Devil's Despair Box Set: Books 1-3 (71 page)

“We’re going,” Lacey said to me, standing in the door with a look that would’ve scared me before the baby.

“I know.”

“Then . . . what are we waiting for?” she had asked in the same tone.

“I’m saying goodbye.”

“Hayden, you’ve said goodbye like seven times.” Sarah’s condescending words weren’t helping.

“How many times can you smell a baby?” Trav’s weren’t either.

“Fine. Let’s go. Whatever.” Leaning down, I kissed Liv again and inhaled her lavender scent for the sixth time,
thank you, Travis,
before giving her over to Sarah.

Travis, still not letting me off the hook, said to the open room, “Jesus, Hayden. It’s a date. Go and do whatever people who date do.”

“Fuck off.”

“You’re a lucky, lucky girl, Lace,” Sarah tells my woman as she cradles my daughter tightly in her arms.

“This is why I’m still single,” Trav spouted back to Sarah as I grabbed my wallet and headed for the door.

Ace, Rae, Lacey, and I had dinner at a Mexican place downtown then went for drinks at Royal’s pub. It wasn’t fun, but it was fine. More than once, I caught Lacey texting Sarah and found pictures on her phone of Travis sleeping on the couch with a sleeping Olivia laying on top of him. As cute as Rae and Lacey found that to be, I wanted to go home.

So we did.

That night, I got a kiss goodnight and it was all I needed. Lacey let me bring Liv to our bed and we talked and watched her sleep for hours before finally putting her back in her crib.

This brings us to now, which is another planned date. This was all Lacey’s plan, though, and I’ve been kept in the dark. My friends have avoided my questions in regards to where we’re all going. I’ve heard bits and pieces of the production in getting sitters ready and clothes purchased, but I’ve been shunned from getting any actual information from any of them.

However, if there’s a secret to be kept, I know exactly who to ask to share it.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Lacey

“HE KNOWS SOMETHING’S up.” I slam the magazine I was trying to focus on against the table to catch Trav’s attention. He’s hiding something.

“He doesn’t know shit,” he tells me again. “I look ridiculous.” He changes the subject to avoid my continuous drilling. “You get that, right?”

Travis is wearing exactly what I laid out for him this morning: blue jeans, a button-down light polo shirt, and black flip-flops. “I think you look stunning.”

“I don’t wear thongs,” he says. “They hurt my fuckin’ toes.”

I look down at his feet; he does look weird wearing them. I can’t remember ever seeing his toes. To be honest, they need work. “God, you’re a baby! And by the way, no one calls them thongs. At least not men. Flip-flops is what they are.”

“What the fuck ever. This is ridiculous.”

Travis is dressed for Hayden’s and my fourth date. The group is all in on the surprise and they’ve all been sworn to secrecy. They each promised, one after the other, not to say a word to Hayden and agreed they’d do exactly as I asked because they understood how much this was going to mean to him. Travis and Ace have been the biggest pains in the ass I’ve ever dealt with, and I’m a new mother who gets spit up on daily by my small baby so this is saying a lot.

“I need this to be perfect, Travis. I wouldn’t put you through any undue hardship like offending flip-flops or a pressed shirt if it weren’t important to Hayden and me.”

“Got it. Leave me alone now. I’ve done everything you’ve asked.”

God, he’s cranky.

Hayden and Liv are perfect together. He’s great with her and is on constant watch with every move she makes. Hayden and I decided that I should breastfeed her, but Hayden’s been insistent I pump so he can feed her as often as I do. My boobs ache and will never look the same as they did before I was pregnant, but I’m young and Hayden tells me it doesn’t matter because it’s a gift I’m giving his child.

His
child.

He sucks up most of her time when she’s awake, so by the time I get my hands on her, she’s exhausted and usually screaming. It’s crap, but seeing Hayden so happy with Liv is worth it.

Dr. Ames smiled at me when I told her I’m not waiting any longer to have sex. She knows the date and that tonight’s the
big
night. Her reply was professional enough, and I appreciated her concerned gesture, but stopped listening to her words.

“I’ve seen Hayden and the way he looks at you, Lacey. Just go easy if you’re purposely going against medical advice. You’re young and your body is healing, but be careful,” she had told me with a wink. She also told me not fifteen minutes after that she appreciated me bringing Hayden to some of my follow-up appointments.

