Don't Let Me Go (55 page)

‘I know how sad it is to lose your mummy,’ she said softly to Chloe. ‘I was very sad when I lost mine.’

Chloe’s eyes were wide with confusion as tears welled from them and rolled on to her cheeks. Why wasn’t Mummy coming back? She didn’t understand.

‘I’m sorry,’ Sally whispered, ‘if I could make your mummy come back I would, but I can’t.’

‘She’s not thinking about that woman what died,’ Bobby said, ambling up to join them. ‘She’s thinking about t’other one.’

‘I know,’ Sally murmured, ‘but she’s not coming back either, is she?’

Bobby’s pale eyes drifted down towards the sea. ‘No, I s’pose not,’ he grunted after a while. ‘Not if she’s going to prison.’

‘She is,’ Sally hissed, ‘I already heard it on the news, that there’s no way she’s going to get off.’

It was strange and awful, Charlotte was thinking as the jury filed back into the court, how the last little shred of hope would never quite die. Even though she knew the press were already forecasting anything from a suspended sentence to a possible five-year term, and she knew instinctively they were right, she wasn’t going to be able to accept it fully until she heard the actual words.

Perhaps not until a guard came to escort her from the dock.

Please, please don’t let me ever have to go in that Reliance van again.

God, if you exist, please take care of Chloe. Let her go to some good people. It wouldn’t be fair to hurt her any more; she’s already been through too much.

Knowing that some children went through even worse wasn’t a thought she could hold on to now. She wouldn’t be in a position to help them again after this, and right now it was hard enough trying to cope with what was going on around her.

‘Whatever happens next,’ Anthony had whispered to her before they’d returned, ‘it won’t be the end.’

In a bizarre effort to keep herself steady, she was trying to work out what that meant; that he was intending to appeal if – when – the verdict went against them? That it wouldn’t be the end for them? Maybe he’d been trying to tell her that she still shouldn’t give up on Chloe . . . Oh God, there was that irrepressible shred of hope again, her tormentor and Chloe’s only champion.

Chloe, I love you.

‘Will the defendant please rise?’

She started to move and was suddenly so light-headed that for a horrible moment she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get up. But then she was on her feet, swallowing the bitter taste of bile in her throat and staring straight at the judge while the jury were asked if they’d reached a unanimous verdict.

‘We have,’ came the reply.

So not a hung jury. The very idea that everyone would want to acquit her was plain madness.

‘Will you please tell the court, do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?’

More bile rose to Charlotte’s mouth as the foreman said, ‘We find the defendant . . . guilty.’

The room dipped away from her as she swayed; she was being crushed from within. She didn’t understand why there was so much noise. The judge was speaking, but Charlotte couldn’t hear what she was saying. The jury were leaving; she wanted to scream at them to come back, but she couldn’t force out the words.

Then Gabby was there, pulling her into her arms and laughing as she cried, ‘Thank God, thank God.’

Charlotte blinked uncomprehendingly.

‘Are you OK?’ Gabby asked, ignoring the fuss going on around them.

‘I – what . . .’ She stumbled. ‘They said guilty.’

Gabby laughed. ‘No! Not guilty! It’s over, Charlotte, you can go home.’ She hugged her again.

Certain she was dreaming, Charlotte searched the crowd for Anthony. When their eyes met she could tell from his expression that it was true, she had misheard. They’d found her not guilty.

Minutes later Charlotte was in the corridor surrounded by her family, her legal team, Tommy and half a dozen of her former colleagues. She was still sobbing as everyone fought to get to her, wanting to hug and congratulate her, and Anthony too.

In the end Anthony said, ‘The press will want a statement. Kim’s already drafted something and she’ll read it out if you don’t want to.’

Charlotte could hardly think. Did she want to go out there and face all those cameras, the questions, opinions, censure and whatever else the world at large was needing to express?

‘Let Kim,’ Anthony said, sensing her reluctance. ‘There’ll be time to talk to them later, if you want to. For now, I think we should go and get that charming little bracelet removed from your ankle. Then, if you’re up to it, Maggie wants to host a celebration.’

Maggie had already planned a party?

‘What – what time is it?’ she asked, searching for a clock.

‘Four fifteen,’ Bob told her.

Charlotte’s eyes went to her mother and as they seemed to read each other’s minds, Anna came to wrap her arms around her.

‘Is it too late to do it today?’ Anna asked huskily.

