Dumfries (21 page)

  “Did that fucking greasy Atalian basturt jist threaten us wae a riot if he didnae get whit he wis efter, Governor?” The Chief demanded, a look ae disbelief in that piggy face ae his.

  “No, Chief.  Gucci just threatened to harm the families of the officers when they’re absent, working across in The H-Blocks in Northern Ireland,” The Governor replied tersely, pressing his shaking index finger oan tae the white intercom buzzer button, appalled.

  “Yes, Governor?” Miss Beaker’s crackling, tinny voice squeaked, bouncing aff the walls ae the office.

  “Please get me Mr Thomas Peacock at The Department in Edinburgh on the line.  If he’s unavailable, keep trying.  Tell him that it’s an emergency.  Once you’ve done that, please come through here and bring a pen and notepad with you.”

  “Governor?” The Chief asked, confused.

  “We need to get a statement from all the officers who were in this room with Gucci straight away,” The Governor said, cursing himsel under his breath, fur being such a fool as tae allow Gucci the space tae issue his threat.

  “
Good evening.  My name is John Turney and these are the news headlines in Scotland tonight. 

Hopes of a settlement in the Glasgow bus dispute were raised earlier today after it was revealed that further talks by union and management officials would continue.  Deadlock in the talks so far have brought a shutdown to services across the city…

  The Chairman of the Scottish Police Federation, John Robertson, is calling for all police officers in Scotland to be armed following the shooting of two unarmed, plain clothed police officers, who raided a house in search of a violent criminal in Nethan Street in Govan late last night.  It is thought that one of the police officers, Sergeant Thomas Paling, is in a critical condition in the city’s Western Infirmary where he has undergone surgery for gunshot wounds to his abdomen.  The other officer, PC Wilber Hopeman, was said to be in a satisfactory condition in The Royal Infirmary after being transferred there this morning.  The gunman, Terence Davidson, a well-known gangster in the south of the city, was later shot dead by police sharpshooters in a house in Summertown Road in Govan, bringing the incident to a close.  It is thought Davidson was wanted in connection with a string of armed robberies in the south of the city.  A spokesman for The Secretary of State for Scotland said that the Secretary didn’t believe that arming the police was the answer and could lead to more criminals arming themselves if they knew the police were armed…

  Well known comedian and popular Scottish TV star, Charlie Chip, cut the ribbon to open the new extension of Glasgow businessman John McCaffrey’s Honest John’s Kitchen Essentials store on Dumbarton Road this morning, causing traffic hold-ups to those heading to work.  It’s believed that over a thousand screaming fans, mostly housewives, turned up for the event…

An articulated lorry containing over six hundred thousand cigarettes was stolen from WH & HO Wills Number 12 Factory on Alexander Parade last night…

  And still on Alexander Parade, Twelve-year-old Nancy Robertson was stable in Glasgow Royal Infirmary after being hit by a stolen Ford Cortina, whilst it was being pursued by police last night.  The youngster had been returning from a shopping trip with her mother.  Nancy from nearby…

  Sanitation officers, escorted by uniformed police, closed down an illegal butchers factory on Garscube Road this morning.  Three women and two men were arrested and will appear in court tomorrow morning charged under the…

Two teenagers were stabbed on London Road in the Gallowgate last night after being pursued by a gang of youths wielding baseball bats and knives.  One of the youths, fifteen-year-old Stephen Waddell was detained in The Royal Infirmary after undergoing an emergency operation lasting in to the early hours of this morning.  His friend, fourteen year old Barry Case was allowed home after having fourteen stitches inserted in his head.  Both boys are pupils of…

A man was let off with a warning at Central Police Court today after he admitted attacking his seventy-one-year-old wife whilst under the influence of alcohol…”

