Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (106 page)

“After that,” Travis continues bluntly, stating fact after graphic fact. “They sat me on that fucking couch and made me watch them mess with you again.”

“Yes. Oh God, Darren . . .” Cheryl weeps uncontrollably, calling for Trav’s dad.

“Don’t you say his name,” Travis bellows. “My dad is dead and hearing you say his name makes me sick.”

She stares at Travis with a blank expression. Each in a mental tug of war with a past neither of them wants to remember.

“They didn’t let me move from the couch,” Travis continues. “They made me watch them touch you.”

“Stop,” she pleads.

My hand holding Lacey’s continues to squeeze tightly. I can’t let her go. We’re keeping each other grounded. Trav’s breathing is ragged. His voice starts to shake. “I watched my mother being raped by two men and she was so fucking out of it I had to do it alone.”

“Stop,” she pleads, this time louder.

Travis moves his arm around Lacey’s back, bringing her nearly face to face with me as we both settle our heads against his chest. I hear Lacey whisper something, but can’t make out her words.

“Lacey’s father,” Travis says. “Who is he?”

The moment Lacey hears his question, her eyes look directly into mine and I can’t do anything but watch furious pain pass over her face. Instantly, I no longer recognize her.

Cheryl says nothing.

“I asked who Lacey’s father is.”

Lacey, putting the pieces together quickly, looks at Cheryl. “Mom?”

“Stop,” Cheryl begs, this time through her own tears.

“My dad’s name is Barry,” Lacey explains to Travis. “I haven’t seen him in . . .”

“Your father’s name was Manny.”

The air in the room evaporates. I suck in a breath and Travis pushes me away so he can grab Lacey with both arms. He positions himself in front of her, kneeling.

Pulling her head up, Travis frames her face. “This doesn’t change you, Lacey. This is dirty and you’re not.”

“Manny was killed in a motorcycle wreck two years ago,” Cheryl adds. “He served time for what he did to me.”

“That’s why you hate me,” Lacey draws out softly.

Cheryl doesn’t say anything.

Travis moves to sit next to Lacey again, but she stops him. She looks at Travis, but her words are meant for her mother. “I always knew there was something I had to be missing,” she whispers. “Some reason unknown to me why my mom couldn’t stand to look at me.”

“I loved you,” Cheryl states. “I was sick and when I found out I was pregnant I thought of aborting the pregnancy. I almost went through with it, but couldn’t.”

Travis pulls Lacey closer to him, and then focuses back on Cheryl. “Why’d you leave my dad?”

“Because it was what he wanted. He was angry. After it happened we tried to stay together. I begged him to forgive me for putting you in danger.”

“He didn’t forgive you,” Travis assumes out loud.

Cheryl’s head shakes. “No, and I was spending more time trying to keep him than heal myself. I was using more and more to forget the pain. It was too late for my marriage, so I left.”

I watch Trav’s eyes soften. He’s softening toward her with pity. “You were a good mom, I think. From what I remember anyway.”

“I was a good mom to you. It wasn’t until I found out I was pregnant with Lacey I realized I had no business being anyone’s mother.”

“Travis,” Lacey whispers, calling his name for protection. “Please make her go away.”

Travis nods and stands. Immediately Lacey moves toward me and grabs my hand. Tears fall from my eyes but not from sadness for what happened to Cheryl all those years ago. The tears are for her kids; those she left in pain in the wake of her fucked-up life.

“You need to go,” Trav tells her.

“And never come back,” I add, looking at Lacey sitting next to me, so lost and broken.

Cheryl stands, her legs having a hard time keeping balance. “I hope I gave you whatever you were looking for.”

“Yes,” Travis replies.

“I’ll go,” Cheryl says, walking toward him.

Travis backs up and points to the door without another word. Cheryl walks to it and doesn’t stop until she’s closed it behind her.

The wail of anguish that leaves Lacey breathless is heart wrenching.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Travis

“SARAH, CAN YOU
call Hayden for me?” I ask while holding Lacey on the couch. “She can’t drive and he needs to get here soon. If he doesn’t answer, have him paged at the Ward.”

Sarah nods and heads toward the kitchen, surprisingly doing exactly what I’ve asked.

“Lacey,” I call, hoping she’ll hear me. She hasn’t said a word in the twenty minutes that have passed since our mother left. “I didn’t want you to hear any of that. I wasn’t sure it was true until today.”

