Determination (10 page)

“Well, I love this place, so I’ll let you bring me here whenever you want,” Alex said with a grin, but then sobered quickly when Mike asked him how he knew about it. “My family lives a few blocks from here,” he said quietly and put his fork down on the napkin next to his plate to take a long drink of wine. Mike put his hand over Alex’s on the table but didn’t comment.

“So, you guys want to go out after this? Alex, are there any good clubs around here?” Brandon asked, and Alex looked startled to hear him use his name. Usually Brandon called him “kid” or “boy” or worse. It seemed all Alex needed to get Brandon off his ass was a little confidence. I was really glad he found that with Mike, even if the guy was a jerk. So long as he wasn’t a jerk to Alex, things would be fine.

“I know where some good gay clubs are around here,” Alex told him with a smirk, but Brandon just shrugged.

“Dude, I spend half my life sleeping with you guys. I don’t care if it’s a gay club so long as they have decent music and good beer.

Besides, maybe my little girl and I can pick up a stray pup to bang later.” Brandon looked at Leslie, who had been quiet throughout dinner.

Her eyes lit up as she slid one of her hands under the table, presumably to rest in Brandon’s lap.

“I think that’s a fantastic idea,” she said, and then leaned over to whisper something in Brandon’s ear.

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“Oh yeah, I definitely think that’s on the menu for later,” he told her with a smile and then kissed her. For a second, I wondered what kind of relationship they must have if they picked up random people for sex. It reminded me about Brandon hooking up with the waitress in New Orleans.

Of course, it was none of my business, but I believed in monogamy. It bothered me that Brian had to sleep with other guys to pay the rent. I knew from experience they didn’t necessarily have an emotional connection—it was just sex. That didn’t stop it from needling at me when I thought about him having sex at the studio.

The banter between Brandon and Alex continued through the rest of dinner. Even Em and Brian got into it and gave Mike crap about how whipped he’d become with Alex. That started an entirely different discussion about whipping and bondage that I didn’t need to hear when it came to Mike and Alex. Em practically bounced in his seat, ready to get to the club and dance. I thought he looked forward more to picking up a trick. Leo, who had been rather quiet during dinner as well, surprised us by mentioning he wanted to go to the club.

As Mike’s Jeep wove through the winding streets, Brian said he thought maybe Leo was lonely. He spent most of his time working on causes, maintaining the boardinghouse, or helping its inhabitants.

“I’ve been here a year, and I’ve never heard of him even going on a date,” Brian confided as we pulled into the parking lot of an understated dance club.

“I’ve been with him a hell of a lot longer than that, and I’ve never seen him date,” Mike amended with a sigh. “I don’t know why. Leo is a hell of a guy. He deserves to find someone.”

“Would you have said that six months ago, before you found Alex?” Brian asked with a smirk, and Mike turned to Alex.

“I see your point, but now that I’m happy, I want everyone to be happy.” Mike slid his hand into Alex’s and started walking toward the spot where Brandon had parked so we could all go in together. Leo got out of Brandon’s SUV and looked around slowly. It took me a minute to realize he was scanning for Steven. I’d been so relaxed and happy since the restaurant, I had nearly forgotten about the danger. Chastising 60

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myself for the lapse, I followed the group to the entrance. They shunted Brian and me into the middle of the throng, and I slipped past the guy carding without incident. It amazed me how these guys had perfected sneaking underage friends in with them.

I’d been to a few clubs with Steven, usually because he knew or could pay off the guy at the door. Of course, I never really got why anyone would want to go, because dancing with Steven as he groped me on the floor always felt like dancing on stage in front of a drunken crowd. The hands, the pinches, and everything I hated about the experience remained the same. The one and only difference between that and dancing on stage was that I could get drunk and not worry as much about being embarrassed.

I should have known the experience with Brian would be completely different.

Brandon and Josh went up to the bar to get drinks while the rest of us found a table off to the side of the dance floor. Leo and Emilio scanned the crowd a few times, possibly looking for potential dance partners or even hookups. As I slid into the booth next to Brian, his arm went around my shoulders, and I relaxed into him. His lips pressed against the back of my neck, and I loved how perfectly the night had gone so far.