Chapter Twenty

  Johnboy groaned as he tried tae shift his cramped left leg. The cuffs wur biting intae that anklebone ae his.  He couldnae see them, bit he wis familiar wae the feeling.  He opened his eyes and blinked a few times before hivving his first look aboot the room.  The screw wis sitting oan a chair by the door, his feet stretched oot in front ae him, wae his hat skewed tae the side, quietly snoring.  He wisnae too sure whit the time wis, although the light streaming in through the windae behind and above his heid telt him it must’ve been some time during the day.  He attempted tae lift his heid aff ae the pillow, bit gied up withoot a fight, as a searing bolt ae pain shot up fae his side intae the back ae his neck.  He felt the sweat break oot oan his foreheid.  He knew he wis in hospital, bit couldnae remember hivving arrived there.  The last thing he could remember wis a bunch ae screws charging towards him, efter his assessment interview and later oan in his cell in the digger, when another bunch, aw decked oot in riot gear, ladled intae him wae batons and heavy booted feet.  He remembered making a pathetic attempt tae defend himsel, bit he’d soon been oot ae the game.  He shut his eyes.  He felt the steady throbbing in his heid as he unstuck his tongue fae the roof ae his mooth.  He wondered whit day it wis and how long he’d been there.  His memory wis coming back in fast flashbacks.  The screaming, horrified, open-moothed look oan the kisser ae the ugly-faced social worker at his assessment interview flashed across the inside ae his eyelids.  He smiled tae himsel.  Maybe the next time they met, the cheeky cow widnae be so fucking lippy and wid keep her opinions aboot him tae hersel.  He sensed a presence nearby and opened his eyes.  He instinctively glanced across at Sleeping Beauty, bit he hidnae shifted fae his slumber ae catching flies wae that drooling gub hinging open.  He let oot a groan as his body reacted tae the soft-fingered touch ae somewan’s fingers lifting up his left haun.  The nurse didnae look much aulder than him.  He studied her face as she concentrated oan the wee watch attached tae the chest ae her uniform.  Fae where he wis lying, he could see the ootline ae her breast pressing against the cloth ae the uniform oan her right side.  She gently lay his erm back doon oan the blanket and picked up the board that wis hinging oan the bed frame at his feet and wrote something doon.

  “Will Ah live?” he rasped.

  “Oh, ye’re awake?  That’s good,” she replied, whispering and smiling, as she came towards him.

  “Don’t whisper oan account ae disturbing him.  Ah’m the wan that’s sick aboot here,” he reminded her, nodding across tae the snorer.

  “How ur ye feeling?” she asked, checking the drip bag that wis attached tae his erm.

  “Sore.”

  “Aye, yer body’s been through the wringer, so it his.”

  “So, whit’s wrang wae me then?”

  “Well, Ah’m no really supposed tae be talking tae ye and the doctor wid probably be the best wan tae tell ye,” she whispered, glancing across at the screw.

  She reminded Johnboy ae Senga Jackson, even though she didnae hiv Senga’s fair, blonde hair.  It wis the uniform and straight, even white teeth and easy smile that he recognised.

  “Ah’m sure the doctor widnae lose much sleep if he knew that ye’d responded tae a dying boy’s last request,” he said, attempting tae illicit another wee smile oot ae her.

  “Well, ye’ve goat seventeen stitches oan the back ae yer heid.  Yer right erm is fractured and ye’ve goat wan broken and two cracked ribs…that and a few other scrapes and gashes.”

  “Kin Ah hiv a wee drink ae water or something?”

  “Ah’m sorry.  Ye’ll hiv tae wait until ye speak tae the doctor.  Yer kidneys and liver goat a bit ae a bashing as well, although they don’t think there’ll be any lasting long-term damage,” she replied apologetically, glancing across at the screw again, who’d jist woken up and wis noo stretching baith his erms and legs oot in front ae himsel, imitating a black-clad starfish.

  “Ma heid’s splitting.  Is there any chance ae an aspirin or something?”

  “Ah’m sorry.  Ye’ll hiv tae wait until ye speak tae the doctor,” they baith chimed thegither, before laughing.

  “Ye’re actually quite funny, so ye ur,” she finished wae.

  “Nae drink or painkiller?  Ah thought this wis supposed tae be a hospital?”

  “It is, bit look oan the bright side.  Every cloud’s goat a silver lining,” she chuckled, as she put an extra pillow under his heid, ignoring his grunts ae pain.

  “And how dae ye work than wan oot?”

  “Ye’ve goat somewan like me tae look efter ye.  Ye should see who ye could’ve goat,” she replied smiling, nodding tae the screw oan her way oot ae the door, as Johnboy drifted aff tae Slumberville again.

Chapter Twenty One

  “Whit dae ye mean ‘Every cloud his a silver lining?’  Whit the hell’s that supposed tae mean?” Simon Epstein, known tae everywan ootside ae The Mankys as The Carpet Blagger, hid demanded, glaring across the room at Johnboy as if everything that wis wrang in Simon’s life wis his fault.

  “It’s an expression that that ma ae mine’s always used tae come oot wae when the shit hit the fan and everything looked worse than it really wis,” Johnboy replied, emphasising the ‘looking worse than it really wis’ bit ae his response.  “It always made her feel better, so it did,” Johnboy hid continued, three months efter Silent hid plugged Deck McGuiness in Wee Jimmy Tarbuck’s laundry.

