Authors: Megan Squires
“
We were.
”
Sofia
’
s doe-like eyes widened around the
rims and her mouth fell into a frown. She looked like some tragic porcelain
doll.
“
One
thing I did learn early on about Leo is that he
’
s incredibly quick to forgive. I
think it
’
s
honestly one of his only faults.
”
I
could not understand how forgiveness could be construed as a fault, no matter
how you tried to twist it. Wasn
’
t
that the one thing that made us different from animals? That we could forgive?
Or maybe that was it was the opposable thumbs. Whatever. Forgiveness was
essential to humankind, I was sure of it.
“
He
’
s trusting, and he
’
s forgiving.
”
Two of the greatest qualities a person
could possess if you asked me.
“
So
he forgave me when I came crawling back to him. For two years, we pretended
everything was okay.
”
Sofia leaned back and pressed her weight onto the bathroom counter, her fingers
curling around the lipped edge of the stone. I thought she could cry.
“
He proposed six months later, but
even the jewel on my finger couldn
’
t
cover up what I
’
d
done. It didn
’
t
change things.
”
Maybe
not that jewel, but
this one
definitely could.
“
I
’
ve only seen him with you a couple of
times, but I can already say with certainty that I
’
ve never been on the receiving end of
a look like the ones he gives you, Julie.
”
I really, really wanted to shout
Booyah!
at her, but that felt a little callous, so I only nodded sympathetically.
“
He
’
s been ready to love again for a
while. You just might get to be the lucky girl he gives his heart to.
”
“
I
’
m going to have to disagree with you
there.
”
Dammit, my hands itched again. Sofia was going to make me a fighter before day
’
s end and I couldn
’
t have any of that.
Break dance, not hearts. Make
friends, not foes.
I repeated my favorite peacekeeping
mantras in order to center myself and remind my head and heart where my roots
were.
“
What is there to disagree with?
”
Pick flowers, not fights. Drop beats,
not bombs.
“
With
the assumption that there is any amount of luck involved.
”
I wasn
’
t about to discredit what was
starting between Leo and me by calling it something as unsure as luck. It was
deeper than that. Possibly fate. Maybe destiny. But certainly not luck.
“
I don
’
t believe in luck.
”
Shrugging,
Sofia pushed off from the vanity and folded her slender arms across her chest.
“
Well, you have to believe in
something for a relationship to work. That much I know.
”
“
I do.
”
I bound my own arms over my body and
smiled. Sofia wasn
’
t
the bad guy. If anything, I should be thanking her for breaking Leo
’
s heart, because without doing so, I
’
d never have the chance to be the one
to hold it, even if it was shattered and I had to collect the pieces.
“
I believe in Leo.
”
“
I did once too.
”
Upon a soft clearing of her throat,
she added, almost as an afterthought, but with enough weight that it couldn
’
t be ignored,
“
But it
’
s hard to believe in someone when
they don
’
t
even believe in themselves.
”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“
I miss you too. Of course, everyday.
”
Ian
had his back to me, but it was obvious Joshua was on the other line, the one
receiving the gift of his words. Those little lovebirds were so precious. I
would be sure not to go near them with any slingshots, given my recent unlucky
history with winged creatures.
“
Jules!
”
Swiping his finger across the
keypad, Ian hung up with Joshua and slipped the phone into his back pocket.
“
Looking good, Love.
”
“
Why, thank you. This is all
compliments of Sofia.
”
I waved a hand across my face.
“
And
while she was giving me a makeover, she gave me a little information on her
relationship with Leo.
”
“
And?
”
Tapping his foot in a way that
demanded my answer, Ian widened his eyes.
“
She cheated on him.
”
“
Wench.
”
My
thoughts exactly, though I hadn
’
t
articulated them yet.
“
Leo
’
s hard to get to know apparently.
Which isn
’
t
really a huge surprise. He
’
s
definitely quieter and more reserved than any other guy I
’
ve been interested in. Makes me
wonder if maybe he
’
s
keeping something.
”
Ian
had his camera bag slung across his body, and he swung it forward on his hip to
pull out his camera from within it. As he unscrewed the lens cap, he continued
talking.
“
I
don
’
t
think that
’
s
necessarily the case. People can be withdrawn for lots of reasons. I wouldn
’
t go to the worst case scenario right
away.
”
“
And what would that be?
”
“
That he
’
s an Italian mob ring leader and
brought us here to murder us and dump our bodies in the Po.
”
Ian
angled his camera my direction, snapped a quick shot, and then fiddled with the
settings on the back to adjust the exposure, unsatisfied.
“
Pretty sure that
’
s not the case,
”
I laughed.
“
I just can
’
t figure him out.
”
“
And why do you think that
’
s your job?
”
He dropped the lens from his eye and
surveyed me up and down. I shrugged. I didn
’
t know why, honestly. It felt like my
job.
“
Listen.
I
’
ve lived with you for the past three
years and I have yet to figure you out, Missy. People are evolving. We change.
We adapt. We mold and bend. I don
’
t
think you
’
re
going to have Leo all summed up after, what? A week of knowing him?
”
What
he was saying wasn
’
t
too far from what I
’
d
told Sofia back in the bathroom. And in truth, I didn
’
t want to figure Leo all out. But I
did want more. Maybe that was a good thing. When I really thought about it,
this was the exciting point in a relationship. That phase of discovery and
exploration. And I was ready to explore Leo like I was Magellan setting sail on
another voyage to circumnavigate the earth. Anchor
’
s aweigh!
“
Take things slow, Jules. There is no
need to rush when it comes to matters of the heart.
”
“
Oh wow.