She sniffs against my chest and I rub her back for comfort. “I knew, Travis. Barry and I don’t look anything alike
really.
I mean, I guess I believed he was my dad because that’s what I was told. He was always so nice to me.”

“This doesn’t change who you are.”

“I’m the result of my mother’s rape. Jesus, no wonder she fucking hated me.”

“I love you,” I tell her, running my hand over her head, trying to offer reassurance.

Sitting up, she wipes her eyes and turns to look at me. “I really want to go home.”

“We can do spa day another time, Lace,” Sarah tells her, situating herself on the edge of the couch. Sarah hands her a bottle of water and watches to ensure Lacey takes a drink.

“Thanks,” Lacey returns, accepting the drink. “We’ll go later this week.”

Sarah stews for a second. I watch as she bites the inside of her lip, but I’m waiting for her to say what’s on her mind. Then she does.

“Your mom’s a cunt,” she starts. Lacey and I turn to look at her as she keeps talking. “I mean, seriously. Who the fuck keeps something like that a secret from their kids?”

“I feel sorry for her,” Lacey answers. “It makes me sad to know a person’s soul is so dark that they are able to keep something like that in for so long.”

“Cunt,” Sarah utters again.

I move my hand to Sarah’s knee to keep it from bouncing. “We get it, Sarah. You hate her.”

Sarah shrugs, looks to Lacey and replies, “Hate cunts, yeah.”

This causes Lacey to grin a little, which I’m thankful for—cunt talk or not.

“Lacey.” I get her attention. “Hayden’s on his way. Is there anything you want to talk about before he gets here?”

Now sitting up, Lacey shakes her head.

“Need a foot rub?” Sarah asks my sister with a smirk. Again I see a small smile trace Lacey’s face and I’m thankful for that one, too.

“Travis rubs your feet?” Lacey asks in surprise.

“Yep. He’s okay at it. It’s not great but it gets the job done, I guess.”

Now Lacey releases a small laugh and turns to me. Her eyes are brimming with tears and her face is still full of them, but I see a small light in her smile. “You really rub her feet?”

“Sometimes,” I answer casually. Mentally, though, I’m committing to never doing it again.

“This has been a God damn day of revelations,” Lacey tells Sarah.

Sarah agrees. “Fuck yeah, it has.”

“I hate your mouth,” I say to them both.

“You’ve mentioned that,” Sarah returns, taking another drink, but her eyes never leave mine.

Sarah gets up to check the parking lot outside my front window. I can tell she’s anxious for Lacey to leave. After a few minutes she informs us, “Hayden’s here. I told him you didn’t feel good. I didn’t want him worrying all the way over.”

Lacey wipes her eyes, stands, and walks to Sarah to hug her tight. “I don’t think there’s anyone else I would’ve wanted with me during this mess.”

Sarah looks puzzled. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You did everything. The cunt decree included.”

Sarah smiles and looks back at me before telling Lacey, “Go home and be with your superhot man. Call me later.”

Hayden enters the apartment and the second Lacey’s eyes move to his, she
completely
falls apart.

* * *

“I’m not having kids,” Sarah tells me as I finish rubbing her God damn feet while the credits of
Snapped
start to scroll the screen.

“You’re not?”

“Nah. Parents fuck ’em up. I don’t want to do that to an innocent kid.”

Before Lacey and Hayden left we all filled Hayden in on what happened. Understandably he was upset he hadn’t been here when the news came pouring out like acid, destroying everything it touched. He was pissed with me briefly, until Sarah informed him I had tried to get them to leave
before
Cheryl showed up.

“Do you feel better?” Sarah asks, looking at me from her prone position on the couch.

I take another pull from my beer before I answer. “Yes and no. I hate that’s how shit went down, but I’m hoping now that I know, I’ll never have to think about it again.”

“I’m really sorry, Travis.”

“I’m okay.”

“I’m not sorry Lacey and I were here.”

“Didn’t figure you would be.”

“I still want to kill your mother.”

“I know.”

“She’s a cunt.”

“You said that.”

“I hate her.”

“You said that, too. Can we stop talking about her?”

“Sure.” She shrugs and turns her focus to the television.

I stew for a few minutes, my grip getting tighter on her foot. She winces and starts to pull it back, but I stop her and turn to give her what’s on my mind. “You said Hayden was hot.”

