Desire's Golden Dreams (12 page)

Hannah’s turn to be rankled. Alice May’s inference that Hannah only had a job because of her father was meant as a testament to Hannah’s incompetence. “Yes, he is in New York which leaves me nothing to do until he returns and then I will have double work as we play catch-up.”

Alice May waved away a platter of scrambled eggs. “Only some dry toast, Helene, and one or two of those kippers on the sideboard.” She turned back to Hannah. “You must be truly lonesome with both Bolt and Walt away.”

Hannah was a taken aback by the familiar way Bolt’s mother spoke her father’s name. No one called him anything less than Mr. Janes. Family only called him Walter. Virtually no one used the nickname, Walt. She’d ponder the intimate tone of Alice May’s words later. “Since Dad only left yesterday and Bolt drove in last evening to spend the night with me, I haven’t had a chance to be lonesome yet.”

Alice May froze, a slice of toast halfway to her mouth. Hannah had known Bolt didn’t see his mother last night. She regretted falling into Alice May’s battle of words now she saw how much the woman was hurt by Bolt’s neglect. “I believe he would have liked to pop in to say hello if he could have brought the woman he loves home with him. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Sorry.”

“You puff-up your own importance, my dear. I’m certain the oversight had nothing to do with you. This is supposed to be my son’s time with his father and he is always careful not to give preference to either parent by spending their time with the other.” Alice May finished her toast and dug into a kipper.

“I’m sure that was true when Bolt was a child. He’s an adult now, Alice May. Can’t we quit this tug-of-war for him at this point? He and I are a couple and have been for years and will be forever. I don’t know why you don’t like me, or think me unworthy of Bolt, but whatever you harbor against me, can we bury it? We all need to get on with our lives.”

“Listen, Hannah Janes, I do not hold any animosity toward you. It’s what is in you, in your genetic make-up, those who bore you, I take issue with. You are not going to make a misery of my son’s life like your—like many of your ancestors have done to their spouses. Learn about them and be enlightened about the strain of debauchery inbred in you. Your great-great-grandfather Joel was notorious and his mother Hannah Brown Tolliver had too many lovers to count and then the death under strange circumstances of that poor Hannah not so many years ago….” Alice May inhaled a ragged breath. “My grandchildren will not be born with such stains on their characters. Bloodlines will tell sooner or later.”

Alice May rose from her chair, her face splotched with red. She raised an intractable jaw high in the air and strode from the room with a final swirl and swish of her taffeta dressing gown.

Hannah sat agape for several seconds before a maid’s throat clearing brought her to her senses. “Sorry, Helene, I’ll see myself out.”

All the way on the drive to the mine, Hannah mulled Alice May’s words and tried to examine her logic. Because Hannah Brown Tolliver liked to fuck the men she loved and who loved her, did that make her debauched? They were a tight-knit family and each one was devoted to the others. Hannah thought of herself as married to each man and each of them as her husband. Sexually, she tried to please her husbands in their individual proclivities. Didn’t every husband and wife develop patterns of behavior acceptable to both? Hannah Brown had to be a little more flexible than most wives, that was all. Hannah Janes grinned at the double meaning in that statement. Dammit, she was letting Alice May get to her.

She drove up to the mine and parked. Bolt’s mother was right about one thing. This, here-and-now Hannah, had to learn all there was to know about the people whose bloodline she shared. How was it that Bolt’s mother knew more than she did? Her own mother must have poisoned that well since she and Alice May were the best of friends.

Slim waved from the mine entrance. Hannah slipped her hand into his and he led her silently through the maze to his lair. She paid more attention this time. A few more trips and she could find the room alone—or with Bolt.

Once Hannah was seated in her usual cloud chair, Slim kissed her hand, then settled into the chair across from hers. “You’re later than usual. Did you stay up late and sleep in? Did something happen in the night to pique your curiosity?”

