Hurrying out, Evan closed the door behind him and took the steps two at a time as he descended toward the street-level door and the freedom that lay beyond. His car was parked around back and once he was behind the wheel, he let out a sigh of relief and checked his phone. There was a text message from Carter.
‘Meet me at The Tom X. I’ll be there in five.’
The message was sent seven minutes ago.
Evan started the engine and reversed out of his spot. When his phone rang, he glanced at it, thinking maybe it was Carter. It was Charlie, so Evan let the call go to voicemail. He’d call his dad back later.
Sure, it was probably an underhanded thing to do to lie to Luka about where he was headed, but it wasn’t like Evan could tell him he wanted to hang with Carter alone for awhile and avoid the awkwardness that always came with being with one of his boyfriends in public. The last thing Evan needed when at a bar that didn’t specifically cater to the gay populace was to have Luka sling an arm around him or kiss him, especially after the attack that almost cost Evan his life. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Luka to follow through on what he’d just promised; it was more because Evan’s stress levels were too high for him to willingly take any more chances.
It didn’t take long at all to get to The Tom X Tavern, which was a hole in the wall neighborhood place down the street a block or two. Located on a corner, it could have been mistaken for a house if not for the neon signs blocking the view through the few, small windows. Carter loved the place for its limited clientele. He was less likely to run into fans or groupies of his band, Raed, there than at a bigger, more popular bar.
Evan found a parking spot right out front. Glancing around as he got out, he didn’t see anyone he knew and was glad. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about Presley or anyone else reporting back to the twins about where he really was, instead of with Jimmy.
Carter was sitting at the bar, nursing a lager. The door tinkled as a little bell was knocked askew, alerting all of the occupants that a newcomer had arrived. A few patrons looked up and the bartender gave him the once-over, probably and rightly thinking he was too young to be in there.
“He’s with me,” Carter said, right away, with a hard edge to his voice. The bartender seemed content with that and went back to what he was doing.
Evan took the stool next to Carter, who reached out and shook Evan’s hand firmly, pulling him in to give him a brief, manly hug while he was at it.
“Good to see you again, man,” Carter grinned.
“You too. It’s nice to be out alone for once.”
“I bet.” Carter sipped his beer, looking sideways at Evan. “Rough day?”
“No, just the usual,” Evan groaned.
“He’ll have the same as me,” Carter told the bartender, who hesitated. The look on Carter’s face seemed to convince him though. A tall glass of beer was slid in Evan’s direction. It was cold and the first swallow went down smooth.
“Doesn’t sound like the usual is that great then,” Carter observed. “Is this about what we were talking about before?”
“No. Something else. It’s fine, it’s just always weird to be out in public with Luka or Alek, or
both
. Especially when Luka has no problem telling people exactly who I am. At the gym earlier, he kept talking about how he’s dating twins. I mean, he didn’t say it outright, but people kept figuring it out from what he did say.”
“If you’re not cool with telling people that much, he needs to respect it,” Carter said somewhat heatedly. Of anyone else Evan knew, it was Carter who could relate most to wanting to keep his sexual orientation a secret. Carter’s gig as the lead singer of a band with a large female following counted on them not picking up on the fact that he was screwing and living with his male security guy.
“He does, but then he starts arguing that he doesn’t want to pretend I mean nothing to him, and he’s got a point. I appreciate how he doesn’t want to lie about that stuff. We argued about it, but I think Luka is starting to get where I’m coming from. We’ll see, I guess.” Evan kept his voice low, but a loud jukebox in the corner seemed to cover their conversation well enough. Plus, there was no one near them. Everyone else had their own problems to drink away.
“But if he’s
really
honest about your arrangement, he could easily get you killed, and you know it,” Carter said quietly, leaning in closer and looking Evan dead in the eye.
Evan rotated his beer on the bar top, watching the condensation ring form, and tried not to think about how right Carter was. “Yeah,” Evan grumbled. “I don’t think he sees it that way.”
“He
needs
to see it that way if he wants you and Bren sticking around. People are fucking
nuts
, man. They’re working shitty jobs. The economy scares them senseless. The government’s breathing down their necks. They’re just getting by and their lives are miserable, and then you have gay people fighting for rights and putting themselves in the spotlight. And don’t even get me started on religion. There are a lot of people who are capable of snapping and taking their frustrations about other shit out on a kid like you, just because you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. You’re an easy target.”
“You don’t need to tell me,” Evan sighed.
“Fuck right, I don’t. You know exactly what I mean, and you’ve got the scars to prove it.”
Evan took a deep drink. It made his head swim. “So, what do I do?”
“Drink your beer. Hang out with me a while.”
“Sounds good to me,” Evan smiled, glancing Carter’s way and getting a wicked hint of a grin in return.
An hour or two slipped by. Evan only had the one beer, since he had to drive back. Carter had many more, though, so Evan drove him home.
By the door to Carter and Presley’s place, Evan waited by Carter’s side as he got out his keys and tried to find the right one. It was taking him a while.
“Need a hand with that?” Evan chuckled as Carter scowled at his keys, flipping through them one by one.
“You offering me a hand, Ev?” Carter retorted, laughing at his joke as Evan licked his lips wet and tried to play it cool.
“Not like that,” Evan murmured. “Just trying to get you home in one piece.”
“You’re a good guy, you know. You deserve to have less shit in your life. You should get to just be happy, without all the bullshit and fear.”
“You don’t need to fight my battles for me, you know,” Evan reminded him, as Carter got angry on his behalf once again.
“I just don’t want that streak of bad luck to hit you again,” Carter said more softly. “The twins are reckless. Always have been.”