Apparently, Dr. Ames isn’t immune to Hayden either. No one is.

“Hey.” I hear Rae come in the front door without knocking.

“Oh, Raegan, you look so cute!” I tell her. She’s dressed in the outfit I’ve asked her to put together, as well. Even her toes are manicured and painted a deep shade of red.

Perfect.

“Thanks. Where’s Trav? Ace sent me to pick him up. He’s dropping Hayden at your place in a few minutes and said to get your ass there so he can change after this date is over.”

“Crabass is in his room. Is everyone else ready to go?” I ask, hoping the others are more easily conforming to my plans than my brother and Ace are.

“All except Sarah. She’ll be there, but it may be right on time.”

“She’s with Bean?”

“Yeah. They’re playing cards today then they’re picking out nail polish and adding it to their calendar.”

“What?”

“Long story. It’s what they do. A color a week. Bean enjoys the time with Sarah and Sarah enjoys everything pink and red so it works out.”

“I see.”

“Bean’s so tired but she’s giving all her time to Sarah. She told me she wants me to find something else for her to do.”

“Bean’s all Sarah has to do. Maybe Trav can find something for her.”

Travis comes in the front room without looking up. He’s fidgeting with his shirt, wrinkling it with every button he’s messing with. “What is Trav doing for you now?”

“Sarah,” Rae says.

Travis’s eyes find Raegan and they light up in her presence but it ends with a scowl when he looks her up and down. “Ace let you wear that out of the house?”

She looks down at the man’s light-blue, oversized dress shirt, which hangs above her knees and the black belt hugging her waist. “He hasn’t seen me.”

“That answers that,” Travis says with a mild grunt of disapproval.

“I’m wearing the same thing. You’ve said nothing.”

“You just had a baby and Hayden likes you to wear shit like that.”

“Can we go? If I need to talk to Ace about what I’m wearing, I’d like to do it before their date.”

“Yes,” Travis answers. “The sooner I’m out of this fuckin’ costume, the better. This is ridiculous.”
Ridiculous,
he says for the third time.

If he only knew how
ridiculous
he looked in that cowboy costume . . .

* * *

“Not one time did you ever say I’d have to wear what you asked for this date. If that had been the case, you would’ve worn your red lace thong for mine.” Hayden cares for his clothes as much as Travis does.

“You memorized my underwear? That’s weird.”

“I memorized what you look like in your underwear; there’s a difference.”

“You’re odd.”

“I’m sexually deprived, you mean. How much longer ’til we can fuck again?”

“Oh, the romance,” I sigh, looking to the road ahead.

He thinks fast, as he usually does, his sigh matching mine. “Oh, the lost climax.”

“Hayden, do you want to make me happy?” I ask him as I lean over to straighten the cuff of his dark-blue dress shirt.

“You know I do, but this is a little much.”

“It’s my date, remember.”

Catching my hand in his, he draws my attention from the road to those ice-blue eyes that still—after all this time—scream sex. “Fourteen fucking days,” he whispers. “I have fourteen days to wait for you to finish healing, Lace. I’ll be ready once the doc says we’re clear to fuck.”

“Got it.” I hit his chest with my hands, pulling him from his crass words I secretly long to hear. “Now please, be quiet the rest of the way. You’re distracting me.”

“Fourteen fucking days,” he mumbles, looking out his window. “Fourteen looooong motherfucking days.”

Once we arrive at the beach house, I see Ace is the only one of our friends who disregarded anything I said. His damn bike is parked in the driveway when we pull up. They weren’t supposed to park here; they were supposed to park down the street or carpool.

“You’re taking me on a date to my dad’s beach house?” he asks, pointing to Ace’s bike. “And you invited Ace?”

“Long story. We’ll just be a minute.”

Before I’m able to get out of the car, Hayden grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. “I’m not a barbarian like Ace is, but you’re showing a fuck of a lot of skin in that dress shirt. Not sure how I feel about that.”

“In fourteen days, I’ll wear it again. You can unbutton it with your mouth, and we’ll see how you
feel
about it then.”

He smiles and at the same time looks at me with narrowed eyes. “That was mean. If I’m going to make it that long without being inside you, then your attempts of seducing need to stop. I’m serious. I haven’t gone this long without sex since I was a teenager.”

