Destiny (Waiting for Forever) (8 page)

Only one of the rooms I called about was available, and I made an appointment with the woman to see it the next day but hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. It was the only vacancy I’d found in a week.

Looking at my bedside clock again, I started to feel restless in the room. I wanted to get a place to live so I could find a job. Where I lived would be a huge determining factor in where I could work, so I couldn’t exactly start picking up job applications. I thought about going outside and walking around, but I just stood at the window instead. After the attack last year, I didn’t like to be around people very much.

I turned on the television after throwing myself down on the bed. In the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, really the only shows on were talk shows and soap operas. I flipped through the stations for a long time before deciding it was useless. Instead, I grabbed my bag and found the information for the Sunshine Center, a map, and the trolley schedule. It took about half an hour to map out and determine that I wouldn’t be able to get to the place by trolley. I’d have to take a cab, and while it wasn’t going to be cheap, it was a place to start. Jamie had been there for nearly a year, and even if he wasn’t there any longer, he must have talked to someone, befriended someone. Maybe they would have an idea where he would have gone next. After that, I would probably start checking shelters, but I hoped I’d find him before I started searching blindly.

Dropping the map on the desk, I lay back on the perfectly made bed and stared at the ceiling. There were no cracks in it, and I noticed the contrast to my own bedroom ceiling immediately. I closed my eyes, picturing Jamie in my mind, trying to focus on every detail I could remember. I hadn’t seen him in over a year, but I could still remember the way his straw-colored hair felt under my fingers. I could still feel his soft lips on mine in that very first kiss. I had been so scared that day, but it turned out to be one of the best days of my life. However, the best day of my life had been the day Jamie had told me he loved me. With Jamie’s voice in my mind reminding me how much he loved me, I fell asleep.

I woke with a start to hear my phone ringing on the desk. Jumping up, I slammed my knee into the desk chair as I grabbed for it. The pain jarred up my leg, and I swore silently as I checked the display. It was Carolyn.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, rubbing my knee.

“Hey, kid,” she replied, copying my casual greeting. I smiled in spite of the pain in my leg. “I just called to see how you were doing. Did you eat?”

“Yes, I had pizza a little bit ago. I went to the library earlier trying to find a few more places to call about a room, and I just woke up from a nap. It’s been nonstop excitement here.”

She laughed, and I heard her cover the mouthpiece and say something else in the background.

“Pizza, huh?”

“First, there were green peppers, mushroom, and onions on the pizza, so I had vegetables. Plus the tomato sauce constitutes a vegetable,” I reasoned. “Mom, tell Dad I said hi and I miss him.” Carolyn relayed my message, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

“He said to tell you that he misses you, too, and he wants you to be careful,” she said, and I could hear the worry.

“I am being careful,” I replied. Other than helping Sarah in the bus station in Houston, I had stayed out of trouble and been safe.

“So you’re looking for a place to live, but what about a job?” she asked.

“I can’t really start looking for a job until I know where I’m going to live. I have to be able to get there by public transportation,” I reminded her.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you had a plan.” I sat down on the bed and leaned back against the headboard with a sigh, stretching out my bad leg. Carolyn must have heard the change. “Having second thoughts?” she asked quietly.

“No,” I said quickly. Grabbing a pillow, I held it against my chest and rested my cheek on it. “No, I’m not having second thoughts. I’m just… I don’t know, lonely, I guess. I don’t know anyone here, and I miss you guys and Adam. I miss Kyle and Sensei too. This is what I want to do and where I want to be. I guess when I was planning everything out, I just didn’t plan on feeling so isolated.”

“Once you find a place to live and find a job, you’ll start meeting people. You’ll make new friends and won’t feel so alone, honey. Don’t you worry about that,” she said soothingly.

“Thanks, Mom,” I told her, looking over at the clock and noticing that it was seven thirty. “Wow, I didn’t realize it was so late. I need to call that guy about the room.” I was talking more to myself than her, but she understood.

“I’ll give you a call tomorrow night to see how you’re doing. If you find a place to live, make sure to let us know where you’ll be, okay?”

