Don't Let Me Go (54 page)

‘I’m sure, like me, you wish little Chloe well for her future, and I don’t imagine any of us wishes otherwise for the defendant. She certainly didn’t seem to have a malicious intent when she kept the child, and we’ve heard today how well she took care of her. However, nothing can get us away from the fact that we have laws in this country which apply to every one of us, including social workers, and if we break any of those laws the consequences must be met. I understand it might seem hard to punish a woman for loving a child, but I ask you to put your emotions aside as you consider the crime she has committed. It is a very serious crime, and just so we’re clear about what the law says, let me read it out to you: the abduction of a child under Section Two of the Child Abduction Act of 1984 is when a person
without lawful authority or reasonable excuse takes or detains a child under the age of sixteen so as to remove him or her from the lawful control of any person having lawful control of the child, or so as to keep him or her out of the lawful control of any person entitled to lawful control . . .

‘In the first instance it could be argued that Charlotte Nicholls had both the lawful authority and a reasonable excuse to take the child from the house on North Hill on the night of 6th October. But she had neither lawful authority nor reasonable excuse to
detain
the child after that – and she most certainly did not have the right to take the child out of the country to the other side of the world.

‘So I’m afraid, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, no matter how else we might want to look at this, and I understand it can be difficult when our emotions are engaged, the law is very clear. Ms Nicholls knowingly broke that law and so she must meet the consequences. I ask you to return a verdict of guilty not only for justice to be done, but to send a clear message to everyone everywhere that no one, even for what they might consider to be the right reasons, can take a child that isn’t theirs and try to make it their own.’

As he retook his seat, Charlotte couldn’t bear to look at the jury. His argument had been so short, yet powerful and
right
, that she could already feel their decision forming as though it was crystallising the air between them.

To her surprise Anthony appeared unperturbed, possibly even relaxed as he got to his feet and addressed the court with the usual formalities. ‘I would like you, for a moment,’ he began, ‘to recall the many connections you have made in your lives. The first might have been with a teacher or a friend, or an older boy or girl at school. For many the teenage years would have brought your first love, followed in some cases by the second, third and fourth.’ As everyone smiled, he smiled too. ‘Falling in love is one of the most profoundly powerful experiences we have in our lives; and yet most of us are at a loss to explain what it means, how it feels, exactly, much less have any idea of how or when it might strike. Nor can we say what it is about him or her that works for me when my friend can’t see the attraction at all. Or let’s hope they can’t, anyway.’

After the smiles died down he continued. ‘Love is delivered at random, bringing the greatest joys in our lives, and sometimes the greatest pain. We all know how irrational someone can be when in the throes of it, behaving in ways they might never even dream of otherwise, while the rest of us, being temporarily unafflicted and therefore in possession of our marbles, can only sit back and wait for the storm to pass. I’m referring mainly, of course, to adult love, but I’m sure you can see where I’m going. Connections are made on a visceral, or instinctive level that half the time we cannot anticipate.

‘Now I want you to consider the love for a child, because it’s my belief, and I feel sure you’ll agree, that this is the most powerful love of all. There are no words to describe how deeply a child can bury itself in our hearts, or how it’s done, it simply happens. For many of us, there are no lengths we won’t go to to make a child happy, to keep it safe and give it the very best we can. Children can often make us far better people than we were before they came along. As parents we’re most of us proud of our children, and make it an enormous part of our life’s work to bring them up and set them on the right path.

‘Sadly, not every child has parents like that, and this is why Ms Nicholls, with her great love of children, went into the profession she did. They are the reason she gets up in the morning, and why she is so passionate about protecting them. You heard her team leader, Tommy Burgess, tell us how becoming attached to a child can be one of the hazards of the job. The emotional wear and tear on social workers cannot be quantified; the heartbreak many of them suffer at the end of the day, most days, happens in private and hardly ever gets discussed. We all just take these people for granted, hoping they’ll be there for a child in need, and ready to blame them if something goes wrong that more often than not couldn’t have been foreseen. They receive very little praise, or indeed respect for what they do, and yet they continue to do it because they know that if they don’t the most vulnerable children in our society will have no one.

‘Chloe was one of those children, and the only thing that set her apart from the others was the depth of the connection that formed, almost instantly, between her and Ms Nicholls. Love can, and frequently does, take us by surprise, but Chloe, at her age, had no way of understanding, much less coping with what was happening to her. All she knew was that she wanted to be with Ms Nicholls all the time, because she’d never known what it was to be properly loved before. And Ms Nicholls, even with all her experience of working with children, was totally unprepared for the overwhelming love she felt for Chloe. We’ve heard her describe in the best way she could how it was between them, and no one who knows them has contradicted her. From the moment they met in the park, to the instinct that took Ms Nicholls to the house on North Hill on 6th October, to the way in which nothing intervened over the following weeks to prevent their journey to New Zealand, it was as though a greater force was at work to keep them together.

‘If that’s correct, then why is she standing before us now? The reason, I believe, is because the relationship she has with Chloe needs to be formalised. You might feel this is a strange way for it to happen, but you don’t need me to tell you that fate can behave in some very strange ways – and in the grand scheme of things this probably isn’t the most bizarre.

‘So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does Ms Nicholls really deserve to be punished for what she did? I say what she deserves is to be able to go on loving and caring for the little girl whose world was shattered the day she was snatched from Aroha Daycare by total strangers. Since then she’s been allowed no contact with Ms Nicholls, and Ms Nicholls has not been able to find out how or where Chloe is. If you imagine for a moment how hard that has been, then I’m sure you’ll realise that this brutal separation has been punishment enough. Should you still be in any doubt of how much this woman and child mean to each other then I’m sure, when you look at the photograph my colleague is about to hand each of you, you will see for yourselves just how close and happy they were.’

