Don't Let Go: A Full Hearts Novella (7 page)

Alicia stood, placing the box in the bag and lifting the groceries to her dad. She gave him a meaningful, stern look and mouthed, “Stop it!” to him.

Her dad returned her glare and took the bag from her. He dug around in the box and mumbled, “Three? You ate three already?” as he went back in the house.

Ben stifled a nervous laugh as Alicia sat back down next to him.

“
Wanna go for a walk?” Ben asked. “I need to go pick up a gift for your dad.”

“A gift?
I have a feeling I know what you are going to get him.”

“I’m sure you do,” Ben said, standing up and holding his hand out to help her up.

Alicia called through the screen door, “Just going for a walk with Ben! Be back in a bit!”

They heard her dad yell, “I don’t think you are!” and her mom overruling him with an “Okay, honey!”

“Your dad doesn’t like me much,” Ben observed as they strolled down the street.

“Of course he doesn’t. He’s not exactly going to be a fan of any guy who breaks his little girl’s heart.” Alicia replied plainly.

“Sounds about right. I would hate me too if I were him,” he answered. Pausing for a moment, he let her words sink in. “Shit. I really broke your heart, hey?”

“Yeah, you pretty much shattered it,” Alicia confirmed, without looking up at him.

Ben’s stomach churned at her words. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Leesh. I know saying that won’t fix anything, but I want you to know it’s how I feel. And if you do give me a chance to make it up to you, I would do just about anything.”

“I might consider it.”

“Well, that’s really more than I could ask for. I’ll take it,” he said firmly, with a broad grin. “You still going out with that blond guy?”

“Mark?” Alicia stopped and turned to face him. “No, I broke it off with him. There was just something about him that didn’t sit right with me.”

“Oh yeah?” Ben asked as he internally hollered 
Hell yeah!
 He stood in front of her, trying his level best to play it cool. “Do you mind telling me what he did wrong? That kind of information would be real useful to a fellow.”

“It would, would it?” Alicia gave him a slight grin. “Well, I was raised to help others, so it would only be right if I told you.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Mark’s biggest flaw was that he wasn’t you.”

Ben’s smile at hearing this consumed his entire face. “Poor bastard,” he said in a low tone as he stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“I know. There was really nothing he could do about it,” Alicia responded, her voice thick with desire. She let her palms settle on his chest, feeling the surge of sexual energy pass back and forth between them.

Ben lowered his face to hers and let his mouth hover over hers for a moment. “He shouldn’t feel too bad about it, then. It was completely out of his control.”

Alicia closed her eyes and parted her lips as Ben closed the distance between their mouths. He pressed her body to his tightly as they kissed. It wasn’t a gentle, slow kiss, but it certainly wasn’t rough, either. It was the perfect blend of young passion, of long-lost love and of a beautiful future together. It was the kiss that told her that she was the only one who would ever have his heart.

He pulled back from her for a moment and pressed his forehead to hers. “I finally know how the story ends.”

Alicia gave him a confused look but before she could ask anything, his mouth crushed over hers again.

Ben arrived at Ian’s large house around nine in the evening. He parked the rental car on the large circular driveway and took a deep breath before getting out. This was his first time seeing his friend’s enormous home and something about its vastness made it seem all the more empty now. Ringing the bell repeatedly, then knocking loudly, Ben waited patiently for an answer. When none came, he realized how dark the house was. He decided to walk around to the backyard, hoping to find Ian there. Luckily, the wrought-iron gate at the side of the house was unlocked, so Ben made his way through the darkness to the back patio.

A single light above the sink in the kitchen spilled out the window and lit a tiny portion of the patio. Ben’s eyes, now adjusted to the darkness, took in the outline of the back of his friend’s head as it wavered slightly from its position in a lounge chair facing the pool. He watched as Ian took a long drag on the bottle of Johnnie Walker that he held in his right hand.

Not wanting to startle Ian, Ben cleared his throat before speaking. “So, this is where you live,” he stated, walking around the perimeter of the stone patio until he was standing in full view of his friend.

He watched as Ian’s body stiffened. He sat completely frozen aside from tightening his grip on the glass bottle.

Ben spoke again as he settled himself on the lounge chair next to Ian’s. “I like it. Very nice spot you’ve got here.”

Ian glanced at him,
then set his eyes back on the pool. The two sat quietly for a long moment before he finally spoke up, his words slurring. “So, she called you to come get me cleaned up.”

“She’s scared for you, Ian.”

“Bullshit. She just wants me to get back to playing ball so I can buy her all the fancy crap she likes.” Ian glared at Ben and pointed at him with the bottle to emphasize his meaning.

Ben’s face wore an unmistakable look of pity.
“Nah, not Megan, man. She’s one of the good ones. She wants you to be healthy because she loves you. She doesn’t need all of this. Never did.” Ben gestured with his hand at their surroundings.