‘I don’t think so,’ Charlotte replied, and turning to Anthony she said, ‘Before we do anything else, I need to prepare an application for a residence order.’

With an ironic raise of an eyebrow he turned to Tommy, who waved an envelope in the air.

‘We’ve got the forms right here,’ Tommy told her.

Charlotte gave a sob of laughter.

‘We’ve tried to stay positive,’ Anthony smiled.

Feeling herself welling up again, she said, ‘We’re going to get her back, aren’t we?’

‘That’s certainly our next goal.’

Still gazing into his eyes, she said, ‘We do need to talk about us.’

‘All in good time,’ he promised, and stood aside as Tommy handed her the forms that, please God, would see Chloe returned to her within days.

Chapter Twenty-Six

‘
WENDY, YOU CANNOT
block this,’ Tommy declared fiercely the following morning. ‘First of all you have no damned good reason to, and second if you do you’ll make a serious enemy out of me.’

‘Me too,’ Saffy piped up.

‘And me,’ Tracy added. ‘If you could see what it’s doing to that child, being separated from the only mother she’s ever really had, you’d be rushing this through so fast they’d be together by the end of today.’

Wendy’s face was pinched and pale as she looked up at them. Tommy didn’t even have the right to be there, but such was his affection for Charlotte that he’d stayed on to make sure that she, Wendy, didn’t stand in the way of what Charlotte wanted. She wasn’t surprised to see Saffy in here; Saffy and Charlotte had always got along, and Tracy, who rarely took sides, had obviously been persuaded that Charlotte was the only parent for Chloe too. They clearly weren’t alone either, since the door was open and the rest of the team weren’t even pretending to work as they watched and waited for her response.

‘Wendy, you can do this,’ Tommy told her firmly. ‘You have to.’

She could no longer look at him. She hated being harangued like this, and didn’t see why she should take it, especially from someone who didn’t even work here any more. He was just making her want to dig her heels even deeper. ‘Actually,’ she finally managed, looking directly at Tracy, ‘I would appreciate it if you and I could speak alone. Certain things have come up that we need to discuss and as they are no concern of anyone else’s I’ll thank you, Tommy and Saffy, to leave the room.’

Avoiding Tommy’s glare as he left, she didn’t speak again until the door was closed.

As she listened Tracy’s face flushed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured, not knowing what else to say.

Wendy slipped the application for a residence order into a drawer. ‘In future it might be a good idea to let me speak before you bring your colleagues in here to attack me,’ she declared, and getting to her feet she went to open the door for Tracy to leave.

Tommy caught up with Tracy as she was getting into her car. ‘What’s happening? Where are you going?’ he demanded.

Wondering if Wendy was watching from her window, Tracy said, ‘To the court.’

His eyebrows shot up. ‘Does that mean she signed the order?’

Tracy shook her head. ‘Not yet,’ she replied. ‘I’m going for another case.’

‘So?’

‘So, she reminded me that no one’s inspected where Charlotte lives yet to make sure it’s suitable.’

Tommy’s jaw dropped. ‘You’re kidding me.’

‘’Fraid not. She’s also worried, she says, about the fact that she’s heard there’s a man living there, or visiting often, and if it’s true he’ll need to be checked out too.’

Tommy was incredulous. ‘She knows we’re talking about Anthony Goodman,’ he stated.

‘Presumably, it’s all over the press today, though she didn’t mention him by name. Anyway, we can’t argue with her because she’s right, the proper procedures have to be gone through, and, wait for this, she’s only going to carry them out herself.’

Tommy’s eyes widened with shock. ‘I’ll call Charlotte,’ he said, ‘at least forewarned is forearmed, but I dread to think what’s going to happen when those two come face to face. If Wendy’s going to try to stand in the way of Charlotte getting Chloe back, well all I can say is Wendy’s a braver soul than I took her for.’

Charlotte was with her mother and Shelley, strolling through the sprawl of deckchairs and sun worshippers on the beach, when she heard someone shouting, ‘Hey! Alex! Alex!’

Hoping it wasn’t anyone from the press, she turned around and shielded her eyes from the sun as she tried to spot who it was. For the moment she couldn’t tell.

‘It’s me, Gemma,’ one of a trio of teenagers announced, as she ploughed through the sand towards her.