  “Tony, dae ye know whit the fuck he’s oan aboot?” Simon hid demanded, hauns spread wide, looking at the rest ae The Mankys tae see if it wis jist him.

  “Ah think whit Johnboy is trying tae say is that it’s no as bad as it looks…that it could be worse.  Is that no right, Johnboy?” Tony hid responded wae, a playful glint in they Atalian eyes ae his, as the rest ae The Mankys ignored Simon as they fidgeted aboot oan their perches, trying tae get comfortable.

“Aye, something like that,” Johnboy hid agreed, waiting fur the rest ae the shite tae spew forth fae the stuck record.

  Johnboy remembered looking across at Silent, who wis tucked tightly in-between Peter and Ben, oan the couch, no saying a word, as per usual.  That hid been fine, as far as Johnboy wis concerned, seeing as it wis Silent that wis the cause ae Simon’s incessant moaning.  Johnboy thought back tae the morning efter Deck’s demise. Tony and Snappy hid arrived up at Johnboy and Silent’s flat oan Heim Street jist before eight o’clock in the morning.  When Johnboy hid opened the door jist enough tae see who wis making aw the racket, the pair ae them hid jist pushed past him and stomped through tae the kitchen.

  “Right, where the fuck is he?” Tony hid demanded.

  “Who?”

  “James Bond, Double O and a hauf, haufwit, who dae ye think?” Snappy hid snarled, wae wan ae his best sneers that he’d obviously been practicing in front ae the mirror, clearly relishing being in oan the shit that wis, fur wance, flying in the opposite direction fae him.

  “And he fucking better hiv goat shot ae that PPK,” Tony hid snarled, plapping that angry Atalian arse ae his doon heavily oan a chair.

“He’s in his kip, and aye, we goat shot ae the gun and the clothes we wur wearing. Peter popped a bag wae everything in it inside the furnace up at the swimming baths before it wis fired up this morning.”

  “So, whit the fuck ur ye staunin there fur?  Go and gie him a bloody shout then,” Tony hid snarled, clearly getting himsel aw excited.

  “Fuck aff.  If ye want tae talk tae him, go and gie him a shout yersel,” Johnboy hid retorted, attempting tae delay the anticipated sherricking, switching aff the water tap and putting the teapot oan the gas ring.

  “Hoi, Goldfinger, get that spotty arse ae yers through here and explain yersel, ya diddy, ye,” Snappy hid shouted gleefully alang the lobby, clearly enjoying himsel.

  “See the effing trouble youse pair ae eejits hiv caused?  Aw Ah asked ye tae dae wis wan wee simple favour and whit happens? Ye end up bloody shooting that prick Deck McGuiness, efter we aw agreed that we widnae end up daeing Wan-bob’s dirty work fur him.  Dae ye know how much that’s gonnae cost us?” Tony hid spat at Johnboy’s back as he finally found his box ae bluebell matches and lit the ring.

  “Look, it wis an accident, so it wis.  It wisnae planned.  Ah telt ye last night.  When we arrived tae gie Wee Jimmy his money, Deck wis ladling intae him.  Whit wur we supposed tae dae, eh?”

  “And whit wis aw that shite aboot, involving Danny Murphy?  Him and that Shaun wan ur fucking spitting nails, so they ur.”

  “Ach, well,” Johnboy replied, wae a shrug ae his shoulders, no being able tae stoap a wee smile appearing oan his lips, “Ah couldnae help masel.”

  “Ye’ve only jist fucking gone and poured petrol oan tae the fire wae that wan, ya stupid prick ye.”

  “Aye, Ah know.  Ah’m sorry.  It wis only efter we goat up the road, Ah realised Ah shouldnae hiv done that.”

  “Johnboy, don’t fucking lie tae me as if ye’re talking tae Snappy or wan ae they other eejits,” Tony continued.

  “Hoi, ya cheeky greaser, ye.  Ah’m fucking sitting here,” Snappy retorted.

  “Ah telt ye…it wis an accident, so it wis,” Johnboy replied lamely.

  “An accident?  Is that it?  Ah fucking accident?”

  “Aye.”

  “Oh well, that’s okay then,” Tony harrumphed.  “Is he trying tae take the piss oot ae us or whit?” Tony demanded tae know fae Snappy, his voice bouncing aff the ceiling, deliberately exaggerating his acceptance ae Johnboy’s excuse.

  “Wan-bob’s refusing tae haun o’er the money he promised us.  So, no only hiv youse fucked up good and proper, we’re no getting a penny fur oor troubles either.  That’s whit Tony’s trying tae tell ye,” Snappy hid volunteered happily.