“Oh, really?
Then why the fuck did she up and leave with our son a few days ago? As soon as shit wasn’t perfect she just fucking took off.”

“Well, I’m sure it feels that way to you right now, Ian. I’m sure it feels real fucking awful to have her leave and take little Elliott. I’m sure it hurts like hell.”

“What the fuck would you know about it?” Ian charged. “You’ve never been left! Not by your dad! Not by your mom! Not by your fucking wife, either! You don’t know the first goddamned thing about being left!”

Ben sat patiently, doing his best to stay calm and allow his friend’s anger to slide off him. “You’re right, Ian. I don’t know what it would be like and I wish like hell you didn’t know, either. I’m here for you now, though. Let me help you out.”

Ian’s shoulders slumped as silent tears ran down his face. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to prevent the onslaught of tears now streaming from his eyes. His shoulders shook as he finally relented to the wave of emotions he was feeling.

Ben leaned over and put his hand on Ian’s shoulder and gently took the bottle out of his hand, taking a swig himself. He stayed beside Ian for a long time, silently waiting for him to let it out. Before long, Ian passed out. Ben went in the house and found two blankets. Bringing them back outside, he covered his friend with one and settled
himself into another lounge chair to get some sleep. It was a hot Georgia night, and the air was so still it was as though nothing dared to move under the watchful eye of the moon. As Ben stared up at the stars, he knew without a shadow of a doubt how lucky he had been to be born into his own family. He had grown up with two parents who loved each other, loved him and had the ability and means to take care of him. Up until this moment, part of him had felt envious of Ian’s life—the money, the success, the excitement. For the past several years, Ian had been living the dream that was Ben’s while Ben and Alicia had been struggling to make their mortgage payments. But now as he looked over at his friend, broken and alone, he realized that Alicia had been right—of the two of them, Ben was the rich one.

* * *

Three weeks later, Ben walked out of the arrivals section of the Colorado Springs Airport. He was worn to the bone but as soon as he saw his wife, a broad smile lit up his entire face. Rushing to her, he dropped his bag on the floor and wrapped her in the tightest, longest hug he had ever given her. Nothing in his life had ever felt so energizing and wonderful to him. He breathed in the smell of her light perfume and kissed her hard on the mouth. Resting his forehead against hers, he grinned. “Mmm, there’s my girl. I missed you so much. I never want to be away from you for that long again,” he told her, holding his hands up to her face and staring straight into her beautiful eyes.

Tears of relief threatened to spill out of Alicia’s eyes but she blinked them back. “You’d better not. That was three weeks too long. Now let’s get you home so I can welcome you properly.”

They drove back to the house, Ben holding Alicia’s hand on his knee the entire way. It was a bittersweet reunion filled with a detailed account of the past twenty-one gruelling days. Ben had looked after Ian until he was able to get him into a good rehab facility. He filled her in on what it was like to see his friend in such bad shape and to help him through more than one terrifying episode before he was finally able to make the quiet and sad drive with Ian to an addiction centre just outside of Savannah. Ben described the ranch-like atmosphere and his optimism for Ian now that he was where he needed to be.

“So, do you think that he’ll finish the program?”

“I don’t know, Alicia. I sure hope so. If losing Megan and his baby isn’t enough to make him see it through, I can’t think what will.” Ben picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles, grateful for his own life.

Alicia gave him a sad smile, thinking of their friends. “I talked with Megan last night for a couple of hours. She is just devastated by all of this. When she first left, she just thought the shock of losing them would stop him from drinking and taking the pills. I don’t think she realized how far things had gone. Now she’s just in limbo waiting for him to get better. I can’t imagine how hard that would be if it were you and I, especially if we had a child.”

“I know, I keep thinking about what we’d do if it were one of us,” Ben said as he pulled their truck into the driveway, glad to see his cozy home.

Ben turned to Alicia as he took the keys out of the ignition. “You know, honey, the stats aren’t too good on him making a full recovery the first time. I told him he should come out here as soon as he’s finished rehab, but I don’t know if he’ll take me up on it. I talked to my parents and they said he can stay at the ranch as long as he needs to. It would be good for him to be around the family and away from the people that he can get drugs from.”

“I hope he does decide to stay here a while,” Alicia replied, getting out of the truck. “Come on, you, I’ve got your favourite supper in the Crock-Pot. I thought maybe you could have a hot shower while I get things on the table.”

“Alicia,” Ben said, taking hold of her hand as they walked up the steps to their front door, “I know I don’t say it enough, but I am really grateful for the life we’re building together. I know we don’t ever seem to have enough money and I can’t buy you all of the things that you deserve or take you on nice trips, but in the end, everything that is important in life is right here on this front step right now.”

Alicia tilted her head and smiled before giving him a lingering kiss. “I know it is, Ben. I don’t need any of that stuff. You’re all I’ve ever needed since I first laid eyes on you.”

