscape. I imagined myself in the green land, lying there as if sleeping soundly and then slowly opening my eyes.
 

A rush filled my ears, and then laughter. The same laughter I’d just heard seconds ago in the land Aness had popped into. My eyes snapped open, and I looked around. Yep, whoever was in my head and told me what to do was right. A laugh bubbled out my mouth, sounding slightly crazy, and I felt lightheaded. I wasn’t in that horrible place anymore, thank god.
 

“There you are!” Aness said, her eyes showing the relief she felt at finding me. “I’ve been looking all over for you! You just fell and then got sucked into the door! I wasn’t sure if that was what always happened when someone other than a Fey used the Doors.” Aness continued to ramble on, but I ignored her so I could look among the much more interesting place I’d landed in.

“Where are we Aness?” I asked, interrupting her ongoing talking. My gaze was fixed on the Fey that flew above me in beautiful twists and turns, and I felt a longing to be beside them as they flew.
 

“We’re in the Seelie Court!” Her voice was proud as she helped me up, her smile wide. “I’m taking you to meet...someone, because well-well she’ll know how to help you.” Aness grabbed my hand tightly in hers, making me notice how her hands had no temperature to them. It was like they were just there, nothing more, nothing less.

She then proceeded to rise, me rising right beside her. “Holy shit!” The words popped out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I saw many Fey give me a dirty look. Oops.
 

But that was quickly forgotten as we flew, my eyes glued to the colors and forms that passed below us. Trees thick with fruits of all different colors, lakes a sparkling clear blue, and Fey with their wings that hypnotized me with their beauty.

We flew and flew, until our destination was clear. The castle, Aness was taking me to the castle. There weren’t any doors in the castle, just wide, open windows the same color white as the bricks. We flew into one of the windows, landing in a room holding just one thing. Or technically three. A throne made entirely of diamonds that sparkled and shone with each turn of the head, a male Fey that was built like a linebacker and looked at me as if I was a threat, and a woman sitting atop the throne. She had thick blonde hair piled delicately atop her head, and her whole face looked sharp. Her eyes were a dark green, and her wings golden. She looked extremely familiar, and it took me only a second to figure out why.

“Hello Aness,” the woman said, her tone slightly humorous as she said Aness’s name.
 

Aness started to fidget, pulling at her green dress as if it wasn’t already perfect. Finally she looked up and into the woman’s eyes with a face devoid of any emotion. “Hello...hello mother.”

The Seelie Court

Okay, so I sort of already knew it what with them both looking a lot alike, but it still felt like a shock. I mean would you have guessed that Aness was pretty much a princess, when she technically worked for me? I kind of assumed she was abandoned at birth, because she had the whole against the world vibe radiating off of her. Obviously I was wrong.

The only major difference between the two, was how cold and dark the Seelie Queen looked. Wasn’t she supposed to be all light and goodness? I mean Seelie did mean good, right?

“I assume you came here for a reason?” the Queen asked, her voice spiking needles throughout my brain and interrupting my train of thoughts.

“Y-yes mother. We have a question for you.” Aness looked pale, sweat gathering at her forehead as she looked at her mother. Her hands were shaking, and I wondered why she was so afraid of this woman.

“Well then, you know there is always a price, but we will get to that after I hear the question. I assume it is you, young Amatores, who wants to know the questions answer?” Suddenly I figured out why Aness was so pale, why she was shaking so much. Once the Queens attention was on you, it felt like thousands of voices were screaming in your head, and you just wanted to go to her and never leave.
 

“Uh-uh yes,” I mumbled out, fighting against the urge to run to the Queen. It took everything I had just to talk to her, and that scared me. What was wrong with me? “I want-wanted to know wh-what this meant. Some-someone told me, I-I had to listen to time be-before it would-would listen to me. Do-do you know what-what that means?” Sweat gathered on my hands, sweat tinted the color pink, as I forced the words out through the block of fear lodged in my throat.

The Queens eyes blazed, and I felt myself shrink slightly away, waves of fear flowing throughout my body. She grabbed me, her hands burning me as it touched my skin, and she looked at me with a fury that I could feel all the way to my soul.

“Who told you that?” she asked, each word making a tiny scream erupt in my head. It felt like thousands of bees were stinging my head, and I wanted so badly to scream aloud, but something to told me that would do nothing. “Who told you that?”
 

The words were out of my mouth before I could think of holding them back, his name sending a bolt of warmth throughout my body. “Dracul.” My voice was nothing more than a whisper, hoarse as if I’d actually yelled outside my head.
 

The Queen let go of me, pushing me to the ground, and I scrambled as far from her as possible. As soon as her eyes went to Aness’s, I sagged against the cold marble wall, the weight of her gaze immediately disappearing. Air rushed into my mouth and I sucked it in gratefully, having not been aware that I hadn’t been breathing.

“Why did you take this abomination to my castle?” she yelled, and I felt pink tears glide down my face. Her voice was so painful to listen to, yet so alluring at the same time. I felt myself swaying against the wall, a battle raging within me.