Learning to Forgive (The Learning Series)
Read Learning to Forgive (The Learning Series) Online
Authors: R.D. Cole
Tags: #New Adult, #Suspense
Learning to Forgive by R.D. Cole
ISBN-10: 0-9912894-2-0
ISBN-13: 978-0-9912894-2-4
Book Cover- Berto Designs
Photographer: Chuck Condron with XE Photography
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Designer: Rebecca Berto with Berto Designs
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Model: Damien Ray Decent (Dirdy)
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Editing/Formatting: Indie Express LLC
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Published in the United States of America
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
If you’re reading this, then it’s for you. I dedicate this book to all the readers who take chances on Indies, support us, and love our stories as much as we do. <3
Nov 4, 2012
Blaire
Today is the day I say my final goodbye, but the words refuse to leave my tight-lipped mouth. It’s not supposed to be this way. We have so many plans we’ve made that we still need to do. Plus, I’m not ready to lose you. I’m not ready to never see you again. You’re the one person who always went first to make sure that it is safe for me… The person who shared every secret with me and vice versa before we even took our first breath.
You were my protector and knight, the reason I kept going when I wanted to give up. You hid my darkest secret and never looked at me differently. You promised you would never leave me. But you lied. Just like everyone else.
Now, I stand above the wet ground, watching as the brown box lowers deeper in the earth while you rest in there… cold, alone, not breathing. Except… I’m the one who can’t breathe without you.
My mind travels from just a few days ago to the present. The finality sets in, and no matter how hard I try to wake from this nightmare, I can’t. My hands grip the sides of my metal chair as my head starts to swim, and black spots enter my vision. The crack in my heart opens more with every word that passes the minister’s mouth.
Benji may be resting in peace, but I’m the one who will never know peace. A lie and a needle have ripped my peace away. I can’t fix this or go back in time, but I can make a promise to my friend… my brother... my twin. I will never forget him, or the reason he’s gone from me. Never forget his laughter or his love. And especially the last thing he told me. Of the life that will never be because of one person.
Two weeks later
“No… no… no! Come on, you piece of crap. Go just a little further, please? I promise, as soon as I can, I’ll get you whatever you need. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, keep going.”
My prayer lands on deaf ears. Or whatever this old Toyota uses to listen to my rant because it sputters as smoke pours out of the hood.
I know it runs hot, but I put my last two gallons of water in the stupid thing a few miles back.
Fuck my life.
Why is this happening to me? Why didn’t I take the time to get the stupid thing fixed? Because Benji always told me not to let people take advantage of me, and the idiot at the automotive place wanted me to pay an arm and a leg to repair whatever is wrong. I only have so much money left and that would have left me broke.
Feeling forsaken, I pull over and punch the steering wheel over and over again.
Please, let this be a damn nightmare
. What am I supposed to do now? I’m not used to being on my own. My whole life, I’ve had Benji, but not anymore. Now I have nobody.
Who did I piss off in the universe that has it out to make my life a living Hell?
Tears form as it dawns on me that there’s nothing around and no traffic coming my way on this deserted road. I’m somewhere in BFE, Nevada with a broken down ‘83 Toyota Camry and two hundred dollars to my name.
After stepping out of the car, I kick my tire and scream, desperate that someone will hear me before I rot on this road to nowhere.
Hell!
Call the crazy bus to come get me. I don’t care. I just want to… to…
Crap! I have no idea what I want anymore.
It’s my own fault I’m here. The need to get away had me packing up and running from what I knew and what my old dreams were at one time. All I ever wanted was one moment of pure happiness. Something I’ve always seen in others. But I’m left feeling disgusted with myself and with nowhere to go.
More screams emerge before the tears try to come once more. But I’m tired of crying, tired of feeling sad. Wiping the moisture away, I focus on my anger and look toward the sky before I shout again.
“Ahh!”
When my voice starts to feel scratchy and cracks, I stop and catch my breath.
My eyes look up toward a cloudless sky as I try to think of my next move. Except my mind can’t help but notice how its beauty is so opposite to how my life is. Where it’s serene, I’m such a damn mess. While growing up, peace was something I never knew.
Breathing deeply, I can’t help but wonder if Benji is up there somewhere. If he is, I hope he can see the finger I’m holding up. “What did I ever do to deserve this? Huh? Well, I got news for you, Benjamin, I’m going to go to Vegas and live our dream
without you
. You hear me? I’m going to make it big and have all the money we always talked about when we were growing up. While you just sit up there, or wherever, and do nothing.”
But I’m only filled with gusto because I have no desire to sing or touch an ivory key ever again. I don’t know what I plan on doing when I get to Vegas, but it won’t be music. Maybe I’ll become a showgirl.
Yeah right
! The very thought of random people watching me sends shivers down my spine. I’ll probably waitress like I’m used to doing. Maybe I’ll get a cat so I won’t feel so alone.
The wind blows my hair in my face and makes a chill overtake me. It’s December, and it’s cold. I only have one jacket and a few pairs of jeans in my back seat, so if I need to camp in my car tonight, I’ll have to bundle up. It won’t be the first time, and I’ve certainly slept in worse conditions. Maybe I’ll die and give the birds something tasty to eat. That way I’ll have done something in my life.
So I wait. And wait. Now the sun has vanished, and the chill from earlier has dropped to almost freezing levels. The car battery eventually died so now every exhale is visible, and my fingers are almost frozen. My last cereal bar has been devoured, but luckily, I haven’t had an appetite lately. It’s been at least an hour since the last car passed, but a lot of help that prick was. He just kept going, not paying any attention to the freezing girl stranded on the road.
Fucker!