Dudes Down Under (7 page)

“
What do you want, Tony?” said his ex-wife.

“
Fuck … fuck, fuck!” He couldn’t believe his bad luck.

“
That was never our problem, Tony. What the hell do you want?
 
What is that stink?”

“
Kylie Andrews is passed out cold in a buggy a short distance away. I need your help. She threw up all over me. That’s what stinks.”

“
You must be losing your touch, lover-boy. You never used to have to get them drunk first.”

“
Not now, Nessa, all right? She’s in a bad way and I wouldn’t like anyone to see her in that condition. Please, it’s not for me, but have some pity on the girl, for fuck’s sake.”

“
Oh this is really inconvenient. I’m ready for bed, damn it. Oh hell. Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.”

Vanessa Dayton left the bungalow and hurried down to where her ex-husband stood smoking a forbidden cigarette. She was wearing a short, short diaphanous black baby-doll set, and her long blonde hair hung almost to her tiny waist. Her ex found himself staring and his body responding.

Oh this is great, just great. Why her? Somebody must hate me.

“
Okay, how far is she? For God’s sake, take off those disgusting stinking trousers. You’ll make me throw up next.”

He saw the sense in that statement. He undid his belt and let them drop. They headed down the pathway towards where Kylie was sitting, out cold.

Their combined efforts to wake her failed, although she was breathing okay. In fact, she was snoring, which made Vanessa Dayton smile. Tony drove the buggy to the base of Vanessa’s bungalow.

“
Can she stay with you tonight, Nessa? I don’t have any idea what bungalow she’s in, and I can hardly ask at reception dressed as I am.”

“
Yes, okay. Not much else we can do, is there? Help me get her upstairs and into a tub. She is not going to sleep in my guest room stinking like that.”

Between them, they managed to half-walk and half-carry Kylie’s semi-conscious form up the stairs and into the bungalow. Vanessa stripped off the ruined clothing and dropped it outside on the balcony. They manipulated her into the enormous bathroom and Tony removed his shirt to hold her upright while Vanessa turned on the shower, ice-cold.

“
You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Nessa?”

The beautiful blonde laughed delightedly. “I surely am. This is priceless!”

She was right, it was. He threw back his head and joined in the laughter.

The woman walking along the path below heard the sound. That laugh was very familiar. It must be Tony and Karen’s bungalow. She was about to continue along the pathway when another laugh caught her attention. She’d bet her bottom dollar that wasn’t the deep laugh of Karen Brown.

There was another buggy parked out front. Obviously Tony and Karen had company. She walked on a few paces and stopped, remembering that she had not long ago seen Karen standing by the pool's edge not far from her own bungalow. Why would she go all that way when the pool here was so close by?

She was curious, in spite of feeling like an eavesdropper. She stepped back a few paces into the darkness and waited to see if she could see or hear anything more.

Tony and Vanessa had managed to rouse Kylie sufficiently to towel her dry and dress her in a loose-flowing negligée of Vanessa’s.
 
They laid her on the guest bed, covered her with a cool cotton sheet, turned out the light and closed the guest-room door.

The woman downstairs walked across to the buggy outside. Two buggies per bungalow, and this one had three. She took note of the number on the roof of the buggy and smiled in satisfaction. She would have to check with reception to find out whose bungalow it was.

She quickly stepped back into the darkness as she heard the sliding glass doors of the bungalow slide open. She had no idea whose bungalow this was either but she had a feeling she was about to find out.

“
Bring me out a drink, would you?" Vanessa asked.

“
Yeah, after that I need one as well. Are you still drinking Manhattans?”

“
Uh-huh.”

The woman below caught her breath; this wasn’t at all what she had even remotely suspected.

Vanessa Dayton was silhouetted by the light of the inside bar. She wore only the briefest of lingerie, and her hair was down and mussed up. Tony Brown came out onto the balcony with his hair dripping wet. He was
 
wearing only a tiny pair of briefs. He handed a cocktail to his beautiful, half-naked, ex-wife.

The queen of daytime television was stunned, and then delighted. Well, well, well. This holiday was certainly getting more interesting by the second.

She hurried away, shielded by the darkness.

Chapter 7

Tony arrived back at his own bungalow. He switched on the light, expecting to find his wife Karen in bed and probably asleep. He was surprised to find her sitting in the dark. She was sipping on some form of drink and not looking at all impressed with life.

She looked even less happy when she took in the fact that he was only wearing his jocks. His hair was wet and he smelled faintly of lavender and pine-scented soap.

“
Where the hell have you been? How could you leave me alone like this for so long? And what the fuck are you doing with next to nothing on?”

Tony had the distinct feeling she would not even begin to believe his explanation. Shit!

Lana Peters returned to her bungalow knowing full well that sometimes things were not as they first appeared. She wasn’t a bad person - in fact she was a damned good friend to have - so no matter what she had seen, she kind of hoped it was easily explainable. Yet she was enough of a woman to admit to herself with a smile that it would require one hell of an explanation.

*  *  *

Kylie Andrews awoke and carefully looked around her. Someone had changed the décor in her bungalow. Alternatively, she had gotten totally drunk outta her brain again and that meant she could be in anyone’s bed. She could only hope it wasn’t the crocodile’s.

She didn’t usually get hangovers and today was no different, thank God. She took a sniff at the air closest to her. She mustn’t have been sick this time. Good. She sat up and realized she was wearing a beautiful negligée and it wasn't one of hers.

