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Authors: Jessie Sholl

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BOOK: Dirty Secret
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READING GROUP ENHANCERS

1. As a group, watch some of the popular television shows that focus on hoarding. Then, re-read the generally accepted definition of hoarding found on page 21. Discuss: In what ways do you think hoarding is depicted accurately in pop culture? In which ways to do you feel it is falsified, or sensationalized?

2. Split your discussion group into two sections. Have one section make a timeline of the major turning points in Jessie's life and the other make a timeline of the major turning points in Helen's. After both timelines are completed, look for the major similarities and differences between the two. Then, discuss: Did the timelines add to your understanding of Jessie and Helen's relationship? Of Helen's disorder? If so, how?

3. If you're feeling particularly brave, do a Google search for “scabies,” like Jessie did. Warning: The results are not pretty. However, they may add to your understanding of the family's bout with the disease.

4. On page 239, Jessie offers a beautiful description of the village where she and David lived outside Rome. Try to find more information about and pictures of other villages that surround the city of Rome. If you were to create an “Italian self,” like Jessie does on the plane, what would your “Italian self” be like?

5. To learn more about author Jessie Sholl and read her blog, visit her website at www.jessie-sholl.com.

AUTHOR QUESTIONS

Q: In her review of
Dirty Secret
, author Stephanie Elizondo Griest applauds you for your “ceaseless courage.” Where did you find the courage to begin writing such a personal book? Did the project become emotionally overwhelming at any point?

A: First of all, I don't feel particularly brave, and I'm very flattered by the idea that I had ceaseless courage. I wish it were true! The book began—in my head, anyway—about six or seven years ago; one day I happened to tell my husband about how I used to stare out the windows of my elementary school when I was ten and gaze back and forth between my mother's house and my dad and my stepmom's, and about the very different visceral reactions I had when I looked at each house. It was just a short anecdote, but as soon as I was done he said, “You know you need to write about this, right?” which of course I laughed off. But it ended up being the first scene I wrote for
Dirty Secret
.

It wasn't until I started writing health articles that I began to really think seriously about working on a book about hoarding. Especially after I joined the Children of Hoarders support group, because the shame and embarrassment that we all carry/carried around is just so ridiculous and unnecessary. Also, what helped while I wrote
Dirty Secret
was to push aside the thought that anyone was ever going to read it. Anytime I've written about myself I do that. I find it freeing and extremely helpful.

In terms of the project becoming emotionally overwhelming, it did, but only after I turned it in to my editor. The next day a serious exhaustion hit me and all I wanted to do was sleep for weeks.

Q: Were you concerned at all about how your mom would react to the book?

A: I wasn't concerned because I asked her permission before I wrote a word of it—if she'd objected at all, I wouldn't have
written it. Thankfully, she was absolutely supportive of the idea. She read most of the book before it was published and loved it.

Q:
Dirty Secret
is the first memoir to be written by the child of a compulsive hoarder. How do you feel about breaking into uncharted territory?

A: I'm proud to be the first person to write a memoir about it, but I don't feel particularly groundbreaking—I'm sure that if I hadn't done it, someone else would have sooner rather than later. I'm just happy to get people talking about how hoarding affects families, and I'll be thrilled if my book allows others to feel freer about exposing their secrets.

Q: In recent years, the concept of “hoarding” has gone mainstream; people have familiarized themselves with the term through popular television shows like
Hoarders, Clean House
, and
Clean Sweep
. What are your feelings about the presence of compulsive hoarding in national media and pop culture? Do you think it is accurately depicted?

A: Overall, I think the television shows about hoarding are a good thing. Occasionally they can feel exploitative, but I like the fact that now when I say “my mother is a compulsive hoarder,” almost everyone understands what I'm talking about. Before
Dirty Secret
was published and when the television shows were just beginning, I'd have people who didn't know what hoarding was—they'd never heard of it. After a while of me trying to explain they'd say something like, “Oh, right, a crazy cat lady!” Now people are beginning to understand that hoarding is a mental illness, just like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

In general, I think the shows accurately depict hoarded homes, although it's important to remember that they usually show the most egregious cases. Hoarding itself is a difficult disorder to
accurately depict in a one-hour show because, in my opinion, it's very rare to find a person who is
just
a hoarder. There are so many mental illnesses that go along with it—and each individual is unique in their afflictions and levels of the afflictions—so to really delve into the psychology of each hoarder on the show would require a mini-series at the least.

