Diva Diaries (25 page)
Authors: Janine A. Morris
50
1-800-Caught
C
hrasey called it “having a rejuvenation weekend.” Cleaning, catching up with her to-do list, paying bills, etc. It had been a month since Keith had been gone, and she was just about done with the adjustment phase. She wasn't content with the situation, but it wasn't as hard as it had been. The guilt had subsided some, and she was dealing with life as it came her way.
hrasey called it “having a rejuvenation weekend.” Cleaning, catching up with her to-do list, paying bills, etc. It had been a month since Keith had been gone, and she was just about done with the adjustment phase. She wasn't content with the situation, but it wasn't as hard as it had been. The guilt had subsided some, and she was dealing with life as it came her way.
She had lost a lot of weight, and she was looking damn good. She didn't know if it was the stress or if it was wanting to make sure the next time Keith saw her, he would like what he saw. She had been really focused on her diet, and had been working out like two or three times a week. She was feeling good about herself and she was actually feeling confident that Keith would be home. She had spoken to his mother, who told her that she spoke to him and he said he would be coming home.
She sat down and started writing checks to pay the bills for the month. The phone bill was unusually high, but it had been a while since she paid it, so she wasn't sureâKeith usually paid it. So she decided to look it over to see why it seemed high. After looking at it for a few moments, she noticed there was this one number listed on the bill quite frequently. She didn't know the number, so she was curious as to who this was. She called the number and the answering machine picked up. On the voice mail it said, “Hello you just reached Lourdesâplease leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.”
Chrasey didn't know of anyone by the name of Lourdes. She looked at the phone bill and it said Brooklyn, NY. She couldn't think of anybody in Brooklyn that she or Keith would know of.
She started to look back at previous months' bills, and every bill she could find had the same number planted all over it. Outgoing calls at all times of the night, all days of the week. There were some calls at 3:45 in the morning that lasted an hour. Chrasey knew at that point. She didn't even have to put two and two together to figure this one outâjust two by itself was enough.
There was also a mobile number that was on there frequently as well. She called that one too. It was the same outgoing message. She was tempted to leave a message but she decided against it and hung up. She needed time to think before she made a hasty move. She wanted to call Keith up and ask him, but she wanted to talk to this woman first so he would be caught off guard.
She called up Jordan and Chrasey and told them. They asked how she could know it's not her husband that he is calling.
Chrasey's response was, “First of all, unless he is gay, why would he be talking to a man at 4:00 in the morning all that time? Secondly, her voice mail would have had her husband included on the outgoing message.”
They eventually gave up their devil's advocate role and just admitted that this didn't look right.
“The nerve of him to have a fit over Trevor, and he was doing his thing all along,” Chrasey said.
“Well, Chrasey, this explains a lot. You did know it in your heartâthat's why you started dealing with Trevor to begin with,” Dakota said.
“Yeah, you just lost sight of that with your guilt. Now you find out the truth. He just found out before you did,” Jordan said.
“Yeah, well, I just want to see what he has to say for himself,” Chrasey replied.
For some reason Chrasey wasn't as emotional as usual. She didn't know if it was because she knew it all along or because she had been doing the same thing. Her thoughts were just spinning at a rapid pace. Her curiosity started to take overâshe had a hundred questions. Who was she? How long? What has it been like? So that's where he has been this past month.
While she spoke to Chrasey and Jordan on three-way, she heard a beep on her phone. She looked in the phone and it said “Lourdes McDougal” in the Caller ID.
“Guys, that's her!” Chrasey said frantically.
“Who?” Jordan and Dakota asked.
“The girl, Lourdes. She is calling me back.”
“You gonna get it?” Jordan asked.
“Yeah, hold on,” Chrasey said. She took a deep breath and clicked over. “Hello,” she said.
“Hello, did somebody call Lourdes from this number?”
“Yes, I found your number on my phone bill and I was trying to find out who the number belonged to.”
“Who is this?” she asked.
“My name is Chrasey.”
She paused. “I don't know a Chrasey,” she replied.
“Do you know a Keith?” she asked.
She fell silent. Chrasey also didn't say a word. “Yeah, we used to work together.”
“Oh, OK. That's my husband. Can you tell me what the nature of your relationship with him is?”
All of a sudden, she asked Chrasey to hold on. Chrasey knew that she wasn't coming back to the phone, or she was calling Keith.
51
Up-Close and Personal
S
he never came back to the phone, just as Chrasey thought. She hung up after a few minutes and tried Keith herselfâthere was no answer. She called three times, then called his mother's house and still didn't get him. She even called Lourdes back later in the evening, and she didn't answer. Chrasey barely slept that night, wondering if he was staying with her. She was sure Lourdes would tell him Chrasey called, and she was upset that he hadn't called to defend himself.
he never came back to the phone, just as Chrasey thought. She hung up after a few minutes and tried Keith herselfâthere was no answer. She called three times, then called his mother's house and still didn't get him. She even called Lourdes back later in the evening, and she didn't answer. Chrasey barely slept that night, wondering if he was staying with her. She was sure Lourdes would tell him Chrasey called, and she was upset that he hadn't called to defend himself.