“You invaded my bedroom last night. You watched me make love with Bolt. In fact, you participated in a small way, didn’t you?”

“In a very small way. You are much too tight in that virgin part of you. So tiny an opening could never accommodate me.”

Hannah sat forward and glared at him. “I thought you said you could see but not participate when away from the mine?”

“I did not lie. You see, I cannot participate in that I cannot be in my human form anywhere else. I do not feel myself in any human way in the other world.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’m explaining this badly. You see, when in spirit form, I have feelings but they are spirit feelings, not human. It is difficult to make you understand.”

“Try. I want to know whether or not to slap your face.”

“There’s a point here. If I were to slap Bolt’s face in your bedroom, he would feel the blow as a spasm of some kind. When I played with your oh so delightful full, round, and firm ass, I experienced a kind of joy, you might say. Intense pleasure filled me. If I’d had an orgasm it would be one that, as one of your authors once said, was an earth mover. For you, it would be a flicker of feeling, maybe arousing but not fulfilling.”

“I think I see, sort of.” She relaxed back into her seat. “Please don’t do it again. I don’t mind you watching. That’s kind of a turn-on, but don’t touch us.”

“I will try to restrain myself in the future. Now, back to the problem with your ass.”

“I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Nor do I. It is quite perfect. The trouble is, I would rip you going into it unless we stretch the opening before entry.”

“We? There is no we. You are never going to have the chance to penetrate my ass.”

“Don’t kid yourself. You’ve listened to how much Hannah Brown liked ass fucking and you want to try it. I see your face as I tell of cock going in and out of Hannah’s ass accompanied by her moans of ecstasy. You want it.”

Hannah stood and wandered around the room, arms folded in front of her. “I can’t deny the idea intrigues me, but I will never make love with anyone but Bolt and he has refused to discuss the topic.”

“Never say never. No situation ever stays the same. Even I can’t see the future.” Slim went to Hannah and placed an arm around her shoulders. “Come on over to the bar, I have something for you.”

She let him lead her to a barstool. He went behind the bar once she was seated.

“I’m going to have a brew. Do you want anything?”

Before she answered, he produced a cold bottle of water. Hannah took it and unscrewed the top. “You anticipated my answer. How do you go about getting supplies sent in here?”

“I don’t. I simply think and it appears.” Slim slid a photo across to her.

Hannah’s eyes widened. “You took this last night. Dammit, that’s no fair.”

“It isn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. You are beautiful in the nude. We could fuck, you know, and it wouldn’t really be cheating on Bolt since I’m not alive.”

“Not that I’d ever do it, but is it possible for you to actually fuck or is it as it was last night, a feeling with no substance?”

“I am able to actually fuck with my own actual cock, but only here. I can see other places and touch as I explained before, but I can’t go anywhere in human form. I’m doomed to eternity in this mine unless I’m released by….” He poured a beer from the tap, downed it, and poured another. He bent and took a box from a shelf beneath the bar. He set the box next to the picture on the bar top between them. He took another sip of beer.

Hannah was a little annoyed. He had started to say something important about why he was doomed to this mine, then stopped in mid-sentence. “Well?”

“Excuse me?” He gave her a calculated-to-look-confused glare.

She grimaced. “You started to say something about being released from this”—she gestured around the room—“destiny or whatever.”

“I said that? Hmm, don’t remember. Now, about your great, perfect ass that needs some stretching in a certain small area—”

“I do not intend to discuss it if you won’t tell me anything about yourself.” She picked up the box, pretty sure she wanted no part of what was in it, and threw it across the room.

“Okay, if you’re going to be pissy about it, I’ll wait to discuss that another day. If you want to hear about your ancestors, let’s take our drinks to the seating area where we can be more comfortable.” He gestured for her to go ahead of him and she hopped from the stool, marched to her chair, and plopped down.