“I know. They’re growing up, though.”
Carter had finally found the right key. The door was an inch or two ajar. He turned back to Evan though, head bowed.
“Thanks for the drink. Anytime you wanna do this again, you know where I am.”
“Thanks,” Evan nodded.
Without another word, Carter turned and went inside.
Chapter 10
Haunted
The drive was supposed to take fifteen hours. On the way, at one of several rest stops, Brennan called Luka before his shift at the gym. He also called Evan, who didn’t have much to say and seemed to want to reach through the phone to pull Brennan back to Pennsylvania. Alek called Brennan on his way to work, just to say ‘I love you’ and ‘drive safe.’ It all made Brennan homesick when he’d barely left. After that, he tried to turn his attention back to where he was going instead of where he’d been.
When Hailey called, he was glad to answer and smiled as he said, “Hey. Just a few hours away from ya.”
“Awesome, Brennan!” she replied, sounding eager to see him. “I’ve got the couch all tricked out with lots of blankets and pillows, so you’ll be super comfortable, and the kitchen is loaded with vegan-only deliciousness. We’re set.”
“That sounds great.”
The highway had looked the same ever since he’d passed through West Virginia. It was tree lined, with fields beyond them on either side. Once in a while there was a rest stop, but, mostly, the only things that changed were the names on the signs.
Traffic had lightened up, too, so he didn’t feel too bad about taking calls while driving.
“Look,” she said, her chipper tone dulling, “I have to tell you something.”
“Oh no. What?”
“Tommy called me.”
“Fuck,” Brennan moaned.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were avoiding him or hadn’t been taking his calls. I figured it out pretty quickly, though, from what he said.”
“So, he knows I’m coming.”
“Yeah,” Hailey admitted, meekly. “It doesn’t mean anything. You don’t have to see him. You’ll be busy anyway.”
“He’s just been acting really weird. He still messages me and tries to call even though I haven’t taken his calls in months. It’s really bizarre and creepy. I don’t know what his deal is, but he’s not someone I want to talk to or be around.”
“Should I tell him that? Tell him to back off?”
That was a tricky question. Ignoring Tommy had always seemed to best route to take, but clearly that hadn’t been effective. It was hard to imagine being direct and telling him how to behave was going to yield better results, not when Tommy could be so pig-headed. It would only make him angry.
But what choice was there?
“Okay, fine. Just send him a message, don’t tell him anything, just that he needs to let it go. Or something like that. God,” He groaned again with dread.
“It’ll be fine. He’s being a dick. He needs to realize you’re not his boyfriend anymore. It can’t be that hard to find another piece of ass.”
“You’d think. All right, back to driving.”
“Right. Be careful. See you soon! We’ll have fun. No worrying about whatshisface, you hear me?”
“Yep. Later, Hailey.”
The day-long drive had worn him out. As soon as Brennan got to Hailey’s place, after giving her a sleepy hug and thanking her again for letting him crash there, he hit the couch and fell asleep. First thing in the morning, before Hailey was even awake, he left to make his first and most important visit. Really, he just wanted more sleep, not to socialize or dodge questions about where he was living and with whom. So, naturally, the first place he drove to wasn’t to see a friend, but to the cemetery.
Maggie’s grave was easy enough to find. He remembered the path to take from the day of her funeral. Then, there had been a procession of vehicles and a whole group of mourners gathered around her final resting place. Now, there was just him.
As he walked from his parking spot, over the grass and through rows of tombstones decorated here and there with flower arrangements, Brennan wished Evan was with him. It would have been a strange sort of closure. The three of them would have been together again, at last. But it was too soon. Evan had a lot of emotions to sort through before he could make that trip.
Maggie’s tombstone was modest, but just seeing her name carved in stone helped ground Brennan. Of all of the places in the world, that was the one where he felt most comfortable talking to his deceased mother. It seemed possible there was a special sort of conduit, sending his words to her spirit, connecting them.
“I miss you,” he started out with, after setting down a bouquet of daisies which he’d picked up at a convenience store on the way. Her birthday wasn’t until the following day, but he intended to give her all the daisies and attention he could. “Evan wanted to come, but you know how it is. The whole death thing is a touchy subject with him. And I guess, being a spirit instead of a person now, maybe you know about everything that’s happened. I kind of hope you don’t. But, if you do... I’m sorry.”
Stopping there, Brennan lifted his gaze to the clouds and the rays of sunlight breaking through near the horizon, letting the brightness of the morning burn away his tears. Clearing his throat and wiping his nose with the back of his hand, he couldn’t help but imagine her there, maybe sitting on top of the gravestone, swinging her feet and looking at him with the steady determination he sometimes saw in Evan’s eyes.
She would have been ashamed of him. He felt it. It would have broken her heart to know her children had committed sexual acts with each other. It had never really hit him before as hard as it did then.
Letting the shame wash over him, basking in it a little, he didn’t try to excuse his decisions, even internally. It had been scary to face Charlie, and the wrath which had come with revelation. But Charlie wasn’t Brennan’s father in his heart. He was just a man with a biological connection. Dealing with Charlie’s reaction had been mostly about defending himself and keeping Charlie from hurting him. Maggie, though, was in every way Brennan’s mother. And he’d hurt her by doing what he’d done. He’d betrayed her upbringing and caused additional, psychological harm to Evan, her long-lost child. If she’d still been alive, and she’d discovered this truth about her sons, her reaction would have been crushing. So much of Brennan’s identity had been wrapped up in being everything Maggie needed him to be, to disappoint her so deeply would have caused a rift between them that may not have ever healed. There was a real chance she would never have forgiven him.