It was Monday morning and Chrasey had already made up her mind that since he wasn't taking her calls, she would be stopping by his job. She dropped the kids off at school as usual and headed in to the city. She got to his job, parked in a parking garage, and went to the visitor's desk and signed in. Once she reached his floor, she walked past all the offices and secretaries that were on the way to his office. It was still early in the morning, and she could tell people questioned who she was or what she was doing there. A co-worker or two whom she had met recognized her and their faces lit up with shock. She didn't even say hello, she just kept walking. She reached his office on the back wall, and he was sitting in there with someone. She stood there and gave him a look, giving him fair warning to clear his office before he got embarrassed. He asked his guest to excuse him.
As soon as the guest passed by her, she walked up closer to Keith's desk and said to him, “You don't return your phone calls?”
“My cell phone is brokenâI have to take it to get fixed,” he said as he got up to close the door. He knew this had potential to be ugly.
“Really. Did you call Lourdes to let her know that so she could get in touch with you? “
“Chrasey ...” he said in a tone that sounded like he was about to make excuses or minimize his involvement with her. She didn't even want to hear it. She didn't come all the way up here to be foolishâshe knew what was what. She went into her bag and pulled out the phone bills she had gotten her number off of and threw them toward him. They weren't heavy enough to hit him, so they just fluttered throughout his office. Papers going every which way, pages with Lourdes's name and phone number everywhere, on her goddamn house phone bill. Why couldn't he use his cell phoneâdid he have to be so sloppy? Did he have to be so sloppy not to even care? She could have picked up the house phone just like he did that night with Trevor.
Afraid her voice would carry through his door, he said “Chrasey, can we address this at home later, not here at my job?”
“Why not? They must know all about it. She said she knows you from here. Maybe I should ask one of them since neither you or her wants to tell me.”
“Chrasey, she is just a friend of mine. I guess something like Trevor.”
“Don't even try it. She is the reason I befriended Trevor. These bills go back over a year, and I know if I have the phone company send me copies from before that, it was even longer. This was why you were acting like that, treating me like that, and you wonder where Trevor came from.”
Her eyes had begun to tear up. She felt a knot in her throat, feeling a real emotional scene coming on. She tried to regain her composure. She didn't come here to be weak and emotionalâshe came to let his ass know he wasn't fooling anybody with his lies.
“Don't even try to blame me for your infidelity,” he said.
“Keith, I don't have to blame you. You know in your heart what you were doing to me. Lourdes must have been getting all the attention from my husband.” He didn't say anything, he just looked at her. She could tell in his eyes he didn't want her to know. Even with what she did, she could tell he knew in his heart that he was the cause for the turmoil in their marriage.
“Can you at least have the decency to tell me the truth?” Chrasey said. He looked at her, and when he couldn't look her in the eyes anymore, he dropped his head. When he looked back at her, she knew that he was going to tell her, and she wasn't going to like it. He started his sentence, and then put his head back down so he didn't have to look at her.
“Lourdes was a co-worker of mineâwe worked on a lot of projects together. After a few late nights together, some things just led to other things. It wasn't planned, I swear.”
She just stood there, listening. She was numb inside, and although she knew this, it was still shocking to her that she was hearing what she was hearing.
“It happened, like, two or three times, and we said that we weren't going to continue. She had just got divorced, and I didn't want to risk our marriage. “
“But what?”
“It only happened, like, two or three times.”
“
What
happened?”
What
happened?”
He looked at her, to see if she was really unaware of what he was speaking of or she just wanted to hear him say it.
“We slept together two or three times.”
“Keith, you know how many times you fucked her.”
“I think it was three timesâI can't remember for sure.”
“So ...”
“So we said we wouldn't deal with each other any longer, but it was too late.”
“Why was it too late?” she said, pissed off.
All she could think was he was about to tell her he fell in love with this woman. They couldn't be apart, and he wants a divorce so he could be with her.
“Because she was pregnant ... she will be one year old next month,” he said.
52
Do Not Break Glass
J
ordan hadn't seen or heard from Omar in over two weeks. She called him several times, but he wouldn't return her calls. She had many nights where she was just flat-out pissed off that he would treat her this way, but other nights she was weak and all she wanted was her life back.
ordan hadn't seen or heard from Omar in over two weeks. She called him several times, but he wouldn't return her calls. She had many nights where she was just flat-out pissed off that he would treat her this way, but other nights she was weak and all she wanted was her life back.