‘Let it be noted,’ the judge said, looking at her own copy as Kim passed a set around the jury, ‘that the photograph shows the defendant holding the child in the air.’

‘And they are laughing delightedly into one another’s faces,’ Anthony added for the record, ‘wearing the daisy chains they’d made for each other. A picture of pure happiness, of deep and very tender love.

‘Where is Chloe now?’ he continued after a moment. ‘We don’t know, but what I can tell you, members of the jury, is that she is somewhere in the care system with people who may or may not be connecting with her needs; who might have other children from difficult backgrounds with far more pressing problems; who could be in neighbourhoods where other children will try to corrupt her; who could be taking in children more for the money the state gives them than for the love of children. Some of you may have caught the news just this morning; if you did you will have heard about the shocking increase in the numbers of children in care, and how poorly they fare. And the story that followed told us of how concerned social workers are by the limited time they are able to spend with children due to cutbacks, and the danger this is putting children in.

‘We thought this was all being sorted out, didn’t we? After the case of Baby Peter we were promised that swingeing changes would be made to make sure nothing like it ever happened again, and yet social workers, just today, are warning us that it still could.

‘Ms Nicholls was well aware of the pressures the system is under when she decided she couldn’t let Chloe go into care. This child who’d become so uniquely special to her needed her in a way the others didn’t. This wasn’t to say she in any way neglected the other children in her caseload, because no one, not even her manager who was critical in other ways, could fault her when it came to her dealings with the children.’

Pausing to glance down at his notes, he allowed several moments to pass before he looked up again.

‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Ms Nicholls isn’t a criminal, she’s quite simply someone who took the law into her own hands and gave a little girl all the love she could wish for, a family, friends and a safe and loving home. I ask you what purpose it would serve to prevent her from ever seeing Chloe again, because that is what would happen if you were to find her guilty. It won’t make society a safer place, or right the wrong a parent might feel has been done to them, because Chloe has no parents – at least none who will ever be able to have custody of her again. It’s my belief that the only people in this room who really want to see Ms Nicholls punished belong to the Kesterly division of Dean Valley Police, and not for abducting a child, but for the humiliation they have suffered due to their own ineptitude.

‘I say let them look to themselves, while we turn our minds to a little girl who’s out there somewhere in care, facing a future fraught with all kinds of dangers, when where she ought to be is with the woman who loves her and who will make sure she never comes to any harm.

‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I thank you for your time. I know you will give this matter your careful consideration, and I am confident you will agree that the only way justice can be humanely and properly served is to return a verdict of not guilty.’

As Anthony sat down and picked up a glass of water, the court remained silent. It was as though no one wanted to break the moment, to do anything at all to start unravelling the delicate yet compelling argument he’d made. He didn’t have the law on his side and everyone knew it, but his question still resonated in the air: what purpose was there to depriving a little girl of the safe home and wonderful life he’d described?

Charlotte was hardly daring to think as the judge began explaining the jury’s duties, what was now expected of them, and the procedures they could take should they require assistance of any kind. ‘You’ve heard a most persuasive argument from Mr Goodman for the defence,’ Charlotte suddenly registered, ‘but I would urge you, members of the jury, to keep in mind during your deliberations the fact that a crime
has
been committed. It is why we are here, because a child, no matter how deeply she was loved, was abducted by the defendant. You will be provided with a copy of the relevant law to assist with your deliberations.’

Charlotte could feel the world falling away from her. The judge had just instructed the jury to find her guilty, so what chance was she going to stand now? She could hardly believe it had happened, and from the look on Anthony’s face as he turned to her, he couldn’t either.

An hour later Charlotte was alone in the ladies’ room on the next floor up from the court. She’d had to come here to escape the nightmare of waiting with Anthony and her mother, Bob, Gabby, Martin . . . Everyone was crowded into the room Kim had found for them, and everyone was still trying to put a brave face on things in spite of how hopeless they now knew it to be.

‘Surely the judge can’t get away with that,’ Bob had protested as soon as Anthony and Jolyon had come into the room.

‘She can, because we haven’t tried to deny that Charlotte took Chloe and held on to her,’ Jolyon replied.

Anthony had said nothing at that point, but Charlotte had been able to sense how angry he was with the judge’s summing up.

‘She’s barely said a word for the past two days,’ Kim snapped irritably, ‘so to go and do something like that is bloody outrageous. Surely it has to give us grounds for appeal?’

‘An appeal will only be necessary if there’s a guilty verdict,’ Anthony had reminded her, ‘so let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.’

Pressing cold water to her face as though it might wash away the images of Walworth and Nola and the threat of Molly Buck, Charlotte tried to focus only on Chloe. Never had she felt such an overwhelming need to hold her, to hear and smell her and tell her how much she loved her. She wanted to touch her hair, as dark as coffee, as soft as petals; to kiss her cheeks, as tender as a baby’s. Why, she wondered, now she was on the very brink of losing her for good, was she seeming so real, so near?

‘All I can hope,’ she whispered to her tormented reflection as though it was Chloe, ‘is that you forget me, because that will be the easiest thing for you, my darling – but I know I’ll never, ever forget you.’

Chloe was sitting on the bottom step of a tombstone in a cemetery that was on the side of a hill looking down over the sea. She didn’t know that the grave she was on belonged to Andy and Peggy Nicholls, their daughter Yvonne and Hugo, aged five, and that they were Mummy’s family. Sally didn’t know that, either. All Sally knew was that it had seemed right to bring Chloe here to show her where people went when they were dead. Had she been able to find out where Erica Wade’s ashes were she’d probably have taken Chloe there, but no one had seemed to know or care about Erica Wade. So they’d come here instead, because it wasn’t far from Sally’s home, and was where Sally’s mother had been buried, in one of the newer plots the other side of the church.