”
Just as I said that, Ian snapped
another photograph. That one was surely a keeper.
“
Look at you getting all
philosophically romantic.
”
Ian
smiled and rapid fired about ten more shots.
“
Italy has that affect on me. Makes me
all mushy.
”
“
Me too.
”
“
Are we ready?
”
Leo
’
s voice startled me, even though I
’
d been expecting him. And I should
have expected him to look amazing as usual, but the crisp, collared shirt with
its sleeves rolled to his elbows and the thinly lined, tan corduroys were more
than I
’
d
bargained for. This was the most Italian I
’
d
ever seen him, and he wore it unbelievably well.
Trading
his 50mm lens for one about the size of his arm, Ian nodded.
“
Sure are.
”
After he fit it to the camera, he
fluttered a hand toward us, almost as if to shoo us away.
“
I
’
ve got my sniper lens on, so I
’
m going to shoot you from quite a
distance.
”
I
suddenly felt like we were being hunted. Which, in fairness, I did once call
Leo a piece of meat, so it wasn
’
t
entirely off base to feel this way.
“
You won
’
t even notice I
’
m here, which is exactly the point.
The editor said she wants lifestyle images, not the typical posed ones for this
section of the spread.
”
“
Works for me.
”
“
Me too,
”
I smiled in agreement.
“
Like, I
literally
work for you.
”
Wow,
I was nervous.
“
Good one.
”
Leo gave it to me.
“
Not really. That one was stupid.
”
Dismissing
my self-critique with a smile, Leo threaded his fingers into mine and pulled me
with him down the closest row of vines. They were tall and rose up to about my
shoulders. Their green leaves stretched out in star-like bursts of color and I
could see the beginning buds of grapes dotting each plant like from the flick
of a painter
’
s
brush.
“
Here. Let
’
s head down this way.
”
I
followed upon his heels and could hear the
click,
click, click
of Ian
’
s
shutter back up on the Villa
’
s
patio. Great. He was getting some fabulous shots of my rear, and Sofia hadn
’
t helped me at all to get that part
ready. I know I had a drunken rant about the need for more asses in art, but I
wasn
’
t
referring to my own. That one should steer clear of the limelight.
“
So I had a little chat with Sofia
this morning.
”
If we were supposed to be casual, might as well start in on the casual
conversation.
“
And?
”
Leo didn
’
t turn back to look at me.
“
What did she have to say?
”
“
That she cheated on you.
”
There
was a slight tug in his grip on my hand, but Leo recovered quickly.
“
True.
”
If
he was going to answer in one-word sentences, it would be years before we broke
the ice. It was practically like there were Titanic-sinking glaciers between
us.
“
And that you are impossible to get to
know.
”
“
Impossible? Really?
”
There was a questioning lilt to his
voice.
“
That
’
s what she said?
”
I
thought back.
“
No,
maybe not impossible. But very hard to read.
”
Leo
’
s thumb rubbed in a circular motion
against the back of my hand, gently stroking it as he spoke.
“
I
’
m not an open book, if that
’
s what you
’
re asking, Julie.
”
Maybe
it was. I supposed I was asking something with that, but I didn
’
t know quite what. I think I just
wanted to see what kind of information he might offer up on his own.
“
But I
’
m not completely closed, either. I
just like to choose who gets to read me.
”
Well,
if he was a book, I wanted to pore over him like I was studying for the Bar
exam. I
’
d
even purchase the braille version, just so I had an excuse to run my fingers
all over it and feel him up.
“
I
’
m usually extremely cautious. Which I
think is why I
’
m
good at what I do. It takes a certain prudence to make it in this market.
”
We
’
d stopped walking now, and I couldn
’
t even see Ian any longer. Couldn
’
t hear the clicking of his camera. We
were alone. Just Leo and me, under the Tuscan sky. Oh my word, at what point
had my life become a chick flick movie?
Leo
kept talking.
“
But
when it comes to relationships, I want you to know I consider myself off that
market.
”
“
Because of me?
”
My voice cracked.
“
Yes.
”
His thumb squeezed into my hand.
“
Because of you.
”
Flipping
toward me, Leo pressed his lips to my forehead, pushing their fullness onto my
skin.
“
Can I ask you something?
”
I peered up at him. He was still
close to me, his mouth hovering just over my brow.
“
Sure.
”
I felt the breathy heat of his
syllables on my face.
“
You said you
’
re like David. That bit about the
battle.
”
He nodded.
“
What
did you mean?
”
Leo
’
s eyes hit straight into mine. I
couldn
’
t
imagine Ian
’
s
lens would be able to reach this far, but I sure hoped it could. That look
deserved to be caught on camera. It was breathtaking. Open and real. I wanted
to capture it and keep it forever.
“
You know when people die from cancer,
they always say
‘
So-and-so
lost their four-year-long battle with cancer on such-and-such date
’
?
”
I
nodded. That did seem like it was the go-to obituary for that disease.
“
Well, my mom hated that phrase.
‘
How dare they say I
’
ve lost the battle?
’
is what she would always tell me.
‘
Each day that I survived, I won.
’
To her, dying didn
’
t mean losing. It just meant that you
didn
’
t
have to fight anymore.
”
Oh
hell, I wanted to kiss him. So I decided I would. I straightened my spine, angled
my face, and lifted my mouth to his. I waited a breath before succumbing to his
lips, and in that pause Leo
’
s
eyes flickered wildly over mine
—
from
my eyes down to my mouth, back up to my eyes again.
“
Well,
”
he smirked, the corner of his mouth
tugged upward, knowing full well what I planned to do.
“
What are you waiting for?
”
Absolutely
nothing.