  “And how did the grippy basturt come tae that conclusion then?” Johnboy hid demanded tae know, looking fae wan tae the other.

  “According tae Wan-bob, Deck being plugged in Jimmy Tarbuck’s Chinese Laundry wis between us and Deck himsel.  He’s saying the argument between you, 007 through there in his wanking pit and Deck hid fuck-aw tae dae wae his original offer, so he disnae see why he should be squaring us up fur something that wid’ve happened anyway.”

  “Bit he offered us two hunner and fifty bucks tae take care ae it.”

  “Aye, bit efter he goat the low-doon oan whit happened fae Jimmy, it wis obvious that Deck wis in the wrang place at the wrang time, so he’s refusing tae haun o’er the dosh, so he is. He thinks because Kim Sui’s related tae Wee Jimmy, we wur jist jumping in tae help him oot because ae her connection wae me. No only that, bit the grippy basturt says we’re lucky he’s no charging us fur getting rid ae the body.”

  “That’s fucking bang oot ae order, so it is.  We dae aw the dirty work and he’s refusing tae cough up,” Johnboy hid cursed in disgust, haunin o’er a mug ae tea tae the pair ae them, as the living room door opened wae Silent arriving oan the scene in his Y-fronts, gieing they baws a his a good scratch while yawning.

  “This is aw your fault, ya haufwit, ye.  See the trouble you and that fancy gun ae yours hiv caused everywan?” Snappy hid gleefully declared, happy as Larry.

  Johnboy remembered smiling tae himsel as he watched Tony blow the steam aff the tap ae his ‘Welcome Tae Dunoon’ mug, glaring across at Silent.  The reason Wan-bob Broon wis called Wan-bob, wis because he wis a notoriously grippy tight-arsed basturt.  When he wis younger, growing up and making a name fur himsel in the Toonheid back in the thirties and forties, nowan wid go tae him, unless it wis as a last resort, tae sell him any knocked-aff stuff because aw he wid offer them wis a shilling fur whitever it wis they wur trying tae get rid ae…hence the tag.  Seemingly, ye hid tae be really desperate back then if ye ended up gaun tae Wan-bob Broon tae try and shift yer swag. 

“Ah still don’t get it,” Simon hid repeated, bringing Johnboy back tae the situation in haun, still confused by Johnboy’s ma’s silver lining line.

  Johnboy hid been studying the faces in the room.  No matter how busy everywan wis, they always grabbed the opportunity tae hiv a lounge aboot in each other’s company, away fae everywan, even though, like jist noo, it could be a bit ae a pain in the arse.  Peter Paterson, The Mankys’ runner, used Silent’s knee tae push himsel up aff the couch tae go and staun wae his back leaning against the sink, efter filling a pint glass full ae water.  Peter goat fifteen percent ae everything that The Mankys put his way tae sell. He could flog sand tae the Arabs and ice-lollies tae the Eskimos.  Maist ae the time, The Mankys couldnae keep up wae Peter’s customers’ demands, which transformed him fae a happy-chappie maist ae the time, in tae a grumpy, whinging basturt, if he thought The Mankys wurnae coming up wae the goods fast enough.  Sitting oan the other side ae Silent, Ben hid been lying back wae his eyes shut, feet resting oan the coffee table, putting oan an exaggerated show that he’d heard aw the arguments amongst them aw a hunner times before…which he probably hid, and he wisnae interested in gaun o’er auld ground.  At that time, Ben, alang wae Snappy, who’d been amusing himsel by sitting shuffling a deck ae playing cards oan Tony’s coffee table, wur The Mankys’ main floaters.  The pair ae them goat involved in everywan’s blagging, including taking maist ae the responsibility fur dissuading anywan who stood in the way ae everywan else making loads ae money.  This persuasion usually took the form ae extreme violence.  When Snappy hid first attached himsel tae The Mankys, him and Johnboy hid worked in the big stores in the toon centre blagging furniture and anything else Peter could flog.  They’d get a shitey-paid job as storeroom boys and then wid hide somewhere in the building at the end ae the day when the place wis getting shut up.  In the meantime, Peter’s customers wid’ve been doon in tae the shoap writing oot a list ae whit they wur efter. Efter a few months, Snappy hid goat fed up and hid gone aff tae be a lorry and goods wagon hijacker alang wae Ben.  As floaters, they drifted in and oot ae everything and anything that wis gaun oan at any wan time.  They flitted fae job tae job, taking a cut ae the proceeds fae whoever they wur helping oot.  Johnboy suspected that maist people ootside ae The Mankys, who took any interest in them, probably viewed Snappy and Ben as being Tony’s main inflictors ae pain when he fell oot wae people.  That wis probably true up tae a point, although there wisnae anywan lounging aboot in the room who hidnae dished oot some grief and hurt when it hid been required o’er the past few years.  Also, by that time, Simon hid been building up quite a reputation fur being somewan no tae cross at yer peril.  Sitting oan Tony’s wan and only kitchen stool tae the left ae Snappy wis Pat McCabe.  Pat dealt in everything gold.  Pat could tell ye the carat ae anything that dazzled at a hunner paces and hid become obsessed wae opening up his ain jewellery shoap.  Six months earlier, Pat hid hid the cheek tae breeze intae Papa Fraser’s wee second-haun Jewellery shoap doon in West Nile Street and offer tae buy him oot.  Papa hid jist aboot toppled aff ae his rickety auld saddle seat in the workshoap at the back ae the shoap.  He’d laughed that hard, he hidnae been able tae stoap himsel fae dribbling pish doon the inside leg ae his Brooke Brothers’ troosers.