Recognising her behind the badly applied fake tan and outrageous eyelashes, Charlotte’s expression softened with affection. ‘Gemma, what a lovely surprise,’ she cried, giving her a hug. What had happened to the plain, shy little girl from her caseload? ‘How are you? You look so grown up.’

‘I’m going to be fourteen next month,’ Gemma beamed, showing a mouthful of teeth that were neither clean nor straight.

Though Charlotte knew that couldn’t be true, since the girl had been only twelve this time last year, she gave a dutiful gasp of awe. ‘Amazing! ‘Doesn’t time fly? So how are things? No, let me introduce you first. This is my mother, Anna, and my stepsister Shelley. Mum, Shel, Gemma used to be one of my star charges.’

‘Hello, Gemma,’ Anna said warmly. ‘It’s lovely to meet you.’

‘Yes, lovely,’ Shelley echoed. ‘And who are your friends?’

Gemma spun round to where the other two were huddled over a mobile phone. ‘Oh, that’s just Molly and Pia,’ she replied with a dismissive wave. ‘We like, go to the same school, and hang out together and stuff. Obviously we’re on holidays now.’

‘Are you still with the Brownings?’ Charlotte wanted to know, referring to the carers who’d taken Gemma into their home after her mother died.

‘Oh yeah,’ Gemma replied airily, ‘but I’m going to be moving on in a couple of months. We’ve kind of like had enough of each other. They’re a bit, you know, old and stuff and Linda, who’s my social worker now, said it would be good if we could find someone younger.’

Dismayed to hear that, since she knew how kind the Brownings had been to Gemma and her mother during her mother’s illness, Charlotte said, ‘I’m sure they’ll be sad to see you go. They were always very fond of you.’

Though Gemma gave a careless shrug, Charlotte could tell she wasn’t quite as indifferent as she was trying to appear. ‘Yeah, well, you know,’ she sighed, ‘they’re always on my case about my clothes and my mates and stuff, it’s like non-stop. Really does my head in. Anyway, I been hearing all about you on the news and I’m really, really glad you got off. It would have been like mental if you hadn’t.’

Charlotte smiled. ‘Thank you,’ she said softly.

‘And all that crap they been writing about you in the papers since, well some papers anyway, it’s like sooo obvious they don’t know you. It makes me so mad, honest, it does.’

Taking her hand, Charlotte said, ‘Don’t you worry about me, I can fight my battles, you just need to think of you and what a lovely girl you are.’

‘Oh yeah, like right,’ Gemma scoffed with a blush.

‘I think so, and I know the Brownings do too, so don’t give up on them, Gem. They’re just doing what they think is best, and not everyone’s as sweet and caring as them.’

Gemma pulled a face.

Leaning in to whisper, Charlotte said, ‘I think your mum would want you to stay there, don’t you?’

As Gemma’s colour deepened tears welled in her eyes.

Having guessed that she was still grieving, Charlotte pulled her closer and stroked her hair. ‘You’re doing really well,’ she murmured. ‘I think she’d be proud of you.’

Pulling back, Gemma kept her head down as her eyes slid off towards the sea. ‘You know what I wanted to ask you,’ she said, ‘is why you didn’t take me? I wanted you to, do you remember? I begged you to, but you didn’t.’

As guilt twisted her heart, Charlotte replied, ‘The circumstances were very different, Gem, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t special to me, because you were, you know that, and you still are . . .’

‘But my mum had just died, same as hers, so why did you choose her and not me?’

‘Oh sweetheart, I promise you it wasn’t about choosing between you. That didn’t even come into it.’

‘So can’t you take me now?’

Aching with pity, Charlotte cupped a hand round her chubby face as she told her, ‘You’re settled here, with the Brownings, and no matter how much they might annoy you at times I know they love you. They won’t want to lose you, and I don’t think you want to lose them either, not really.’

‘I wouldn’t care if you said I could come with you.’

Folding her back into an embrace, Charlotte said, ‘Yes you would, because I know you’ve got a very tender little heart in that new big chest of yours . . .’

Gemma giggled.

‘. . . and the Brownings mean a lot more to you than you’re letting on.’

‘Yeah, well, it might be easier if you were still my social worker,’ Gemma grumbled. ‘I’ve had about five different ones since you left and not one of them’s anything like you. Do you think you’ll be coming back now?’

Smiling as she looked down at her, Charlotte said, ‘To be honest, I don’t think they’d have me, but even if they were willing, it wouldn’t be possible.’