“What?” she asks in surprise.

“You told Lacey to go be with her ‘superhot man.’ I didn’t love that.”

Her smile starts slowly, but grows, adding to my irritation. “Are you jealous?”

“Nope.”

Maybe a little.

“Hayden
is
hot,” she repeats. “Like, uh,
super
-fucking-hot.”

“Sarah,” I warn, narrowing my eyes, but continue to avoid looking at her.

“Have you seen him lately?” she ribs. I know what she’s doing, but it pisses me off. “Guys even crush on Hayden Flynn, for fuck’s sake, Travis. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought—”

Moving quickly, I grab both her ankles and drag her to me. I blanket her body with mine and hold her arms over her head. “Shut up.”

“So, you’re jealous. Who cares?”

“You used to follow him around like a puppy, Sarah. Now you’re telling me you still think he’s hot.”

“He’s married to your sister. I hardly think I have a shot.”

Now she’s pissing me off. “You want a shot with him?” I ask, feeling my face get warm.

“Do you think he’d give me one? Maybe he’d entertain having us both for an evening. He used to be into that, ya know.”

“If you’re serious, things are about to go in a very different fuckin’ direction tonight.”

She smiles, trying to free her arms from my hold. “We’re even.”

“Even?”

“You pissed me off the night I came home and you led me to believe Ellie was here for different reasons. I haven’t said a word about it until now.”

I don’t like this game. Neither will she. “Rae’s fucking hot,” I snap, pushing myself off her and sitting back where I was before.

Her mouth hangs open and she’s speechless.

“Superhot. She has a nice body and a beautiful smile,” I add.

Sitting up in place, I see her mind working. She gets angrier and angrier with each second that passes. “That’s not the same!”

“The fuck it isn’t,” I claim.

Grabbing the remote in my hand, I start to flip the channels. I’m acting casual, and Sarah is anything but casual, no matter the circumstances.

“We’re so not even anymore,” she mumbles.

“Sure we are,” I tell her.

With a defeated posture and tone, Sarah stands, walks around me, and heads to the hall. “We aren’t, but we will be.”

Looking back at her, I watch as she undresses outside our bedroom door. “I’m sleeping without clothes. Until you apologize, no touching.”

“You’ll beg for it,” I say, shutting my eyes and turning around, still trying to play casual.

“Too bad. All you have to do is apologize and I’d suck your dick and let you come all over my ass this time.”

Hearing her crass language, I throw the remote down. She yelps as she darts to the room and shuts the door.

As if that, or anything else going forward, will keep me from her again.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Early July. . . .

Travis

“I’M NEVER GETTING
married,” Sarah claims as she continues hanging streamers throughout the living room at Hayden’s dad’s beach house.

“Don’t say that. You will,” Lacey corrects her.

“Maybe. If I do it’ll be a quick one then. This is too fucking much.”

I’m standing in the kitchen listening to these chickens talk about the stupidest shit they can think of. We’ve spent four days decorating this place in a rush because Cathy and Brian have insisted they’d rather get married in early July versus late September.

Brian doesn’t do anything quick or small. Now, add the fact that he’s absolutely in love with Cathy and would give her anything she’d ever ask for, and we’re all rushing around like lunatics trying to make it happen.

I hear Rae ask, “Are we all staying here tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, think so,” Lacey tells her. “Hayden wants to drink and Bean’s old neighbor Mary is watching
all
the kids. Her daughter’s in from out of town and she said she’s not big into weddings, so she asked Hayden if it would be okay to take them all. Hayden, Toby, and Ace all said yes, but I guarantee Hayden will pick Liv up by midnight.”

Lacey’s right. Hayden won’t be able to stay away from Olivia overnight for any reason.

“I haven’t felt good the past month or so. I’m not sure if it’s because of my mother or not, but I haven’t felt the same since.”

“Cunt,” I hear Sarah utter and the others laugh.

I smile.

Ace comes around the corner and I put my finger to my mouth, telling him not to talk. He moves to stand beside me and grabs my second beer that was sitting on the counter waiting for me to drink it.

“Decklan asked if me if he could call Ace ‘Dad.’”

Ace looks over at me and grins. The adoption paperwork is pushing through and will be final soon. Hearing Decklan reference him like that makes him proud. I’m happy for him.