  “Right, who’s put ye up tae this?  Is it that Wan-bob wan?” Papa hid demanded, wiping the tears away.

  “Papa, Ah’m serious.  How much fur this dump?” Pat hid persisted, as Simon hid sat and joined in wae Papa’s merriment.

  “Pat, stoap it, ye’re killing me, son,” Papa hid chuckled, waving aff Pat wae his auld freckly skeletal erm.

  “Ah cannae see whit’s so funny, kin you?” Pat hid asked, turning tae a grinning Simon, a puzzled look spread across his coupon.

  “Look, Ah’ll tell ye whit.  Ye’re right, Ah hiv been thinking ae retiring, so Ah’ll tell ye whit Ah’ll dae, Pat, seeing as it’s you.  You slap doon a hunner grand cash and Ah’ll throw in three months ae ma time tae show ye the ropes,” Papa hid chortled wae a twinkle in they auld watery eyes ae his.

  Ever since Papa, who wis wan ae Pat’s best customers ae scrap gold, hid slapped Pat doon in front ae Simon, Pat hid become obsessed wae trying tae raise a hunner grand.  There hid been a lot ae speculation amongst The Mankys oan how much Pat hid actually squirreled away since his run-in wae Papa.  Simon hid reckoned that he must’ve been sitting wae aboot ten or eleven grand sloshing aboot at that time, which wis a humongous amount ae dosh tae be gaun tae bed at night wae.  Tae Johnboy, Pat sitting wae that amount hidnae come as a surprise.  The Mankys hid started haudin up Post Offices aw o’er the north ae the city oan tap ae everything else they wur up tae, and whereas before, Pat hid never wanted tae be involved in the dirty side ae The Mankys’ world, he’d started tae volunteer every time anywan came up wae a new post office or factory wages clerk office tae haud up.  Sitting oan the erm ae the other ermchair beside Tony, no saying too much, wis Jake McAlpine, looking like he wis impersonating a tailor’s dummy.  A few years earlier, Jake hid been thieving suits and jaickets oot ae Jacksons The Tailors doon in Union Street, and noo he wis well oan his way efter opening up his ain trendy boutique.  Jake wis dealing in lorry and van loads ae tap-ae-the-range trendy gear such as Thea Porter, Missoni, Halston, Bob Gibb and Diane Von Furstenberg.  He’d also been making good money oan bolts ae fabrics.  As well as making good connections in the rag trade doon in London via a Charlie Hastie connection, he’d hauf ae Springburn’s wee school doggers oot and aboot across the city every week tracking doon wagons and warehooses full ae the pick ae the crop.  Hauf the wee wans in the area couldnae read or write, bit they could spot a
label a mile aff if it hid a Bill Blass tag oan it.  Everywan hid money burning a hole in their pockets. Whereas before, everywan basically blew their dosh oan shite or gied it away, the amount being generated wis too much tae dae that.  The problem hid been resolved by none other than Donna The Prima Donna, efter Wan-bob hid asked her tae go and talk tae The Mankys aboot the importance ae no being frivolous wae their easily-earned dosh.  It wis so easy, that it wis bloody brilliant.

  “Safety deposit boxes?” they’d aw sang in unison, hauf ae them gawping at her in wonder and the other hauf wondering whit the fuck she wis oan aboot, as she took a wee sip ae her port fae the personal wee sherry glass she’d slipped oot her bag earlier in Jonah’s, wan night efter hours.