Q: At the end of the book, you mention that other people reacted positively when you told them about your mother's disorder; many of them said they had a personal connection to hoarding as well. Did this surprise you?

A: This absolutely shocked me. I would say that the most rewarding part of writing the book so far has been those moments when someone tells me about their mother, brother, cousin being a hoarder; every time I hear it I feel less freakish, and it seems the person does as well. I also really appreciate the fact that no one has ever judged me harshly for being the daughter of a hoarder. No one. Maybe that expression is true: all our secrets are the same. I only wish I'd known it earlier, because I spent way too long being ashamed of something that didn't warrant it.

Q: On page 225, you describe your feelings of hesitation as you considered joining the Children of Hoarders online support group. What advice would you give to someone who was experiencing similar hesitations?

A: I would say that I understand the hesitation, but to go for it. You can always join under a pseudonym and lurk until you feel comfortable posting. There's so much to learn and it's just an incredible feeling to find people who understand
exactly
how you feel. It changed everything for me.

Q: Did you have to do a lot of research for this book, or did most of your knowledge of the disorder come from years of having been in such close proximity to it?

A: I did a lot of research for the book. I read everything I could get my hands on: books, academic articles and studies, interviews with experts; I also interviewed one of the most renowned specialists in the field. I enjoy the research process, so it didn't feel like work at all. I think having been in such close proximity to hoarding helped in terms of recognizing parts of it—for example, the information-processing deficits that most hoarders have—but otherwise, before I began the writing and the research I really didn't know much more about the disorder itself than, say, a viewer of
Hoarders
or
Hoarding: Buried Alive
.

Q: You've written numerous articles about health-related issues. Do you find that your research process is different for an article about an issue that hasn't affected you personally? Similarly, which did you find easier to write—a work you could distance yourself from or one that was so inevitably tied to your own life like
Dirty Secret
?

A: That's a good question. The process of writing
Dirty Secret
compared to an article (besides the obvious fact that my health articles are not book-length), was different in that I had to think of it in terms of scenes, with information about hoarding worked in throughout. I started out as a fiction writer, so I'm used to thinking in terms of arc and story, and I think (I hope!) that helped in terms of the narrative structure. And being part of the story, rather than writing as an outsider looking at a disease I'd never encountered, probably made it a little easier overall. But in terms of the research, it was pretty much the same: search for articles and studies, contact experts for interviews, hope they'll get back to you, and so on.

Q: Could you recommend some books or websites for people who want to learn more about compulsive hoarding?

A: I highly recommend a fascinating documentary about a daughter dealing with her mother's hoarding called
My Mother's Garden,
by Cynthia Lester. There's also a wonderful young adult novel called
Dirty Little Secrets
by Cynthia Omololu—the hoarding details are spot-on, plus it's suspenseful and well written. The book
Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things
by Drs. Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee uses case studies to explain hoarding in easily understandable terms.

As for websites, I would recommend starting with Children of Hoarders (www.childrenofhoarders.com). Even if you aren't the child of a hoarder you can look at the main page where they have an extremely thorough list of links and lots of information that's fitting, no matter where you fall on the spectrum—a child of a hoarder, a sibling, or maybe someone who's just curious about it and wants to know more. If you are the child of a hoarder I also strongly encourage you to look at websites for adult children of alcoholics. In terms of aftereffects, the overlap between children of hoarders and children of alcoholics is huge.

Q: What project are you currently working on?

A: I've just begun working on a literary thriller-type novel about two sisters. I'm also really fascinated by phobias—their history and potential cures—and hope to write about them someday.

BOOK: Dirty Secret
10.45Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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