Slim was right. She was feeling pissy. First the session with Alice May, and now Slim clamming up after he almost told her what she wanted to know about him. All her little-lost-girl-with-no-mother-and-an-indifferent-father emotions welled up inside her. Perhaps going back to another world would restore her equilibrium. “Yes, I would very much like to know about my ancestors. I need to know about the people I come from.”

San Francisco, 1862

Hannah sighed deeply. Wade had sat across the brunch table from her without talking for half an hour. For the last several minutes he’d been staring into space and stirring his coffee without hearing a word she’d said. This lethargy of his had been going on for weeks. She’d had enough. She stood and went to his side to stay his hand.

“No need for further stirring since you haven’t added any sugar to your coffee.”

“Sorry. I was thinking perhaps I should have joined the men who went to Massachusetts to enlist in the war.”

Hannah pressed a hand to her throat. Men. Did they simply love war? “They looked grand and excited as they set off from the harbor, didn’t they?”

“I should have been with them.”

“To what end?” Hannah pulled out the chair next to him and forced him to face her. “California’s gold will do more for the Union than one more body. We’ve talked about it with all of the partners in the mine and they unanimously agreed to contribute to preserve the Union. Brady is down at the docks every day a shipment goes out to help protect the cargo. You could do far more good down there than you could in Massachusetts.” She kissed him and stood again. “You can do far more good right this minute if you join Brady out on the lawn where he’s teaching Princess to ride her new pony. She’s eleven and hasn’t ridden by herself yet.”

“Brady is a much more patient teacher than I could ever be.”

“Nonsense. But if you don’t want to spend time with Princess, then look about north of here for some acreage with fertile soil for crops and build a ranch. It’s what you’re good at and what you love to do. Shipments of gold and food will aid the cause more than getting yourself blown up.”

He kissed her nose. “You are always so wise. I do feel at sixes and sevens now that the mine is being run by others. There’s so much fertile land in this state. I’m sure I’ll be able to find a ranch not too far away.”

“Take one or two of the house staff with you. I’m going to spend the day with Princess and Brady and the pony with the awful name of Peaches.”

“It’s your own fault. You let Princess name it herself and she named it after her favorite treat.”

Hannah left Wade to sort out his own day and went to the south lawn where Princess was taking Peaches through her paces around the courtyard at a slow trot. She clapped for her daughter and kissed Brady’s cheek. “You’ve done wonders with her. She appears to have lost her fear of going faster than a snail’s pace.”

“She’s a darlin’ like her mother. Me and her entered into a bargain. I won’t be afraid of learnin’ lessons with her and she won’t be afraid of riding at a clip.”

“You spend far too much time with her.”

“Not if I spent every minute. How’s the new guy doin’ in there?” He patted Hannah’s tummy. “You don’t look like you gained an ounce.”

“I have, but not enough to really show yet. I’m only four months along. Hey, you said little guy. And just what makes you think it’s a boy?”

“Only my gut feelin’. But I’ll be unhappy with another Princess.”

“I hate to break up her new-found skill of riding at a trot, but her nanny will be out here in minutes to call Hannah to lunch and her afternoon lessons. It’s nearly noon.”

“You and Wade stayed in bed late.” Brady hugged her shoulders. “Did you have fun after I left?”

Hannah pressed her lips tight together and shook her head. “Wade has not been much fun lately. He’s brooding about feeling useless.”

Princess pulled up in front of them. “Did you see me, Mommy?”

“I did.” Hannah clapped her hands and walked to her daughter. “You were a brave little girl.”

Princess leaned down to give Hannah a kiss. “Yes, I am very brave. Can I skip my lessons today and ride some more?”

“You can because you are able, but you may not because you don’t remember the difference between ‘can’ and ‘may’ and are in dire need of those lessons.”

“Oh, Mother.” She dismounted with a hand from Brady. “You coming for lessons, Papa Brady?”

“A deal’s a deal. I’ll be along after you have your lunch. Go inside now before Nanny gets cross and gives us both extra homework. You know how she hates to have to come look for you.”