Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (39 page)

Although early 20th Century movie serials such as
The Perils of Pauline
, in which the heroine frequently found herself tied to the inevitable railroad tracks, may have incited some fantasies, bondage as an erotic art was largely fostered in this century by the works of two men, Irving Klaw and John William Koutts, a.k.a. John Willie. Klaw photographed women tied in various positions to various pieces of furniture in various stages of dress and undress (though never nude). His most famous model, Betty Page, has been likened to an American icon and remains a model for contemporary bondage styles. Though Miss Page retired from modeling in mid-career and became a born-again Christian, her pin-up persona has made her a cult figure to new generations of bondage fans, many of whom are particularly inspired by photos that depict her as sexually dominant. Images of Miss Page are now widely disseminated on-line and marketed in calendars, videos, and books. Willie was as well known for his cartoons of Sweet Gwendoline as for his photographs: Gwendoline’s misfortunes generally resulted in bondage in some helpless and humiliating pose.

Alex Comfort theorized that bondage “seems to owe its current popularity to the fact that the available pornography of a whole generation of American men was produced by [these] two preoccupied bondage enthusiasts.”
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With an eye to prevailing censorship standards, Klaw and Willie limited themselves to depictions of bondage and discipline alone.

Although all bondage enthusiasts can be said to be D&Sers in that the bound party is necessarily submissive (if only physically and temporarily) to his partner, there are two groups within the world of bondage: D&Sers who
enjoy bondage and bondage enthusiasts who do not engage in any other D&S activities.

Harmony Communications, Inc., a California-based company which specializes in bondage erotica, has popularized the concept of
love bondage
. This friendly fantasy play usually involves very comfortable restraint whose main object is typically to heighten erotic tension, usually as foreplay to lovemaking.

Adherents of the Harmony philosophy rarely if ever consider themselves S/Mers; indeed, some are vehemently opposed to directly sadomasochistic activities such as whipping, spanking, or other intense stimuli. Instead, a satisfying bondage session may be limited to sensuously teasing sensations (gentle pinches or love bites, light tickling, sexual arousal).

For sadomasochists, bondage is often one component of erotic play, although many do seek bondage-only experiences. During bondage, intense stimuli may be delivered to (or normal sensation withheld from) the bound form; the bondage itself may be uncomfortable. And the power relationship that fuels the bondage extends to other activities (or into a lifestyle).

Proponents of love bondage are extremely concerned about making a distinction between the loving, gentle type of play they perceive as their
ultimate pleasure and the play they perceive as sadomasochistic. (Not unlike spankers, as discussed in the following chapter.) In fact, the two groups have so much in common that when it comes to a discussion of styles, techniques, and emotional rewards, one is hard-pressed to ascertain their true differences. Since, however, D&S is as much a matter of intention as of implementation, it is fair to say that the two groups have fundamentally different approaches. Each group is a bit baffled by, and often a bit critical of, the other.

All bondage scenarios are variations on the theme of captivity. A very high percentage of our interviewees believes that these interests began in the games of their childhoods, such as cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, or Houdini escapes.

The diversity of adult captivity fantasies should not be underestimated: One man may fantasize that he has been kidnapped by a sexually frustrated woman who “has her way” with him, while the next prefers steel shackles and imagines himself to be a prisoner. Partners’ responses to restraints are similarly diverse. Some enjoy struggling, whether to pretend that they are attempting escape, to test the security of their bonds, or to test the patience of their dominants.

A significant number of enthusiasts practice self-bondage. They devise often-iconoclastic methods of tying themselves up in private, often because they do not feel comfortable in divulging their interest to others or fear that their partners would disapprove. Others simply prefer the singular thrill of autoeroticism.

Enthusiasts love to be bound for many reasons, but perhaps the great thrill of bondage rests on a fundamental enigma: Erotic bondage induces psychic liberation.

Being physically bound in a mutually consensual context gives bondage aficionados permission to experience their sexuality freely—a permission that they may not otherwise be able to give themselves because of upbringing or sexual mores. While bound they cannot control the erotic stimulation that they receive, and, perhaps just as important, they cannot control or conceal the arousal that they feel.

Bondage is, in this respect, an antidote to sexual repression: When the physical restraints are in place, the mental restraints are lifted.

The period of bondage is a time when responsibilities are removed—foremost among them the responsibility for sexual response. The submissive’s responses are stirred and manipulated at the binder’s whim (although dominants generally confine play to stimuli they believe to be exciting for their partners). The bound partner is also relieved of larger obligations; thoughts about housework, career, and finances dissolve.

Many people enjoy bondage because the physical immobilization is psychologically relaxing.

Others simply enjoy having comfortable restrictions imposed on their bodies.

During bondage the body may be fixed in a position it would otherwise be difficult to impossible for any but Eastern yogis to hold. The effect of this forced physical inertia is comparable to the focus and relaxation of doing Zen yoga.

Changing the body’s relationship to gravity is another component of bondage. This is more directly addressed during suspension bondage, the practice of hoisting a partner so that most of his or her weight is off the ground. Suspension is a particularly risky form of bondage play which can result in serious injury.

Suspension bondage elicits in the bindee a primal helplessness. Not only is the body deprived of balance, but its relationship to gravity is altered as it floats aloft, evoking the weightlessness of the womb. Safely cradled by secure bonds, floating—and, in some cases with the eyes, ears, and other sensory organs blocked—the person may embark on a profound adventure into tranquility and body focus. Such focus is a key component of any successful bondage experience.

Since erotic tension may be intensified during the bondage, sexual gratification is often an ultimate goal.

Sexual release, however, is less important to the person for whom bondage itself is a chief source of erotic pleasure, and for many the spiritual
aspect of bondage is as important as the erotic. When the bondage assumes hypnotic intensity, the bound partner may feel as if he is making a deeply private journey.

Sensory deprivation (the use of gags, blindfolds, earplugs, and other sensory blocks) in particular helps to isolate the bound person from mundane realities.

For some people the inherent risks of bondage and the unpredictability of the outcome seem to add to its allure.

Humiliating or embarrassing bondage is another compelling feature for some enthusiasts.

The pleasure in humiliating bondage may be related to freedom from sexual repression. In humiliating bondage, body taboos are shattered: The helplessly bound partner has no choice but to expose intensely private zones that he would otherwise be socially obligated to conceal. D&Sers may be particularly inclined to engage in erotic coercion to place the submissive in some embarrassing pose in order to heighten the bondage’s sexual charge.

Bondage has been elevated to an art among practitioners and for this reason teems with technical details—proper knots, secure and snug equipment, and safety devices to ensure that a partner can be quickly released in case he experiences panic or severe discomfort. Safe, pleasurable bondage is an act of love and trust. For many couples the knowledge that the dominant will not violate the trust of the person in bonds, that the submissive’s physical
and emotional well-being is a first priority, and that helplessness can be experienced with the explicit intent of mutual pleasure is for them the highest and most liberating affirmation of romantic love.