The one time he took her call over two weeks ago, they had a brief conversation and it didn't seem like he had come to his senses yet.
When she called, she tried to tell him that this was rough on her and Jason, and she really wanted him to come back home. She had put her pride aside to try to talk sense into him, up until his cocky attitude pissed her off.
“You will be just fine. You have your clients and your friends.”
She just giggled, a sarcastic, I-can't-believe-this-shit giggle.
“You know what, Omar? I will be. They've been all I've had for quite some time anyway. So you go ahead and do what you have to do ... but you know what? You're a coward. You're leaving your home, your wife, and your son over some bullshit. If you're trying to get attention, this is childish. We are a family.”
He could hear that she was fed up. She was frustrated, she was hurt, she was annoyed, and she was helpless. It didn't make a difference, though.
“Don't use that family lineâyour clients and your friends are your family. Jason and I are just part of your perfect picture. You don't need usâyou just need us for your image.”
Somewhere around that point, she hung up on him.
So there she was, sitting in her office wondering how she had gotten through the past two weeks. She was kind of daydreaming, just letting her mind review the events of the past few months. She still didn't think it had sunk in yetâthe reality of what this could mean.
She happened to look out her office door and Jayon was standing there talking with one of his clients. It seemed that he was getting something from her assistant, so he was standing pretty much right in her direct view. He was fully engaged in the conversation, so he didn't notice her. As she just watched him talking and his mannerisms, she found herself slightly smiling to herself. He was just so handsome. His smile could light up the darkest room. The twinkle in his eye was simply mesmerizing. When she saw him laugh, he made her soul smile with him. She started to think about just how much Jayon meant to her. The person he was inside and outside always had a way of making her feel happy. She was proud to say he was her best friend, because if he was anything less, she'd feel like she was missing out on something. He was that person she wished she could be everything toâhis boss, his mechanic, his mother, his barber, his bank teller, his girl, just so she could be in his presence all the time. She knew it sounded a little extreme, but Jayon was a great guy. If she wasn't married, he would surely be her ideal husband.
She tried to get back to workâshe had spent enough time thinking and daydreaming. A few minutes had passed, and Jayon was still standing outside her door. Whenever she glanced to see if he had walked away, she would stop and stare for a few extra seconds. She couldn't help it, until she finally noticed what she was doing.
Shame on you, Jordan
, she thought to herself. He was standing there, looking all fine. He was wearing black suit pants with a black-and-gray button-down, and his black Prada shoes she got him for his birthday. She tried to ask herself,
What are you doing? That's Jayonâand you are married
.
Shame on you, Jordan
, she thought to herself. He was standing there, looking all fine. He was wearing black suit pants with a black-and-gray button-down, and his black Prada shoes she got him for his birthday. She tried to ask herself,
What are you doing? That's Jayonâand you are married
.
She had to get it together. She couldn't understand why she was even entertaining such thoughts. Then, a few seconds later, she was wondering how she'd lasted this long being platonic friends with him. Then Jayon happened to look her way and caught her looking at him. She immediately tried to turn away. Next thing she knew, he walked up to her door and said, “What you looking at?” in a playful tone.
“Nothing special,” she replied.
“Mmm-hmmâyou know you were checking out my sexy body,” he said.
“
Please
,” she said, trying to laugh it off.
Please
,” she said, trying to laugh it off.
Jayon knew that she found him attractive. Hell, she knew he found
her
attractive. They just always tried not to acknowledge it because they weren't on those terms. Still, from time to time they would have fun with each other about it.
her
attractive. They just always tried not to acknowledge it because they weren't on those terms. Still, from time to time they would have fun with each other about it.
“Lies. I saw it in your eyes.”
“Shut up, Jay, and get out of here,” she replied.
“You just want to watch my butt as I walk out.”
“No, I want to see the back of your head.”
They both laughed and he turned to walk away.
When he walked away, she was still laughing. Jordan actually enjoyed having a guy as a best friend, especially a guy like Jayon. Someone she could actually see herself with, in a different circumstance. All these years, it was a real challenge. It also proved to her that she could be faithful, even in the most tempting situations. She knew this because there were times when Jayon was looking that damn fine, and she was in the middle of hating the hell out of Omarâand even in those weakest moments, she never would've slept with Jayon. It was safe around himâsomebody she wouldn't have slept with versus somebody else that she might have done something with out of spite. So, in those times he was a good guy to have around. There were times he was more her husband than Omar. She was able to share more with him than she could with Omar sometimes. She could talk to him like her diary. With him, he didn't judge her, and she didn't have to worry. She was able to have a relationship with him without having to play games or worry about arguing and all that dumb relationship crap. He was the relief in her storm sometimes. He was like a brother to her in that sense. However, even though he was like a brother to her, she wasn't blind.
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