“Oh, good grief, Hayden. Come on. Time’s ticking.”

Once we make it inside, I look to Hayden as he scans the room looking for Ace. He won’t find him here and if his searching keeps him focused, I’ll use it to my advantage. Everything in the house looks normal, just as I had asked.

Grabbing Hayden’s hand, I walk him downstairs and out onto the beach where everyone, including Pastor Ross wearing his suit, is waiting for us.

Hayden’s dad stands proudly by the door, being the first to greet us. Ace and Travis are standing near the makeshift altar with Rae and Marlee at the other side.

I cast an evil look to Ace when I notice he’s put on his black motorcycle boots rather than the black flip-flops I bought him. Rae catches me staring and rolls her eyes in response to what I’ve found.

Travis is watching carefully from a distance for Hayden’s response.

Too carefully.

“You knew!” I accuse. Hayden knew this was his wedding day long before coming here; I can sense it. “How did you know?”

“Lace.” He tries to calm me.

“No, do
not
‘Lace’ me! I want to know. How did you already know all of this? Tell me who told you.”

Rae leaves the edge of the beach and rushes to me in a panic. Ace follows behind her and then Trav and Marlee file in, as well. Toby remains seated in the folding chair, holding their daughter, Jordan, but looking back at the commotion with an uneasy stare. Sarah remains at his side holding Liv.

“Lace,” Rae starts. “Remember my surprise party?”

“Yeah, the one that wasn’t a surprise, you mean,” I answer with confusion.

“Decklan,” Ace says, standing behind Rae.

Rae continues to explain. “You can’t say things that aren’t meant to be repeated in front of him. He asked Hayden how he was going to like being a groom.”

My eyes dart to a sheepish Hayden. There’s more. He wouldn’t have caught on the way he did with just that general question. “You bullied a six-year-old, didn’t you?”

“No?” He gives his answer through a question as though I’ve struck him with my words. “He just kept talking.”

“You bullied a secret out of a little boy, Hayden Flynn.”

Just as I’m about to lose my temper and start cursing, Pastor Ross comes toward us. “Are we having a wedding today?”

“Yes,” Rae and I answer in sync, but I add, “We’re just getting out all the confessions prior to the service. Give us a minute.”

“Lacey,” Hayden’s dad interrupts. “I don’t think it matters whether Hayden knew about it or not; I think he’s as happy as you wanted him to be today.”

“Right,” I answer, looking to the proudly smiling father of my child. Hayden’s face, although not registering surprise as I had wanted, still showcases his happiness.

“You’re right. I’m over-reacting.”

As Brian pushes at my back, we all walk to where the
surprise
wedding was set to take place. “Let’s go then.”

* * *

I had written my own vows, and since I was never one for words, it took me a long time to come up with the right ones I felt captured the essence of our relationship up to now. I spoke to Hayden about friendship and how I appreciated what he was to all of us, including his family and friends, not just me. I talked to him about where we started and how even then he made me come alive in ways I couldn’t ever have imagined. Once I noticed him becoming emotional, I added my final vow to always remain awkward and weird.

Hayden,
considering he had already known this was happening,
had his vows in mind as well, and when Pastor Ross asked him if he had anything to say, Hayden smiled deeply and winked at me with ease. His bright blue eyes were trained on mine as he told me a story about a man who lived his life in the shadows of others and how he hadn’t realized the pictures in his life were empty before, but now memory by memory, they are being filled. He told me the day he and I became ‘exclusive’ was when his life had truly started and the day I brought his daughter into this world safely, he had found his life’s purpose. He ended his vow promising our marriage would only be what we made it and that it was important to him that we remain just as crazy and ridiculous as the day we met.

After the vows and the rings, Bean told me to find in her house, were exchanged, Hayden reached in and kissed me sweetly. Almost a year ago, when we met, our first kiss was anything but sweet. He was a different man then, and I was a different woman. But we’re still the same people to each other, and that’s all that matters.

“I love you, Lacey,” he said to me, pulling back and fixing a strand of hair that had fallen from my ponytail. “So much.”

“I love you, Hayden. So much.”

“You’re my wife,” he whispered as if the others weren’t still in witness.

“I am. Are you happy?”