“Okay, Mom. I may call you first if I find something,” I told her, trying to calm her fear of me disappearing into thin air.

“I love you, Brian. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I love you too, Mom. Good night.” I closed my phone and set it on the bed next to me. For a minute, my homesickness was like a physical weight on my chest. Texting with Carolyn had made me miss her, Richard, and home. Hearing her voice was like throwing gasoline on the fire because now the feeling intensified to almost intolerable levels. My throat burned, and to stave off the tears I couldn’t afford, I grabbed my backpack and found the ad I needed. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I dialed.

“You found me,” the buoyant voice greeted me when the call connected, and it surprised me a little. Most people I knew answered the phone with a simple “Hello.”

“Hi, I’m calling about your ad for a room,” I said, trying to sound confident. It was almost as if all the other calls I had made had been trial runs because I really wanted this one. I only hoped that it wasn’t too good to be true and I wasn’t setting myself up for a disappointment.

“Okay, kid, how old are you?” he asked.

“I’m eighteen,” I said, hoping that it wouldn’t count against me.

“How do I know you’re going to pay me?” That was an odd question. He didn’t ask if I had a job or references, like the others I’d called.

“I just arrived here last week so I don’t have a job yet, but as soon as I find a place to live, I will be looking. I also have the money for first and last month’s rent as well as a cushion in case I don’t find a job right away,” I parroted some of the stuff I’d gotten from the other calls. Some wanted a security deposit, others wanted the first and last month’s rent. What I really wanted to get across to the guy was that I had a plan, and I was someone he wanted to take a chance on.

“Don’t ever tell someone what kind of money you have, kid. If you do, they’ll take advantage of you,” he admonished. “You want to come by tonight and take a look at it, or wait until tomorrow?”

“I need to check the trolley schedule and what stop you’re closest to. What’s the address?” I asked, grabbing my map and the trolley schedule.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I can come and get you and bring you back,” he offered, and I started to feel very uneasy.

“Uhmmm… I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, I don’t really know you, and—” I started, but he cut me off with a laugh.

“Thank God, at least you have some sense,” he said. “You in a good part of town, kid? Where are you coming from?”

“I… I don’t know if it’s good. It seems okay. I’m a couple of blocks from the bus station.” I started throwing the trolley schedule and the map into my backpack.

“You should be okay, but you can come by tomorrow morning if you want,” he offered. By tomorrow morning, I hoped to have a place to live so I could start looking for a job and Jamie.

“No, I’ll come tonight.”

“You seem pretty determined, cowboy. I like that. I think you’ll do well here. Okay, just take the Downtown/Adams bus on First to University and Eighth Street; we’re a couple of blocks north. It will still be light when you get here, so you’ll be okay finding it. Make sure you come up to the right side of the building. Take the stairs. Don’t come in through the front. You sound pretty adorable, and a hot little boy like you, fresh off the bus, they’ll eat you alive.” I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that, but I was intrigued anyway as he gave me an address.

“Who should I ask for?” I asked, grabbing my room key and putting it in my pocket as I headed for the door.

“Just ask for Leo, baby.”

T
HE
bus ride from the hotel to Eighth Street wasn’t as long as I’d expected. Straight up First Street and then a right on University, and I was practically there. When the bus stopped, I stepped onto the sidewalk and then moved back away from the busy street to get my bearings. Heavy traffic moved on University Avenue, while on Eighth Street, a line of cars waited at the light. I tried to stay out of the way of the people passing and figure out which way I needed to go. Joining the small crowd, I headed across University Avenue and up Eighth, looking at the numbers on each of the buildings.

Underneath the cloudless sky, the street came alive with people and colors, activity all around me. Two guys in helmets rode past me on fast-looking bikes, their thin T-shirts rippling in the wind as they stood and peddled up the slight hill. A little boy played dangerously close to the passing cars while his mother talked on a cell phone and checked her watch. She grabbed the boy just as another bus came to a stop on the corner, pulling him with her as she boarded.