The Caribbean sun had almost completed its descent over the crystal-blue waters. Ben sat on a towel on the icing sugar that disguised itself as sand with Alicia leaned up against his chest. She sighed happily, pressing her cheek to his as she ran her hands lazily along his bare thighs. Ben was wearing only his swim trunks and Alicia was in her new turquoise bikini with a long, flimsy skirt covering her legs. They had spent the late afternoon swimming and relaxing on the secluded beach, deciding to stay for the sun’s final, spectacular show of the day.

“Can you believe we are finally here?” she asked as they waited for the stars to make their appearance.

“Not really,” he replied. “It’s sure been a long time coming. It seems like the best dream ever.
You, me, the sand, the surf and now this sunset.”

“I know. Do we really get another nine days here?” She turned and kissed Ben on his neck as the last of their fellow spectators made their way slowly up the beach, leaving them alone.

“I believe that’s what our return ticket has printed on it, but let’s not think about that just yet. How about you and me pretend we are the only two people on this island and we’re staying for a good long time?” Ben nuzzled her neck for a moment and then found her earlobe with his lips, savouring it.

“Why, Ben,” Alicia said coyly, “if there is no one else on this island, that means we can do anything we like, anywhere we like . . .”

“Exactly,” Ben replied in a low, sexy tone as he slid his hand in between her thighs. Finding the high slit in her skirt, he ran his large hand along the silk of her legs, wasting no time in getting to her bikini bottoms. He toyed with the strings resting on her hips. One little tug and they would fall away from her, leaving her exposed under her skirt. Trailing kisses down her neck to her collarbone, he pulled at the strings. “I’ve been waiting to do that all day,” he murmured in her ear.

Alicia gasped a little at the thought of being so exposed to the world before she realized that they really were alone. She allowed herself to enjoy the hot breeze as it caressed her sensitive skin. “That’s kind of why I bought it.”

Ben’s fingers moved along the length of her sex, taking in its satin warmth. Alicia gave a little moan and turned to find his mouth with hers, feeling her body respond as it always did to Ben’s touch. After years of his kisses, she never stopped getting that thrill from feeling his lips on her. He kissed her the way he looked at her, as though she were the only woman to have ever inhabited the planet.

Sliding his fingertips gently into her, pressing his palm against her, rubbing with exactly the amount of pressure that he knew she loved, Ben knew every inch of her body, how she wanted to be touched, what she needed, and he took full advantage of that knowledge as he moved his other hand up over her breasts. Moving his fingers in tiny circles inside her, he could feel her press herself hungrily against his hand. It wasn’t long before they reached that exquisite moment when she tensed in long waves as commanding as those in the ocean nearby. Alicia bit down on her lip to stifle the loud cry that begged to erupt from her throat. Ben’s own breathing become ragged and his entire body hardened at the desire that was building up in him. He wanted her right there on that beach and he was going to have her.

Alicia collapsed in his arms for a moment, allowing the vibrations in her core to ripple through her. Recovering herself, she turned and propped herself onto her knees, placing her hand over his thick length and massaging him over the fabric of his trunks. Ben ran his hands up over her breasts, squeezing them greedily as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Alicia pulled back, giving him a sexy grin as she tugged at the ties holding her skirt up and held it out to the side before letting it drop to the sand. She reached both hands behind her back and pulled the strings on her bikini top, leaving herself nude before him. Just as he was about to clamp his large hands over her breasts again, she stood suddenly and ran toward the water, turning back and giving him that look that told him to come and get her.

Ben stood, ripping off his trunks unceremoniously and following her into the warm waves of the sea. Alicia stopped when she was waist-deep in the water and turned back to him, giving him a full view of her gorgeous, lean body in the moonlight. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and he loved her like this, completely carefree and uninhibited. Grabbing her hips with both hands, he pulled her to him, pressing their wet bodies together as the waves lapped at them. They kissed with wild abandon, mouths and hands exploring each as their urgency grew almost frantic. Sliding his hands to her ass, Ben lifted her up so that her legs were now wrapped around his waist and her sex was pressed firmly over his hard length. Alicia rocked her hips from side to side and back and forth until he was finally inside her, causing them both to moan with pleasure. He held her up, moving her body up and down over him with his strong arms as their mouths danced with the hunger and passion they would always have for each other. Soon they found themselves coming undone, unable to contain their cries as they surrendered to the moment.

Ben carried her as he walked toward the shore. Lowering both of their bodies down into the sand, he lay on top of her, allowing the weight of his body to press her into the soft sand as the water kissed their legs. Caresses and smiles and satisfied sighs held them there in their private paradise as time stopped for a long, delicious moment.

“I am so in love with you, Alicia,” he declared as he moved his fingers over her cheek. “Every day I fall a little bit more in love with you and I think, ‘Well, this is the most anyone can love anyone else,’ and then the next day, it’s bigger and better and more intense. I want you to know that loving you has been the best adventure of my life.”