“Are you going to dance with me tonight?” Brian murmured against my skin, and I could focus on nothing but the tingling feeling of his lips.

“It’s your birthday celebration—I’ll do whatever you want,” I told him and hoped my expression looked halfway sexy. Without a word, he leaned over and pulled my earlobe between his teeth. I shivered at his warm breath in my ear.

“What if I said I wanted you to ride me until you came like a geyser all over me?” The temperature in the room spiked suddenly. I reached back and threaded my fingers in his hair.

“I’d tell you that I’m not feeling well at all, and I think we should go home… right now,” I whispered back and slid my hand into his lap.

He glanced around quickly and then grabbed my hand and slid it up to his crotch so I could feel the erection under his jeans. “Is that for me?”

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“Uh-huh,” he moaned against my ear, and just as he started to rub my chest with light fingers, the guys came back with drinks. I pulled the baggie with the oxy out of my pocket and took one with the rum and Coke.

“Babe, you shouldn’t be drinking and taking that stuff,” Brian said quietly and tilted my chin so I looked at him as I sat sideways in the booth with my back against his chest. “Please be careful with that. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

“I’ll switch to soda after this one,” I promised. “I just want to have fun with you tonight without having to worry about stuff, you know?” He nodded, wrapped his arms around my chest, and held me tightly against him while I finished the drink. Mike and Alex sat in a similar position across from us with Alex pressed back against Mike’s chest. We tried to talk to them over the music, but mostly we just talked to each other, until Brian squealed behind me and smacked Mike’s arm across the table.

“Ow, what?” he asked, caught off guard by the sudden slap. Brian pointed not so subtly to the dance floor, and we all looked over to see Leo dirty dancing with a kid who couldn’t have been older than I was.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Mike said with a laugh. We decided to stay at the table for a while longer—until Leo had disappeared with his friend, actually—before we made our way onto the floor. I hadn’t really kept up with current music while I’d lived on the street or with Steven, but I felt really good and just let my body move with little conscious thought. Leo emerged after three or four songs and danced with us for a while. Brandon and Leslie found a sweet little twink who seemed to be just as into Leslie’s groping as Brandon’s hot looks. Mike and Alex danced almost illegally in our circle, surrounded by envious onlookers.

A few guys tried to hook up with the couple for the night, but they were only interested in each other. It didn’t take long for most of our group to decide that sex sounded better than dancing, and we called it an early night. Leo and Em wanted to stay, so Mike left his keys with Leo, and the rest of us piled into Brandon’s SUV. It should have been able to seat seven adults, but we crammed in eight instead, including Brandon and Leslie’s little twink, and Mike took full advantage of Alex ending up on his lap.

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Even with the cramped seating arrangement in the car, I still felt great when we pulled up in front of our apartment complex. Mike put Alex in the seat he vacated and told him to stay there while he and Brandon got out. The SUV clock showed it was nearly midnight, and the street beyond our windows was pitch-black. Brandon and Mike looked around for a few minutes but didn’t see any sign of Steven.

Mike opened Brian’s door to let us out, and then they walked us up to the apartment. I may not have felt very safe because, really, Brandon and Mike were no match for a gun, but it was nice of them to take such good care of us. In Mike’s case, he wanted to protect Brian, but Brandon and I had always gotten along well.

“Make sure you double-lock the door,” Mike told Brian once we were inside. He hugged Brian and kissed the top of his head before leaving again with Brandon. Brian turned the locks and watched through the window as Mike got back into the SUV. Once the silver vehicle had rounded the corner, Brian turned to me and wrapped his arms around me.

“Are you tired, babe?” he asked, and I loved the soft, sensual tone in his voice. Brian could be so sexy without even trying.

“I believe you promised to let me ride you until I came all over you,” I whispered and ran my tongue lightly around the shell of his ear.

His shiver made me hard for him even before I felt his hands tighten on my waist to steady himself.

“I want to ride you instead. Is that okay?” he asked, and whimpered softly when I grabbed his ass in both hands and squeezed.