Even with the rushing people around me, as I walked farther up the street, it felt peaceful, and I prayed again that I would get to live in such a beautiful place.

About a block before the street curved out of sight, I found the building, which looked like it might have been a converted warehouse, or maybe a four-story office building. Brown, faded, chipped bricks framed huge windows. Deep grooves divided each thick pane into three- or four-inch perfectly square glass blocks, obscuring the view inside. Strains of a half-remembered pop song escaped through the big steel door as it swung open. Two incredibly hot guys in their midtwenties came out with their arms around each other’s waists. They were so into each other they didn’t see me until they were only feet from me. The taller of the two pulled his friend to a stop and whispered something to him. The shorter guy, his brilliant blue eyes dancing, smiled at me as if I should understand the joke they shared.

“Hey, pretty boy,” he said, taking a step closer, making me feel self-conscious. They looked like they could have walked off the cover of a magazine, with skintight jeans and even tighter shirts that showed off every perfectly sculpted line of their chests and arms. I felt a little inadequate, just a skinny kid in baggy jeans and discount-store shoes.

“Hi,” I replied, trying to be polite. For all I knew, one of them could be Leo, but he had sounded much older over the phone.

“Are you lost, angel?” the first guy asked and reached out to stroke my arm. I flinched instinctively, and his smile faltered. “It’s okay, kid. I’m not gonna hurt you.” His tone turned from playful to concerned in an instant.

“I don’t think he’s here for the baths, Andy,” the shorter guy told his friend.

“I think you’re right, Pete,” Andy agreed, running a hand through his perfect hair. “You looking for someone, babe?”

“I’m looking for Leo,” I said, moving to my right, trying to find the stairs the guy had mentioned over the phone. I saw some black ironwork on the side of the building, but no stairs. “He told me to take the stairs on the right and not to go in the front door.”

“He’s talking about the fire escape,” Andy said, pointing to the black metal on the side of the building. “It’s okay; we’ll take you to Leo.” I started to protest, but he stepped forward, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and pulled me toward the front door. His friend followed right behind us, almost close enough to touch me. Briefly, I wondered what the hell was happening on the other side of that door.

Without allowing his arm to leave my shoulders, Andy opened the door, and the music got a little louder. He pulled me swiftly down the long, dimly lit hallway, and I noticed that there were doors along either side, some open, some closed. Out of sheer curiosity, I looked in one of the open doors and immediately slowed. There was a naked guy with one knee on a cot, propped up somewhat awkwardly on his elbows as he held onto the sides of the cot while a big, muscled, hairy man took him from behind. One huge hand was fisted in the kneeling man’s hair, holding his head up so our eyes met. A small smile curled his lips even as cries escaped them with each hard thrust. His expression was an acute mixture of pleasure and pain. When he winked at me, I felt a strong stirring in my boxers. I was shocked by what I saw, but not so shocked that it failed to turn me on.

Andy pulled me past several more closed doors, but before we could reach the end of the hallway, a door to my left opened and a naked man backed out, closing it behind him. I stopped as he stepped into the center of the hall in front of us.

“Hey, Pete, who’s your little friend?” he asked with a leer. Andy’s arm remained around my shoulders, and he pulled me just a little closer.

“He’s a friend of Leo’s; we were just going upstairs. Whatcha doin’ tonight, Mike?”

“Twins,” the man said as two younger guys, maybe even younger than me, walked out of the room looking a little dazed. The boys were identical except for their messy clothes. In simultaneous movements, they leaned over on each side of the guy and kissed him, one tangling his fingers in the man’s short brown hair, before making their way back down the hall the way we’d come.

“You’re something else,” Andy said, laughing as the naked man half shrugged.

“So I’m told,” he replied with a wink, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. His dark eyes twinkled with humor as they studied me closely. “Wanna find that out, baby boy?” Very slowly, Mike traced my lips with his finger.

“Okay,” Andy said, pulling me back away from the naked man’s touch. “We need to get this kid upstairs.” My cheeks were hot and flushed as we navigated around Mike, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking back as we reached the stairs.