Oh, hell. She hadn’t gone down that road before. She was still trying to make sense of it when Vanessa Dayton walked in without knocking. “Morning, Kylie … coffee?”

“
Hi, er, yes, please. Cream and sugar. What happened? Last night, I mean. How, why …what did I do, and who did I do it with?”

“
You don’t remember anything?”

“
Not a thing!”

“
Well, I could have fun and tease you but I won’t. Tony found you passed out cold behind the wheel of your buggy. He came here because my bungalow was the only one nearby. Believe me, he wasn’t a happy camper when he realized it was me staying here. He and I both got you inside. You had been sick all over Tony and yourself, so we showered you. I dressed you and we put you to bed. Your buggy is still outside.”

“
I was alone? When he found me, I mean.”

“
Yep.”

“
Thank God for that.”

“
You owe Tony a big thank you, and me too, come to think of it.
 
Why do you do that to yourself? I’m afraid it loses me in the translation. You must have more pride left than that, surely?”

“
Pride, huh? Nope, that’s long gone. But I have plenty of hatred to spare, if you could use any.”

“
No thanks. Been there, done that - for about a week. I don’t believe in wasting emotion on a situation that can’t be changed.”

“
You didn’t want to kill her?”

“
No, not her. However, I gave serious consideration to having a hit put on Tony, for about five minutes. You do realize, don’t you, Kylie, that you are making a bigger fool of yourself than Tristan or Izzy ever did?”

“
Shit, don’t hold back, Vanessa. You know, give it to me straight.”

“
Kylie, you forget I’m Australian. Straight is the way we are. What’s the point in making you feel better by lying to you? All you are doing is driving people that do care about you further away. Tristan is not ever coming back to you. Some men can’t be married to one woman for very long. Izzy knows that. She knows she can’t hold him either. It’s just a matter of time.”

“
Do you believe that, really?”

“
Yes.”

“
Good, that makes me feel much better. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving woman.”

“
Well, your problem, kid, not mine. Throw something of mine on and head back to your own place, would you? I have things to do.”

“
Shit, you really are straightforward, aren’t you? Um … thank you for last night.”

“
Just don’t do it again, and don’t forget you owe Tony a vote of thanks and a pair of new trousers.”

Kylie laughed and shook her head in admiration. This woman was nothing like she’d imagined her to be. “Thanks again, Vanessa.”

Vanessa smiled and hurried out of the room to attend to something else.

*  *  *

The atmosphere in the Brown’s bungalow was icy cold and it had nothing to do with the air conditioning. Tony had spent the night in the guest-room. Karen had had a fit of hysterics and locked him out of their bedroom.

He had been telling the damned truth but she hadn’t believed a word of it. He could only hope that Kylie Andrews would back him up.
That’ll teach me to be a nice guy
.

He tried to feel more positive about the situation. Eventually he gave up, got up and dressed, and headed off to reception to find out the number of Kylie’s bungalow.

*  *  *

Lana Peters checked the guest room and found Shnookems stretched out naked on the guest bed.

She woke him with a freshly brewed coffee and told him gently that their association was at an end. He took it too damn well, especially when he knew his contract would still ensure he was handsomely rewarded. Arrangements were made for him to head back to the States.

Lana had made a decision to just enjoy being alone. She was in an ideal place to relax and reflect on her life. Maybe changes needed making.

*  *  *

Skeet left Cyril to his own devices in his fenced yard while he headed on down to the complex in search of Max. It was time to create the mud puddle. He’d fetch Cyril when that job was done.
 

*  *  *

At four-thirty, Skeet and Max turned on the large hoses and began to fill the huge crater of silt with water. It soon turned into a thick, slushy, sticky mud puddle about four feet across. The men pronounced it perfect. Skeet fetched Cyril. He ensured he had his hat and sunglasses on. Cyril sat under an umbrella with a few of the other staff, watching with interest.

Skeet had decided on the red t-shirt for him today. It brought out the recent color of his eyes. Cyril was comfortable. Besides, he knew that all those tubs were filled to the top with ice and beer. It was a fine life for a crocodile. He wouldn’t be a handbag for any fool's money.

The guests started to wander into the area around five p.m.

Huge marquees in bright florescent colors had been set up around the lush area that was completed with comfortable recliners and tables, bar staff, and a huge selection of afternoon munchies.

Lucy sat with Ginny, Didi, Max and Doc. She was thrilled to see the number of guests that had gathered. Many of them had also brought along their own staff members to join in if they wished.

The women were a collection of the greatest bodies money could buy. Many of them had chosen to wear string bikinis. Lucy knew damned well she would have no problem whatsoever persuading any of the males on staff to assist. Nor the females either. The A-list guys were to die for.

She smiled to herself. The staff members would not let her down. Most of the guys she employed were male models or strippers; they made the greatest bar staff - friendly to talk to, and even friendlier on the eyes.

Didi walked across to the microphone, “Okay, lovely to see so many of you. As we are going to be out in the sun to do this, I have t-shirts for everyone in all colors and sizes. I suggest that you lather on some Goth sun lotion. Please wear your hats until it’s your turn to compete. All right, first round. We are gonna have guests vs. staff. Males only. You lovely people select six men and we will do the same. You also need to have an anchorman. If there are insufficient numbers, you may take volunteers from the Dude’s staff. So, c’mon people, choose ‘em up then come on over while I go through the rules.”