“Let’s go to bed,” I told him as I led him to the bed in the back of the room. He turned off lights on our way, and we undressed side by side under the moonlight filtering in through the window above our heads.

“I’m going to go clean up. I’ll be right back,” Brian said in a whispered kiss against the back of my neck. Turning, I kissed him back and then watched him walk naked into the bathroom nearby. The sound of running water came through the closed door, and I rummaged around for a few minutes in our side table. Condoms and lube were sitting in the drawer next to a few pillar candles. Knowing Brian, he had put the candles there in case of a power outage, but I liked the idea Determination

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of making love to him by candlelight, so I pulled them out. I put two on his side table, one on mine, and then lit them with the matches I had also found in the drawer.

The water shut off in the bathroom, so I went to the door and knocked softly.

“Can I come in and brush my teeth?” I asked quietly, and the door opened. Brian put the small travel bag in his hand under the sink and closed the cabinet door. He grabbed both of our brushes from the medicine cabinet over the sink and handed mine to me. We stood side by side in front of the mirror and brushed our teeth in the nude.

Anticipation pulsed through me as Brian’s reflected eyes met mine and he smiled.

We left the brushes and toothpaste on the sink and turned toward the door. Brian stopped me with a hand on my arm, and I turned to look at him.

“You have toothpaste…,” he said, and used his thumb to brush along my bottom lip. Covering his hand with my own, I held it against my face.

“Brian,” I whispered and kissed the bed of his thumb. A low, desperate moan escaped him as his lips replaced his thumb on my mouth. Slowly, we moved out of the bathroom toward the bed. For every step he took backward, I took one forward to keep our lips together. I never wanted space between us again.

After several minutes, we reached the bed, and I watched as he climbed onto the big mattress and reclined back against the pillows.

Crooking one finger at me, he invited me to join him in our bed. It was an invitation that I would never refuse.

I didn’t kiss him, but instead rolled him onto his stomach with his hips raised on my pillow. He looked back over his shoulder at me, trying to figure out what I would do. Rather than looking nervous, he appeared merely curious. Beautiful in the filtered moonlight, he relaxed on his stomach as the flicker of candles danced against his perfect skin.

Starting at the soles of his feet, I rubbed every inch of his tender flesh.

By the time I reached the tops of his thighs, he trembled under my hands.

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Brian moaned deeply into the pillow when I massaged his back and shoulders. The sound made me throb as I straddled his hips. When the tension in his muscles had eased, I changed tactics. I’d intended to relax him with the massage, but I also wanted to excite him. Swiping the curls off the back of his neck, I pressed my lips there as the rest of my body pinned him against the mattress.

“Jamie,” he moaned in a breathless whisper as he turned his head, but I wasn’t done—not even close. The pain in my body couldn’t quite make it past the fog of drugs and booze, and I felt good for the first time in weeks. I wanted to make my Brian feel good too. In fact, I wanted to give him a night of blissed-out sex that he could remember when he had to close his eyes and bang other guys at work.

As soon as that image entered my mind, I shoved it away. I refused to think about that right then. In that moment, the only people who mattered were Brian and me.

I trailed long, tender kisses down his spine and felt him shift. It seemed that my sweet Brian was getting hard against the pillow beneath his hips. When I reached the dip in his back at the base of his spine, I nuzzled my face against it while he gasped. My name came again, with no real volume, as I watched his fingers tighten in the sheets. I cherished each of his quiet little sounds when my lips ghosted over his perfect globes.

“Oh my God,” Brian squeaked into the pillow, barely loud enough for me to hear. It seemed to go on forever like that—his hips rolling under my touch, his sweet desperate sounds, and the taste of him on my tongue. Unable to stand it any longer, he reached between his body and the bed to stroke himself. My own erection ached from watching the way he couldn’t keep still or quiet.

“It’s your birthday, angel… tell me what you want,” I told him, and his face turned toward the sound of my voice without opening his eyes.

“Please, lay down. I want to be on top.” The hoarse request sounded like music. When I didn’t move immediately, his beautiful eyes opened, and he looked back at me. Grinning at him, I got up on my knees and moved up to the head of the bed to lie next to him. As he blew out a long breath, he came up on his knees and moaned.